Away Games: Praying Before Meals

[DMcB]

What are your thoughts on the following situation?:

Your family (spouse, kids, and the well behaved dog) is at a another familiy's home for a meal where both families are sitting at the same table and the hosting family doesn't say Grace before eating.

Would you have your family pray and invite the others to join in?
Have each member of your family pray in silence?
Follow their lead and not pray before eating?
Or in anticipation of being in this situation, have the family pray together before going to other family's home?


I have yet to be in this situation, but I can already see it happening in the very near future...my group of friends tend to do a lot of getting together of the families during the holiday season and very few of these families pray before meals, if at all. And while I don't have an issue with praying in public (eating at a restaurant, etc), or praying at our table with folks that don't pray, I'm unsure of how to handle the above situation.

Thanks in advance for your insight.

[MissyP89]

I tend to follow the lead of the hosting family, if I am a guest.

With non-Catholic friends, I'll bless myself and pray silently.

[brianthephysicist]

I believe it is perfectly reasonable to bless yourself and pray silently, even if you are a guest in someone's home.

[penguin31]

Typically, in the past, I've blessed myself and said a silent prayer. Here's the dilemma I've racked over in my head on a few occasions: Why say the prayer silently? Because you're afraid of their reaction? Is it right to hide your devotion simply because it might make another uncomfortable by offering your thanks publicly? Like I said, I'm guilty of the same thing myself, but it's food for thought.

[MissyP89]

I guess the question to ask would be [i]why [/i]you're saying it aloud. I'm not against it at all (though I don't think I'd do it aloud as a guest), but I do think motivation is extremely important to consider.

[quote=Matthew 6]“When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you. In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words."[/quote]

Again, not arguing, just offering food for thought here.

Edited December 13, 2011 by MissyP89

[Papist]

If they were close friends, I would ask if they wouldn't mind if I said a blessing. And then I'd make it short.
If not close friends, I'd simply cross myself and quietly say my blessing. And then I quietly instruct my children to do the same,

[GeorgiiMichael]

A silent prayer before a meal at another's house is probably the best course of action. Or none at all. It's one thing to pray at a restaurant with your family, it's another to do that while being the guest at another's house. Prayer is always a good thing, but sometimes it is more prudent to not pray quite as visibly. You'll do more for the conversion of souls by being a good example in other ways than by potentially appearing rude by praying aloud as a guest.

/2cents

[Lil Red]

my family prays together, quietly. i believe it's important to teach my children consistency.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1323754573' post='2350221']
I guess the question to ask would be [i]why [/i]you're saying it aloud. I'm not against it at all (though I don't think I'd do it aloud as a guest), but I do think motivation is extremely important to consider.

Again, not arguing, just offering food for thought here.[/quote]
in actuality, the Pharisees prayed on the street corner so they could be [b]seen & praised for[/b] praying. we pray together as a family before meals to praise and thank God for the blessing of our food - which happens regardless of where or when we are eating. we don't pray before meals to be 'praised' or 'congratulated' or even to be scorned.

[MissyP89]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1323759044' post='2350246']
in actuality, the Pharisees prayed on the street corner so they could be [b]seen & praised for[/b] praying. we pray together as a family before meals to praise and thank God for the blessing of our food - which happens regardless of where or when we are eating. we don't pray before meals to be 'praised' or 'congratulated' or even to be scorned.
[/quote]

*nods* These are good points, and I especially appreciate what you said about consistency with your kids. (I don't say this enough -- thank you for the effort you put in.<3)

What I'm pointing out is the possibility that some may pray [i]because [/i]they want to be seen. This would be incorrect, of course.

In certain circumstances as Papist points out, praying openly would almost do more harm than good. Prudence is always necessary.

[GeorgiiMichael]

It's less about the actual intent of the prayer, and more about the perceived intent of the prayer. Many times people will think you have a "holier-than-thou" complex, and this will lead them further from the Church, as opposed to closer to it. That's really the problem that I think DMcB is having.

But, I like what you say about consistency, Lil Red, that's really important, and something that I didn't get nearly enough of as a child.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1323759648' post='2350253']

*nods* These are good points, and I especially appreciate what you said about consistency with your kids. (I don't say this enough -- thank you for the effort you put in.<3)

What I'm pointing out is the possibility that some may pray [i]because [/i]they want to be seen. This would be incorrect, of course.

In certain circumstances as Papist points out, praying openly would almost do more harm than good. Prudence is always necessary.
[/quote]

of course. and when i am by myself, I pray quietly (not silently) before eating.

[AccountDeleted]

Like Red, I make the sign of the Cross and then pray quietly before every meal, even when at a restaurant or with non-Catholics or any time. Yesterday I had lunch with two wonderful Catholic women from my former parish, at a cafe in our little country town. When our meals came, they started to pick up their utensils, so I bowed my head and made the sign of the Cross. I didn't know what their routine was but I wanted to give thanks. As I was doing this, before I even started to pray, one of them said, oh yes, I think they realised that they had forgotten, and started to pray quietly as well. I think it is important to do this if it is something that is real and sincere from us, not as an act or show of piety. I could tell that they simply forgot (we all do sometimes) and were glad that I reminded them.


PS - my family know I do this and just usually stay quiet while I do. My sister even told me that she is glad because she likes to take a moment to slow down before eating and she sometimes forgets, so when I pray, it reminds her.

Edited December 13, 2011 by nunsense

[Basilisa Marie]

I think it really depends on knowing the host family. Do they know your family is Catholic? Are they Christian? Religious? Anti-Religious? How well do you know them? Are you trying to set an example for smaller kids in the family, or is everyone older? If it were me and part of the issue was teaching kids to pray before meals, I'd probably ask my host if it'd be alright if my family said a quick prayer before we ate, and then smile and pass the potatoes to them after. I can't imagine many people objecting. Even better, if you can get your host aside before everyone sits down and ask. But if everyone in my family was a bit older, I'd privately tell them to make sure they silently pray over their meal, unless I knew the family we were with was a "praying" kind, and just didn't always pray before meals.

[Papist]

Now that I think about it, the best option is to bring your 5 year old. He will certainly blurt out, "Hey, we need to say blessing!". My dad has told me that he has said meal blessing more this year alone than the past 20.

Seriously though, just by crossing yourself may light a tiny spark. And who knows, your host may be refraining from blessing on your account. As you can see, it is not a one size fits all.

Edited December 13, 2011 by Papist