Ask Sister Marie

[savvy]

[quote]yeah eyebrows..... [/quote]

Okay, maybe this is not an appropriate question to ask.

[Feankie]

I don't really think eyebrows are a concern of sisters/nuns. How about getting back to the serious stuff, ladies (and gentlemen).

[i<3franciscans]

[quote name='Francis Clare' timestamp='1323884605' post='2351218']
I don't really think eyebrows are a concern of sisters/nuns. How about getting back to the serious stuff, ladies (and gentlemen).
[/quote]

[MarieLynn]

[quote name='Francis Clare' timestamp='1323884605' post='2351218']
I don't really think eyebrows are a concern of sisters/nuns. How about getting back to the serious stuff, ladies (and gentlemen).
[/quote]

I couldn't agree more!

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='savvy' timestamp='1323834500' post='2350941']

Your response was very helpful. Thank You.

Another question, I have is that because of the vows of poverty, can you do personal things for yourself, like eye-brows etc?
[/quote]


[quote name='Francis Clare' timestamp='1323884605' post='2351218']
I don't really think eyebrows are a concern of sisters/nuns. How about getting back to the serious stuff, ladies (and gentlemen).
[/quote]

Actually, the eyebrow question does bring up something important, at least for active religious. When you are a religious working in a professional setting - for instance, as a teacher - you have people paying for an education for their child and appearances do matter. Just as if you went to visit your child's school and the teacher was wearing sweatpants, if you went into my classroom you would expect me to look appropriate. Appropriate changes from culture to culture and in American culture it most often includes personal grooming like eyebrows. Now, I have light hair so my eyebrows look fine but I know some sisters with much darker hair who, not out of vanity but out of professionalism, take care of that hair! Again, this isn't for all sisters, but for sisters in an active apostolate that is professional such as education and nursing, this type of personal care is important. Of course, I'm not talking about having the most perfectly arched eyebrows in town... but you probably don't want to have a beastly unibrow either.

[i<3franciscans]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1323906298' post='2351396']




Actually, the eyebrow question does bring up something important, at least for active religious. When you are a religious working in a professional setting - for instance, as a teacher - you have people paying for an education for their child and appearances do matter. Just as if you went to visit your child's school and the teacher was wearing sweatpants, if you went into my classroom you would expect me to look appropriate. Appropriate changes from culture to culture and in American culture it most often includes personal grooming like eyebrows. Now, I have light hair so my eyebrows look fine but I know some sisters with much darker hair who, not out of vanity but out of professionalism, take care of that hair! Again, this isn't for all sisters, but for sisters in an active apostolate that is professional such as education and nursing, this type of personal care is important. Of course, I'm not talking about having the most perfectly arched eyebrows in town... but you probably don't want to have a beastly unibrow either.
[/quote]
Wow! I never thought of that!

[savvy]

[quote]Wow! I never thought of that! [/quote]

I have been on retreats, where the question about personal grooming does come up a lot.

[Lil'Monster]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1323906298' post='2351396']




Actually, the eyebrow question does bring up something important, at least for active religious. When you are a religious working in a professional setting - for instance, as a teacher - you have people paying for an education for their child and appearances do matter. Just as if you went to visit your child's school and the teacher was wearing sweatpants, if you went into my classroom you would expect me to look appropriate. Appropriate changes from culture to culture and in American culture it most often includes personal grooming like eyebrows. Now, I have light hair so my eyebrows look fine but I know some sisters with much darker hair who, not out of vanity but out of professionalism, take care of that hair! Again, this isn't for all sisters, but for sisters in an active apostolate that is professional such as education and nursing, this type of personal care is important. Of course, I'm not talking about having the most perfectly arched eyebrows in town... but you probably don't want to have a beastly unibrow either.
[/quote]


Yeah...I dont want a beastly unibrow.....I only had my eyebrows done once but I dont allow anyone to do except for my friend. Well my eyebrows need to be plucked and they are getting long. Actually a few weeks ago I had a inch hair on my eyebrow......I hate my eyebrows they are sooo hairy! Acourse I pulled it out but it hurts a little bit. I dont have light hair..I have dair hair....dont let my profile pic to fool you because my hair is actually getting darker....


unibrows arent fun at all...I hope I dont get one...my eyebrows are screaming "Pluck me, Pluck me!!" No..wait that is just a nightmare!

[Lil'Monster]

Sister Marie,


Am I sensible?

[beatitude]

Sister Marie,

What (if anything) were you most afraid of giving up when you entered the religious life?

Have you ever experienced any feelings of regret since you became a sister?

I know that these questions aren't specific to the religious life - every significant choice comes with its sacrifice - but I would be interested to hear an answer from a religious.

[Sister Marie]

Dear Beatitude,

I think when we enter religious life we are usually afraid to give up concrete things and then once we are there we confront the deeper fears of loss of ideas and perspectives. When I first entered I had those concrete fears of giving up - wearing makeup (I know that sounds vain... and it was, haha), losing my friends, never being able to leave the convent. Then, after I entered, I had to face a lot of fears I didn't really know I had - things like loneliness, insecurity, failure... I think that it is through that experience that I can say that religious life has truly made me into a "whole" person. It forced me to confront many things that I may not have outside of this life.

I never felt regret at becoming a sister - doubt, sadness, struggle - but not regret. Even when things are difficult I do not regret becoming a sister.

[savvy]

Sister,

What are the pros and cons of wearing a habit? Positive reactions, negative ones etc. The habit is optional in the community I want to join, so I am trying to figure out whether I should wear one or not.

Edited December 15, 2011 by savvy

[Sister Marie]

Dear Savvy,

I have a feeling this is going to be an explosive answer, haha. First, the pros - people realize I'm a sister (most of the time... I've also gotten Amish or Muslim), you never have to think about what to wear (you do have to think about whether it is clean or not! lol), it's easy to get dressed in the morning, it helps me remember that I'm a sister and keeps me out of trouble sometimes, haha, and people who need me find me approachable especially in places where they might not expect to see a sister like at the store. It is beautiful to see people really be touched just by being reminded that God is around and He does love them.

The cons are a little more difficult. First a funny one - if you gain weight you have to ask for more habits... and admit you gained weight. Sometimes when out in public people try to touch you. I really don't like to be touched even by people I know so I hate when this happens. It's hot in the summer and can sometimes be uncomfortable depending on the habit and the person. These are all small inconveniences though in light of the pros of wearing a habit.

The last con encompasses a few different things and it is that it changes people's perspectives on you as a human being. Sometimes people are afraid to be honest with you because they feel you are above them as a sister or that you have authority over them when you don't. For instance, in the apostolate I work with other teachers. I have no authority over them but they might feel that they can't disagree with me because I'm a sister. I always try very hard to make sure that the people I work with know that that is not the case. The other thing is that some people have this vision of a sister as an unrealistically simplistic, lowly, praying on their knees, nice all the time kinda brainless woman. I call it "nun doll syndrome." People who view sisters in this way expect them to be like a nun doll; silent, praying, submissive (not in the good sense), faultless, quiet, and as a keeper of the status quo.

Other sisters might have a different views on this but I am certainly not a nun doll. Sisters are meant to be passionate women serving God's people. Sometimes when you are trying to effect change in the world for the better, against sin, there are conflicts and it gets messy. Little nun kneeling in church really doesn't cut it when you have an abused child in front of you. Sometimes we have to stand up for what is right and protect people who cannot protect themselves. And a lot of the time people don't see that side of sisters out-and-out.

Don't get me wrong... I love wearing a habit. I love being a sister. I wish people had a better appreciation of who we are as people though.

[savvy]

Thanks for sharing Sister Marie. I know a sister who told me that she is more comfortable not wearing the habit, because in her ministry with Youth, she is out with them a lot, at restaurants, at game centres, and sometimes drives home late at night. She does not want people to think, "What is this nun doing out at this time or here?"

To tell you the truth I have been afraid of wearing the habit after she said these things. What should I do?

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='she_who_is_not' timestamp='1323833243' post='2350930']
How does your community handle chores/household duties in mission convents? Most of us are used to visiting Motherhouses, where things seem to work like a well-oiled machine. What is like at the smaller convent? Do you have a sister who is responsible for cooking and cleaning or do you divide chores/take turns?
[/quote]

Sorry I missed this one earlier. We do divide all the charges up among ourselves. Obviously, the youngest usually gets the largest and most difficult charges because they are usually more physically able. So one sister might have the kitchen and another the dining room and so on. Cooking is different depending on the house. In my convent we have a cook who comes in and makes dinner 3 nights a week. Usually the sisters hire a cook as a way of giving someone who needs some extra income a chance to earn it. Usually it is someone in the parish or someone the sisters know who is struggling financially. It helps us as well because our schedules are so tight with school.