Totus Tuus Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 (edited) I go through my friends about once a month and take off the ones that I don't see or speak to on a regular basis.That's basically because I'm not comfortable with people I'm not close to having access to my personal life and photos. I don't really feel bad about it when it's someone who doesn't even acknowledge me when I pass them on campus (which is normally the people I de-friend). Then there are people that you meet at a conference or something and I don't think they even notice when they're defriended because we were never really friends anyway. And then I also de-friend people who are just mean or hurtful on Facebook. I hide people that are annoying but that I'm still friends with or talk to on occasion. The only times I've been confronted about it were twice, once when I accidentally deleted someone that I didn't mean to (in one of my Facebook "cleanses") and another that I deleted because I hadn't seen or spoken to her in months and months. She noticed within five minutes that I had removed her, which creeped me out and confirmed me in my decision to delete her.... she was obviously creeping my Facebook page regularly. Edited November 30, 2011 by Totus Tuus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totus Tuus Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 [quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1322656868' post='2342606'] i deleted everybody who wasn't family and those I have never really met in real life from my facebook friends. You just bring up the friends list, and hit the x's... I tried explaining on here why I did that, but apparently, some people were still offended greatly by my doing that... I was a bit surprised, because I didn't really think those people gave a beaver dam.... hahahahhahahahahah iono, i think if you and this woman are as distant as you think y'all are, i don't see how de-friending her will even bother her at all... [/quote] I agree with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1322628362' post='2342522'] how do you de-friend someone when you've just grown apart? I've been friends with this girl since high school, but I haven't seen her in 4 years (or so), though we keep in touch through facebook....though I was invited to her wedding back in September, I couldn't go. I'm godmother to her son. She came into our hometown this past weekend for Thanksgiving, and though she said she'd give me a ring when she got into town, it never happened. We've just grown apart, and we're not as close as we once were, and honestly, I don't see the point in pretending we are. any advice? suggestions? [/quote] Red dearie, just because you haven't seen someone physically doesn't mean you have grown apart, it means you simply haven't had time to catch up on each others lives. Emotional closeness and physical proximity are not the same thing It sounds like you are a bit miffed you didn't hear from her over the holiday. Send her a postcard with a friendly hello, and keep in touch. You do have an obligation to your godson so send him a christmas card as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1322629394' post='2342538'] i understand what you are saying, and yet...they live in your home state...and it's not like I ever get over there. Plus, the situation is complicated. She divorced her kids' dad, and just got remarried, and I think he has a couple of kids. At best, she is nominally Catholic. At worst, she is agnostic. Literally, I have not seen her son since the day of his baptism. I don't even know him. I don't even know her any more, to be honest. I wouldn't even know where to start with her son, to be a godparent. [/quote] Red, Start with prayers. Send him a card and have a mass said for him on the anniversary of his baptism. Through your interactions with him, a spark might light up in your friend. Sounds like your friend is/has going through some bumpy roads. If you had your wishes, would you want this friendship to be rejuvenated? If so, I would call her and discuss how you both can make this happen. You being godmother to her son, you both have a common bond. PS - Don't deprive them of your amesomeness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 I never viewed facebook friends as such a serious topic! Every once in a while I clear out my friend list...and I'm sure the people I de-friend don't even notice. I do not understand why you want to de-friend the person? Is it causing you trouble to have that facebook connection?? If not I would just leave it, especially with the whole godmother thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 i guess i don't mean just on facebook....sorry for the confusion. i wrote her a super long message last night and sent it to her...it took me 2 hours to write. i did include the suggestions on telling her i feel responsible as her son's godmother, but not sure how her and her ex are raising their kids. i think i just needed to clear the air with her, as far as where we stood in terms of our friendship. hopefully this message is a good start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1322674123' post='2342726'] i guess i don't mean just on facebook....sorry for the confusion. i wrote her a super long message last night and sent it to her...it took me 2 hours to write. i did include the suggestions on telling her i feel responsible as her son's godmother, but not sure how her and her ex are raising their kids. i think i just needed to clear the air with her, as far as where we stood in terms of our friendship. hopefully this message is a good start. [/quote] Tells us how ingrained Facebook is in our culture. It's good you reached out to her. God bless you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 [quote name='Totus Tuus' timestamp='1322663723' post='2342675'] I go through my friends about once a month and take off the ones that I don't see or speak to on a regular basis.That's basically because I'm not comfortable with people I'm not close to having access to my personal life and photos. I don't really feel bad about it when it's someone who doesn't even acknowledge me when I pass them on campus (which is normally the people I de-friend). Then there are people that you meet at a conference or something and I don't think they even notice when they're defriended because we were never really friends anyway. And then I also de-friend people who are just mean or hurtful on Facebook. I hide people that are annoying but that I'm still friends with or talk to on occasion. The only times I've been confronted about it were twice, once when I accidentally deleted someone that I didn't mean to (in one of my Facebook "cleanses") and another that I deleted because I hadn't seen or spoken to her in months and months. She noticed within five minutes that I had removed her, which creeped me out and confirmed me in my decision to delete her.... she was obviously creeping my Facebook page regularly. [/quote] I barely ever spend time on Facebook. I only have 16 Facebook friends and they are all people I have met in real life and what to remain in contact with. Most of the time, when I deleted someone, it's because they were acting like a stalker and talking about every little thing I had written (in other places besides Facebook) or we hadn't talked in SO long. I think you should have total control over your friend list. If you don't want someone knowing your business, then they shouldn't interrogate you. That's just my personal opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJon16 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 When a son or daughter moves away, do you dis-own them, just because they have grown up and moved? When a sibling moves away, do you stop calling them "my brother",or "my sister" just because they have moved away and matured in different ways? I wouldn't. I have people who I've "disconnected" with. They have either moved away, or I have lost touch with them because I haven't seen them for a while. But that doesn't mean that I'd "de-friend" them. I never got AudreyGrace a graduation gift, even though I said I would... Sure, I feel bad, but sometimes things like that happen, I guess. I mention this because you mentioned that she said she was going to get you a ring, and then she didn't get you one. You will figure it out, Im sure. If anything, disconnecting with you is her loss, and you shouldn't feel bad. Life goes on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 [quote name='BigJon16' timestamp='1322699699' post='2342936'] When a son or daughter moves away, do you dis-own them, just because they have grown up and moved? When a sibling moves away, do you stop calling them "my brother",or "my sister" just because they have moved away and matured in different ways? I wouldn't. I have people who I've "disconnected" with. They have either moved away, or I have lost touch with them because I haven't seen them for a while. But that doesn't mean that I'd "de-friend" them. I never got AudreyGrace a graduation gift, even though I said I would... Sure, I feel bad, but sometimes things like that happen, I guess. I mention this because you mentioned that she said she was going to get you a ring, and then she didn't get you one. You will figure it out, Im sure. If anything, disconnecting with you is her loss, and you shouldn't feel bad. Life goes on. [/quote] She meant the gal said she'd give Lil Red a ring on the telephone, as in a call when she was in town. She didn't mean an actual ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 [quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1322700358' post='2342939'] She meant the gal said she'd give Lil Red a ring on the telephone, as in a call when she was in town. She didn't mean an actual ring. [/quote] Yeah, I'm not so materialistic as to de-friend someone because they didn't get me a gift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ardillacid Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 There's an app for that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJon16 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 [quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1322700358' post='2342939'] She meant the gal said she'd give Lil Red a ring on the telephone, as in a call when she was in town. She didn't mean an actual ring. [/quote] [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1322701469' post='2342944'] Yeah, I'm not so materialistic as to de-friend someone because they didn't get me a gift. [/quote] Oh... Boy, don't I feel like a jerk now... **Open mouth, insert foot** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Monster Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) [quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1322656868' post='2342606'] i deleted everybody who wasn't family and those I have never really met in real life from my facebook friends. You just bring up the friends list, and hit the x's... I tried explaining on here why I did that, but apparently, some people were still offended greatly by my doing that... I was a bit surprised, because I didn't really think those people gave a beaver dam.... hahahahhahahahahah iono, i think if you and this woman are as distant as you think y'all are, i don't see how de-friending her will even bother her at all... [/quote] I am still grieving over why you unfriended me on facebook Just kidding!!! Still love you though Edited December 1, 2011 by Lil'Monster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I would never befriend someone because no matter what anybody's situation is in life, I am probably the best person to come to for advice. I would never deprive anybody of that privilege. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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