No More Masturbating For Delivery

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Brother Adam' timestamp='1322445897' post='2341390']

I'm not impressed by your sister with no religion. What was she appalled by? That someone is masturbating and admitted it? Or that someone wants to stop? What makes this sin more offensive than say, pre-marital sex or alcoholism? If someone came here and said they were struggling with being suicidal, or had problems drinking, or was stealing from their friends, would we tell them to shut up about it? We do have somewhat of a different reaction to THIS sin, don't we. Perhaps because of how much more prevalent it is and it makes us blush, and how deeply ashamed we are, interior, for what we have done (most of us have done or are still addicted to). It's a reminder, when someone fesses up, how broken we truly are. Perhaps we don't want to be reminded because that 'meme' is very close to the truth, but that doesn't make us any less hellbound if "everyone is doing it". Yes, if you masturbate, and you are culpable, and you die without sacramental absolution or perfect contrition, you will go to hell. At root, it still attacks the family, and at root, sins of the flesh are a big reason for the coming collapse of Western civilization. No sin is truly private. It affects the body of Christ.
[/quote]


Well, I wasn't trying to 'impress' you with my sister's reaction. She just made me think about things a little differently I guess, and because she is of no religion, I wondered at my own acceptance of this topic when she found it too explicit. I guess what she was saying was that it just seemed inappropriate to need to declare this particular act in public. I get your point that as a sin it isn't worse than pre-marital sex (not sure about alcoholism if it is a chemical imbalance then it might not be totally in one's control, not sure about that one personally, need to think more on it) or any other mortal sin. Being an agnostic, she doesn't necessarily understand the concept of sin in the first place really. I think she was responding more to the personal nature of the act, and she would also find it hard to hear about someone's bathroom habits or how many times they picked their nose today as well. Some things are personal things perhaps. Just as some people are offended by movies, pictures etc with 'adult content', perhaps she felt this content was a little too personal to post on an Internet forum - but then she doesn't read here (she hasn't read his post) and she doesn't frequent Internet forums much in general so when we discussed this topic (and our conversation wasn't focused on this particular incident really, it just came up in our general conversation about the Internet) I was a little surprised at my own responses and felt a need to consider them more.

Yes, topics of a sexual nature are different than many others. But then I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. Over the years our society has become pretty insensitive to such things until now there seem to be very few boundaries, and discussion of any and every sexual topic is supposed to be acceptable. But I'm not sure I would comfortable discussing this topic with either Our Lord or Our Lady, so maybe there are boundaries that need to be maintained.

Yes, mortal sin is mortal sin, and it is all bad. But that doesn't mean that we need to proclaim our every mortal sin in public (and the Internet is public). I was just suggesting, that after all the previous discussions about this particular weakness, perhaps it is now time for DB to work out this particular sin between himself and God, through his priest.

I am probably in the minority here, and that's fine. I have been one of the ones responding quite frequently to DB on another thread, and I am certainly happy for his efforts and will continue to pray for him. But that doesn't mean that I don't see the point my sister was trying to make too. Maybe, just maybe, as humans we can sometimes be a little too self-disclosing. But then again... I may disagree with what another person says but I will defend to the death etc etc etc....

[MissScripture]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1322447681' post='2341407']


Well, I wasn't trying to 'impress' you with my sister's reaction. She just made me think about things a little differently I guess, and because she is of no religion, I wondered at my own acceptance of this topic when she found it too explicit. I guess what she was saying was that it just seemed inappropriate to need to declare this particular act in public. I get your point that as a sin it isn't worse than pre-marital sex (not sure about alcoholism if it is a chemical imbalance then it might not be totally in one's control, not sure about that one personally, need to think more on it) or any other mortal sin. Being an agnostic, she doesn't necessarily understand the concept of sin in the first place really. I think she was responding more to the personal nature of the act, and she would also find it hard to hear about someone's bathroom habits or how many times they picked their nose today as well. Some things are personal things perhaps. Just as some people are offended by movies, pictures etc with 'adult content', perhaps she felt this content was a little too personal to post on an Internet forum - but then she doesn't read here (she hasn't read his post) and she doesn't frequent Internet forums much in general so when we discussed this topic (and our conversation wasn't focused on this particular incident really, it just came up in our general conversation about the Internet) I was a little surprised at my own responses and felt a need to consider them more.

Yes, topics of a sexual nature are different than many others. But then I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. Over the years our society has become pretty insensitive to such things until now there seem to be very few boundaries, and discussion of any and every sexual topic is supposed to be acceptable. But I'm not sure I would comfortable discussing this topic with either Our Lord or Our Lady, so maybe there are boundaries that need to be maintained.

Yes, mortal sin is mortal sin, and it is all bad. But that doesn't mean that we need to proclaim our every mortal sin in public (and the Internet is public). I was just suggesting, that after all the previous discussions about this particular weakness, perhaps it is now time for DB to work out this particular sin between himself and God, through his priest.

I am probably in the minority here, and that's fine. I have been one of the ones responding quite frequently to DB on another thread, and I am certainly happy for his efforts and will continue to pray for him. But that doesn't mean that I don't see the point my sister was trying to make too. Maybe, just maybe, as humans we can sometimes be a little too self-disclosing. But then again... I may disagree with what another person says but I will defend to the death etc etc etc....
[/quote]
I think the surprise would probably come from her not frequenting internet forums in general, because I have seen people discussing things that are just as personal quite freely on other (non-religious) forums I have looked at.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1322448377' post='2341411']
I think the surprise would probably come from her not frequenting internet forums in general, because I have seen people discussing things that are just as personal quite freely on other (non-religious) forums I have looked at.
[/quote]

That's my point. Her aversion to reading such things made me wonder if perhaps I have become insensitive to discussing this kind of thing myself. If no one else has a problem with it, that's fine though. It was just a comment - not meant to incite anyone!

[brianthephysicist]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' timestamp='1322212231' post='2340301']
3 days in...goal is 3 weeks...I bodybuild and actually read some studies that testosterone is raised and stays elevated the longer one goes without having sex...more testosterone = more muscle....anyways if I make it 3 weeks I'll post it in this thread and I don't I'll post that also...peaceeee....
[/quote]

That's wonderful news. I'm so glad to hear that you're quitting.

I pray that God grants you the graces of strength and determination of will to overcome this.

[Jaime]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1322449598' post='2341421']

That's my point. Her aversion to reading such things made me wonder if perhaps I have become insensitive to discussing this kind of thing myself. If no one else has a problem with it, that's fine though. It was just a comment - not meant to incite anyone!
[/quote]

I can see Adam's point but I also think that this is a site visited by a lot of younger folk. On one hand we should talk about sin openly, on the other hand there are more tactful ways of saying things. I guess I'm really pulled in a lot of directions on this one.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='jaime' timestamp='1322453376' post='2341452']

I can see Adam's point but I also think that this is a site visited by a lot of younger folk. On one hand we should talk about sin openly, on the other hand there are more tactful ways of saying things. I guess I'm really pulled in a lot of directions on this one.
[/quote]


Me too. Maybe we need to have a protected forum for these kinds of topics? We have them for alcohol and for raising kids, so maybe it would be good if someone needs to discuss a sin of an 'adult nature' on this forum, it should be in a thread like those. Just an idea. I nearly avoided reading this thread because of the title (yes, I am one of those prudes who find some topics a little difficult to talk about) but I had been discussing this with DB on another thread and just felt that he needed some encouragement and prayers, but it is a very adult topic and it might be better with the other adult topics. Not my call though.

[Adrestia]

Most people that I encounter either hide their sexual sins or pretend that they aren't a big deal. I'm proud of DB for holding himself publicly accountable. I hope that his example encourages others to confront their demons in whatever manner they find acceptable.

Personally, I don't like the idea of a special area for threads about "adult" sins; maybe a special "adult" tag could do the trick.

[sixpence]

it is an "adult" topic.... but very young kids have these same problems...it would be a shame to "shield" them from something helpful

[arfink]

[quote name='sixpence' timestamp='1322454480' post='2341471']
it is an "adult" topic.... but very young kids have these same problems...it would be a shame to "shield" them from something helpful
[/quote]

I'd just like to comment that when I was quite young I was one of those young kids already struggling with this sin. He's not getting into gory details, just being honest. Bravo DeliveryBoy!

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='sixpence' timestamp='1322454480' post='2341471']
it is an "adult" topic.... but very young kids have these same problems...it would be a shame to "shield" them from something helpful
[/quote]


"very young kids" should be getting help about this topic from their parents, not an internet forum. Maybe I don't know what age range you are meaning here though.

[MissyP89]

[quote name='jaime' timestamp='1322453376' post='2341452']

I can see Adam's point but I also think that this is a site visited by a lot of younger folk. On one hand we should talk about sin openly, on the other hand there are more tactful ways of saying things. I guess I'm really pulled in a lot of directions on this one.
[/quote]

This. I am 100% in favor of public confessions like this -- I think they're beautiful, and do so much for bringing darkness into light. BUT I think prudence is necessary in everything, too. May have been better suited for the 18+ phorum.

As to the OP: Delivery Boy, God bless you. You are NOT alone in this fight, I promise you. Come up with a plan of what you'll do when you're tempted -- think of every situation you might be in and think of a way out. And definitely don't give up at 3 weeks! It may take longer to settle down. Be patient and hang in there.

[sixpence]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1322455196' post='2341477']


"very young kids" should be getting help about this topic from their parents, not an internet forum. Maybe I don't know what age range you are meaning here though.
[/quote]

yes they should.... but they probably won't.... what normal kid would EVER talk to their parents about this kind of problem? and I mean as young as 11 or 12 ish

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1322439776' post='2341322']


When I mentioned this thread to my sister (no religion) she was appalled that someone would even post such a thing on the Internet. I hadn't thought about it that way but really, it probably is way too much information. Despite the fact that we are all praying for you DB - maybe keeping your sins to youself and your priest might be a more appropriate way to handle your problem?? Just a thought.
[/quote]

I think it depends on the person. With a sin this difficult to overcome, having accountability - even if it's public - might be a good idea. I don't think there's anything immoral about sharing it publicly as far as causing scandal. I could be wrong about that, but at this point in my life it seems to me that coming out into the open with our faults takes such humility that to go back into that fault is going to be more shameful and therefore there's more motivation not to.

[arfink]

I am not particularly opposed to the location of this post on the open forum, but if you guys want such things relegated to the 18+ forum then please change the name from "Raising Small Humans" to something else, otherwise it just sounds like all you'll talk about is NFP.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='sixpence' timestamp='1322455513' post='2341486']

yes they should.... but they probably won't.... what normal kid would EVER talk to their parents about this kind of problem? and I mean as young as 11 or 12 ish
[/quote]


Well, I guess that depends on the parents. I know I spoke with my mother about it, and I also had talks with my daughter about it when I was a parent, but I do understand that not everyone has such a trusting relationship with their parents. Perhaps a priest then or doctor would be better (preferably Catholic doctor)? I know that kids talk to each other too, but for moral guidance it would be better if kids could get some solid instruction from someone they can trust (and someone who follows Catholic teaching). An ideal of course.