GodsGrace Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 ok, do you think people our age can be totally in love? I'm 18 & I don' know how to deal with the fact that my ex b/f is the love of my life. I can't find the way to tell him. He has confessed that he totally ignores me b/c he doesn't want to get to this conversation about love and everything. But he flirts, tells me (like if I say I can't be with him ever), he said change that sentence to a positive one using can, & then finish it. So it would be I can be with you any more...well forget the any more...& it's like Oh My goodness, you're telling me I have a chance with you!!! WOW & then my heart runs in circles & totally makes it self dizzy. He knows that I like him more than anything, but we've always agreed not to say that 3 letter word. He always tells me " What is this date to you- aug-15?" That's the day he leaves for college. He's going to Alabama to Spring Hill college & I'm still here in Tampa, Fl. AHHH I'M SOOO CONFUSED! I told him that I just wanted to spend the small time he had here, together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyful Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 First of all I should say I have no clue how it will turn out for you, but this is my experience. I was totally in love my senior year, (so yes, it can happen) but I wish more than anything that I hadn't been. I've change so much in just one year of college. It makes me so sad that my heart still has a hard time letting go of someone who never deserved me. I'm also sad because my first love was someone I'd never even consider being with now. Just falling in love with someone takes a piece of you that you can't get back even after the loves not there anymore. I know this may be super hard to hear, but this guy doesn't seem to deserve you and I'm just so afraid you might end up feeling the same way I do now. Ok well I don't know if that made sense or if it really pertained to you, but, like I said, that's my experience. Best of Luck!!!! Joy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 (edited) well, lets see....Dr. Little Flower can solve any problems you like....except for boys! lol. nah, i'm just kidding....as for your question can 18 yrs old be in love...i would have to say...No...at least not really..or not in the right sense of being in love.... now, let me explain...(lets see if i can do this correctly) at this age and at any age, (I'm also 18), i have to say we think more with our hearts than we do our heads...meaning we go for and look for the emotional sides of things when really that is not all that matters. you say you get dizzy or excited cuz of what he says, etc. i've gone thru that when i feell sooo "top of the world" feeling thinking, "hey i love this guy, he makes me feel this way, etc" when really we aren't in love, (love is a deep word, it is a verb, meaning action to it!) we infatuated and we get misguided at times and go by that. when this has happen to me, i give a couple of months, and that infatuation that i thought meant soo much.....was really nothing....so we have to be careful about what we're looking for....the reall thing called love, or rushed feelings, lightheadness is that are all "fool's gold"? and at a young age, you have to be careful becuze both can look and feel identical...that is when you pray about all this true love and prayer for God's Will to be done...many times if its "meant to be" it wil happen but we have to leave up to God to do the matchmatching, not ourselves. i think in this case your separation is a good thing, because absence makes the heart grow fonder right? or sometimes even opposite! this time can prove to one another that hey we do love each other or it can be that it prove opposite...GodsGrace, play it safe, and see this time as a blessing, who knows what the future holds? maybe you both need time? or it sounds like HE needs time if he can get too serious about the subject ,but thats when you ask St. raphael to help you, to guide you. also, lets say you do love this guy? love is a VERY strong word and the only way to grasp the meaning of it, is to look and pray and look at the image of a crucifix....Jesus on the cross is the ultimate proof and definition of love. it shows true love not through 'sweet nothings", flirting or charms but through actions! what have that certain boy/girl done to bring you closer to Christ? have you become a better or worse person when your with them? do they also have the same faith and morals and teachings as you do? dating is about dumping and breaking up, thats why i don't play it, but thats the game and unless your wlling to play that game, then you will be dealing with those cards. dating is really trying to find that person who God has for you for your future husband/wife. so one should always be looking at the view that point...myself, i plan to place it all in God's hands, yes, i can't wait to have a boyfriend! but i know that i'll meet my Mr. Right when God says so, not me. Its real easy to focus and worry about boys, but i'm personally past that, my friends think i'm weird but i tell them "why spend time on the losers when i can have my winner (your future husband)in the end?", a little harsh i know but ppl don't know what the meaning of dating and love is anymore these days (im' sure you know what i mean right?) , i want to get my education, be come a teacher and make something out of myself so that when God Does allow me to know, and mr. right walking into my life i will be financially and spiritually ready to start a catholic family with the one who God made for me...everything you do is right now preparing you for your future husband, make sure your doing it right...thats why its soo importantly to say pure, and chaste because God does have a plan for each of us, but we have to be able and worthy to answer that call..... there are many differnt meanings of love, but only one comes from God..... Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud or rude. Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. Love is always supportive, loyaal, hopeful and trusting. LOVE NEVER FAILS! -1 Corinthians 13.4-7 :wub::wub::wub: Edited July 5, 2003 by littleflower+JMJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyful Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 JMJ~ I totally see where you're coming from and that makes sense. Good advice! Joy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 (edited) thanks joy! and i'm soo glad your here with us! you go girl! you've made my day by being here! thanks for all your input into this section! i really do appreciate it... God bLess! +JMJ Edited July 5, 2003 by littleflower+JMJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsThespianChic Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 Man, littleflower....you're good!! I'm just gonna come to you for advice from now on, instead of GodsGrace or BlueRose (My 2 best friends in the world!!!) j/k! But you really know what you're talking about and thanks for that bit...even if it was meant for GodsGrace!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 thanks...yeah, my friends always come to me, but they sometimes hesitate though, cuz they know i'm gonna tell the truth...no frosting or ribbons on the truth for me...you knw what i mean? hey, i just got back from watching finding nemo...its such a cute movie! i loved it! but boy am i sleepy...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsThespianChic Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 I like the no-fluff, no-frosting covered advice...it's the best kind...and sometimes, the best advice come from people who are totally outside the situation so that they don't have a personal bias! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsGrace Posted July 7, 2003 Author Share Posted July 7, 2003 WOW you guys that's amesome...+JMJ that's great advice.....even though I hear it all the time from my mom! LOL! Here's some answers for ya! "have you become a better or worse person when your with them?" yes, when we're together or when he talks to me (like when we were dating, it was soo amesome it's like wow I've never been so faithful and so caring about people in my life! "do they also have the same faith and morals and teachings as you do?" you betch'ya! We're both catholic, infact that's how we met. He's a great guy....we both play for our 10:30 children's mass & it's kinda like ok well we're together ALL the time...& sometimes it smells of elderberries b/c I just want to scream "I Love YOU" on the top of my lungs in the middle of a crowded to standing on a table...!! But ya know it's soo true that God is going to give us Mr. Right & I know I have to stop looking for him it's just...ahh I'm such a romantic nerd!....I like look for things that guys should be telling me. Like my last b/f, my very frist love...(well puppy love!!) well he said the's 5 words that my best friend (BlueRose) & I HAD to hear from a guy or else it was like...YOU STINK! & when he said it, I was a puddle of mush in the middle of our spanish class!.......After we got in a HUGE fight about love, he said this......"Amanda, let me be your hero. Let me love you. I know how hard it is for you to fully love someone b/c of your past, but I promise that I'll always love you no matter what" Yea well so much for that!...lol a month later he broke up with me, then 2 days after he broke up with me, he was going out with this one girl...& they're still going out, a year & 1 month later! But ya know it's soooo hard! AHHH & I hate it b/c in my life I've been betrayed & kicked around by guys that now it's time to make up for that, it's time for affection! But I know tp stay chaste, I mean I even look for Catholic guys so that I don't have to get in fights about religion when we have kids...b/c I want (brace yourself!!) 10 kids....& I want them to all be catholic!. I also want to retire at the age of 25 but ya know RIGHT how's that gonna happen, I'll still be in school! Anyways, thanks for the GREAT advice....it sure will come in handy when we have this VERY long awaited "talk" of ours! Love ya all..... BTW thanks GTC.....you're a real friend...j/k! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsThespianChic Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 You know I love you GodsGrace!! You also know that I will be there to make sure you're okay if the "talk" of yours doesn't turn out the way you want it. You also know that I will put up with the non-stop talk of Bradley, Bradley, Bradley...jeez, I feel like I'm talking about Marsha! Bradley, Bradley, Bradley! LOL! But you know I'm always gonna be here for you no matter what and I will always end up calling you as soon as something big happens and let you know what's going on and ask you for advice!! I'm just gonna ask +JMJ too...lol...naw, but my point is, GodsGrace.... YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND AND I LOVE YOU!!! Got it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TempleofVesarius Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 I dont think there is a problem with falling in love at this age as long as you are mature enough to handle it...the hard part is finding someone you fall in love with who is also mature enough also. I could tell you some stories about falling in love... but you can read about them in my songs...they make more sense that way sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsGrace Posted July 8, 2003 Author Share Posted July 8, 2003 true Temple, I know how ya feel on that one...I mean I write poems & songs...they're just more explained that way... GTC I KNOW I LOVE YOU TOO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TempleofVesarius Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 Ok...I have something I need to get off my chest... Its a long story so I hope you can bear with me There is this girl...lol...most of my stories start this way...well we never even talked all through highschool. But then we both got involved in a group called The Mystery Players at my school. We went around the local area and even traveled as far as Boston to do plays on Christs birth and Passion during Advent and Lent. Well, we still didnt ever speak untill we were paired up to be Joseph and Mary during one of the Advent plays. After that we felt really connected to eachother, and we started talking alot. At this point she had been in a relationship with a guy who, for lack of a better word that I can use on here without getting kicked off, is just a jerk. She had been with him for three years and they had been sexually active. I knew she deserved better, and started trying to show her that this guy was only hurting her. I didnt even intend for her to be with me, but things started to work out that way. We had some diffaculties to get through because I had promised an ex-girlfriend of mine who moved away to Colorado that I would fly her back to go to prom with me, and I always keep my promises. After prom was all over and April, the Colorado girl left, Ashley told me she broke all ties with her ex and that we could finally be together. I knew he still called her but I trusted her and had faith in her. At this point I KNEW I loved her. Things went very well for a while. But then I got this feeling, I can only describe it as fear. I knew something was wrong but I couldnt stop having faith in her, and I couldnt stop trusting her. Untill... We both participated in an all night walk to benefit cancer surviors. After we made our last schedualed walk at 4 am, I went to sleep in a tent and she went to sleep in her car. When I awoke at 7 am I went over to her car to say "good morning I love you"...she was sitting in the backseat with her ex boyfriend. Seeing that just killed me. I tried to get her to explain things to me but she just got in her car and drove away. I later found out that she had still been telling this guy she loved him, the had still been spending time together, and, she denies it, but according to him they had still been sexually active. Hearing that made me so glad that I had not been sexually active with her...because at that point I prolly would have killed myself. Great way to start a day eh? Well, I was sick for a week. I couldnt eat anything without throwing it up, and I didnt even want to get out of bed in the morning. I started drinking a lot cause it made me forget about it all, and I was drunk every night for about 3 weeks. During this time I met the girl I am with now, Heather. Now Heather is an amazing funny girl, and getting to know her has opened my eyes a lot to just what type of girl Ashley was. Heather used to live up here, but then had some family problems and moved down to Georgia with her father. She leaves to go back to Georgia on the 15th of this month. I dont want y'all to think she is just a rebound girl...because I had to rebound before I broke up with Ashley or I never would have been able to do it. I had to get her out of my head before I could get her out of my life. So do I think we can be in love at this age?...Yes I know it...I wouldnt have been the mess I was if I didnt really love Ashley. But then again, I didnt really love Ashley...I loved "Ashley"...the person she pretended to be... So my advice...JUST BE HONEST ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AND YOU WONT HAVE PROBLEMS...its a lot easier even if it seems harder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsGrace Posted July 8, 2003 Author Share Posted July 8, 2003 WOW!~! ToV that was a great story...i'll admit I almost needed the tissues at one point! But thank you soooo much for sharing. But just for everyone's information (b/c it seems like all I get is DON'T HAVE SEX!) yea well.....I DON'T!! I'm still a happy happy virgin. I mean carp, I'm probably the president!lol~! anyways...it just seems like all the adults say that I'm too young...but I know I'm not. I mean it's sooo weird how to explain things to my parents, & even aunts/uncles, oldercousins, I mean I could go ON! b/c my family is sooo big, I knowI can count on a lot of ppl. but I still can't tell them things like that. I don't know....I mean it's not like I want to have sex with him or anything...I mean even if I did, he wouldn't do it b/c he's such a great catholic guy. I mean granted he DOES need to watch his mouth, but other than that & his extreme use of sarcasm!! He's an amesome guy. He'll try to help anyone that needs it...& he'll talk to anyone who needs to be talked to & he's just got this passion for God that's unbelieveable. I think that's what draws me to him is that he's just a passionate guy. OK GTC & BlueRose, you're probably thinking, he is?! Well yea he is. I mean, you guys haven't talked to him at all hours of the morning like I have!....anyways..thanks guys for the advie, it's great & I'll keep you guys posted on whats up with him. We're supposed to have our "talk" next week...hehe it's kinda funny....I asked him a while back if he'd go on a dinner date with me & he said no b/c he hadn't been here for 3 weeks & he needed to figure out his schedule for work & blah blah blah....well then I got in a car accident & told him it was off b/c I needed to save money. Well actually that was my way of forgetting about the dinner date! Then I asked him to go see fireworks with me on 4th of July & he was like Ican't b/c I'll be at my brother's girlfriends house in Ft. Lauderdale so I said fine I give up!.. Then he asked me the other night if I talked to him about the dinner date & getting together to talk & I was like ok..noo ...so I asked him again & he was like SURE! I'd love to...so i was like yay!~!lol ok I need to stop using the word like...it gets on my nerves when others do it (I.E. Frank Harrison!~heh BlueRose & GTC!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueRose Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 So, can we be in love at our age? I say yes. But hold on a sec! Love is an amazing and wonderful thing. It is always changing, it has the ability to grow and spread. It changes lives, and minds, and especially hearts. It's something that is different to each person who feels it, and for every person that we feel it about. You love your parents, do you not? But you also love God, right? And isn't that a different kind of feeling of love? Then there's your friends. I know I love my friends, and God, and my family, but for each person it feels slightly different. My family I love almost unconditionally. My friends, sometimes it takes a bit of effort (no offence or anything). And at times it's hard to love God, because we've never "met"; the love there is based upon lots of Faith. So you see? I don't doubt that an 18 year old, or a 17 year old, or a 25 year old could be in love. If it is true in their hearts, then it must be true. HOWEVER... just because you're "in love" doesn't mean that you will never fall out of love. And it doesn't mean necessarily that you've found The One. As we mature and learn about life and love, we reach a point where true love becomes a choice. Sometimes it takes an effort to love somebody, right? Don't worry. One thing I tell myself is this: "God knows me better than anyone else in this world - Maybe even more than I know MYSELF! He knows exactly who would make the perfect partner for me, and he will bring us together." Remember that if it's meant to be, everything will fall into place. I hope I helped!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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