Waiting- And The Wonderful Part Of It!

[cmaD2006]

Sometimes the waiting is to allow you to grow. God knows best -- and there are times that He believes that it would be best to help you grow while you wait. THEN you will be better prepared to be a religious.

I know one thing ... if (and that's a big if) I do ever enter another community, my experiences haven't been for naught. And there was a reason for the different twists and turns in my life.

[Sister Marie]

I would really pay attention to what Sister said about seeing yourself as an adult before anything else... not above anything else... but before you add another addition onto "who you are." When I entered the convent I saw myself as an adult but not as a very whole one, if that makes sense. I was still wounded by experiences in my life which kept me from really being the mature woman I "should" have been. That being said, I was very blessed to be in a community that gave me the healing experiences, however painful they were, that have made me identify myself as a woman of God and on top of that layer, as a religious woman. When I look at the whole experience I do believe that it is nothing short of a miracle that God was able to take me where I was and move me to where I am now as a person.

The point is that human growth is a really important foundation for religious growth. If you are not a realistically confident and independent (in the good sense - not necessarily financially or living situation wise either) there won't be a foundation of "nature" upon which God can give His "grace."

I know that this is probably becoming a tired thought around here BUT religious life is very difficult, whether you want to believe it or not. There are days I feel like superman and days I feel like I should be locked away! I rest knowing that my very being is good although flawed and that God is with me through each experience - that makes it NO easier though! Knowing God is with me does not give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside - sometimes it makes whatever difficulty I'm having even more difficult - conflicts with sisters and colleagues, being a persistent and sometimes annoying reminder to families of my children of their duties, being a competent leading professional in my place of ministry... these are all very stressful situations that bring many wins and losses, many graces and fears, many moments of temptation and redemption. They require a lot of human wholeness + religious holiness. You can't have one without the other.

None of us is there but I think Sister's words were very wise and prudent. What a loving insight for her to share for your good as well!

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='Strictlyinkblot' timestamp='1321582886' post='2337681']



I just hope I can enter before I turn 40. Not that there's anything wrong with being 40, I just don't want to wait another five years.
[/quote]

Being a 40 year old I don't know what to hope for anymore? I think all I really want is contentment with knowing that I'm His no matter what, to allow myself to be guided to wherever He wants, and to eventually reach Heaven and hear the words "well done, oh good and faithful servant."

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1321583161' post='2337691']
While I know the waiting purifies your intentions, I am finding it so difficult to do already! I keep praying for Jesus to give me the strength I need to hold on and wait for His perfect timing. I also keep reminding myself that I was not cut off from sending my letter in. They just asked me to wait so I could be absolutely sure -- which, in my case, is a good idea since I was impulsive the last time.

I commend you, Claire, for your honesty and steadfast patience. Keep holding on to that. Even when it gets tough (as it will), just hold on to Jesus.
[/quote]
[quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1321583990' post='2337701']
There are actually wonderful parts of waiting? I suppose that does make a lot of sense though. I'll have to remember that
[/quote]
It is hard, really hard. I don't want to wait five years, and I DEFINITELY don't want to wait 7 years, but if this is what God wants than why would I not want it? V=v

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1321584731' post='2337712']
Sometimes the waiting is to allow you to grow. God knows best -- and there are times that He believes that it would be best to help you grow while you wait. THEN you will be better prepared to be a religious.

I know one thing ... if (and that's a big if) I do ever enter another community, my experiences haven't been for naught. And there was a reason for the different twists and turns in my life.
[/quote]
There are always reasons for the twists and turns that happen in our lives. Great post.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1321584811' post='2337714']
I would really pay attention to what Sister said about seeing yourself as an adult before anything else... not above anything else... but before you add another addition onto "who you are." When I entered the convent I saw myself as an adult but not as a very whole one, if that makes sense. I was still wounded by experiences in my life which kept me from really being the mature woman I "should" have been. That being said, I was very blessed to be in a community that gave me the healing experiences, however painful they were, that have made me identify myself as a woman of God and on top of that layer, as a religious woman. When I look at the whole experience I do believe that it is nothing short of a miracle that God was able to take me where I was and move me to where I am now as a person.

The point is that human growth is a really important foundation for religious growth. If you are not a realistically confident and independent (in the good sense - not necessarily financially or living situation wise either) there won't be a foundation of "nature" upon which God can give His "grace."

I know that this is probably becoming a tired thought around here BUT religious life is very difficult, whether you want to believe it or not. There are days I feel like superman and days I feel like I should be locked away! I rest knowing that my very being is good although flawed and that God is with me through each experience - that makes it NO easier though! Knowing God is with me does not give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside - sometimes it makes whatever difficulty I'm having even more difficult - conflicts with sisters and colleagues, being a persistent and sometimes annoying reminder to families of my children of their duties, being a competent leading professional in my place of ministry... these are all very stressful situations that bring many wins and losses, many graces and fears, many moments of temptation and redemption. They require a lot of human wholeness + religious holiness. You can't have one without the other.

None of us is there but I think Sister's words were very wise and prudent. What a loving insight for her to share for your good as well!
[/quote]
Love this, thank you so much. I do recognize that it is hard, and God's Will is the ONLY thing that can keep someone in a convent (in my case, a cloistered convent), God's Love and Will is what keeps us there, and right now His Love and Will is what is making me try and go the patience route because that's the way HE wants it for me.

[quote name='Strictlyinkblot' timestamp='1321583072' post='2337689']

Sorry, will behave myself in future, honest
[/quote]

[Lil'Monster]

i wont behave at all....im such a bad girl

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1321585573' post='2337733']
i wont behave at all....im such a bad girl
[/quote]
Why does it take me 30 years to find a good emoticon...

[Lil'Monster]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1321585839' post='2337735']
Why does it take me 30 years to find a good emoticon...
[/quote]


it didnt take 30 years..cuz im still 20

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1321586311' post='2337739']


it didnt take 30 years..cuz im still 20
[/quote]
Lol...

[marigold]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1321583161' post='2337691']
While I know the waiting purifies your intentions, I am finding it so difficult to do already! I keep praying for Jesus to give me the strength I need to hold on and wait for His perfect timing. I also keep reminding myself that I was not cut off from sending my letter in. They just asked me to wait so I could be absolutely sure -- which, in my case, is a good idea since I was impulsive the last time.

I commend you, Claire, for your honesty and steadfast patience. Keep holding on to that. Even when it gets tough (as it will), just hold on to Jesus.
[/quote]

Ooh, MM I didn't realise you were able to send the letter already! How long did they say you should wait?

Speaking as someone chronically impulsive and impatient, it was unbelievably difficult to accept that I would have to go home and prepare for a year and a half after I'd lived in at the monastery. MA even asked if there was any way I could just stay on and do the visa business from there, and 97% of me wanted to say yes, but eventually I had to give in to the realistic 3% and tell her I had a job back home, plus a contract on my apartment, plus loans, plus I hadn't told my family... I cried when I left, and tbh spent the first 6 months moping around and feeling sorry for myself for being 'in the desert'. LOL. Buuuut.... much as it pains me to admit it, [i][u]I did need the preparation[/u][/i]. As someone else said recently, you're not necessarily ready just because you want it.

Now I don't know that having to wait makes it 'worth it' - what does that even mean? This past 18 months I haven't 'deepened my prayer life' or 'come to appreciate Jesus' more. I've resented my way through it, making sure everyone knows what a drag and a pain it is. God bless my confessor! But it does force you to grow up and eventually go in with your head screwed on the right way round. FINALLY I'm realising I can enjoy myself right now, and it doesn't mean the monastery isn't going to be waiting for me in the New Year.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's ok to have your head in the clouds as long as your feet are firmly on the ground? As long as we don't start thinking the universe revolves around me and my 'calling' (God knows the brochures and websites and nun movies can be more of a hindrance than a help ), there's nothing wrong with dreaming about a future you want.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='marigold' timestamp='1321624737' post='2337860']

Ooh, MM I didn't realise you were able to send the letter already! How long did they say you should wait?

[/quote]

The Sister I spoke to asked me to wait a few months, but I wrote to Mother and asked her what a good timeline would be. I'm thinking it might be a good idea to wait until after Christmas and I wanted to get her opinion. I would like to apply sooner, but I don't want to be disobedient.

On that note, please offer your prayers. I sent Mother an email on Wednesday and I'm hoping it went through her email server. I had an issue with the Vocation Director's email because I sent her one and she never received it. If I don't hear from her this weekend, I'll send another copy but write "I'm sorry if you already received this, but I think there is something wrong with my email." I did the same on the VD's 2nd email.

[TheresaThoma]

Oh prayers for your email going through! (Also on the subject of waiting and RSMs I finally called the community near me but ended up leaving a VERY awkward voicemail. So now I am waiting to hear back from them.)

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='TheresaThoma' timestamp='1321674005' post='2338145']
Oh prayers for your email going through! (Also on the subject of waiting and RSMs I finally called the community near me but ended up leaving a VERY awkward voicemail. So now I am waiting to hear back from them.)
[/quote]

I'm sure the Sisters are used to hearing awkward callers. It is a very daunting task of calling a religious community on the phone (especially when you've never met them before). I have the Postulant Director's phone number, but I'm afraid to use it.