More On P0Rn

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Totus Tuus' timestamp='1321659865' post='2338057']I was so clear in the fact that I was making a supposition, not stating a fact, though. I am pretty sure (but I'll try to find evidence) that it's biologically factual that mens' brains are more visually stimulated than womens'. I know from your previous posts that you're very defensive about the issue of women and porn, which is why I made the caveat in the first place. I thought that most people were in agreement that the reason why porn was addicting for women was different from why it was addicting for men. I never denied that it was equally addicting... just that it APPEARS (note my reservations!) to be addictive in a different way. (Part of the defense for my statement, by the way, is that although porn is addicting to women it is FAR more addicting for men. At the very least, men are in the majority.)[/quote]

i'm very defensive about the issue? no one else on the boards is passionate about speaking up about this topic? i think anyone is sensitive to issues that they have familiarity with, like being passionate about the defense of the pre-born; or gay marriage; or democrats/republicans stink; or NFP; or 'xyz' issue.

anyway, that little snippy comment of yours aside, of course it seems like men are the majority....from most Christians' perspective, men are the only ones who have a problem with porn, not 'good Christian women'. (I second whomever brought up the blog http://goodwomenproject.com/ )

btw, I truly wasn't trying to make it about you or your post, but challenging the assumption that men are more visually stimulated than women are...because i keep hearing that assumption but no one ever seems to back it up.

here's my totally unsubstantiated belief: i think the gateway into porn is different for women than it is for men.

[Lil Red]

http://goodwomenproject.com/pornography/lessons-from-a-recovering-addict

I think this is a great blogpost that speaks to the addictions that women face.

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1321661891' post='2338063']

i'm very defensive about the issue? no one else on the boards is passionate about speaking up about this topic? [/quote]
Please don't put words in my mouth. Did I need to say, "because you [b]and others[/b] were defensive about the issue" to get my point across without being called out on it?

[quote]i think anyone is sensitive to issues that they have familiarity with, like being passionate about the defense of the pre-born; or gay marriage; or democrats/republicans stink; or NFP; or 'xyz' issue.[/quote]
Umm yeah, including myself, which is why I'm having this conversation in the first place.

[quote]
anyway, that little snippy comment of yours aside, of course it seems like men are the majority....from most Christians' perspective, men are the only ones who have a problem with porn, not 'good Christian women'. (I second whomever brought up the blog [url="http://goodwomenproject.com/"]http://goodwomenproject.com/[/url] )[/quote]
Your interpretation is that it was snippy. It wasn't snippy in my brain when I was typing it. Can you point out which part offended you because I'm genuinely confused by which part of my clarification warranted that.
[quote]
btw, I truly wasn't trying to make it about you or your post, but challenging the assumption that men are more visually stimulated than women are...because i keep hearing that assumption but no one ever seems to back it up.[/quote]
Which is why I tried to back it up.

[quote]]here's my totally unsubstantiated belief: i think the gateway into porn is different for women than it is for men.
[/quote]
Are you agreeing with me here?

Sorry, I really fail to see where I offended you in any way. I can assure you that from my vantage point, I never ill-directed anything towards you and that that was completely your interpretation and not my intention.

[Guest]

Last time I will derail this thread. I just want it to be known I don't think any woman "deserves" to be lusted after. And I do realise there are a lot of broken and lost girls who go in magazines. Even ones like sports illustrated that are more classy. With that said though I think there are many who are full aware of what they are doing and aren't broken and lost and all that. With that said I don't think any of them deserve to be lusted after. All I was saying was its sorta a cause and effect type deal when they hput themselves out there like that. But in noway do I think they deserve it. I don't think I ever really said that but if I implied that I'm sorry. Ok I'm done.

Edited November 19, 2011 by Guest

[Guest]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1321649700' post='2337992']

If THEY don't care, YOU need to care.

If SHE doesn't value herself, YOU should.

You need to rise up and be the better person, always. That's Christianity at the core.

What if someone was saying this stuff about your sister? Is that how you would respond? "Well, she's asking for it."

Give me a break.[/quote] ok I should of defended myself from this before. I just read all the post in order. Nowhere did I say o well she's asking for it or whatever you claimed I said. So you were out of line with that. If I inferred something like that again I'm sorry. Ok peace.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' timestamp='1321646224' post='2337970']
Although if just lusting after women in a sports illustrated swimsuit edition or something like that it doesn't seem as bad.[b] Because they know exactly what they are doing and their asking for it[/b]. I have a hard time feeling guilt there opposed to lusting after female friends or what not.
[/quote]
[quote name='Delivery Boy' timestamp='1321689720' post='2338189']
ok I should of defended myself from this before. I just read all the post in order. Nowhere did I say o well she's asking for it or whatever you claimed I said. So you were out of line with that. If I inferred something like that again I'm sorry. Ok peace.
[/quote]


Thanks for clarifying. Perhaps that is not quite what you meant, but it is indeed what you said.

[Guest]

[quote name='missionseeker' timestamp='1321692640' post='2338192']



Thanks for clarifying. Perhaps that is not quite what you meant, but it is indeed what you said.[/quote] ok thank you for finding that. I am then sincerly sorry. Because that's not how I really feel. Although I did say that. So I was way out of line. Sorry missy and to whoever else I offended in this thread. No woman deserves to be lusted after. Ok goodnight.

[Guest]

I think what I meant was I feel less guilt because they are bringing it on themselves in a way by taking the pictures they do. And when its something like sports illustrated and not some trashy magazine it makes me feel the girls are smart and aren't totally naive to how guys will react to seeing the pictures. Not that the girls posing in trashy mags are naive. But I would venture to say those are the type of girls who are really broken and lost. But anyhow in no way does any woman deserve to be lusted after and I was way out of line for saying that. Prayers for me and I'm fully aware I need them big time. Ok really hope this is the last time I post in here. Sorry again.

Edited November 19, 2011 by Guest

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' timestamp='1321693927' post='2338195']
I think what I meant was I feel less guilt because they are bringing it on themselves in a way by taking the pictures they do. And when its something like sports illustrated and not some trashy magazine it makes me feel the girls are smart and aren't totally naive to how guys will react to seeing the pictures. Not that the girls posing in trashy mags are naive. But I would venture to say those are the type of girls who are really broken and lost. But anyhow in no way does any woman deserve to be lusted after and I was way out of line for saying that. Prayers for me and I'm fully aware I need them big time. Ok really hope this is the last time I post in here. Sorry again.
[/quote]


I think you've hit the nail on the head here deliveryboy. You know that what you are doing is wrong but you don't want to feel guilty about it, so you rationalise and make excuses to justify your behaviour or to make it seem not quite as bad as it is. The fact that you feel guilt is a good thing - it means that you recognise sin. Yes, we all will pray for you in your trials and temptations, but might I also suggest trying to find a Confessor who could help you a bit more? None of us can judge what your priest tells you since he has all the details and we don't, but the fact that you, youself feel guilty, seems to indicate that it is probably more serious than even he understands. Our conscience SHOULD be telling us when we are sinning, and perhaps you rationalise to him so much that he 'lets you off the hook' instead of pulling you up on this matter? I don't know. But since you indicate that you feel guilt, it sounds like the only answer is to throw out all the SI magazines or other printed material and stop buying it under the false illusion that it is better than the 'hard stuff'. At least with the hard stuff, you seem to know it is wrong... with these other 'classy' magazines you are trying to cover up this knowledge - they both lead you to commit the same sin though, don't they?

Many prayers for you

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1321695145' post='2338197']


I think you've hit the nail on the head here deliveryboy. You know that what you are doing is wrong but you don't want to feel guilty about it, so you rationalise and make excuses to justify your behaviour or to make it seem not quite as bad as it is.
[/quote]
This is exactly it. I was going to bring it up earlier but I forgot to do so.

[Guest]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1321695145' post='2338197']


I think you've hit the nail on the head here deliveryboy. You know that what you are doing is wrong but you don't want to feel guilty about it, so you rationalise and make excuses to justify your behaviour or to make it seem not quite as bad as it is. The fact that you feel guilt is a good thing - it means that you recognise sin. Yes, we all will pray for you in your trials and temptations, but might I also suggest trying to find a Confessor who could help you a bit more? None of us can judge what your priest tells you since he has all the details and we don't, but the fact that you, youself feel guilty, seems to indicate that it is probably more serious than even he understands. Our conscience SHOULD be telling us when we are sinning, and perhaps you rationalise to him so much that he 'lets you off the hook' instead of pulling you up on this matter? I don't know. But since you indicate that you feel guilt, it sounds like the only answer is to throw out all the SI magazines or other printed material and stop buying it under the false illusion that it is better than the 'hard stuff'. At least with the hard stuff, you seem to know it is wrong... with these other 'classy' magazines you are trying to cover up this knowledge - they both lead you to commit the same sin though, don't they?

Many prayers for you [/quote] Ya I rationalise a ton. I guess I make it ok in my mind because its just me and I'm not hurting anyone else. And I pat myself on the back to much because I don't go out and have sex. And I don't get detailed when I go to confession. I just say " masturbation 5 times " lol I don't go into detail. Its ackward enough. But I don't know. Anyhow thanks for the reply and Godbless ya.

Edited November 19, 2011 by Guest

[Guest]

I guess I don't understand what a single male is supposed to do with a strong sex drive. I mean if you're not having sex and you're not married that urge is still there. It don't go away. That's why I don't think most guys feel that guilty about it. I don't feel guilty about masturbation. I feel guilty though lusting after a female. But its not as bad if its someone I don't know. And I know that is messed up on my part and wrong. And I know what Jesus said about looking with lust. But Jesus also made me with all this testosterone going through my body so sometimes its like what the heck ? What do you expect from me. lol

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' timestamp='1321697784' post='2338200']
I guess I don't understand what a single male is supposed to do with a strong sex drive. I mean if you're not having sex and you're not married that urge is still there. It don't go away. That's why I don't think most guys feel that guilty about it. I don't feel guilty about masturbation. I feel guilty though lusting after a female. But its not as bad if its someone I don't know. And I know that is messed up on my part and wrong. And I know what Jesus said about looking with lust. But Jesus also made me with all this testosterone going through my body so sometimes its like what the heck ? What do you expect from me. lol
[/quote]

I can't really help you since I am not a male but how about channeling some of that testosterone into tiring things like active sports such as swimming, tennis, jogging - something apart from sex? This isn't something I can offer advice about though so maybe some of the men on phatmass will offer suggestions. I would say to get your mind away from sinful thoughts and keep your body busy with other things... don't hang around home reading magazines or looking at the internet though, for a start....??

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' timestamp='1321697441' post='2338199']
Ya I rationalise a ton. I guess I make it ok in my mind because its just me and I'm not hurting anyone else. And I pat myself on the back to much because I don't go out and have sex. [/quote]

But you are hurting yourself - the part of you that matters most, the soul, as all sin hurts the soul. Not that God won't forgive you, He will, but Jesus said not to fear those who can kill the body, only those who can kill the body and the soul... so obviously the soul is more important than the body in His eyes.

And rather than patting yourself on the back for the sins you don't commit, be sorrowful for those you do.. that way you can at least ask for forgiveness and help.

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1321698773' post='2338202']

I can't really help you since I am not a male but how about channeling some of that testosterone into tiring things like active sports such as swimming, tennis, jogging - something apart from sex?
[/quote]

YES.