More On P0Rn

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' timestamp='1321588547' post='2337763']
I'm just being really honest and real in this thread. Its not stuff I come out and say all the time. I could just tell you guys I haven't had sex the last 5 years and I don't watch porn and you would be telling me GREAT JOB.
[/quote]

First an apology for not just quoting above -- should have done that.

But what I did want to say ... it is great that you have been honest about yourself in this thread. But you also need to read what we've been saying. Why? Because we're repeating what the Church teaches.

Church teaching may not be easy to swallow. But I guarantee it will lead to holiness and growth in the Lord.

Peace and blessings to you, and may the Lord give you the strength to follow Him to wherever He may lead.

Edited November 18, 2011 by cmariadiaz

[Guest]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1321588812' post='2337766']I guess Delivery Boy if I were you, pray that the Lord transforms with your conscience and the teaching of the Church. I think this society (not blaming you Del. Boy btw) has taught that a whole lot of things are perfectly fine when in fact they really aren't. It is a shame really. But then again we are called to live in the world, but not to be of the world (i.e. strive for holiness).

And Delivery Boy -- ok. You don't agree. But you know what? To insinuate that the people that I am talking about actively are in sin? No that's a bit out of line. It is true -- I don't know what happens behind closed doors because I'm not physically there. But they are in VOWS. In those cases, it would be a compounded sin (I believe it would add a sin of sacriledge, but I have to look it up). That would make it all the more mortal.

You know what? God can transform a heart if the person allows it. God can do a mighty work in each person. And I truly believe that He can transform someone such that they are living a pure and chaste life without mortal sin.[/quote]Ok you're taking me wrong. I think maturbation is a grave sin anf wrong. We agree. All I'm saying let's be real about it. Guys masturbate. When I go confesss this sin and a priest says its not even a sin and I'm not culpable (sp) that's saying something. Yettt I agree with the churches teachings and I'm saying I think masturbatiion is wrong. But just because a guy does and struggles with it at a young age I don't think that necessarily means that he is unchaste if he isn't having sex and fornicating. I guarentee priest and religious guys in there 30's and younger struggle with this sin. Its hormones and stuff like that. There is A HUGE difference in going out and being sexually active and masturbating. A huge difference. Again just being real. Godbless.

Edited November 18, 2011 by Guest

[cmaD2006]

There is a book I'm going to recommend:

"The courage to be chaste by Fr. Benedict Groeschel."

It is a gem of a book -- has a number of good points and arguments that will help. And some clear suggestions for helping live a chaste life.

[Guest]

Okey dokey. Thanks and Godbless.

[ardillacid]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' timestamp='1321588276' post='2337760']
I don't think there is nothen wrong with getting drunk as long as you are safe and mature about it. And tons of church militant people here feel the same way. [/quote]I think you are off base here

[MissyP89]

You wrote, DB, that if you hadn't said anything ... if you had just said "I haven't had sex in five years," we'd applaud you. And you're right. That's amesome.

But because God is always calling us to take that next step, to become a little more holy, we're going to call you out. If someone sins, we need to help them get right and find mercy.

I would expect you to do the same for me, or for any of us. Sexual sin messes up the entire person ... it wounds who you are. I've been there, and I don't ever want to see someone else in that place.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' timestamp='1321589501' post='2337777']
Ok you're taking me wrong. I think maturbation is a grave sin anf wrong. We agree. All I'm saying let's be real about it. Guys masturbate. When I go confesss this sin and a priest says its not even a sin and I'm not culpable (sp) that's saying something. Yettt I agree with the churches teachings and I'm saying I think masturbatiion is wrong. But just because a guy does and struggles with it at a young age I don't think that necessarily means that he is unchaste if he isn't having sex and fornicating. I guarentee priest and religious guys in there 30's and younger struggle with this sin. Its hormones and stuff like that. There is A HUGE difference in going out and being sexually active and masturbating. A huge difference. Again just being real. Godbless.
[/quote]
Your confessor is letting you down big time and you should consider finding a better one.
Strictly speaking force of habit can and does diminish culpability, but for a priest to tell you that it's not even a sin, or worse yet (as you mentioned earlier in the thread) to suggest that you don't even need to confess it is gross irresponsibility.

[Jesus_lol]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1321596725' post='2337803']
Your confessor is letting you down big time and you should consider finding a better one.
Strictly speaking force of habit can and does diminish culpability, but for a priest to tell you that it's not even a sin, or worse yet (as you mentioned earlier in the thread) to suggest that you don't even need to confess it is gross irresponsibility.
[/quote]

from my limited understanding of catholicism, Nihil here is absolutely right.

[Guest]

This was a long time back when I was still in ohio. And he was gay not that it matters. lol

[dominicansoul]

[arfink]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1321522518' post='2337325']


really? I mean, really? I don't know. I'm not a male, but are you saying that NO males are chaste? I find that very sad. I'm not saying that they don't get tempted, but do they all give in? really?
[/quote]

Don't give up hope. It is true that the statistics show it's nearly impossible to find a man who has never at some point in his life committed such a sin (I have only met one man who admitted such, and I was at a seminary for 4 years), but there are a growing number of us who have fought against it and overcome it or are at least fighting valiantly to overcome it, despite frequent failure.

That being said- please PLEASE pray for the conversion and chastity of every man you know, especially any seminarians you know. Seriously. We all can use it. Especially seminarians and priests- the ones who God calls by name are the ones who get attacked the hardest.

For myself, I'm still struggling with this, and it's been years since I was first exposed to this stuff. I don't even remember how old I was- quite young, if I recall. So I probably can't offer a whole ton of useful advice, since I haven't made it yet. Except this: the best starting point you can possibly have is weekly confession. That absolutely has to come first, before anything else. If you can't admit it's sinful and seek God's forgiveness then you will never break out. I spent several years in that stage, fighting desperately to hang on to my unfounded belief that I wasn't doing anything wrong. It wasn't until the year before I joined the seminary that I finally changed my mind.

There are alot of little practical nuggets you can consider as well, at least as far as the pr0N is concerned. Limit your computer time and carefully consider the places you'll visit. If you are planning on just wasting time online, make sure you're doing it in a "safe place," places which you know will not have such content. Install any and all advertisement blockers you can. I suggest using Firefox with the NoScript and Disconnect plugins, but there are other ways to do it. Computers save everything and report it to ad agencies these days, and if you've visited a pr0N site it will track that and target more ads at you. This tracking can follow you to other computers or even to fresh operating system installs, since such tracking is often based off your usage (tied to your username) of other popular sites like Facebook and Youtube. These ad-blocking extensions can keep that from happening, since even innocent sites like Google can begin to bombard you with racy ads because they think you're vulnerable to them. Which you are. Unwanted advertisements are one thing, however. If you [i]want[/i] to see that kind of stuff, these plugins will not help you.

As adults it's not feasible to use blocking or filtering software- if you have to install it then you can uninstall it. Don't rely on that. You're an adult, and you'll just need to be more responsible that that. I wouldn't even suggest using such software for your children, or in situations where the users won't be administering their own computers. I was tasked with administering such software at the seminary (where many men chose not have their own computers) by the rector himself, at the request of concerned vocations directors, and I can tell you that everything we tried (and we tried dozens of applications) was very easily circumvented, even by novice users. Besides this, the filtering software will prove to be a massive hassle, often blocking completely unrelated and necessary sites.

Instead, consider getting a trusted friend (or friends) to help you out. Keep your computer in a public or open place where others can see you when you use it. And always remember that accountability isn't about being punished; it's about being radically freed. Work together.

[MissyP89]

Bless you, arfink.

It's very difficult to believe a clean life is possible when you've been honestly, truly fighting for YEARS to break free. At some points, it can seem that the main issue is no longer the temptation or giving in, but despair -- "I can't do this."

Thank you for not giving up and holding onto that hope, and for your honesty here. For some people, it takes a long time. The key is to never stop trying.

Keep fighting. I am, too. We'll all get there.

[Guest]

The messed up thing is I was like 20 the first time I masturbated. lol True story. That is crazy to me. I don't know. Hopefully with the grace of God I can stop. I do acknowledge its really wrong. And it is degrading to the women I lust after there is no question about that.

Edited November 18, 2011 by Guest

[Guest]

Although if just lusting after women in a sports illustrated swimsuit edition or something like that it doesn't seem as bad. Because they know exactly what they are doing and their asking for it. I have a hard time feeling guilt there opposed to lusting after female friends or what not.

Edited November 18, 2011 by Guest

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' timestamp='1321646224' post='2337970']
Although if just lusting after women in a sports illustrated swimsuit edition or something like that it doesn't seem as bad. Because they know exactly what they are doing and their asking for it. I have a hard time feeling guilt there opposed to lusting after female friends or what not.
[/quote]
The only difference is that swimsuit and pornographic models are that much more broken and damaged than your female friends.
ETA: Often because they're so desensitized to being treated as objects of sexual gratification by men.

Edited November 18, 2011 by Nihil Obstat