Help!

[Byzantine]

Okay, this one's different from my other posts because I don't see "no sin" or "chill out dude" being an option here.

Long story short: a relative began giving me a guilt trip because I hadn't checked my voice mail (tech glitch, to make a detailed story short), so I took over the conversation and returned my own guilt trip, basically a list of the ways this person had put me in a bad situation and stuff. Tried not to yell or anything, but it was basically like this:

Relative: "I'm always the biggest fool. Everyone takes advantage of me & expects me to do things without being told/asked."
Me: "<Insert list of ways Relative had taken advantage of me/put me in a bad situation>"
Relative: Either "That's not as bad as mine" or "That's not my fault"
Me: Little bit of a freak out pointing out either how it's worse than relative's or how it is relative's fault. I'm at the point of tears by this time...
Relative pretty much gives in.


Mortal or venial?

[MissyP89]

Arguing with someone usually won't send you to hell. If you told them to drop dead, swore at them, hit them, etc. etc., I would go to confession.

Are you seeing a priest on the regular, Byzantine? I feel like it's counterproductive to bring issues like this to a phorum where none of us really knows your situation or your heart. In fact, asking a bunch of random people whether or not you're in mortal sin is usually a profoundly bad idea, in my experience.

Go talk to Father. And then do whatever he says -- nothing more or less. You may have to do this a lot until you're able to make mortal/venial judgments comfortably on your own, but stick with it. It's a process.

[Basilisa Marie]

What Missy said, and that it's sometimes hard to tell if a sin is mortal or venial (especially if you did something deliberately, but aren't sure if it's grave enough). Which is why if I were in that situation I'd ask a priest anyway, or just go to confession next time I could and bring it up then. My general rule is that if something like a sin is bothering me, I ask a priest or bring it up in confession.

[Luigi]

If it was your mother or father, semi-mortal.

If it was an older sister or brother, venial.

If it was a little sister or brother, demi-venial.




But not mortal in any case.

[Byzantine]

Thank you all... It's just that I won't really have an opportunity to confess before Liturgy tonight unless I ask my priest for Confession about 5 minutes before. Otherwise this is the type of thing I would've brought up to him.

[Amppax]

You know, you don't HAVE to recieve every time you attend mass (or liturgy in your case). At least, I'm assuming that is true for Byzantine... Sometimes just going and making an act of spiritual communion is what you need to do. I go to confession about once a month, and sometimes i won't recieve communion for two or three weeks at a time, and that's ok. In fact, that's the way it should be, better to get some odd looks for not going up than to recieve the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin. Just make sure to get to confession.

Edited November 29, 2011 by Amppax

[BigJon16]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1321066010' post='2335212']

Mortal or venial?
[/quote]

I love the way that this was worded. Just the fact that all you had to say at the end were these three words made me "lol".

Its like you knew what we would be expecting you to ask...


::

[arfink]

[quote name='Amppax' timestamp='1322598795' post='2342244']
You know, you don't HAVE to recieve every time you attend mass (or liturgy in your case). At least, I'm assuming that is true for Byzantine... Sometimes just going and making an act of spiritual communion is what you need to do. I go to confession about once a month, and sometimes i won't recieve communion for two or three weeks at a time, and that's ok. In fact, that's the way it should be, better to get some odd looks for not going up than to recieve the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin. Just make sure to get to confession.
[/quote]

Or you could get thee to confession every week and it would be 100% better than going once a month.

[Nola Seminarian]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1321066010' post='2335212']
Okay, this one's different from my other posts because I don't see "no sin" or "chill out dude" being an option here.

Long story short: a relative began giving me a guilt trip because I hadn't checked my voice mail (tech glitch, to make a detailed story short), so I took over the conversation and returned my own guilt trip, basically a list of the ways this person had put me in a bad situation and stuff. Tried not to yell or anything, but it was basically like this:

Relative: "I'm always the biggest fool. Everyone takes advantage of me & expects me to do things without being told/asked."
Me: "<Insert list of ways Relative had taken advantage of me/put me in a bad situation>"
Relative: Either "That's not as bad as mine" or "That's not my fault"
Me: Little bit of a freak out pointing out either how it's worse than relative's or how it is relative's fault. I'm at the point of tears by this time...
Relative pretty much gives in.


Mortal or venial?
[/quote]

brother, i recommend that you get a spiritual director or at the very least a regular confessor who you ask these questions

[MissyP89]

[quote name='Amppax' timestamp='1322598795' post='2342244']
You know, you don't HAVE to recieve every time you attend mass (or liturgy in your case). At least, I'm assuming that is true for Byzantine... Sometimes just going and making an act of spiritual communion is what you need to do. I go to confession about once a month, and sometimes i won't recieve communion for two or three weeks at a time, and that's ok. In fact, that's the way it should be, better to get some odd looks for not going up than to recieve the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin. Just make sure to get to confession.
[/quote]

Sure, you don't HAVE to, but it's generally a bad idea to abstain unless it's absolutely necessary. You (general "you") really need the graces.

[Nola Seminarian]

[quote name='Amppax' timestamp='1322598795' post='2342244']
You know, you don't HAVE to recieve every time you attend mass (or liturgy in your case). At least, I'm assuming that is true for Byzantine... Sometimes just going and making an act of spiritual communion is what you need to do. I go to confession about once a month, and sometimes i won't recieve communion for two or three weeks at a time, and that's ok. In fact, that's the way it should be, better to get some odd looks for not going up than to recieve the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin. Just make sure to get to confession.
[/quote]

it is [b][i][u]A VERY GOOD IDEA[/u][/i][/b] to recieve frequently. once a week, every day even. it sustains your soul for the fight against Satan. I'm talking about both [u][i][b][color=#ff0000]Reconciliation[/color][/b][/i][/u] and [u][i][b][color=#ff0000]Eucharist[/color][/b][/i][/u]