Answering Parents' Concerns

[brandelynmarie]

My parents (a nonpracticingCatholic/former Baptist & a Nazarene) are kinda . When I left the country at age 20, they were like, "Well, have a good time." Which in some ways makes it easier for me, but in other ways makes it more painful.

[InPersonaChriste]

I told my family immediately that I was actively discerning. It was not as a sense of pride or being scared, but I was overcome by this unspeakable joy at having a chance to become something that I felt so deeply the first time I ever met a sister. My father is shamelessy proud of his children for discerning their vocations, but he is also incredibly scared for me as I will be going on retreat in an entirely different country, on a plane, and on my own!

My mother was a convert and she really did not understand the vocation of religious life other than the Priesthood. I think God helped me out though when I went to Chile with her. I met the Visitation nuns with my mother in the parlour with a grille and everything. It was absolutely beautiful to see my mother ask questions and talk and laugh normally with the Mother Superioir and another sister. I know that makes my mom sound like some sort of robot, but I needed the reassurance as much as she needed the experience.

Praise be Jesus Christ

Edited November 9, 2011 by InPersonaChriste

[juchu]

As cmariadiaz suggested I also hope that "getting to know the place and the sisters" will help.

I told my parents about 1,5 years ago but it was last Christmas when I was with the community instead of being "home" that they realized that this is real.

Right now we are actually at a wonderful point - they themselves decided to visit the community to "check" it out while on vacation in the same country. It did help that two of my friends (one a friend at my age and someone else who has been something like a father for me for some time) visited and the later one actually talked to my parents that it is not "so bad at all".

They will never [b][i]understand [/i][/b]what it is that makes me do this, but honestly I myself do not [i][b]understand[/b][/i] it either... But I feel, believe, hope that this is what God is asking from me.

Actually, as a suggestion, I hope it will help my parents to see the sisters without me. I think it would be too hard if I was sitting with them in chapel, working, etc. So for now they can just visit and do not constnatly see me there.
I know that for your parents, TB, this is not possible as you have already almost entered.
But maybe it helps someone else.

And may I also ask for prayers... they visit next Wednesday!

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='juchu' timestamp='1320842376' post='2333688']
As cmariadiaz suggested I also hope that "getting to know the place and the sisters" will help.

I told my parents about 1,5 years ago but it was last Christmas when I was with the community instead of being "home" that they realized that this is real.

Right now we are actually at a wonderful point - they themselves decided to visit the community to "check" it out while on vacation in the same country. It did help that two of my friends (one a friend at my age and someone else who has been something like a father for me for some time) visited and the later one actually talked to my parents that it is not "so bad at all".

They will never [b][i]understand [/i][/b]what it is that makes me do this, but honestly I myself do not [i][b]understand[/b][/i] it either... But I feel, believe, hope that this is what God is asking from me.

Actually, as a suggestion, I hope it will help my parents to see the sisters without me. I think it would be too hard if I was sitting with them in chapel, working, etc. So for now they can just visit and do not constnatly see me there.
I know that for your parents, TB, this is not possible as you have already almost entered.
But maybe it helps someone else.

And may I also ask for prayers... they visit next Wednesday!
[/quote]

You know, fortunately enough, my parents [i]have[/i] met the sisters- and without my being there! And I do think that helped a lot as well. (Three sisters came to my graduation a year and a half ago and sat with my family.)

I really think right now there is simply a struggle in understanding the supernatural in all of this. Without strong faith, how [i]can[/i] you understand the virtue of poverty? How can you understand that God is the only possession that my heart seeks to own? And that, although it seems contrary to logic, our love will only grow without these other material 'things'... because without them, what is there? Only love. Love in its purest form.

I suppose experiencing the truth of this will be the only way they can come to understand.

Thanks be to God my parents love me so much and they want me to be happy more than anything else and they know this does make me happy...

Also- prayers for you and your family!

[juchu]

Then it is really good that they have met them already. And also great that they came to your graduation!

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1320849486' post='2333713']

I suppose experiencing the truth of this will be the only way they can come to understand.

[/quote]

I guess so... I mean, I cannot speak from experience about religious life... but first my parents were quite surprised and sceptical that I studied theology at university. We are not really a religious family. But during the last years at least we go to church together for Christmas and my nephews were baptised and all not so much out of "obligation" but at something "natural" which has not always been in our family, its a little bit a "rediscovery" like "well, our daughter does theology so maybe we will try it out how it feels to be a little bit religious"...

So maybe - sometimes we children - can also be instruments of Gods grace to our parents in response to all the blessings we have also received through them.

So hopefully for our parents our entry into religious life will be a bit "experiencing the truth" of all this... And maybe while we are trying to pray, trying to understand and keep praying for them they will sometime understand.
Its a bit like in 1 Cor 13 (I do not know the exact English translation):[i] For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.[/i]

Oh and some funny side note: I just talked to my mother on the phone before them leaving tomorrow for vacation. She asked me how things "work", what she could do wrong, etc. I basically tried to tell her not to worry, that the sisters would guide them through it, but eventually explained a bit about how it works in the refectory and then she summed it up to my dad and it was like: "okay, listen .......! You eat what you get, you get it passed and you just pass it on. You pass on everything that one gives to you, be it food or salt or oil. But no the glass with tea you keep! And then there is coffee after lunch. Oh and you can't speak! But you can say Amen to the prayer!"

[brandelynmarie]

[quote name='juchu' timestamp='1320842376' post='2333688']
They will never [b][i]understand [/i][/b]what it is that makes me do this, but honestly I myself do not [i][b]understand[/b][/i] it either... But I feel, believe, hope that this is what God is asking from me.
[/quote]
[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1320849486' post='2333713']
I really think right now there is simply a struggle in understanding the supernatural in all of this. Without strong faith, how [i]can[/i] you understand the virtue of poverty? How can you understand that God is the only possession that my heart seeks to own? And that, although it seems contrary to logic, our love will only grow without these other material 'things'... because without them, what is there? Only love. Love in its purest form.

I suppose experiencing the truth of this will be the only way they can come to understand.
[/quote]
[quote name='juchu' timestamp='1320869241' post='2333875']

So hopefully for our parents our entry into religious life will be a bit "experiencing the truth" of all this... And maybe while we are trying to pray, trying to understand and keep praying for them they will sometime understand.
Its a bit like in 1 Cor 13 (I do not know the exact English translation):[i] For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.[/i]

[/quote]

Yes...all of the above.

[cmaD2006]

Oh and another thing ... I think over time parents "come 'round." I say that because in the 1st community that I entered, my partner-in-crime (aka fellow postulant lol) had parents who were completely against her vocation. They were upset.

Well, its been 8 years now since she entered, and now the sister is perpetually professed, and her parents are strong benefactors to the community. They love the sisters, and are happy with the decision that their daughter made. You see their participation in her final profession, and they were beaming.

So have faith!