What Options Are There?

[MarysLittleFlower]

Sorry I make so many threads with questions
I do have another one though lol!

It seems my feelings about vocations change sometimes. For the longest time, I've felt a strong attraction to religious life and it was often on my mind. One time, I was praying and I felt like God was asking me to give myself entirely to Him, but I don't know if this means being a nun or not. Another time, I felt like God was asking me to serve the Church, and when I agreed I thought maybe it's in the context of religious life, and that's when I realized that being a nun is not something selfish, but you live to give to others.
However, recently, I feel like God took away all my desires for ANY vocation - and at that moment, I only wanted to do whatever He wants.. this happens rarely, because I still have so much "self". Afterwards, I was still in a type of darkness, I couldn't see what exactly God is asking of me, - but it's like He was asking to just[i] blindly [/i]surrender ot His will for now, without knowing what it is. There was a lot of peace at the same time. So here I am, - planning on going to a discernment retreat, but at the moment not having any idea of God's will for me. It is for this reason that I haven't yet told my family.. because I am not sure. I don't know when is the right time to tell them or how much to say about this retreat.

Anyways.. there are two things that are often on my mind, even after this time in prayer.. I still don't feel called to marriage and I do want to give myself completely to God. However, I don't feel like right now He is asking me specifically to leave my family, maybe because my family would need me I don't know. (for those who have discerned religious life, did you feel Him actually asking you to leave your family? or did He ask you more generally?). I have no idea if He would ask me of this in the future.

And that makes me wonder.. what other options are there? If it's presumably not marriage, and not religious life, what is my vocation and what could it be? For example, I read about St Rose of Lima.. she was a Third Order Dominican, yet she never married and she gave a vow of virginity to Christ. I don't really understand, why does God call some to be religious, and others to be in the world yet still consecrate themselves as a virgin? Does the Church only acknowledge 2 types of vocations, or are there more possibilities out there? Of course I will continue discerning religious life and keep praying, but I'm just wondering what the Church teaching is.

I had a thought before, maybe all this is due to my desire to belong to Christ completely, to be His bride.. I don't understand why I feel this way. I also don't know if it indicates a vocation, though it seems to be such that it excludes marriage (?). I've questioned this desire many times because it reminds me of some of the Saints, but I'm not a saint, I'm a very ordinary type of person and a sinner. Maybe God just wants our weakness Who knows, it could still be His will for me to marry. Lol - this is confusing maybe I'm thinking too much and just need to trust.

Sorry for my ramblings! But I was wondering - besides marriage and religious life, what is there.

thank you!!

Edited November 5, 2011 by MarysLittleFlower

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='MarysLittleFlower' timestamp='1320527356' post='2331991']
Sorry I make so many threads with questions
I do have another one though lol!

It seems my feelings about vocations change sometimes. For the longest time, I've felt a strong attraction to religious life and it was often on my mind. One time, I was praying and I felt like God was asking me to give myself entirely to Him, but I don't know if this means being a nun or not. Another time, I felt like God was asking me to serve the Church, and when I agreed I thought maybe it's in the context of religious life, and that's when I realized that being a nun is not something selfish, but you live to give to others.
However, recently, I feel like God took away all my desires for ANY vocation - and at that moment, I only wanted to do whatever He wants.. this happens rarely, because I still have so much "self". Afterwards, I was still in a type of darkness, I couldn't see what exactly God is asking of me, - but it's like He was asking to just[i] blindly [/i]surrender ot His will for now, without knowing what it is. There was a lot of peace at the same time. So here I am, - planning on going to a discernment retreat, but at the moment not having any idea of God's will for me. It is for this reason that I haven't yet told my family.. because I am not sure. I don't know when is the right time to tell them or how much to say about this retreat.

Anyways.. there are two things that are often on my mind, even after this time in prayer.. I still don't feel called to marriage and I do want to give myself completely to God. However, I don't feel like right now He is asking me specifically to leave my family, maybe because my family would need me I don't know. (for those who have discerned religious life, did you feel Him actually asking you to leave your family? or did He ask you more generally?). I have no idea if He would ask me of this in the future.

And that makes me wonder.. what other options are there? If it's presumably not marriage, and not religious life, what is my vocation and what could it be? For example, I read about St Rose of Lima.. she was a Third Order Dominican, yet she never married and she gave a vow of virginity to Christ. I don't really understand, why does God call some to be religious, and others to be in the world yet still consecrate themselves as a virgin? Does the Church only acknowledge 2 types of vocations, or are there more possibilities out there? Of course I will continue discerning religious life and keep praying, but I'm just wondering what the Church teaching is.

I had a thought before, maybe all this is due to my desire to belong to Christ completely, to be His bride.. I don't understand why I feel this way. I also don't know if it indicates a vocation, though it seems to be such that it excludes marriage (?). I've questioned this desire many times because it reminds me of some of the Saints, but I'm not a saint, I'm a very ordinary type of person and a sinner. Maybe God just wants our weakness Who knows, it could still be His will for me to marry. Lol - this is confusing maybe I'm thinking too much and just need to trust.

Sorry for my ramblings! But I was wondering - besides marriage and religious life, what is there.

thank you!!
[/quote]


Just a few...

consecrated virgin
consecrated hermit
secular institute
lay missionary

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Have you thought of single life? I have friends who are lay consecrated women who live in a community like nuns, but wear normal clothes, have normal-ish jobs (teaching, accounting for the community, blah blah blah). The do seem to visit their family an awful lot, so you would not have to leave them.
About my calling... I don't think I felt a time when God seemed to be calling me to "leave my family", like that wasn't the main part of the vocation, it was another detail. He wants me to be ALL His, and nobody else's, give my whole life to Him. To sacrifice everything because if that's what He is calling me to do, that is the best way I can repay Him for the debt I can never repay. You can only do so much here on earth, you know? I used to have a VERY hard time when thinking about the aspect of leaving my family, but I have to ease into it, I can't do it all at once. Again, gradually is always better. I am the oldest of 6 kids, and my youngest sister is 9 months old, and that is really, really hard because I leave when I feel called to at the moment, she will be 6 years old. That is very hard, but she will always be told and always know that her big sister did what God needed from her, and that was leaving all earthly things to be with Him forever.

[brandelynmarie]

The Pauline Family has this option for single lay women:



We are single consecrated women living the vowed life in the world. We are aggregated to the Society of St. Paul and are one of nine religious institutes founded by Blessed Fr. James Alberione. Our Charism is of Jesus Master, Way, Truth, and Life. Our Patron saint is St. Paul and our patroness is Mary Queen of Apostles. We share in the apostolate of social communications with the Society of St. Paul by our prayers, the Eucharist and our daily exercise of our ministries in our occupations. We exercise our ministries through example to others. We are renewed each day through our practice of spiritual exercises, which include daily Mass, monthly retreats, meditation, recitation of the rosary, Liturgy of the Hours, and annual retreat. Through our consecration of the vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience we are professing love and commitment to the Divine Master


[url="http://annunciationists-usa.org/"]http://annunciationists-usa.org/[/url] Edited November 6, 2011 by brandelynmarie

[MarysLittleFlower]

thank you for the replies! I really need to pray and discern and I hope God leads me to what He wants me to do. When you mentioned living in the world but being consecrated to God, I thought that probably a career is part of that... right now, career seems like a duty I need to do, and yes I want to do it well and offer it to God, but I've never seen it as my "path" in life... maybe it is and I just don't see it now, I dont know. I find that often all the worldly things take me further from God. There are other things that I enjoy doing, like art, and I was hoping to use this for the Church but I suppose I could do this in any vocation if that's God's will. I love the idea of belonging fully to Christ and leaving the world for His sake. I just don't know if He would call me to that. It's His choice.. and my situation is not very simple, there are obstacles that might be significant. I guess i have much self will in me since the possibility of me never being a religious, makes me feel sad and I do wish I could have been a nun. On the other hand, thinking of being a religious makes me afraid because of all my attachments, and having to leave my family, etc. I think it's better if I cared nothing except God's will, even if I don't know it, - to surrender to it blindly. That's what I think it's good to strive for. I think sometimes it's easy to fall into caring too much about [i]what[/i] God's will is I hope Mother Mary helps me with this!

Edited November 6, 2011 by MarysLittleFlower

[vee]

http://www.lafayettecarmelites.org/god_calling.php

[marigold]

[quote name='MarysLittleFlower' timestamp='1320552916' post='2332161']
thank you for the replies! I really need to pray and discern and I hope God leads me to what He wants me to do. When you mentioned living in the world but being consecrated to God, I thought that probably a career is part of that... right now, career seems like a duty I need to do, and yes I want to do it well and offer it to God, but I've never seen it as my "path" in life... maybe it is and I just don't see it now, I dont know. I find that often all the worldly things take me further from God. There are other things that I enjoy doing, like art, and I was hoping to use this for the Church but I suppose I could do this in any vocation if that's God's will. I love the idea of belonging fully to Christ and leaving the world for His sake. I just don't know if He would call me to that. It's His choice.. and my situation is not very simple, there are obstacles that might be significant. I guess i have much self will in me since the possibility of me never being a religious, makes me feel sad and I do wish I could have been a nun. On the other hand, thinking of being a religious makes me afraid because of all my attachments, and having to leave my family, etc. I think it's better if I cared nothing except God's will, even if I don't know it, - to surrender to it blindly. That's what I think it's good to strive for. I think sometimes it's easy to fall into caring too much about [i]what[/i] God's will is I hope Mother Mary helps me with this!
[/quote]

Seriously, every single nun I know has gone through the same thoughts. I don't think leaving is ever taken lightly, but if you do have that desire - even if it's conflicted by other desires - then in my opinion you should give it a go. At this stage it's not so important if it's God's will that you live and die as a monastic/religious: I think that will become clear as things unfold and time goes on.

When I was struggling with the same things (still do) I asked myself if I could put this aside and continue my life without ever at least [i]trying[/i] it. The answer, for me, was no.

Excited for you Let us know how things go.

[marigold]

I also think we spend too much time wondering if monastic/religious life is 'God's will for us' - as though on the last day we'll be faced with this other hypothetical life that was supposed to have happened. We underestimate the strength of our free will. As one nun I know is fond of saying, 'It doesn't matter, because I've given my life to him.'

[EWIE]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1320539487' post='2332066']


[b][size=5][color=#800000]Or even a hidden unconsecrated hermit or virgin and why does it have to have a label at all?[/color][/size][/b]

consecrated virgin
consecrated hermit
secular institute
lay missionary
[/quote]

[Queen'sDaughter]

Though there a certaintly other vocations out there, do not become discouraged from seeking out a vocation to marriage or the religious life. Sometimes God withdraws His Presence to strengthen us, and to deepen our love. Do you have a spiritual director? I strongly suggest that you have someone who can guide you, so that you are not so disturbed by your feelings. Remember that what you [i]feel[/i] and what [i]God's Will [/i]is are not always the same thing! In my own experience, I can go weeks dreading the thought of entering, and weeks dying with longing.

So I would encourage you to consult a priest, or your Spiritual Director, and don't give up! God has a path for you, and He will not let you down.

[Antigonos]

May I ask how old you are? I think nearly all teenagers and young women go through a stage when religious life seems terrifically attractive, but whether the inclination persists is another matter. IMO, one of the biggest changes since V2 seems to be the reluctance of religious communities to accept very young postulants. One needs experience of the world in order to correctly discern whether one is being called to renounce it.

[organwerke]

I'd advice you to visit several religious Institutes, without forcing yourself, but you can't know if you are called to religious life if you never contact or visit Religious Families. If you feel attracted or if they repell you, well, this will give you informations about what you really feel called to.