Do You Have What It Takes?

[beatitude]

[quote name='Francis Clare' timestamp='1320418430' post='2331246']
. [i]People don't seem to care or even want me to be happy[/i]

But FS, it's not people you need to validate or celebrate your desire for religious life, is it? It's between you and the Lord. HE is happy for you, HE cares for/about you, not people. And his Blessed Mother must surely have you in her care and she desires your happiness as well. Always remember that humans are weak and flawed and they will disappoint you more often than you expect. Keep your eyes, heart, soul, mind focused on your Beloved. He will not disappoint.
[/quote]

This is true, but it is also important to remember that it is not necessarily a sign that people don't care about your happiness if they won't give you what you want right away. God does not always give us our wants immediately (or even at all, if we want the wrong things) but this does not mean that he doesn't care for our happiness.

FutureSister, you are ready for the challenge of religious life - but are you ready for other challenges in your life, the ones that exist here and now? Making the most of your college time, thanking God for the opportunity you have been given to learn? Not complaining when things are rough? Rejoicing when people enter the convent, without also needing to tell them how jealous you feel? Giving serious thought to the opinions of the people in your life, and trying to understand why they want you to wait?

All these things are very hard, but they are necessary. These are all things you can do now, and our now is where we serve God, not just in the future.

[FutureSister2009]

I see what your saying. I have to endure all the challenges life may bring, both my normal life and future Religious Life, in order to be happy and rewarded in Heaven. The waiting is the hardest thing ever but apparently it's necessary.

[beatitude]

You're right there. By nature I'm a very impatient person. I've been this way ever since I was a little girl and it's a real fight to try and be any different. But it's getting easier with time. You'll find that it gets easier for you too, I'm sure. Just keep at it.

The best advice I ever had about patience comes from St Paul: "Always be thankful." I try to begin and end every day by thanking God for the different things in it, both the things I liked and the things I didn't! I know even the stuff I don't enjoy is part of the story, and one day I'm going to read it and see that the 'book' of my life would have been in tatters without it. Patience and a grateful spirit really do go hand in hand - if you pay attention to one, you'll find that you have the other, and then you will be able to wait through anything.

Edited November 4, 2011 by beatitude

[Cherie]

[quote name='Deus_te_Amat' timestamp='1320275903' post='2330493']
What is that you even need to have what it takes? How do you prepare for the difficulties and challenges that make up religious life?

Recently, another friend of mine discerned out of the convent. That means that for the sole exception of one sister (who is still in formation -- out of the novitiate but has yet to make final vows), every person that I have personally known enter the convent has left. I realize that that may be God's will for them, but the sobering reality is that I am terrified of it happening to me. Religious life is HARD. Here in the VS, I see touted a very romanticized version of what the religious life is, and, (forgive me faith and nunsense,-- I am so glad for your witness here), I don't think many of us realize the staggering reality that[i] is[/i] religious life. The loneliness. The inability to share with anyone but God... Emotional attachments to people? bad plan. How do you prepare? How do you know you can persevere? God's grace and God's will. But does that mean the people who left weren't given the grace necessary to succeed?

I "know" the answers to these questions. But so, I thought, did my friends who entered and left.

How can I prepare? For those of you that have entered and left, what is your perspective? Do you have any thoughts/suggestions?

Thank you for listening to my rant. ahhhhhhh
DtA
[/quote]

I know I haven't been very active in VS lately, but as a former religious, I thought I'd add my two cents. Hope you don't mind.

Over the years, I have seen countless women I know enter and then leave religious life; some were from my former community, and others were from various other communities.

I wish I could say there was always a common denominator: "They glamorized the life," "They didn't have enough faith," "They couldn't handle obedience," "They didn't pray enough." But that's not the case. Although some of those factors were present in people I know who left, many times I was completely and utterly shocked by the news of someone who left; they were the last person in the world I thought would leave. I must admit, when I hear someone is entering religious life, my first question is whether or not they'll make it. It's not unusual for people to leave religious life, especially during formation.

In my situation, there were glaring signs I wasn't meant for religious life, but I knew the importance of persevering, so I continued with it, despite knowing "something" was wrong. I [i]wanted[/i] to be a religious so badly, and I worked so hard to make that possible, even working [i]against[/i] His Will for me. Once I finally opened myself to His Will, everything fell into place. Leaving was extremely difficult, but it was something I had to do. In the end, God worked everything out for good: I wouldn't be the woman I am today, with the family I have today, if I hadn't been in religious life for exactly the length of time that I was (5 years). I learned so much while I was there and am truly grateful for that experience.

I guess the point is what many other posters have mentioned: No one really "has what it takes." It's pure grace from God.

That being said, there are things you can do to prepare yourself, as I have seen many women not persevere simply because they had no idea what religious life entailed.

Religious life IS HARD. I remember I wrote the quote from St. Teresa of Avila on a bookmark in my breviary: "You did not enter religion to indulge the flesh, but to die for Jesus Christ." Seems harsh, but it's a reminder you should always keep before your eyes. Religious life has many unspeakable joys; it is a beautiful way of life. But you're not entering religious life for that reason. You're answering a call from God to follow Him, in a way that is strewn with thorns. It will not always be easy. Sometimes it will be, but oftentimes it won't, and it helps to remember that. The analogy is often giving that marriage is good, like you are walking towards Heaven, but religious life is [i]better ... [/i]you are [i]running[/i] towards Heaven! And running sure takes a lot more effort than walking, and that often shows in the nitty-gritty, day-to-day activities. This is why I always recommend the book [i]My Sister St. Therese[/i] to those discerning religious life. Many of the petty, negative behaviors St. Therese had to deal with are going to be the same things you're going to deal with.

Yes, these women are all coming together to pursue the perfection of charity. Yes, they all (hopefully!) are striving to become Saints. But for that very reason, the devil works hard to discourage you. And we are all fallen human beings ... no convent is immune from sinful behavior. I vaguely remember reading a story about a Saint who said if there is no one to be "sandpaper" to the religious in the convent, to try them in order for them to become more perfect, to go find someone off the street to enter and serve that purpose. The point is, we [i]need[/i] to deal with situations like that in order to become more holy. How do you become more patient? By reacting to situations in which you're inclined to be [i]impatient.[/i] The same holds true with all the virtues - we need to be tried by fire like gold. Many women mistakenly believe they're entering a veritable "Heaven on earth..." and you know what? It is a "Heaven on earth" ... but not the way they imagine, with every Sister falling over themselves to be kind, generous, and holy toward one another. I'm not saying that religious life is a place where all the Sisters are mean spirited, catty, angry people who hate each other! NO WAY! I have truly witnessed [i]real[/i] Saints when I was in the convent (and if I have a daughter, I'm naming her after one of them!). But I'm just saying all this in order to show a bit of realism to people who glamorize religious life, then are disedified (or even scandalized!) enough to leave. Of course, that's not the only reason why people decide to leave: there are almost as many reasons as there are people. But I have seen quite a few people for whom naivete of the life contributed to their decision to leave. Did they have an authentic vocation? Maybe not, but I think it's better to prepare yourself now so you don't risk losing an authentic calling (and I'm one who believes that some people [i]can[/i] lose an authentic calling). You [i]will[/i] deal with uncharitable behavior when you're in the convent. You will have joys--TRUE, pure joys--beyond your wildest imaginations, but it will also be much harder than you could really imagine.

Pray for perseverance every day. Don't ever rely on your own strength. Work on making sacrifices now. Try to overcome your faults. Lean on Christ -- HE is the one who is calling you, so trust in Him.

The only thing you can do is jump in and try it. Don't ever be afraid or ashamed if it doesn't end up being the calling God has for you. Even if He doesn't want you to be a religious, He will have wanted you to experience religious life for the time you were there.

[TheresaThoma]

[quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1320422960' post='2331270']
The waiting is the hardest thing ever but apparently it's necessary.
[/quote]
One thing that is helping me right now is to look for and do God's work here and now. Ask Him to show you what He needs you need to do. I asked Him that and I ended up being a RCIA sponsor/Godmother! I know that this is His work and what He wants of me. Focus on the here and now, everyday I try to be the best student/daughter/employee that I can. God gives me MANY opportunities to practice virtues simply by me being present in the current moment.

[IamMyBeloveds]

Beautifully said, Cherie Madame!
[quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1320433706' post='2331341'][b]"No one really "has what it takes." It's pure grace from God....[/b]"
[/quote]



It is pure grace from God and our acceptance of that grace. I always like what a young novice once said on a vocation video I watched, "It's a supernatural vocation, And if it's not God's will, He's not going to give you the grace to do it, and you [u][b]need[/b][/u] the grace to do it". Therefore it's not a matter of 'having what it takes' (although that question enters many of our minds), as much as a matter of accepting God's will to live something you are being graced to live. Accepting that grace isn't easy. In fact, it is very hard. But if you're called and are willing to correspond to that grace, it won't be impossible. ...And you will have great joy in living your vocation. Perhaps not right away when things are so new, challenging, and perhaps some struggle with the changes and homesickness, but deep within there is a peace and joy. You know you are where He is asking you to be and daily you are receiving the grace to persevere. Remember, inner joy is a lot deeper than the emotional outward happiness. Sometimes you can be joyful even when you are not outwardly emotionally "walking on the clouds", so to speak. Even in suffering, it is possible to be joyfully living the religious life.

Before I left for the convent on Sept. 8th, I wrote the following quote in my journal that I brought with me and prayed with it frequently. It is like a wake-up call when you are feeling sorry for yourself if someone has offended you, etc. You will rub elbows in the convent because we are all human! St. John of the Cross really helped to put things in perspective for me:
[i]"...You should engrave this truth on your heart. And it is that you have not come to the monastery for any other reason than to be worked and tried in virtue; you are like the stone that must be chiseled and fashioned before being set in the building. Thus you should understand that those who are in the monastery are craftsmen placed there by God to mortify you by working and chiseling at you. Some will chisel with words, telling you what you would rather not hear; others by deed, doing against you what you would rather not endure; others by their temperament, being in their person and in their actions a bother and annoyance to you; and others by their thoughts, neither esteeming nor feeling love for you. You ought to suffer these mortifications and annoyances with inner patience, being silent for love of God and understanding that you did not enter the religious life for any other reason than for others to work you in this way, and so you become worthy of heaven. If this was not your reason for entering the religious state, you should not have done so, but should have remained in the world to seek your comfort, honor, reputation, and ease." --St. John of the Cross[/i]

[brandelynmarie]

I think it was Thomas Merton who once refered to the monastery as a [i]refugium peccatorum, [/i]a refuge of sinners.




Ave Maria, Refugium Peccatorum!

[marigold]

[quote name='brandelynmarie' timestamp='1320545049' post='2332103']
I think it was Thomas Merton who once refered to the monastery as a [i]refugium peccatorum, [/i]a refuge of sinners.




Ave Maria, Refugium Peccatorum!
[/quote]

Amen. Somebody else said that if the Church is a hospital then the monastery is the intensive care ward!