Contacting Different Poor Clare Communities

[Pax_et bonum]

In two weeks I turn 18 and can start contacting cloistered communities again! (My parents have forbidden me from it.)
I was talking with Fr. David Mary today, and we spoke of how one is called to a specific community not just to the Poor Clares, Carmelites, etc. How does one go about that? Should I write a few communities saying I am discerning/think I may have a Poor Clare vocation, but I don't know where?
Does anyone have any experiences with this? Faith, how did you come to choose to enter Q and now NH?

[faithcecelia]

Q seemed perfect for me at the time. A big but fairly young community, financial stability, no suggestion Q would close. I hit it off with the community and adored their liturgy. As I had come from a lively home parish, a progressive Carmel seemed perfect. Sadly it wasn't, and I think both NM and Prioress came across the awful childhood I had had for the first time, leading them to, I suspect, be over cautioos and send me away too early. The prioress had admitted herself she things she made a mistake in sending me away.

The time I have been out has been agony but useful. I have realised that while my home parish was lively and charismatic, those outwars forms of worship were actually expressions of a very orthodox faith - modernism and liberalism are NOT the same thing!

As it gradually became clear that Q would only ever judge me by how I had been and not who I now am, I decided to look around. I visited NH in Feb and loved them, yet said I did not want to continue discerning with them, I couldnt explain why. I visited Kirk Edge which was a beautiful experience and I was close to taking a leap of faith, but then I was told about the corporal penance and for me that was a deal-breaker, so had to turn that down.

I then arranhed a visit to Wolverhampton but there were a couple of things I feel uncertain about them, I cannot explain it, so I cancelled the trip. The fact that neither that email, nor the next saying I had recommenced contact with NH was acknowledged suggested to me I had make the right decision.

I started to look abroad, and pray it over, but was absolutely sure God wants me in a UK Carmel. So in the middle of one night I took a deep breath and emailed SrMJ again, telling her I felt I had made a mistake and could I try again there. After some probing emails, she agreed and the rest is history! The main thing between my first and next contact was I had moved on in my grief from Q.

I will always have a deep sadness that it went wrong at Q, I cry everyday even now, but I am sure God wants me in NH now, and I believe my time in Q was necessary to break me in gently as NH are far, far more traditional and austaire. Interesting though, and unusually for contemplative comminities (UK st least) they are keen on therapy as they feel strongly you should strive to give your 100% self to God, and so often therapy is needed for that,

Bit of a ramble, but hope it helps!

[InPersonaChriste]

Santa Teresa de los Andes visited a community of nuns before entering her beloved carmel. She said that she knew she was meant for this carmel because they talked much of God, and little of wordly things.

As for me, I looked at my strengths and my weaknesses and asked the Lord for guidance. I really wanted to become a Nashville Dominican, but I dont think I would become a very good teacher (and obviously God didnt either.) so after a little discernment I realised what communities would fit with my personality and God's directions.

Just be open to his grace and contact the community you feel most drawn too. That's where I started and it really helped.

[brandelynmarie]

Props! But sadly I am out...yet again.

Edited October 20, 2011 by brandelynmarie

[marigold]

Well at least you have some idea of an Order, that's a start! Orthodox monasteries are different from one to another, and I remember having the same feeling of 'where do I start?', only spanning the whole Church

I would be ruthlessly methodical. Start from where you live and find the closest communities, and work outwards from there. Make a map and cross them off as you contact/visit them Maybe if there are other communities that happen to be nearby, which have a somewhat similar outward life (e.g. Carmelites?) you could visit them too, just to test whether your Poor Clare hunch is right, and get a clearer idea of why you like them in particular.

It's fun! Once I got over the nerves, I liked writing to communities, and whaddya know, I'm entering the first one I wrote to. Happy birthday in advance!

[TheresaThoma]

One thing that I found was helpful was having a little life/faith journey written up for when you contact communities. For me it was always within the first couple of e-mails that the question was asked, "Can you tell me a little about yourself?". I had someone read mine over for me to make sure it didn't seem too scattered. Then I would make slight adjustments here and there for the different communities. (Most of the communities I have contacted though have been active communities though)
Most of all don't worry about how much you need to say in the first letter! A couple of orders I only filled out their online interest forms or sent a couple line e-mail and others I sent really long emails. It didn't seem to matter all that much either way, the VD's worked with me to get the information that they needed from me.
Good luck!

[Aya Sophia]

Seconding Marigold's suggestion re: starting geographically close to home and working out from there. It seems to make sense for someone younger just starting out to keep things simple by starting their inquiry close to home and, if nothing there, working their way out. You might very quickly come to the conclustion that in fact nothing close to you attracts you in the way of vocation and you need to look further afield but in the meantime you will have gotten comfortable with the inquiry process and your discernment will have a kind of stability and foundation from which to proceed - or, so it seems to me.

Also seconding TheresaThoma's suggestion to write up a little something on your faith journey/"about yourself" - this will probably be a helpful exercise for you too, not just for the communities with whom you're inquiring.

[Queen'sDaughter]

I was going to say to get a good spiritual advisor, but then I saw that you were talking with Father David Mary, so obviously you have that covered. Have you gone on retreat with any communities? I discovered what community God was calling me to while on retreat with the SSFPA sisters. Even if you do not enter their community, the time on retreat is very helpful. Sister Lois knows a Poor Clare community in Kokomo, I would talk to her and she will help you get in contact with them, if you would want too.

If you do visit the SSFPA sisters, tell Sister Lucia that her friend with the Benedictines says hi, and that she is praying for her!

[Pax_et bonum]

Thanks everyone. This has been helpful!

[quote name='Queen'sDaughter' timestamp='1319149830' post='2324368']
If you do visit the SSFPA sisters, tell Sister Lucia that her friend with the Benedictines says hi, and that she is praying for her!
[/quote]
I forgot to tell you! I hung out with her Sunday and passed on your message. She says hi back

Edit: 5 days!

Edited October 28, 2011 by Pax_et bonum

[Chiquitunga]

Three (edit: or four! ) of my favorite Poor Clare communities ..

1. [url="http://www.rockfordpoorclares.org/"]Poor Clare Colettines in Rockford, IL[/url] - some reasons .. first of all I LOVE the Colettine reform!! barefeet, yes!! and love St. Colette! they are very well established/beautiful old monastery, have a good number of vocations, made a foundation (Minooka, which I also love) I've heard so many great things about them from a couple who have discerned there/others who know them. I really like personally that they chose not to be part of the [url="http://www.religiouslife.com/w_pccfednmi.html"]Mary Immaculate Federation[/url] (not that it's bad, they are very very good!!! but there are meetings outside the enclosure (only a couple nuns from each monastery attend) every three years .. just a personal preference) They've published/helped put together a bunch of super great books like [url="https://www.tanbooks.com/index.php/Spiritual-Legacy-of-Sr-Mary-of-Holy-Trinity"][i]The Spiritual Legacy of Sr. Mary of the Holy Trinity[/i][/url] & [url="https://www.tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/722/keywords/blessed+celine/"][i]Blessed Marie Celine of the Presentation[/i][/url] And just a [i]ton[/i] of other reasons they are awe.some including our own PMer who entered there, Sr. Angela!

2. [url="http://archstl.org/category/tags/poor-clares"]OSCs in St. Louis[/url] - They are very much like the Colettines .. habit is for the most part identical, though they do wear sandals, they rise at midnight to pray Matins, etc. Their liturgy was beautiful when I visited on a "nun run" trip .. used a lot of Latin, etc. They have a good number of [url="http://www.catholic.org/national/national_story.php?id=18534"]vocations,[/url] and had to [url="http://stlouisreview.com/article/2010-12-01/poor-clares-announce"]expand their monastery[/url] in recent years. Mother Leo is just wonderful! same with the Novice Mistress. And last but not least, we also have a PMer who entered there, [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/user/6663-maria-faustina/"]Maria_Faustina[/url], though we don't know her new name.

3. [url="http://www.poorclarecolettines-cleveland.org/index.htm"]PCCs in Cleveland[/url] - first they are Colettines!! yes! They have Perpetual Adoration!! (I don't think I know of another PCC monastery that has this) they are well established and have a beautiful old monastery <-- sorry if that seems superficial, I just love the idea of being in a place with history .. like our beautiful centuries old Catholic Church something about an old monastery makes me want to give myself even more!! not sure if that makes sense Of course what should/really motivates us is our wonderful God and Him alone

4. [url="http://www.mtstfrancis.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=16&Itemid=9"]Poor Clares of the Immaculate in Italy[/url] (and [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/89825-poor-clares-of-the-immaculate/"]old thread[/url] of a PMer who visited them) last but absolutely not least, probably first!! I love the Franciscans of the Immaculate and their whole spirituality .. so naturally I love these Poor Clares!! I think this video on them says it all. Oh also, they are the only Poor Clares I know of with a double grille in their parlor and chapel. Happen to really like that

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3G1KmarrhR0[/media]

Edited October 28, 2011 by Chiquitunga

[krissylou]

1. Jamaica Plain! (OSC) They're around the corner from my house and I think it would be too amazing for words if a Phatmasser entered there! (Warning: their website is woefully out of date. The group picture shows a bunch of (very holy I am sure) old women, and there's one who celebrated her silver jubilee a couple years ago and she looks like the young 'un. But another section talks about how they have a whole new generation forming in the monastery and more interest than they've seen in decades, etc. So I think they DO have young people in formation, they just aren't good at updating the webpage. Busy praying, or something.)

But perhaps proximity to someone you've never met should not be the MAJOR factor in this decision.

2. Since you're starting out, I ALWAYS think it's a good idea to "window shop" and cast a wide net. Some people go in certain they're set for THE strictest, THE most traditional, etc etc etc. And maybe that's indeed where you'll end up. But at the early stages of discernment, look around at different sorts of communities. Say you think you want something traditional-but-still-sort-of-medium. Great. But also talk to a community that is markedly more traditional than you think would be a good fit. I didn't say enter. Get to know them well enough to have a sense of WHY someone would appreciate that life. And I'd also get to know a community that is markedly more progressive than you think you'd want. Again, I didn't say ENTER. But understand them well enough to understand why some people would be attracted there.

Maybe the "range" of communities you're attracted to will end up being reaffirmed, although this time in a richer way with a deeper appreciation of the various voices that make up the heavenly choir. Great! Or maybe God might surprise you. God can be sneaky that way.

3. Some people seem to get paralyzed before they get out of the gate ... "I keep praying and praying for God to tell me who to start writing to and it's been three years and I haven't gotten anything so when will God tell me where to start?" well sometimes God might hit us over the head like that but in my experience that often you just jump in, somewhere, and pray for guidance in and through the process.

[Pax_et bonum]

[quote name='krissylou' timestamp='1319843042' post='2328360']
2. Since you're starting out, I ALWAYS think it's a good idea to "window shop" and cast a wide net. Some people go in certain they're set for THE strictest, THE most traditional, etc etc etc. And maybe that's indeed where you'll end up. But at the early stages of discernment, look around at different sorts of communities. Say you think you want something traditional-but-still-sort-of-medium. Great. But also talk to a community that is markedly more traditional than you think would be a good fit. I didn't say enter. Get to know them well enough to have a sense of WHY someone would appreciate that life. And I'd also get to know a community that is markedly more progressive than you think you'd want. Again, I didn't say ENTER. But understand them well enough to understand why some people would be attracted there.

Maybe the "range" of communities you're attracted to will end up being reaffirmed, although this time in a richer way with a deeper appreciation of the various voices that make up the heavenly choir. Great! Or maybe God might surprise you. God can be sneaky that way.
[/quote]
If I ever visit your Poor Clares, Krissy, then I expect you to pick me up from the airport and take me over there

Before I had to stall my discernment, I was only looking at Colettine Poor Clares. This time around, I've decided to be more open to OSC communities. I loved that PCCs don't wear shoes because I only wear them when I can't avoid it--they're just so bothersome and so much work to put on and take off. Then I realized that if I did enter a community that wears shoes, it would be more of a penance! Yeah, I know that sounds stupid but that's me; I can be rather slow.


The OSCs in St. Louis look beautiful! I don't think I'll be able to make it to Italy for a visit though. Not with my parents the way they are. I need to look up communities in Louisiana so I can eat crawfish...

4 days!

Edited October 29, 2011 by Pax_et bonum