missionseeker Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 [url="http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html"]http://hyperboleanda...everything.html[/url] As a grammatically conscientious person who frequents internet forums and YouTube, I have found it necessary to develop a few coping mechanisms. When someone types out "u" instead of "you," instead of getting mad, I imagine them having only one finger on each hand and then their actions seem reasonable. If I only had one finger on each hand, I'd leave out unnecessary letters too! [center][url="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TE6VFyd_I/AAAAAAAACvo/Ki1d_7YPbAk/s1600/ALOT10.png"][img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TE6VFyd_I/AAAAAAAACvo/Ki1d_7YPbAk/s400/ALOT10.png[/img][/url][/center][left]If I come across a person who seems to completely ignore the existence of apostrophes and capital letters and types things like "im an eagle and im typing with my talons, so dont make fun of me cuz this is hard," I like to imagine that they actually [i]are[/i] an eagle typing with their talons. It would be a hassle if you had to hop in the air and use your feet to karate-chop two keys simultaneously every time you wanted to use the shift key to make a capital letter. Also, eagles lack manual dexterity, so I can understand why they'd want to leave out apostrophes. Eagles are all about efficiency. [/left][center][url="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TONhrAPgI/AAAAAAAACvw/zTQ0fyvjAy8/s1600/ALOT11.png"][img]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TONhrAPgI/AAAAAAAACvw/zTQ0fyvjAy8/s400/ALOT11.png[/img][/url][/center][left]But there is one grammatical mistake that I particularly enjoy encountering. It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase "alot" and condense it down into one word, because when someone says "alot," this is what I imagine:[/left][center][url="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TRIo4br3I/AAAAAAAACv4/Zh7_GcMlRKo/s1600/ALOT.png"][img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TRIo4br3I/AAAAAAAACv4/Zh7_GcMlRKo/s400/ALOT.png[/img][/url][/center][left]The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar. It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world. [/left][left]For example, when I read the sentence "I care about this alot," this is what I imagine:[/left][center][url="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TTPQCPA6I/AAAAAAAACwA/ZHZH-Bi8OmI/s1600/ALOT2.png"][img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TTPQCPA6I/AAAAAAAACwA/ZHZH-Bi8OmI/s400/ALOT2.png[/img][/url][/center][left]Similarly, when someone says "alot of _______", I picture an Alot made out of whatever they are talking about. [/left][center][url="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TWUJ0APWI/AAAAAAAACwI/014KRxexoQ0/s1600/ALOT3.png"][img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TWUJ0APWI/AAAAAAAACwI/014KRxexoQ0/s320/ALOT3.png[/img][/url][/center][center][url="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TWtWhXOfI/AAAAAAAACwQ/vCeUMPnMXno/s1600/ALOT9.png"][img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TWtWhXOfI/AAAAAAAACwQ/vCeUMPnMXno/s320/ALOT9.png[/img][/url][/center][center][url="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TW0Y2bL_I/AAAAAAAACwY/MGdywFA2tbg/s1600/ALOT8.png"][img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TW0Y2bL_I/AAAAAAAACwY/MGdywFA2tbg/s320/ALOT8.png[/img][/url][/center][center][url="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TZcKXqR-I/AAAAAAAACwg/F7AqxDrPjhg/s1600/ALOT13.png"][img]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TZcKXqR-I/AAAAAAAACwg/F7AqxDrPjhg/s320/ALOT13.png[/img][/url][/center][left]If someone says something like "I feel lonely alot" or "I'm angry alot," I'm going to imagine them standing there with an emo haircut, sharing their feelings with an Alot. [/left][center][url="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8Tdnn-NE0I/AAAAAAAACww/khYjZePN50Y/s1600/ALOT4.png"][img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8Tdnn-NE0I/AAAAAAAACww/khYjZePN50Y/s400/ALOT4.png[/img][/url][/center][left]The Alot is incredibly versatile.[/left][center][url="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TfVzrqKDI/AAAAAAAACw4/AaBFBmKK3SA/s1600/ALOT5.png"][img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TfVzrqKDI/AAAAAAAACw4/AaBFBmKK3SA/s320/ALOT5.png[/img][/url][/center][center][url="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TiTtIFjpI/AAAAAAAACxQ/HXLdiZZ0goU/s1600/ALOT14.png"][img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TiTtIFjpI/AAAAAAAACxQ/HXLdiZZ0goU/s320/ALOT14.png[/img][/url][/center][center][url="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TffVGLElI/AAAAAAAACxA/trH1ch0Y3tI/s1600/ALOT6.png"][img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TffVGLElI/AAAAAAAACxA/trH1ch0Y3tI/s320/ALOT6.png[/img][/url][/center][center][url="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TflwXvTgI/AAAAAAAACxI/qgd1wYcTWV8/s1600/ALOT12.png"][img]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TflwXvTgI/AAAAAAAACxI/qgd1wYcTWV8/s320/ALOT12.png[/img][/url][/center] [left]So the next time you are reading along and you see some guy ranting about how he is "alot better at swimming than Michael Phelps," instead of getting angry, you can be like "You're right! Alots are known for their superior swimming capabilities."[/left][center][url="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TpGRlt9eI/AAAAAAAACxY/qDqk63PhqGs/s1600/ALOT15.png"][img]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TpGRlt9eI/AAAAAAAACxY/qDqk63PhqGs/s400/ALOT15.png[/img][/url][/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 i liked this alot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixpence Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 he likes u too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 (edited) I liked ^ that alot. I do not like this alot <--- Edited October 11, 2011 by missionseeker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Monster Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 this is wierd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 wut do u have agianst me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 their where alot of ppl theyre u know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximilianus Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 a lot [img]http://www.ourtown50.com/us%2041%20stickney%2041%20empty%20lot.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 yes its oficial ... she had to much thyme on hur hands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Is the alot related to the apart? Because I like to be apart of my family, apart of the group, or apart of society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 That what happens when people move to this country and ain't learn to speak the English good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 alot of what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 [quote name='sammich maker' timestamp='1318333034' post='2319573'] alot of what? [/quote] coagulated milk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clare~Therese Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I like Alots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides quarens intellectum Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I want an alot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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