College

[Little Flower]

[quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1318544522' post='2320811']

Your eagerness is beautiful to see, and the honesty and candour with which you share your hopes and fears have often brought a smile to my face. [b]You're a very lively and enthusiastic woman, and you've got alot to give the world[/b]. But if alot of people in your life are suggesting that you need to mature a little bit more before you enter the religious life, as you have told us, then the wisest thing to do would be to listen to what they say and consider it prayerfully. Waiting is not a bad thing - think of Advent, think of Lent. Both are times of waiting - for birth, for redemption - and they are the times of the year that we associate with a chance to grow. It's no coincidence that we link waiting and growth together like that.

[b]Not only do you have alot to give, you're also very keen to give it[/b] - and these are great qualities to have. But unless people learn to understand and respect their limitations and their needs, generosity very quickly spills over into impulsiveness. Think of it like someone baking a cake for a beloved friend's birthday, someone who is so eager to get the cake to her friend that she keeps opening the oven door and prodding it to see if it's ready yet. The result is that the cake ends up looking flat and soggy and very sorry-looking, not quite the gift it could have been if the chef had only waited a bit. There is alot of love there, but not enough patience for that love to truly make itself felt.

Generosity is a gift of the whole heart, but impulsiveness pulls you away from that wholeness and peace - it tires you out, it makes you indecisive, it turns you stubborn and it tricks you into thinking that your life will be perfect once you've done this or that. I am like this myself, and I've had a long fight to overcome it. I'm still fighting now. At Christmas Mass a few years ago, when I was nineteen or twenty, I decided to ask God to show me some aspect of my character that I needed to alter or a quality that I should try to cultivate over the coming year. 'Patience' came to me. Exactly one year later, kneeling at the communion rails, I decided to make this an annual custom, and I asked for this year's little mission. The word flooded through me like the reverberations of a gong: "Patience!!" And I exclaimed mentally, "What, [i]again[/i]?!"

Some of your posts suggest that you have similar traits to me. At the moment you can be dismissive of people who suggest that your ideal course of action might not necessarily be the best, and sometimes it seems that you lose your temper a little bit. Emma's questions are still valid even if you are planning to enter an active community, and they do deserve some thought.
[/quote]
That was very good advice, I don't mean to detract from it at all. But I thought it was really funny, the bold stuff sounds like a horoscope!

ps a tall dark stranger lurks in your future

[the171]

[quote name='Little Flower' timestamp='1318561940' post='2320976']
That was very good advice, I don't mean to detract from it at all. But I thought it was really funny, the bold stuff sounds like a horoscope!

ps a tall dark stranger lurks in your future
[/quote]

Is he a kidnapper? because that's what it sounds like hahhhhaa

[beatitude]

No, a Benedictine. It's a tall dark stranger with an edging of white round the head and neck. I see it, it grows ever clearer...

[marigold]

Was just wondering if you'd had any more thoughts on this, the171?

[Pax_et bonum]

I think you're stressing about this too early. You still have a few years of high school left, yes? Visit and apply to college(s) when the time comes. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to go, but you have a back up plan if you can't enter right away. I just visited Holy Cross College (connected to Notre Dame, it's a very affordable Catholic college, btw). It was awe.some! If I do end up going to college, I know I'll have a blast. (Incidentally, I was invited to go to Mass and Mission Team tomorrow night because the DSMME will be there!) But at the same time, I feel like this period of my discernment is ending; I want to go on to the next step and try my vocation. If that works out, then great! I'll know I'll be so happy! If not, I know I have Holy Cross to come back home to.

[the171]

[quote name='marigold' timestamp='1320535257' post='2332030']
Was just wondering if you'd had any more thoughts on this, the171?
[/quote]

Well, I might be graduating a year early. And I've just abandoned this to Him. He deals with it better than I.

[the171]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1320536600' post='2332047']
I think you're stressing about this too early. You still have a few years of high school left, yes? Visit and apply to college(s) when the time comes. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to go, but you have a back up plan if you can't enter right away. I just visited Holy Cross College (connected to Notre Dame, it's a very affordable Catholic college, btw). It was awe.some! If I do end up going to college, I know I'll have a blast. (Incidentally, I was invited to go to Mass and Mission Team tomorrow night because the DSMME will be there!) But at the same time, I feel like this period of my discernment is ending; I want to go on to the next step and try my vocation. If that works out, then great! I'll know I'll be so happy! If not, I know I have Holy Cross to come back home to.
[/quote]

One-two years. So I'll be going through, what is called, the "counselor ringer." anyone who even says they are considering NOT attending college is questioned by the counselors and they try to convince you, too. haaha but I am visiting UofD one day. Just because a graduate/friend from there is dead-set on me going ther.e haha

[Sister Marie]

Dear 171,

Maybe I read incorrectly but I think you alluded to the fact that you are about to be Confirmed. That is wonderful - Congrats! I do not know how old you are now but most communities will ask you to be Catholic for a certain amount of time before entering religious life (it may actually be a rule somewhere but I do not have time to look it up so please excuse my vagueness). Depending on how old you are now and how much time there is before you graduate high school you may need to wait longer anyway in which case, all this worrying would be in vain! However, I could be misunderstanding your situation and in that case - forget what I just said! I'm not criticizing either... I'm a chronic worrier so I'm always conscious of "wasted anxiety."

I don't think anyone can judge when someone else is ready for a commitment like religious life but can only speak to their own experience. My experience was that I entered after two years in college. I did not want to spend that long in school before entering but I was in a situation where I had an impediment to entrance. I went to a Catholic college and my community took on my student loans - they always take them on for women entering because they would need an education anyway for our apostolate.

I wasn't happy about the time I had to spend in college at the time but I can now see God's hand on it because I see the religious woman I am now. I think you need to ask yourself, "what kind of religious woman do I want to be?" My personal answer to that is that I desire to be passionately in love with God and in love with His people. I desire to give every gift He has given me to them in love and generosity. I desire to live an adventure with Him of total abandon and recklessness. I desire to share my being everyday with each sister with whom I live. I desire to struggle and fall, forgive and reconcile, love and die in my everyday life. I desire questions and uncertainty, providence and loss, radical risk taking and personal sacrifice. I would be able to live none of these if I did not have my feet firmly planted in a worldview that allowed me to be totally FREE in accepting this life. You need to do what will make you completely free to follow Him, to be the woman religious HE has called you to be. For me, college helped in giving me that freedom because it was what I needed to grow into the freedom of being a child of God in many different ways. For you it could be something else. For you, you might already be free. It is certainly worth questioning though.

Superiors are only one part of the equation... even if someone in community thinks you are ready it is still right and good to give worth to the words of others... after all they have been part of your life for much longer and know you better. Superiors can be wrong. Parents can be wrong. You have to be true to how God is speaking to your heart which is not necessarily what you want either. It is very difficult to know the difference between all of these which is where all the discernment comes into play. Its definitely difficult but there is a real blessing in authentically moving through that process. You know yourself better by the end of it which also manifests more freedom in your life to give yourself to God in whatever way He desires.

[the171]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1320551768' post='2332153']
Dear 171,

Maybe I read incorrectly but I think you alluded to the fact that you are about to be Confirmed. That is wonderful - Congrats! I do not know how old you are now but most communities will ask you to be Catholic for a certain amount of time before entering religious life (it may actually be a rule somewhere but I do not have time to look it up so please excuse my vagueness). Depending on how old you are now and how much time there is before you graduate high school you may need to wait longer anyway in which case, all this worrying would be in vain! However, I could be misunderstanding your situation and in that case - forget what I just said! I'm not criticizing either... I'm a chronic worrier so I'm always conscious of "wasted anxiety."

I don't think anyone can judge when someone else is ready for a commitment like religious life but can only speak to their own experience. My experience was that I entered after two years in college. I did not want to spend that long in school before entering but I was in a situation where I had an impediment to entrance. I went to a Catholic college and my community took on my student loans - they always take them on for women entering because they would need an education anyway for our apostolate.

I wasn't happy about the time I had to spend in college at the time but I can now see God's hand on it because I see the religious woman I am now. I think you need to ask yourself, "what kind of religious woman do I want to be?" My personal answer to that is that I desire to be passionately in love with God and in love with His people. I desire to give every gift He has given me to them in love and generosity. I desire to live an adventure with Him of total abandon and recklessness. I desire to share my being everyday with each sister with whom I live. I desire to struggle and fall, forgive and reconcile, love and die in my everyday life. I desire questions and uncertainty, providence and loss, radical risk taking and personal sacrifice. I would be able to live none of these if I did not have my feet firmly planted in a worldview that allowed me to be totally FREE in accepting this life. You need to do what will make you completely free to follow Him, to be the woman religious HE has called you to be. For me, college helped in giving me that freedom because it was what I needed to grow into the freedom of being a child of God in many different ways. For you it could be something else. For you, you might already be free. It is certainly worth questioning though.

Superiors are only one part of the equation... even if someone in community thinks you are ready it is still right and good to give worth to the words of others... after all they have been part of your life for much longer and know you better. Superiors can be wrong. Parents can be wrong. You have to be true to how God is speaking to your heart which is not necessarily what you want either. It is very difficult to know the difference between all of these which is where all the discernment comes into play. Its definitely difficult but there is a real blessing in authentically moving through that process. You know yourself better by the end of it which also manifests more freedom in your life to give yourself to God in whatever way He desires.
[/quote]

I'm 15, confirming as a sophomore (more like jophomore...) {a year earlier than our diocese norm. yeah } so I'm not converting aha .
Thank you soo much for your input. Means A LOT

[TheresaThoma]

Another idea for college, maybe try going part time, and working. I have been able to find a college that has low enough tuition that my part time job as a hostess pays for everything. Thus I'm not incurring any (more) debt. I also don't feel tied down to a typical four year program.This might appease all parties involved.
I know I have gained much more maturity and many more "people skills" through both school and work.

Sr Marie, about converts having to wait before entering I don't think there is a rule. I couldn't find anything on a quick search through Canon Law. The only thing that I could see is you have to be 17 to be admitted to the Novitiate and you have to show proof of Baptism and Confirmation.([url="http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P24.HTM"]http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P24.HTM[/url]) In my own experience it seems to vary from order to order how long they ask you to be Catholic. Though the most common one I have come across is 2 years. If anyone knows anything different please correct me!

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1320549086' post='2332133']

One-two years. So I'll be going through, what is called, the "counselor ringer." anyone who even says they are considering NOT attending college is questioned by the counselors and they try to convince you, too. haaha but I am visiting UofD one day. Just because a graduate/friend from there is dead-set on me going ther.e haha
[/quote]

You could also come to my school....our Catholic center is amesome and there are quite a few discerning souls (and I am FINALLY going to meet them now that I'm on the diocesan list! )

And tell your counselors that you are called to religious life. Your school is in a very Catholic area (and it's probably because your diocese has some really amesome priests and an adorable bishop!) , and chances are there should be a few supporters, even at your school!

[the171]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1320612320' post='2332284']

You could also come to my school....our Catholic center is amesome and there are quite a few discerning souls (and I am FINALLY going to meet them now that I'm on the diocesan list! )

And tell your counselors that you are called to religious life. Your school is in a very Catholic area (and it's probably because your diocese has some really amesome priests and an adorable bishop!) , and chances are there should be a few supporters, even at your school!
[/quote]

Our diocese only has a list for seminarians. Tell your bishop to give our bishop this idea. xD

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1320624296' post='2332346']

Our diocese only has a list for seminarians. Tell your bishop to give our bishop this idea. xD
[/quote]

Tell mine too!

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1320624296' post='2332346']

Our diocese only has a list for seminarians. Tell your bishop to give our bishop this idea. xD
[/quote]

Well, it's email update list. And perhaps I could tell your bishop, as I'm going to be there in the coming months....And I'm going to be seeing MY bishop next weekend!

[the171]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1320612320' post='2332284']

And tell your counselors that you are called to religious life. Your school is in a very Catholic area (and it's probably because your diocese has some really amesome priests and an adorable bishop!) , and chances are there should be a few supporters, even at your school!
[/quote]

This sub-area is anti-Catholic, and many if not most Catholics are not practicing/critical of the Church. New diocese means many problems. (Bishop P is only our THIRD bishop. Our first is still ALIVE. :D)

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1320624436' post='2332350']

Well, it's email update list. And perhaps I could tell your bishop, as I'm going to be there in the coming months....And I'm going to be seeing MY bishop next weekend!
[/quote]

attend the Cathedral's 2:00 latin mass :D