AccountDeleted Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 [quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1318377204' post='2319882'] But again, as you will be under 18 you need to listen to your parent's advice and come to decisions that they are happy with too. [/quote] Of course, while she is still in high school she must listen to her parents. And even after, it would be good to have them supporting her decision, but I am assuming that after high school, she will be 18 and able to make her own decision, and parents are not always happy with the decisions their kids make. I know that I did not want my daughter to leave home at 18 because I believed she should go to college first too. But I am so proud of her now and so glad to see that she is happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 If you do end up going, I recommend a good Catholic College. Try to be a Theology major like me. I don't see what the point is of going to college if you're going to be in a cloister though. But what I would rather be doing is traveling right now. The stress of school is getting to me so I'm not in the best mood at the present time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 My concern, Allyson, is that what happens if the cloister isn't for you? What happens if you stay 5 years and then leave? I think it's better to just wait the few years, finish your education, grow up, get life experience and then enter the cloister. I know you shouldn't enter thinking you will ever leave, but we have all learned from other posters that this often happens - sometimes more than once. It's only a few years - who knows - maybe you will cultivate some talents in school that would be useful in the monastery. Em Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I didn't add that up there, but I just wanted to restate that only you can make that decision... we can definitely offer our opinions on here, but they are just our opinions. What we can offer though, is prayers and solidarity. As you can see, you've got people on all sides- No college, catholic college, public college. But know that I am praying that above all, these next few years be a time to focus on your relationship with Him! Then, he will lead you exactly where you need to be! Vocation station is amesome, isn't it??? Where else would you find so many people discerning? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 (edited) Also, the solid Catholic colleges in the U.S. tend to be expensive. Steubenville only gives loans. Make sure that you do your homework as far as tuition costs, financial aid, working during the summers, work study jobs, and how much your parents can afford. You said that you'll be 17 when you graduate. How long after you graduate will you be 18 because at that age you can go without the consent of your parents if you decide that entering the convent instead of college is what God is calling you to do? It seems like in our society everyone says to go to college right after high school but it isn't for everyone. You can become mature in the convent or if you want to do something like NET ministries or work right after high school until you're 18. Edited October 12, 2011 by tinytherese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 You know... in the case of the maturity argument... I honestly think a young person matures [i]better[/i] in the convent than in college! College really doesn't give you much in the way of real world experience. Not to say college is bad- just that's a whole different experience in of itself which is nothing like the real world. When in college, you can choose whether or not you're going to be responsible. You can make bad decisions. You can live off of top ramen. In the convent, you are taught to be a well-rounded woman. You are given responsibilities. You learn a heck of alot about how to clean and cook and take care of things. Hm. Yeah, I think the convent usualy tends to help young people mature more quickly than does a college campus. But that's just my experience, having seen both (with barely 18 year olds in the convent now). The key, I think, is in the formators. If they know how to interact with people of different ages, then they can best do their job for the good of the young person entering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Yes everyone says I need to mature more before I enter but I enjoy what TB just said! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I agree with most of what you write, Teresa Benedicta, but I would point out that there is more to maturity than learning how to clean and cook and take care of practical things. There is emotional maturity as well, and people definitely need a certain measure of this before they enter religious life. College can be a good way of deepening this, as you are placed with a diverse group of personalities (some of whom won't be to your natural tastes at all!). You also have the opportunity to teach yourself to persevere with things that you find difficult or simply don't like very much. Of course, it's possible to choose to cut class or to complain all the time about this roommate and that homework. College won't force you to mature. But nothing can force maturity, not even a convent. It has to be a conscious choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pax_et bonum Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 [quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1318459955' post='2320328'] College can be a good way of deepening this, as you are placed with a diverse group of personalities (some of whom won't be to your natural tastes at all!). You also have the opportunity to teach yourself to persevere with things that you find difficult or simply don't like very much. Of course, it's possible to choose to cut class or to complain all the time about this roommate and that homework. College won't force you to mature. But nothing can force maturity, not even a convent. It has to be a conscious choice. [/quote] I'm not trying to be contrary, but imho it seems that this applies to entering a convent as well. The convent can be a good way of deepening this, as you are placed with a diverse group of personalities (some of whom won't be to your natural tastes at all!). You also have the opportunity to teach yourself to persevere with things that you find difficult or simply don't like very much. Of course, it's possible to choose to cut prayer or to complain all the time about this sister and that duty. The convent won't force you to mature. But nothing can force maturity, not even college. It has to be a conscious choice. So it could go either way, it depends on the person. God knows which is best for each of us, and He'll lead us there. I second NET. I have a peer who's doing it this year, and if it becomes clear I won't be entering next year, I want to apply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 As we see, there are as many opinions as there are people to give them, and all of them have validity. In the end it comes down to the individual and their own situation, and no decision is guaranteed to be free from errors, so we do just have to take each step according to our own (well formed) conscience and then leave the rest up to God in His infinite mercy. Prayers for your discernment - whatever your final choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graciela Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Just wanted to add another consideration. Even if one's call is to cloistered life and enters and makse solemn vows, when having some college or life/work experience beyond high school would bring valuable knowledge and skills to the community. Even monasteries need folks who know how to deal with the outside world wisely- someone needs to be prioress ! While life experience and college education would certainly not be the main consideration in selecting leadership in a monastery, I can tell you from experience that it does come in to consideration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 [quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1318468734' post='2320390'] As we see, there are as many opinions as there are people to give them, and all of them have validity. In the end it comes down to the individual and their own situation, and no decision is guaranteed to be free from errors, so we do just have to take each step according to our own (well formed) conscience and then leave the rest up to God in His infinite mercy. Prayers for your discernment - whatever your final choice. [/quote] Amen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the171 Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 [quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1318447176' post='2320256'] Also, the solid Catholic colleges in the U.S. tend to be expensive. Steubenville only gives loans. Make sure that you do your homework as far as tuition costs, financial aid, working during the summers, work study jobs, and how much your parents can afford. You said that you'll be 17 when you graduate. How long after you graduate will you be 18 because at that age you can go without the consent of your parents if you decide that entering the convent instead of college is what God is calling you to do? It seems like in our society everyone says to go to college right after high school but it isn't for everyone. You can become mature in the convent or if you want to do something like NET ministries or work right after high school until you're 18. [/quote] WHY DID I NOT THINK ABOUT THAT???? You're a GOD-SENT. I'd turn 18 the September after I graduate. I don't know how I didn't think about that. YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 [quote name='Emma' timestamp='1318445880' post='2320245'] My concern, Allyson, is that what happens if the cloister isn't for you? What happens if you stay 5 years and then leave? I think it's better to just wait the few years, finish your education, grow up, get life experience and then enter the cloister. I know you shouldn't enter thinking you will ever leave, but we have all learned from other posters that this often happens - sometimes more than once. It's only a few years - who knows - maybe you will cultivate some talents in school that would be useful in the monastery. Em [/quote] FYI, I'm not going into a cloister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 [quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1318539553' post='2320771'] FYI, I'm not going into a cloister. [/quote] Your eagerness is beautiful to see, and the honesty and candour with which you share your hopes and fears have often brought a smile to my face. You're a very lively and enthusiastic woman, and you've got alot to give the world. But if alot of people in your life are suggesting that you need to mature a little bit more before you enter the religious life, as you have told us, then the wisest thing to do would be to listen to what they say and consider it prayerfully. Waiting is not a bad thing - think of Advent, think of Lent. Both are times of waiting - for birth, for redemption - and they are the times of the year that we associate with a chance to grow. It's no coincidence that we link waiting and growth together like that. Not only do you have alot to give, you're also very keen to give it - and these are great qualities to have. But unless people learn to understand and respect their limitations and their needs, generosity very quickly spills over into impulsiveness. Think of it like someone baking a cake for a beloved friend's birthday, someone who is so eager to get the cake to her friend that she keeps opening the oven door and prodding it to see if it's ready yet. The result is that the cake ends up looking flat and soggy and very sorry-looking, not quite the gift it could have been if the chef had only waited a bit. There is alot of love there, but not enough patience for that love to truly make itself felt. Generosity is a gift of the whole heart, but impulsiveness pulls you away from that wholeness and peace - it tires you out, it makes you indecisive, it turns you stubborn and it tricks you into thinking that your life will be perfect once you've done this or that. I am like this myself, and I've had a long fight to overcome it. I'm still fighting now. At Christmas Mass a few years ago, when I was nineteen or twenty, I decided to ask God to show me some aspect of my character that I needed to alter or a quality that I should try to cultivate over the coming year. 'Patience' came to me. Exactly one year later, kneeling at the communion rails, I decided to make this an annual custom, and I asked for this year's little mission. The word flooded through me like the reverberations of a gong: "Patience!!" And I exclaimed mentally, "What, [i]again[/i]?!" Some of your posts suggest that you have similar traits to me. At the moment you can be dismissive of people who suggest that your ideal course of action might not necessarily be the best, and sometimes it seems that you lose your temper a little bit. Emma's questions are still valid even if you are planning to enter an active community, and they do deserve some thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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