Lilllabettt Posted October 8, 2011 Author Share Posted October 8, 2011 I am just going to try get through fall break (2 days in October). Something has to give. I started crying when I woke up at 8 o'clock this morning and have not stopped since. That is like 7 hours of crying, straight. While the tears are good for my complexion the facial contortions cause wrinkles. I found out that they have just laid a bunch of teachers so if I do quit there will be someone with experience to take over. Oh but it would be such a failure! I wish I had better coping skills .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regina_coeli Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 i think nunsense and incarnatewordsister have the right idea. First year teaching in a self contained classroom is hard, hard,hard. I know you only through your postings, but when you went back to college you set very high standards for yourself. You still want to do the best possible job, but in a totally new environment. I am a teacher, and the first time with a new class or new material is exhausting. The second time, you get to build on that foundation, to refine what you have created. That's when it starts to be fun. Most first year teachers have student taught. You are right in there with no training wheels or supervising teacher. But ..... You are smarter than most, and you have all of us praying for you. Keep reaching out to all your support systems, and if a therapist would help take the edge off, find one. Does your roommate share experiences? You are not the first to feel this way, and I know you will find the path God has set for you. blessings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1318105159' post='2318088'] I am just going to try get through fall break (2 days in October). Something has to give. I started crying when I woke up at 8 o'clock this morning and have not stopped since. That is like 7 hours of crying, straight. While the tears are good for my complexion the facial contortions cause wrinkles. I found out that they have just laid a bunch of teachers so if I do quit there will be someone with experience to take over. Oh but it would be such a failure! I wish I had better coping skills .... [/quote] You are not a failure! The fact that you actually went there is a huge accomplishment. We all need to have lessons in every stage of life. Sometimes they are not the right steps, but we take them and they make us stronger. Do you remember what you said to me when I had to come home early from the Carmelite DCJ Sisters? [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/94203-looking-in-a-different-direction/page__p__1871705#entry1871705"]Linked from post #2:[/url] [quote] prayers. don't feel bad. Learning any kind of new job is hard; any kind of "training" phase is like that. Learning a new job taking care of kids is doubly stressful because making mistakes with kids is different from making mistakes with a file folder. I worked for a year in a Head Start in DC, so I definitely understand "at risk" children can be even tougher to handle. Plus I know you said before it'd been awhile since you worked. It's true a lot of people look at good sleeping and good eating as signs of a vocation. (That was never a problem for me because I'm a human garbage disposal with the sleep cycle of a house cat.) Don't worry about your family. They'll be okay; please don't let their disappointment hurt you. If you are looking at the world through the eyes of faith, things are different. People without the eyes of faith might not understand that this is not a failure, just a stepping stone to something else. Be patient with them [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif[/img] all will be well. [/quote] It was good advice then and it's good advice now. Sometimes we just need people to remind us of what we already know. I know you can figure this thing out, Lilllabettt. You are intelligent. If your health and sanity is suffering, it might just be time to hand the reins to someone else. Prayers for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 I've had jobs I couldn't hack, and some I just hated, but they didn't make me cry. I was mad, unhappy, irritated or just sick, but not despondent. This sounds like something different. It's time for a trip to the doctor. Have your hormones and especially thyroid checked. Blood sugar issues can also cause some of this stuff. If the physical is eliminated, then on to be tested for depression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1318105159' post='2318088']I found out that they [b]have just laid a bunch of teachers[/b] so if I do quit there will be someone with experience to take over. [/quote] i know you meant something else...but this is pretty funny. hope i made you smile, at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1318118465' post='2318162'] i know you meant something else...because this is pretty funny. hope i made you smile, at least. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1318118066' post='2318155'] I've had jobs I couldn't hack, and some I just hated, but they didn't make me cry. I was mad, unhappy, irritated or just sick, but not despondent. This sounds like something different. It's time for a trip to the doctor. Have your hormones and especially thyroid checked. Blood sugar issues can also cause some of this stuff. If the physical is eliminated, then on to be tested for depression. [/quote] Oh I'm depressed. Definitely depressed. I asked my program director to refer me to a therapist, but he said he wanted me to wait and try these strategies for time management first. le sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4588686 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I am baking a cake for a friend's birthday. Like everything associated with me, my cakes are amesome. If you can make it to Chapel Hill, NC I will bake you a cake too. If you like Raspberry I can make you a really amesome cake.Depression. Gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1318129611' post='2318250'] Oh I'm depressed. Definitely depressed. I asked my program director to refer me to a therapist, but he said he wanted me to wait and try these strategies for time management first. le sigh. [/quote] All you have to say is that you are potentially suicidal. That's usually all it takes to get to the front of the line and cut through red tape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1318130998' post='2318269'] All you have to say is that you are potentially suicidal. That's usually all it takes to get to the front of the line and cut through red tape. [/quote] I thought about using that line ... I'm afraid to though. It's kind of a serious things to say and you can't "un-say" it. Say it to the wrong person and they'll have you hospitalized. I can see them carrying me off while I whine "I said POTENTIALLY!"p.s. i like cake. a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4588686 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1318131295' post='2318278'] p.s. i like cake. a lot. [/quote] Then the next time you are in the area there shall be one awaiting you. But don't spread this around. I'm not running a damned charity here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 [quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1318131425' post='2318282'] Then the next time you are in the area there shall be one awaiting you. But don't spread this around. I'm not running a damned charity here. [/quote] promises, promises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted October 9, 2011 Author Share Posted October 9, 2011 [quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1318118465' post='2318162'] i know you meant something else...but this is pretty funny. hope i made you smile, at least. [/quote] i lol'd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1318133876' post='2318350']i lol'd[/quote] i'm glad. on topic, i don't have any wise words of advice, just prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Praying, Lillla. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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