Colwich Benedictine Monastery

[Aya Sophia]

Prayers here too . . ..

[InPersonaChriste]

Prayers for you nunsense!
It is indeed a wonderful thing that you are still open to Jesus' call! I love the Benedictine order

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1318515428' post='2320609']
Prayers for you nunsense!
It is indeed a wonderful thing that you are still open to Jesus' call! I love the Benedictine order
[/quote]


Thank you, and thanks to everyone who is praying for me. Obviously at my age, and with all my previous attempts, I need as many prayers as I can get

When I left this last Carmel, I wasn't sure if I would ever post on phatmass again because I felt so discouraged about all my efforts and 'failures', but then I realised that maybe others might feel the same way about their own previous attempts, and it would be good for us to encourage each other. Whatever decision a person makes, whether to continue discerning religious life, take private vows, or even just live one day at a time and wait for more clarity, we all need to feel good about ourselves and I have found that there is alot of support and encouragement to do that here on VS.

I think one of the things that helped me the most was a letter from a friend, a Benedictine priest who had given me some spiritual direction while he was in Australia (he is from England). When I told him about my many, many failures at religious life and my loss of hope because of my 'great age', this was his response...

[i]As to the spiiritual question of perseverance. I don't think that it is too late. If the Lord has continued to put the thought in your mind then you must investigate further. This is best done by correspondence and visiting. You must disclose your previous noviciates at the outset of making contact but don't be worried. Three Abbesses I know were late vocations with several noviciates behind them![/i]

These few words were so encouraging to me that I finally began to think about religious life again, and because he is a Benedictine (as was my first spiritual director who started me on the path), my thoughts then began to turn towards the Benedictine vocation. If this Order could produce such beautiful and holy souls as these two priests, I thought it was worth further investigation. Previously, I had been closed to all but Carmelite communities as I have such a strong love for St John of the Cross and St Teresa of Avila. I thought only the Carmelites would understand me! But in fact, the funny thing is that the same spirit that was in St Teresa and St John seemed ot be lacking in most of the Carmels I was in. In fact one Prioress told me that if any of her nuns ever had a mystical experience, she would give them castor oil to get over it! I wonder what Teresa would have thought of that!

The point is, that once I was open to something other than Carmel, I started to realise how well I would fit into a Benedictine spirituality and religious life and have been developing a deep attraction for the life. I am looking forward so much to the visit next year and hope that finally this square peg will find a hole that fits! I won't dwell on the pain and suffering that I have been through over the past five years because I know so many of you have experienced similar (or worse) things in your discernment, but know that I share all this pain with you and have been supported by you all as well.

I appreciate all of your prayers but you mustn't stop yet! And whatever the future holds (some will worry that I am building myself up to another disappointment) I know that what I have taken away with me from every trial has been a deeper trust in God's love for me. It's funny, but the more one suffers, the more one can see God's kindness - isn't that strange? Almost doesn't make sense, but still it's true! Maybe that's what they mean by redemptive suffering, I don't know. But it's kind of getting a reward. That's why I like St Paul's statement that the suffering we endure in this life is nothing compared with the joy we will experience in heaven. Because if we can see a reward even in this life, how much more beautiful will be the next?

Prayers for all of you too, whatever phase your discernment is in!

[brandelynmarie]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1318550251' post='2320831']
[i]As to the spiiritual question of perseverance. I don't think that it is too late. If the Lord has continued to put the thought in your mind then you must investigate further. This is best done by correspondence and visiting. You must disclose your previous noviciates at the outset of making contact but don't be worried. Three Abbesses I know were late vocations with several noviciates behind them![/i]
Prayers for all of you too, whatever phase your discernment is in!
[/quote]


This gives me much hope, that no matter where I have been in my life, or what I have done, I believe He keeps asking me to be a nun. I have said, "Lord, if you are foolish enough to have me...I'm yours!" Yes, we must investigate further...to quote the Narnia book [u]The Last Battle, [/u]"Come further up & further in!"


Oh & more too.

Edited October 14, 2011 by brandelynmarie

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='brandelynmarie' timestamp='1318558254' post='2320934']


This gives me much hope, that no matter where I have been in my life, or what I have done, I believe He keeps asking me to be a nun. I have said, "Lord, if you are foolish enough to have me...I'm yours!" Yes, we must investigate further...to quote the Narnia book [u]The Last Battle, [/u]"Come further up & further in!"


Oh & more too.
[/quote]


Well, that's wonderful because then my posting here makes sense to me - after all we can support each other through our experiences. No matter what happens to me in the future, the whole point is to trust in God and love Him for everything that we receive, not just the stuff that seems good !!

I am praying for you and everyone else too.

[Lisa]

Oh, Nunsense! I know I don't always say it (because I fear I often sound like a broken record), I am keeping you all in my prayers. I've offered up several prayers for your specific intentions the past few days and keep checking back to see if there are any updates!

Your posts are inspiring. We are called to love him not just till it hurts. We are called to love him-and be loved by Him- all the way onto the Cross. You have lived that out, and challenge us to do the same! Thank you!

Edited October 14, 2011 by Lisa

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1318562646' post='2320983']
Oh, Nunsense! I know I don't always say it (because I fear I often sound like a broken record), I am keeping you all in my prayers. I've offered up several prayers for your specific intentions the past few days and keep checking back to see if there are any updates!

Your posts are inspiring. We are called to love him not just till it hurts. We are called to love him-and be loved by Him- all the way onto the Cross. You have lived that out, and challenge us to do the same! Thank you!
[/quote]

What a wonderful broken record you are! I can never hear too often that people are praying for me so thank you over and over like a broken record too.

I heard today from a dear friend of mine who started living a hermit life about the same time I did last year when I moved to the bush. He stayed in the city, as an urban hermit, but he is retired now and doesn't have to work, so attends daily Mass and prays the Office (although he does it in Latin while I only do it in English ). He was the person who drove me to the airport the last time I entered Carmel and he was as upset as I was when things didn't work out, and he has been so supportive of me. He remembered me because tomorrow (Saturday) is St Teresa of Avila's feast day and he knows how much I love her. Although it was lovely hearing his little bits of news since the last time we wrote to each other, the most important thing for me is that he is still praying for me. I can't tell you how important prayer is to me, both as something that I do for others and as the grateful recipient of other's prayers.

So know that even if I have nothing new to update all the time, I am always imploring help from my brothers and sisters through prayer.

The only news I have in my personal life is that I am waiting for delivery of the transcription kit, which includes headphones and a footpedal that connect to my computer so I can use it like a transcription machine! Then I will be able to get started on the part-time work that will be sent to me. I am hoping that this work works out well because it would be good to cut back on the hostel hours, as they really mess up the prayer routine, as I like to recite the whole seven hours of the Divine Office every day. One of the things I miss the most about religious life, is the structure and routine all centred around prayer. There is alot to do each day, but the central focus is prayer, and everything else works around that. If I were doing more transcription work and less hostel work, I could try to organise my schedule around this as well. Right now I feel as if I am cheating God by making the hostel work the priority and the Office has to fit in around that. I know He understand, I have to earn an income, but think how much better it would be if I could do my transcription work around the Office!!

Anyway, I sound like I am complaining, and I'm not. I am so grateful to have any work at all, and there are many wonderful aspects of working with the elderly that I love, so I praise God for that as well.

The request for annual leave has been put in, the flights checked out, and if God wills it, I should be able to book a ticket in the next few weeks. I don't want to live for the future, but each step must be taken as it comes up. See why prayers are needed all the time?

Thank you, thank you, thank you......

[AccountDeleted]

I trust God completely and know that all is in His hands. But like everyone, sometimes I get a little down. I don't know if it is just tiredness or those horrible female hormones that interfere so much all the time, but right now I do not feel hopeful. I feel old and useless and unwanted. Please pray for me.

I love Him anyway, but I hurt. Thank you all.

[bernadette d]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1318933879' post='2323095']
I trust God completely and know that all is in His hands. But like everyone, sometimes I get a little down. I don't know if it is just tiredness or those horrible female hormones that interfere so much all the time, but right now I do not feel hopeful. I feel old and useless and unwanted. Please pray for me.

I love Him anyway, but I hurt. Thank you all.
[/quote]

I feel there are great graces in store for you. I saw your post as we were driving home and offered the 5 Sorrowful Mysteries for you,God Bless

[Aya Sophia]

You are [u]deeply[/u] loveable and loved and infinitely valueable in the eyes of the Lord - you know this, I'm sure, in the deeps of yourself. In the less-deeps you're [u]feeling[/u] it may not be so, but of course, our feelings have naught to do with our objective worth or the Lord's love for us. Still, feelings are feelings and only robots don't have them. God made us emotional beings, fully intending feelings to be part of the package He created and finds so beautiful - so, we live with the beauty and the suffering of our feelings.

Talking on the phone y'day to a dear friend in NY, Natalie, who is very elderly - 91 this coming January - she said something that moved me very much. She was married for 54 years - her husband died of cancer on 9/11. Since then she has persevered alone in faith and a suffering love. Over these years she would often say she missed her husband, she feels "lonesome" with out him, she has no one to love and share with, etc. Well, yesterday she said something unprecedented. She was speaking to enourage me (we are a our own two-member mutual encouragement society) but she was also speaking of herself: "Only Jesus can be the other half of our mould." Coming from her, from she who, until age 80, had never been alone and has for many years grieved the terrible absence of her dearest friend on earth, this was a startling "word" and made a deep impression on me - it was something I already knew, of course, but, like most spiritual truths, had forgotten for the moment, caught up in whatever I was caught up. It gave me hope and joy to remember: we cannot find our fulfillment in anything but the Lord HIMSELF, meaning, not in His gifts, His plans for us, etc. and (here's where the hope and joy come in), in seeking our completion and fulfillment in Him, we have a sure promise of finding it.

As much to self (now and esp a month from now, when returned to Carmel) as to Nunsense and others VS hearts filled with longing for the Lord: Let the Lord be the "other half of your mould," in all things. Let Him complete you and fill your emptiness which He created specifically to be filled with Himself.

[AccountDeleted]

I have slowly been making my way through every one of the blog posts on the Colwich Novitiate site from July 2007 - Sept 2011 (still reading) when I came across this lovely post from Mother Davina (Abbess) and thought I would share it with you all. The link for it is at
[url="http://colwichnov.wordpress.com/2010/07/"]http://colwichnov.wo...ss.com/2010/07/[/url]



[b] [url="http://colwichnov.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/i-asked-god/"]‘I asked God….’[/url][/b]

Posted on [url="http://colwichnov.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/i-asked-god/"]4 July, 2010[/url] by [url="http://colwichnov.wordpress.com/author/noviceship/"]noviceship[/url]| [url="http://colwichnov.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/i-asked-god/#comments"]3 Comments[/url]

[color=#ff00ff][b]Hello Folks…… [/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]Here’s just a short post on a light level with a good point behind it that i came across (yet again recently) so I though I’d share it with you………………[/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]‘I asked God to send me his friends…..he sent you.[/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]I asked God to take away my pain……God said, No, it is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.[/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]I asked God to grant me patience…….God said, No, Patience is a by product of tribulations it isn’t granted, it is earned.[/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]I asked God to give me happiness…..God said, No, I give you blessings, happiness is up to you.[/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]I asked God to spare me pain……God said, No, suffering draws you apart from wordly cares and brings you closer to me.[/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]I asked God to make my spirit grow……God said, No, you must grow on your own, but i will prune you to make you fruitful.[/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]I asked God for all things that i might enjoy life…….God said, No, I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.[/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]I asked God to help me LOVE others as much as He loves me……God said…Ahhh, finally! you have the idea’.[/b][/color]



[color=#ff00ff][b]We also had this given in a retreat a few years ago and i thought that it was brilliant.. [/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]God bless you all – we are abit breezy this end. By the way we have a ‘ASPIRANT’ with us again for 2 weeks so please her in your prayers – thank you![/b][/color]
[color=#ff00ff][b]Mother Davina[/b][/color]

[marigold]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1320051372' post='2329266']
I have slowly been making my way through every one of the blog posts on the Colwich Novitiate site from July 2007 - Sept 2011 (still reading) when I came across this lovely post from Mother Davina (Abbess) and thought I would share it with you all. The link for it is at
[url="http://colwichnov.wordpress.com/2010/07/"]http://colwichnov.wo...ss.com/2010/07/[/url]



[b] [url="http://colwichnov.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/i-asked-god/"]‘I asked God….’[/url][/b]

Posted on [url="http://colwichnov.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/i-asked-god/"]4 July, 2010[/url] by [url="http://colwichnov.wordpress.com/author/noviceship/"]noviceship[/url]| [url="http://colwichnov.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/i-asked-god/#comments"]3 Comments[/url]

[color=#FF00FF][b]Hello Folks…… [/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]Here’s just a short post on a light level with a good point behind it that i came across (yet again recently) so I though I’d share it with you………………[/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]‘I asked God to send me his friends…..he sent you.[/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]I asked God to take away my pain……God said, No, it is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.[/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]I asked God to grant me patience…….God said, No, Patience is a by product of tribulations it isn’t granted, it is earned.[/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]I asked God to give me happiness…..God said, No, I give you blessings, happiness is up to you.[/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]I asked God to spare me pain……God said, No, suffering draws you apart from wordly cares and brings you closer to me.[/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]I asked God to make my spirit grow……God said, No, you must grow on your own, but i will prune you to make you fruitful.[/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]I asked God for all things that i might enjoy life…….God said, No, I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.[/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]I asked God to help me LOVE others as much as He loves me……God said…Ahhh, finally! you have the idea’.[/b][/color]



[color=#FF00FF][b]We also had this given in a retreat a few years ago and i thought that it was brilliant.. [/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]God bless you all – we are abit breezy this end. By the way we have a ‘ASPIRANT’ with us again for 2 weeks so please her in your prayers – thank you![/b][/color]
[color=#FF00FF][b]Mother Davina[/b][/color]
[/quote]

That's lovely.

[Feankie]

That is truly a wonderful post by Mother Davina. I'm going to copy it and give it two young women in my parish who are discerning right now. I told them about VS, but I don't think they're ready to "go public" yet! Soon, soon.......

[TIWW]

Questions for anyone who might know, Is Colwich English Benedictine in affiliation or Independent? And how many sisters are in the community? I can not tell from their website. TIA

[marigold]

[quote name='TIWW' timestamp='1320097316' post='2329501']
Questions for anyone who might know, Is Colwich English Benedictine in affiliation or Independent? And how many sisters are in the community? I can not tell from their website. TIA
[/quote]

A little birdie told me they're in the English Benedictine Congregation. And I think they are 7.