Time Heals... Is That True?

[Adrestia]

hugs

[CatherineM]

My grandfather when I 18, my grandmother when I was 21, and my dad shortly after that. I also lost a nephew when I was a kid, and another one when I was 32. Each one was a different kind of pain. The hardest was my dad. I almost dropped out of school, then tried to flunk out. I was just responsible for myself, and not a job or a family and children. I could crash and not let anyone down but myself. Grief is a funny thing. It just doesn't go on our timeline or convenience. I drank, I gained weight then lost a bunch. I made bad decisions and did stupid things. If I had a pill to fix it, I'd win the Nobel. I think you might need some grief counseling.

[add]

remember that the deceased wants the family to smile and to be happy more than anything else.

[i]I know in my heart she desired the above, but it is just so freaking hard, to do[/i]!

[mariahLVzJP2]

My daughter's grandpa died this week.. she didnt get a chance to meet him (She's 5 months old). We heard amazing things about him. It was sad for me.

Good and happy memories always make me feel fortunate to have had those people (that have passed) in my life. Of course it takes some time to get to that point.. I believe time does heal.. but one can get sad sometimes yet still be happy and laugh as they remember the good times.

[brandelynmarie]

I have lost several loved ones in my life. I do not believe time heals it...I think as time goes by it becomes more bearable. I believe grieving (even frequently, even at the most inopportune times!) is so necessary. I have learned to compare grief to water. Over the years, it will come & go in waves. But the most important thing is to release it...experience it & then let it go...like water in a river. If your grief becomes stagnant, like water in a pond, it could become troublesome. I hope I am making sense. Peace & prayers!

Edited October 2, 2011 by brandelynmarie

[CatherineM]

I ditto the thing that they wouldn't want us to be sad. That thought is what got me off the beach and back to school. I knew my dad wouldn't have wanted me to unhappy because of him.

[marigold]

[quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1317384322' post='2312780']
Now I understand that grief is just a stage in love. It's necessary, and it will be with you for as long as you need it. It will stay until you have found another way of loving the person who has died. [/quote]

Wow. I never thought of it this way but it's so true.

I agree with the others, you learn to live with it. At first when someone's gone it's like you'll never stop crying, but - unbelievably - you eventually do, without it meaning that you've stopped caring about them. Anniversaries and stuff are difficult, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. What has helped me is to realise that you're not supposed to reach a point of clinical detachment from grief... you just figure out how to turn it into compassion. That's what I think Beatitude means by finding another way of loving them.

[Ash Wednesday]

Life is never the same. My mom died in 03, it was absolutely tragic on me and my family. Sometimes I still feel a little angry and robbed, or on bad days I still sometimes cry because I don't have her to talk to. It's left a hole and wound in my heart that will probably never go away as long as I walk this earth.

That being said, while life will never be the same, it gradually does get a little easier, bit by bit.

[Jesus_lol]

I can see this coming up in the next year or two with my dad. you shouldnt be able to grieve in advance.

[Birgitta Noel]

It gets better, but even when it's "better" you will still experience grief bursts where you least expect them. A smell, sound, song, etc. may move you to tears and you don't know why.

I walked by a hospital room one time and had to go back and look at the man in the bed because for a moment I swore it was my dad.

Hugs for you.

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

Pax domine bretheren and others...
Just read 1thessolonians and it says we should not grieve the loss of a brother or sister as the pagans do, without hope. Unsure what that means exactly ,possibly to hope there in heaven and we will see them again and that there okay. It doesn't specificaly say don't grieve, from what i can discern. Read it yourselves, is a very short book and can be read in under 30 minutes, i think i read it in 15.

God Bless you all

Edited October 3, 2011 by Tab'le Du'Bah-Rye

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

And hey talking of the beatitudes jesus' did say blessed are they that mourn, is there a differance between this mourning jesus' is talking of and the grief talked about in thessolonians? The bible can be kinda tricky like that.

[MIKolbe]

Does time heal?

No, God heals...though I think God uses time (among other things) in the healing process.

As an aside, perhaps some pain is a good thing as it can remind us of the redemptive aspects of suffering and can help to refocus us??

[dominicansoul]

my mom died in '06 and it changed the course of my life forever... i'll never get over it, all I do is long for that day when we meet again... i'm not afraid to die anymore, i'm actually looking forward to it...

i dont' tear up when i think of mom, or when i talk about her, because i lived 24/7 by her bedside as she lay dying for 10 long excruciating months... i mourned and wept all my tears looong before she passed away into eternal life... so sadly, I mourned for her even when she was still with me... when she passed away, it was like all my tears dried up, and I haven't really been emotional since. I've been numb...

To think she never has to suffer again has been my only consolation. Time won't heal this experience, but God has definitely given it value...

[missionseeker]

Sometimes, I think it helps to remember that Jesus shared our grief.

[quote] [sup]31[/sup]The Jews therefore, who were with her in the house, and comforted her, when they saw Mary that she rose up speedily and went out, followed her, saying: She goeth to the grave to weep there.
[sup]32[/sup]When Mary therefore was come where Jesus was, seeing him, she fell down at his feet, and saith to him: Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.
[sup]33[/sup]Jesus, therefore, when he saw her weeping, and the Jews that were come with her, weeping, groaned in the spirit, and troubled himself,
[sup]34[/sup]And said: Where have you laid him? They say to him: Lord, come and see.
[sup]35[/sup]And Jesus wept.
[sup]36[/sup]The Jews therefore said: Behold how he loved him.
[sup]37[/sup]But some of them said: Could not he that opened the eyes of the man born blind, have caused that this man should not die?
[sup]38[/sup]Jesus therefore again groaning in himself, cometh to the sepulchre. Now it was a cave; and a stone was laid over it.[/quote]


He knew what was going to happen, but He still wept at the temporary loss of his friend.