Where The Hell On God's Beautiful Big Green And Blue Planet Do I B

[Ice_nine]

In short: I'm a college student (a sophomore) attending university planning to either be a psychology major/anthropology double major or minor. People have always told me I'm intelligent and I have a gift. I'm not 100% sure if those people were smoking the reefer at the time they told me this, but I'd like to think I have some talents somewhere. I never felt that married life would be for me, I mean sometimes I think about it and it melts my heart, you know having a lover to give oneself too and being able to nurture little humans and all, and up until a few years ago figured I'd be a single working woman all my life son.

I've always have had interest in being a missionary and traveling to these remote and obscure places and after returning to the Catholic faith I have seriously considered entering a religious order. In the silence of solitude I feel that this may be the best way for me to offer myself in service to God and man. That may contain traveling to foreign lands, and it may not, the point is [i]I have absolutely no idea where to begin[/i].

It's almost embarrassing. Everyone here seems to have all this intuitive or ingrained understanding of how all this stuff works but I have no freaking idea where to even start. I'm intimidated by the wealth of knowledge on here (I am a bad Catholic ) and I just need a snippet of guidance to point me in the right direction before I go running off to a priest or spiritual director (how do you get one of them anyhow?) sounding like the biggest moron that ever did walk into the chapel.

I have some concerns that may be basic or obscure and weird. I'm on psychiatric medication and even though i plan to wean myself off it soon would that be a problem if I needed to remain on them? I like doing creative things, is their any leisure time in religious life or is it like hardcore praying 24 hours a day and only sleeping after you have attained a vision of a miraculous prophesy (I'm exaggerating a bit in case that wasn't clear ) What about education? I consider myself somewhat of an intellectual, which may seem presumptuous esp if you read the incoherent babble I post on here. Will I be able to study in a formal capacity in a Catholic institution after I get a BA in whatever university I'm in now? I say this because I think I may want to go into the mental health field (research or clinical I do not yet know) and obv you need some degrees for that sheet. I sort of remember that maybe there are Dominicans who offer mental health services, but this is just me being dumb again.

Thanks for reading! I know it's a bit tedious.

[maximillion]

Hi Ice Nine, I am an ex sister so maybe you don't want to listen to me, but here goes anyway!

Firstly, listen, in the silence of your heart listen for what He is saying, where He is calling.
Begin by deepening your prayer life now....this does not have to mean attending Church more, but that will help. Visits to the Blessed Sacrament to whisper your thoughts, fears, fantasies etc......
Secondly, put your ambitions into His hands....you will need to be prepared to make a Vow of Obedience, and while any community will naturally want to use your gifts, this may not be in the direction you think it should go. In fact, are you willing to give up all notion of where YOU want to go intellectually speaking? Ambition is fine - in His service and according to His desires rather than your own.

Yes, get a Spiritual Director. Others here will be better placed to give you advice on this as I never had one and don't have one now. But I would think it has to be someone inspired by God's expression of Himself through the Sisterhood, and who has an understanding of what the life entails.....this may not be true of your parish priest and you might be better off on line or by snail mail and phone.....

There are lots of Orders on here, have a good poke about, read the info on their websites and see what Charism you feel attracted too.
Enclosed Contemplatives do not have an active apostolate, their apostolate is prayer, so they would be the ones who pray 90% of the time (and sleep well the rest!)
Active Orders are those sisters who do stuff like nurse, teach, social work etc, and it sounds like this is what you are attracted to. At the base of both calls is a firm attraction to God for His Own sake, and a very active prayer life, centred always in the Eucharist, is important. Just how much time is spent in prayer varies from order to order. Those who style themselves as 'contemplatives in action' will be likely to have a more focused prayer life with more group/private prayer time.
I hope this helps in your first steps. Never consider yourself a moron in your discernment process - if you knew it all there would be no need for discernment!
Ask, ask, ask! Pray pray pray!
My prayers with and for you.......

[krissylou]

I think, just start somewhere. Get acquainted with a bunch of different communities that somehow catch your eye for whatever reason. It can be almost random at first.

It's much like marriage. I have a friend, who had a crush on a girl in his fourth grade class. She was not interested. He persisted (in a cute 9-year-old way, not scary stalker way) for TWO YEARS (a good chunk of his life at that stage) until the time came for their first school dance, and okay she agreed to go with him to the dance.

And that was it. They've been together ever since. Dated all the way through high school. Went to separate colleges, in separate cities, but were still "an item." Got married after grad school. Have three kids. Happy as clams.

That's such a sweet story. And it worked out great for them.

But most people aren't like that! Most of us date for a while, have several different relationships, and then the right person comes along and you just know that this one is different.

Some people have "romances" with communities that are much like my friend who has loved one woman since the age of nine. And that's great! But most people don't have stories like that. And that's fine too.

Start getting to know some, in the process learn what resonates with you and what doesn't, and in time you may start to narrow down on a community that could be right for you. But don't expect to know all that at the beginning of the process.

[dominicansoul]

watch "The Relunctant Saint"


you need neither talent or smarts to storm the Gates of Heaven.... just open your heart to Jesus, and watch your world flip upside down...

[Lisa]

First of all, visit the Blessed Sacrament. Take every advantage of Eucharist Adoration. He will speak to your heart; just give Him everything you have. I know that sounds scary, but look at everything we say about God: he is Love, He is merciful, etc. He's not going to leave you high and dry because you're relying on Him.

Also, don't worry about what the other people on here know. They've helped me so much since I came in here naive and ignorant; take advantage of their combined discerning experiences. For instance, if you like mission work, health care, etc. they can help point out communities that might "fit" you.

Spiritual direction- yes. yes. yes. First steps to find a spiritual director- pray about it. If there is a priest you love, you can ask him in confession (and that way, if you don't follow up with it/chicken out, then he can't bring it up ). If there are any sisters in your area, especially contemplatives, they might be able to do spiritual direction. Some dioceses have lists on their webpages, but that seems rare. At any rate, you can also ask your parish priest and see if he has any recommendations.

Don't be afraid to look at communities that pass by your way, even if they don't seem like they would be something for you. I've heard so many sisters that thought they left their hobbies/career fields, only to find them put to use in the convent.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1315374934' post='2301471']

I've always have had interest in being a missionary and traveling to these remote and obscure places and after returning to the Catholic faith I have seriously considered entering a religious order. In the silence of solitude I feel that this may be the best way for me to offer myself in service to God and man. That may contain traveling to foreign lands, and it may not, the point is [i]I have absolutely no idea where to begin[/i].

It's almost embarrassing. Everyone here seems to have all this intuitive or ingrained understanding of how all this stuff works but I have no freaking idea where to even start. I'm intimidated by the wealth of knowledge on here (I am a bad Catholic ) and I just need a snippet of guidance to point me in the right direction before I go running off to a priest or spiritual director (how do you get one of them anyhow?) sounding like the biggest moron that ever did walk into the chapel.

I have some concerns that may be basic or obscure and weird. I'm on psychiatric medication and even though i plan to wean myself off it soon would that be a problem if I needed to remain on them? I like doing creative things, is their any leisure time in religious life or is it like hardcore praying 24 hours a day and only sleeping after you have attained a vision of a miraculous prophesy (I'm exaggerating a bit in case that wasn't clear ) What about education? I consider myself somewhat of an intellectual, which may seem presumptuous esp if you read the incoherent babble I post on here. Will I be able to study in a formal capacity in a Catholic institution after I get a BA in whatever university I'm in now? I say this because I think I may want to go into the mental health field (research or clinical I do not yet know) and obv you need some degrees for that sheet. I sort of remember that maybe there are Dominicans who offer mental health services, but this is just me being dumb again.

Thanks for reading! I know it's a bit tedious.
[/quote]

All of us started out just the way you are now, totally confused! Soon, you'll be the one giving advice.

Education: I too am in university (though a French Secondary Education and Francophone cultural studies major, with a possible minor in religious studies). Depending on the order, most religious go through EXTENSIVE religious formation, including further education. The Dominicans place a special emphasis on this, as they seek to teach others the fruits of their contemplation. That's not to say other orders don't, because almost every order has further studies; it depends on the apostolate (what they do) and charism (the "flavor," if you will.

Spiritual directors are great; I still don't have one, but am on the list to get one at my school. Check out your university's Catholic center. Sometimes, they'll have discernment groups and free spiritual direction. If you can't find one at the Catholic center, I'd talk to the priest there--he's got a super secret (not really) diocesan directory that has a list of priests who do spiritual direction (and the only reason I know this is because I worked for the Church for two years).

Deepening prayer life: If you can, try to pray the Liturgy of the Hours. It's the universal prayer of the church and is fantastic. there's a website with it called Try to go to Confession monthly (or more if you need it). Read the Bible--there are tons of "read the bible in a year" schedules if you're like me and need a calendar to keep you accountable. Learn a new chaplet or prayer--I try (I really do) to say the Divine Mercy chaplet every day and the Chaplet of Love. When I can, I get the rosary in, or at least a few decades.

Orders: Look everywhere. If you don't really have any idea where to go, just look up orders we post here! There's also the traditional women's orders blog (search in google--i'm really bad at posting links, they are always broken! ) that has orders divided by state, apostolate, etc. It's really cool. Then there's the CMSWR (Council major superiors of women religious, or something to that effect) that has websites for member orders .

Mental health: some orders can't take those that have mental illness (usually based on apostolate, etc), but some will. When you email the VD (vocations directress), mention your health issue, and she can let you know. It really depends on the order and their resources.

Many communities allow you to continue your hobbies. Tons of sisters I know sew, play sports (with their fellow sisters), play musical instruments, everything! Most orders want you to continue using your God-given gifts!

That's all I can think of at the moment, but if you have any questions, we can totally help!

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1315374934' post='2301471']
In short: I'm a college student (a sophomore) attending university planning to either be a psychology major/anthropology double major or minor. People have always told me I'm intelligent and I have a gift. I'm not 100% sure if those people were smoking the reefer at the time they told me this, but I'd like to think I have some talents somewhere. I never felt that married life would be for me, I mean sometimes I think about it and it melts my heart, you know having a lover to give oneself too and being able to nurture little humans and all, and up until a few years ago figured I'd be a single working woman all my life son.

I've always have had interest in being a missionary and traveling to these remote and obscure places and after returning to the Catholic faith I have seriously considered entering a religious order. In the silence of solitude I feel that this may be the best way for me to offer myself in service to God and man. That may contain traveling to foreign lands, and it may not, the point is [i]I have absolutely no idea where to begin[/i].

It's almost embarrassing. Everyone here seems to have all this intuitive or ingrained understanding of how all this stuff works but I have no freaking idea where to even start. I'm intimidated by the wealth of knowledge on here (I am a bad Catholic ) and I just need a snippet of guidance to point me in the right direction before I go running off to a priest or spiritual director (how do you get one of them anyhow?) sounding like the biggest moron that ever did walk into the chapel.

I have some concerns that may be basic or obscure and weird. I'm on psychiatric medication and even though i plan to wean myself off it soon would that be a problem if I needed to remain on them? I like doing creative things, is their any leisure time in religious life or is it like hardcore praying 24 hours a day and only sleeping after you have attained a vision of a miraculous prophesy (I'm exaggerating a bit in case that wasn't clear ) What about education? I consider myself somewhat of an intellectual, which may seem presumptuous esp if you read the incoherent babble I post on here. Will I be able to study in a formal capacity in a Catholic institution after I get a BA in whatever university I'm in now? I say this because I think I may want to go into the mental health field (research or clinical I do not yet know) and obv you need some degrees for that sheet. I sort of remember that maybe there are Dominicans who offer mental health services, but this is just me being dumb again.

Thanks for reading! I know it's a bit tedious.
[/quote]

Yay! Another possible discerner! Welcome to Vocation Station!

Don't worry about feeling overwhelmed at this stage. You are very new to the idea of discernment, and EVERYONE feels this way when they first start out. I know I did. Just take it slow and start looking at the various communities that are out there. By what you wrote, it seems that you would be most suited for apostolic life in an active/contemplative community. There are several missionary orders, too, to chose from.

As far as mental illness or psychiatric medicine is concerned, that could play a factor in your discernment with some communities. I was diagnosed with depression 12 years ago and have been on antidepressants on and off ever since. I now know that I will have to be on the medication for life and it hinders my discernment with most communities out there because they request that you have sound mental health. Many of them told me to wean myself off the medication and stay off it for at least a year before I could proceed. I did for about a year and a half and then relapsed. It was not healthy for me to be off it and so I went back on.

The good news is that there are some communities out there that will work with candidates who have need for psychiatric meds. I discerned with the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus (Northern Province) and applied there in 2009. They were willing to accept me with my controlled illness. However, I discerned that I was not called there and withdrew my application. There is also the Religious Sisters of Mercy in Alma, MI with whom I am discerning currently. Their focus is on the medical and healthcare support fields so they have a very good understanding of mental illness and how it can be controlled. I learned from someone who entered recently that they do allow you to continue to be on medication and they offer counseling support if you need it. I hope to visit there very soon to further discern with them.
I also know of a religious order in Stuart, FL who does not place limitations on those entering religious life. They are called the Sisters of the Most Holy Soul of Christ. When I got in contact with their vocation director, she was very understanding and offered me the chance to come down and stay with them for a few days. I learned that they are a missionary order with missions overseas. I do not feel called to be a missionary, but this might be a good order for you.

[url="http://carmelitedcjnorth.org/"]Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus (Northern Province)[/url]

[url="http://rsmofalma.org/"]Religious Sisters of Mercy of Alma, MI[/url]

[url="http://www.sistersofthemostholysoulofchrist.com/index.html"]Sisters of the Most Holy Soul of Christ[/url]

There may be more, but these are the three I know will make exceptions for those of us who need medication.

If you can, try to get a spiritual director if you don't already have one. I haven't been so fortunate to find one that is experienced in this concern, so I have had to do without, but if you can get one, they are invaluable.

If you have any questions, I'm sure we would be willing to help you find the answers.

[Ice_nine]

Firstly thank you all very much for responding. It can be difficult to make a private desire semi-public and I very much appreciate the understanding and wisdom of y'all.

[quote name='maximillion' timestamp='1315382485' post='2301481']
Hi Ice Nine, I am an ex sister so maybe you don't want to listen to me, but here goes anyway!
[/quote]

If you don't mind, may I ask why an ex-sister? I wasn't even sure that could happen. If it's too personal or something by all means ignore this question. I am just curious.

[quote]Secondly, put your ambitions into His hands....you will need to be prepared to make a Vow of Obedience, and while any community will naturally want to use your gifts, this may not be in the direction you think it should go. In fact, are you willing to give up all notion of where YOU want to go intellectually speaking? Ambition is fine - in His service and according to His desires rather than your own.[/quote]

My ambitions are all vague aspirations. I'm not even sure what direction I think I should go in! Having something to clearly define that and sorta tell me where I should step to seems quite a relief actually.
[quote]


There are lots of Orders on here, have a good poke about, read the info on their websites and see what Charism you feel attracted too.[/quote]

will do, it just seems so overwhelming! There are too many haha. But maybe I just need to take it in small doses instead of avoiding the information all together.


[quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1315397604' post='2301526']
First of all, visit the Blessed Sacrament. Take every advantage of Eucharist Adoration. He will speak to your heart; just give Him everything you have. I know that sounds scary, but look at everything we say about God: he is Love, He is merciful, etc. He's not going to leave you high and dry because you're relying on Him.
[/quote]

genius idea. Now that my brother is back at school I have a car and am able to get myself around more easily so I'm really hoping I can get to Mass and Adoration much more often.

[quote]Spiritual direction- yes. yes. yes. First steps to find a spiritual director- pray about it. If there is a priest you love, you can ask him in confession (and that way, if you don't follow up with it/chicken out, then he can't bring it up ). [/quote]

I really like my parish priest, but I have a bit of anxiety in dealing with people, especially baring my soul and all. He asked me if I was going to school after Confession one time and I said yes and mentioned to him that I would perhaps like to study theology to which he replied "maybe you could do that as a hobby but you really need something for a job etc . . ." I felt really dumb haha. Granted he doesn't know me [i]that[/i] well, but given my inferiority-complex I tend to recoil at the slightest suggestion that maybe my dreams and desires are silly and . . . idk.

[Ice_nine]

[size=3][quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1315404304' post='2301567'][/size]
[size=3]Education: I too am in university (though a French Secondary Education and Francophone cultural studies major, with a possible minor in religious studies). Depending on the order, most religious go through EXTENSIVE religious formation, including further education. The Dominicans place a special emphasis on this, as they seek to teach others the fruits of their contemplation. That's not to say other orders don't, because almost every order has further studies; it depends on the apostolate (what they do) and charism (the "flavor," if you will.[/quote][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]This is exciting [/size]
[size=3][quote][/size]
[size=3]Spiritual directors are great; I still don't have one, but am on the list to get one at my school. Check out your university's Catholic center. Sometimes, they'll have discernment groups and free spiritual direction. If you can't find one at the Catholic center, I'd talk to the priest there--he's got a super secret (not really) diocesan directory that has a list of priests who do spiritual direction (and the only reason I know this is because I worked for the Church for two years).[/size]
[size=3][/quote][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]I should make this a priority. I wonder if I should loook for one closer to my house or at my school. I'm a commuter student so more often than not I'm around my parents' house's area, but school is only an hour away. Decisions decisions[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3][quote]Deepening prayer life: If you can, try to pray the Liturgy of the Hours. It's the universal prayer of the church and is fantastic. there's a website with it called Try to go to Confession monthly (or more if you need it). Read the Bible--there are tons of "read the bible in a year" schedules if you're like me and need a calendar to keep you accountable. Learn a new chaplet or prayer--I try (I really do) to say the Divine Mercy chaplet every day and the Chaplet of Love. When I can, I get the rosary in, or at least a few decades.[/size]
[size=3][/quote][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]I just bought what looks to be a bit like LOH for dummies so I'm excited to try to get into that practice. I usually do get to confession monthly. It's been a little more difficult in terms of transportation but that shouldn't be an issue now. [/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]The only thing, reading the Bible, I feel like it's not worth it unless I have a bunch of resources and commentary to study with. I mean there are some things that even a person with basic literacy can glean from scriptures, but in terms of complex passages and knowing the history and nuances of the original languages I am lost. Maybe I can find a good companion guide to go along with it.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3][quote]Orders: Look everywhere. If you don't really have any idea where to go, just look up orders we post here! There's also the traditional women's orders blog (search in google--i'm really bad at posting links, they are always broken! ) that has orders divided by state, apostolate, etc. It's really cool. Then there's the CMSWR (Council major superiors of women religious, or something to that effect) that has websites for member orders .[/quote][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]It seems daunting cause there's so many, but then again I guess it's better to get my feet wet instead of avoiding the water altogether.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3][quote]Mental health: some orders can't take those that have mental illness (usually based on apostolate, etc), but some will. When you email the VD (vocations directress), mention your health issue, and she can let you know. It really depends on the order and their resources.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Many communities allow you to continue your hobbies. Tons of sisters I know sew, play sports (with their fellow sisters), play musical instruments, everything! Most orders want you to continue using your God-given gifts![/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]That's all I can think of at the moment, but if you have any questions, we can totally help![/size]
[size=3][/quote][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]thanks a lot. your advice really helps![/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3][quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315405562' post='2301573'][/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Yay! Another possible discerner! Welcome to Vocation Station![/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Don't worry about feeling overwhelmed at this stage. You are very new to the idea of discernment, and EVERYONE feels this way when they first start out. I know I did. Just take it slow and start looking at the various communities that are out there. By what you wrote, it seems that you would be most suited for apostolic life in an active/contemplative community. There are several missionary orders, too, to chose from.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]As far as mental illness or psychiatric medicine is concerned, that could play a factor in your discernment with some communities. I was diagnosed with depression 12 years ago and have been on antidepressants on and off ever since. I now know that I will have to be on the medication for life and it hinders my discernment with most communities out there because they request that you have sound mental health. Many of them told me to wean myself off the medication and stay off it for at least a year before I could proceed. I did for about a year and a half and then relapsed. It was not healthy for me to be off it and so I went back on.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]The good news is that there are some communities out there that will work with candidates who have need for psychiatric meds. I discerned with the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus (Northern Province) and applied there in 2009. They were willing to accept me with my controlled illness. However, I discerned that I was not called there and withdrew my application. There is also the Religious Sisters of Mercy in Alma, MI with whom I am discerning currently. Their focus is on the medical and healthcare support fields so they have a very good understanding of mental illness and how it can be controlled. I learned from someone who entered recently that they do allow you to continue to be on medication and they offer counseling support if you need it. I hope to visit there very soon to further discern with them. [/size]
[size=3][/quote][/size]
[size=3]thank you very much as well! lots of good info.[/size]

[BigJon16]

I took a lot of good advice out of this aswell. Cool!

[MithLuin]

[quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1315374934' post='2301471']
In short: I'm a college student (a sophomore) attending university planning to either be a psychology major/anthropology double major or minor. ... and up until a few years ago figured I'd be a single working woman all my life.

I've always have had interest in being a missionary and traveling to these remote and obscure places and after returning to the Catholic faith I have seriously considered entering a religious order.
[/quote]

It's okay to start out completely up in the air. You're in school, and have 2-3 years left. So, that's plenty of time and space to explore your options and figure out what direction you feel called in.

Asking questions here is a great way to get information...and the many threads about different communities here have tons of info to get you started as well. It's okay to be in the 'exploratory' phase for awhile before you start contacting communities or anything.

Figuring out what you're looking for in the first place, though, is a matter of prayer. You're not trying to generate a check list of what would be the perfect match for you...you're looking for a group that feels like home. Don't worry if you have the words for everything yet...you'll get there. A non-intimidating way of getting started can be to read the lives of the saints and find out which ones you identify with. This can help point you towards a particular charism.

You mentioned an interest in doing foreign missions work. There are many groups that will cheerfully send you abroad after training you here. Or you could join a group in another country (that has some extra issues regarding culture clash, but works for some people). Or you might consider doing mission work in the summers or right out of college before you join a religious order. That can actually be a good way to get to know a particular religious order. Here's a way to browse through different programs for lay people to do both domestic and foreign mission work:

[url="https://www.catholicvolunteernetwork.org/volunteers/search.php"]CNVS Response Directory[/url]
[url="http://pallotticenter.org/index.php?m=cd"]St. Vincent Pallotti Center Connections Directory[/url]

Disclosure: I did the Capuchin Franciscan Volunteer Corps right out of college to teach in the inner city (USA), and I'll be going to Ethiopia in January as a Salesian Lay Missioner So, I like this sort of thing!


Whatever you decide to do, keep trying to discern God's will for you and moving forward. Don't get overwhelmed or just let this drift along because you don't know how to begin. Good luck!