You 2Nd (Or More) Timers - What Learnings Will You Take With You Back

[Aya Sophia]

Had permission to work this question into another thread, "You know you're 2nd (or more) timer" but since that thread was supposed to be fun and this one isn't (lol) ... thought I'd separate the threads. This one isn't necessarily un-fun but it is intended to be thoughtul... (ok, I admit it - it's meant to be SERIOUS - and yes I'm way too SERIOUS about [u]everything[/u] and, yes, that "story" you heard about the novice who was so SERIOUS her novice mistress had to put her under OBEDIENCE to do "light reading" - that was true and that was me, ok? I admit it! I admit it all!!)

Now, seriously: there are those among us who have been in religious life, left and are planning to return.** [b]QUESTION [/b]is:
[indent=2][i][size=4]What have we learned, what way(s) have we changed, what graces have we received that are making our approach to RL different and which we expect to affect the way we live the life the next time?[/size][/i][/indent]

Of course, it's understood that some things are simply too personal or too interior (part of our hidden life with God) to share - so we can share what we feel comfortable sharing and what we think might be of interest or help to others. (I have a couple of thoughts to offer but, since my observations always seem to weigh several kilos, I thought I'd hold off until the thread has had a chance to float.)

Your'n
AS

**If you have been in an out more than once, which emot best illustrates your family's perception of your continuing attempts at RL:
a.

b.

c.

d.

[EWIE]

b.

[Chiquitunga]

I'm glad you started a separate thread on this Be back later when I have the time ..

And I'm pretty (or rather [i]extremely[/i]) blessed with my family's reaction so far
.. although maybe one of my brother's is more like hehe

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='Chiquitunga' timestamp='1315330526' post='2301135']
.. although maybe one of my brother's is more like hehe
[/quote]

My brother's original response was to say he would tell his friends I was in prison because it was easier to explain! Now he and my sil are by far the most supportive. My dad is quietly supportive, in the way he has always supported me whatever I have done. My mother is hot and cold, but I know thats as much her illness as anything.

[cmaD2006]

The one thing that I learned is that culture matters, and regardless of what you expect there will be cultural misunderstandings. I am an American born of Puertorrican parents, and I naively entered a community in Argentina and didn't realize that there would be a culture clash. Now I know.

Edited September 6, 2011 by cmariadiaz

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1315338919' post='2301200']
The one thing that I learned is that culture matters, and regardless of what you expect there will be cultural misunderstandings. I am an American born of Puertorrican parents, and I naively entered a community in Argentina and didn't realize that there would be a culture clash. Now I know.
[/quote]


I actually noticed this even in the country I have been born and brought up in! Q had a number of sisters who had been extremely wealthy, privately educated, etc, and goodness me it showed!

[BarbTherese]

I learnt the difference between what I wanted and what God was asking. This was not an event but a journey and one of sadness and loss to one of joy, fulfillment, peace and some understanding - although I think that the comments I have read by nunsense are spot on. One never really gets over the loss of religious life completely - there is always that attraction to the way of life itself and for me this included the knowledge that I did not have the vocation and this " I " could not live that lifestyle and if I ever attempted to enter again, in all likelihood I would leave again. At 65 yrs of age at this point, the fact that I am well beyond in probably all instances the age of being accepted into religious life is a sadness of some degree.

How does all that fit into the fact that I know joy, peace, fulfilment and some understanding - I guess it must flow from embracing God's Will and not my own. Whatever God asks, He provides the necessary qualities and these I do not have for monastic life which is my attraction - it is only wishful thinking that I did. Hence, if I entered religious life, would I be at peace, knowing joy, and fulfilment and some understanding? No - I think I would be at considerable restlessness and unhappy and would twist myself inside out wanting my own will to remain in religious life - and near on continually striving to overcome these emotions. However, my love and appreciation of religious life remains.

Some have said they do not know how I can live alone under private vows in the lay state, which to me is the most natural state of all for me and one that creates no problems at all anywhere for me. Hence God has given me the necessary qualities for this vocation.

Edited September 6, 2011 by BarbaraTherese

[faithcecelia]

That what I feel I have to offer a community - my skills, talents, etc - are irrelevant. I offer my nothingness, my weaknesses and my failings. What I can or can't do dont matter whatsover, its my willingness to be nothing that is my most precious offering to God.

[faithcecelia]

That religious life isn't an Enid Blyton book, its not sleepovers and midnight feasts and hugs and adventures - its a stark confrontation with God.

[Lisa]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1315420585' post='2301690']
That religious life isn't an Enid Blyton book, its not sleepovers and midnight feasts and hugs and adventures - its a stark confrontation with God.
[/quote]

I honestly don't know what an Enid Blyton book is, but I get the idea completely. Thanks for sharing this; religious life is truly one of joy- as we all see and comment on in pictures/videos, but it is also one of deep sacrifice. So thanks! (ran out of props for the day)

[carmenchristi]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1315420585' post='2301690']
That religious life isn't an Enid Blyton book, its not sleepovers and midnight feasts and hugs and adventures - its a stark confrontation with God.
[/quote]

Ok, you're right.... but an occasional "sleepover" or midnight feast isn't necessarily a [i]bad [/i]thing.... about the adventure bit..... I'd say that it's the biggest adventure of my life, but I guess that's about where the stark confrontation with God part comes in

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='carmenchristi' timestamp='1315422266' post='2301699']
but an occasional "sleepover" or midnight feast isn't necessarily a [i]bad [/i]thing....
[/quote]

I [i]love[/i] midnight feasts and sleepovers (so long as we get a room each, I don't do shared sleeping arangements!) but the nearest I got in Carmel was a sherry after Midnight Mass!

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1315422562' post='2301700']

I [i]love[/i] midnight feasts and sleepovers (so long as we get a room each, I don't do shared sleeping arangements!) but the nearest I got in Carmel was a sherry after Midnight Mass!
[/quote]

Just out of curiosity, what does sherry taste like? Is it sweet? Is it anything like wine? The reason I ask is because two of my favorite shows -- Rick Steves' Europe (which I just got done watching on Southern England) and Keeping Up Appearances -- have both mentioned it and I always wondered what it tasted like.

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315423639' post='2301709']

Just out of curiosity, what does sherry taste like? Is it sweet? Is it anything like wine? The reason I ask is because two of my favorite shows -- Rick Steves' Europe (which I just got done watching on Southern England) and Keeping Up Appearances -- have both mentioned it and I always wondered what it tasted like.
[/quote]


Is the communion wine sweet at your parish? If so it may well be, technically, sherry - most of my priest friends use sweet sherry as its palatable for children, looks red, but doesn't stain the purificators! You can get dry sherry but my favourite is sweet!

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1315423929' post='2301712']


Is the communion wine sweet at your parish? If so it may well be, technically, sherry - most of my priest friends use sweet sherry as its palatable for children, looks red, but doesn't stain the purificators! You can get dry sherry but my favourite is sweet!
[/quote]

No, the wine used for consecration is wine made especially for Catholic Masses by O-Neh-Da I believe. I've been in the Sacristy many times but I only saw the wine once and it looked like this label:

[img]http://www.onehda.com/images/St.MichRed.jpg[/img]
We use red wine that tastes like Burgundy. It's very dark red in color and very dry in taste.

At my old Church, we used a white wine, but it, too, was very dry.


I might have to try some sweet sherry. We have some liquor stores around here that sell the little miniature bottles so you can taste it without buying a whole bottle (I'm not too crazy about alcohol and I can't drink much of it because of my medication). I think I'll probably try the dessert sherry I've seen.

Edited September 7, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae