AccountDeleted Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 This is a devastating time for you. Having been there myself, I know what a kick in the gut it feels like. I am so happy that you have found another monastery home. Of course it isn't the same thing as being accepted at your community, but with God's will, over time, it will become your home. You will probably never stop grieving for this loss, but Our Lord will convert it for you into something beautiful for Him. I don't know how to explain it, but it will happen over time if you never lose trust in His love for you. Great suffering can be a gift but it probably won't feel like that until you have some time and distance from it. I am praying for you with all my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inperpetuity Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 You have my prayers, Staretz. I don't know you, but I am glad you are not giving up and do not have to leave monastic life and go back to the "world". I am sure you will be happy in Petersham. New England is my favorite place since I grew up there, and it will always be the most beautiful to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaPetiteSoeur Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Prayers for you! God will lead you where He wants you to be, I can promise that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InPersonaChriste Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I will keep you in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximilianus Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Prayers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 OM Gosh. Will pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Prayers for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenDeMaria Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 And more prayers (you can never have too many) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TradMom Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 (edited) +Praised be Jesus Christ! You are going to a lovely, stable, respected Monastery. You will excel there and may your pain in leaving one home for another be swift! God's blessings to you, and know you will be in my prayers! Pax, TradMom Edited September 6, 2011 by TradMom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stlmom Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I'm so very sorry, Staretz. Are you being allowed to stay until you can transfer to Petersham? As a long time Phatmasser, I hope you will continue to post and keep us updated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MithLuin Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I am sorry that the situation ended like this. I can't imagine how painful it must be....well, okay, kinda like getting dumped in a serious relationship, when it feels like your heart is literally broken....so, yes, devastatingly painful. But you have a new beginning now. I hope that this fresh start will be a new springtime for you, even if it is fall in New England. I hope you will have the opportunity to mourn your loss, and begin again in a way that leads towards healing. I imagine it is the most difficult lesson in life to learn that we can really only count on God to always be there for us and always love us. (((HUGS))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starets Posted September 6, 2011 Author Share Posted September 6, 2011 I thank you for all your expressions of support and offers of prayers. I am being allowed to stay here until I find a new monastic home. i was also told that if i wanted to go back to "the world" they could give me $USD1,000 and a 1-way plane ticket wherever I want to go. but there is nothing for me in the "real world" anymore. I have also contacted St. Vincent's in LaTrobe but nothing has come of that so far. The ironic thing, for me at least, is that my public observance and private prayer life over the last two months has never been better. I use an excel spreadsheet to keep track of whether or not I have said the prayers and devotions and read the readings that I want to have read each day. It is a good way to keep track of my progress. In the last two months, I have done quite well. I visited there back in 2002 as a vocational prospect. I was blind at the time and they said that they didnt think they could adapt to having a blind person around. The Vocation Director suggested contacting my current community and that is how I ended up here at Christ in the Desert. I wonder if part of the reason for my being here was as a sort of "detoxification": between the counselling, the wilderness hikes and the gardening I am a much stronger person as well as a much stronger monk than I was when I came here 3 and a half years ago. I will certainly keep people posted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i<3franciscans Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I can't imagine how hard it must be for you my Brother. When everything seems wonderful I believe that God blesses us trials to see just how strong we truly are. I once heard Our Holy Father say, "The ways of the Lord are not comfortable, but we weren't made for comfort, we were made for greatness." May Jesus bring you peace at heart during this hard time. You are in my constant prayers! *hugs* i<3f. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissylou Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 If I toodle out to Petersham to visit, can I have some of your cookies? (everyone else is being lovely and serious I had to lighten things up a little.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starets Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Krissy, you are adorable. Certainly you may. Just make a donation in kind of a bag of flour, a pound of butter and a carton of eggs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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