Humph........

[FutureSister2009]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315333983' post='2301157']

Just a question...why do you want to go to the Eastern State Penitentiary? If I remember correctly, the Ghost Hunters visited there a few years ago (I used to be a fan of the show but grew out of it when a Confessor told me to stop watching since I was becoming obsessed). I only watch it for the entertainment value now since I know there is no such thing as ghosts. Most of the time they are demons who want to trick us into believing that haunted houses exist. I'm not trying to be a stickler, but do be careful about immersing interest in the subject. People can get obsessed pretty quickly.
[/quote]

I want to go because I've never done anything like that in my life. I don't do well with "haunted" stuff so I'm going to face my fears and be rebellious. That's something I would like to do before my entrance into Religious Life. It's just for fun. Who knows? I may end up chickening out at the last second. But I would be proud of myself for actually going through with it if I do it.

[das8949]

Well, there are so many different things about going through formation. I am sure it may be less stringent than when I entered, but we did not have time for ourselves. There was not music or TV, or sitting in a living room and noone pops out for take out or to a movie.

Every minute of our day was structured for 3 years and for discipline we did things at odd times like go to chapel at 8:10 or eat at 12:17 and we were summoned by bells at all times. On Christmas morning we got to sleep in to 6:30 AM

We had to go and ask our ND for any toiletries we may need tooth brushes, tooth paste, any special items or meds one might need. Our toothpaste were cut open with razor blades and handed back to us;

we had to do Examen publicly where we would bow down confess to our fellow sisters any sins we committed against them throught our thoughts words or deeds.



This was Sisters of Notre Dame and in no way a cloistered community but we did not talk except in certain areas and times. We did not have personal books, our letters were read before and after. There were no phone calls.

Our novitiate was set up with 6 to a room with sheets around our bed aand night stand We had a bow for water for washing face and brushing teeth in the morning. The only time we were there was bedtime and there was no talking allowed.

I assure you it is not like you are all of a sudden a member of the Cleavers or the Nelson's - There are people who clash; who do not like one another;

there are rules that you do not agree with,but obedience does not permit discussion. It is nonstop work and some recreation.

There are no vending machines and sodas are a rarity for community days.

You must remember that the ONE thing that you have in common with the others Sisters is your LOVE for GOD


I am rambling on like this to try and get a couple of you to wake up and appreciate the time you have now to prepare yourself, to mature emotionally. I believe that if God wanted you in a convent right now you would be in one. Discernment is suppossed to end in a solid fiat to God saying I understand this IS WHAT YOU WANT OF ME and I sign my name on a blank piece of paper on the bottom rt hand side letting GOD fill it all in as you deem.


I apologize to anyone whom I may have offended in advance. I have already been told by one person that they hated me and I can take it.

[Lisa]

Darlene: Thanks for helping to keep all of us grounded. It is easy to think about religious life as all happiness and sunshine, but like any vocation, it's going to be [b]hard[/b]. I will, for one, probably struggle with not questioning/voicing my opinion at times. This was a helpful reminder to be using this time of waiting fruitfully and not being so infatuated that we lose the reality of religious life. Having that realism will hopefully make the transition less of a shock when (if) we do enter.

[quote]
Discernment is suppossed to end in a solid fiat to God saying I understand this IS WHAT YOU WANT OF ME and I sign my name on a blank piece of paper on the bottom right hand side letting GOD fill it all in as you deem.
[/quote]
This is fantastic.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1315407832' post='2301584']

I want to go because I've never done anything like that in my life. I don't do well with "haunted" stuff so I'm going to face my fears and be rebellious. That's something I would like to do before my entrance into Religious Life. It's just for fun. Who knows? I may end up chickening out at the last second. But I would be proud of myself for actually going through with it if I do it.
[/quote]

The Dominicans of Bethany (France) have the apostolate of visiting the imprisoned. If you haven't seen it, you should really watch "Dead Man Walking." The language is salty and there are a few (I think? It's been a year) questionable scenes, but the witness by Sr. Helen is so true. I STILL can't believe Louisiana STILL has the death penalty, and it's such a Catholic state!

It is a corporal work of mercy (is it corporal? or the other one?), so you're doing good!

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='DarleneSteinemann' timestamp='1315421874' post='2301698']
Well, there are so many different things about going through formation. I am sure it may be less stringent than when I entered, but we did not have time for ourselves. There was not music or TV, or sitting in a living room and noone pops out for take out or to a movie.

Every minute of our day was structured for 3 years and for discipline we did things at odd times like go to chapel at 8:10 or eat at 12:17 and we were summoned by bells at all times. On Christmas morning we got to sleep in to 6:30 AM

We had to go and ask our ND for any toiletries we may need tooth brushes, tooth paste, any special items or meds one might need. Our toothpaste were cut open with razor blades and handed back to us;

we had to do Examen publicly where we would bow down confess to our fellow sisters any sins we committed against them throught our thoughts words or deeds.



This was Sisters of Notre Dame and in no way a cloistered community but we did not talk except in certain areas and times. We did not have personal books, our letters were read before and after. There were no phone calls.

Our novitiate was set up with 6 to a room with sheets around our bed aand night stand We had a bow for water for washing face and brushing teeth in the morning. The only time we were there was bedtime and there was no talking allowed.

I assure you it is not like you are all of a sudden a member of the Cleavers or the Nelson's - There are people who clash; who do not like one another;

there are rules that you do not agree with,but obedience does not permit discussion. It is nonstop work and some recreation.

There are no vending machines and sodas are a rarity for community days.

You must remember that the ONE thing that you have in common with the others Sisters is your LOVE for GOD


I am rambling on like this to try and get a couple of you to wake up and appreciate the time you have now to prepare yourself, to mature emotionally. I believe that if God wanted you in a convent right now you would be in one. Discernment is suppossed to end in a solid fiat to God saying I understand this IS WHAT YOU WANT OF ME and I sign my name on a blank piece of paper on the bottom rt hand side letting GOD fill it all in as you deem.


I apologize to anyone whom I may have offended in advance. I have already been told by one person that they hated me and I can take it.
[/quote]


Darlene, so much of this could be describing Carmel even today! I think it is so easy to get carried away looking at happy smiley posed photos, and to see sisters at special events, and to forget that that is not the norm. Sisters get tired, they get sick, they get PMS! They have different values and upbringings and opinions. Personally, on a human level, my idea of hell would be living with 20 other women for the rest of my life!!! od gives the grace to live a vocation, but sometimes it does take years to gain the strength of character needed to live it.

[FutureSister2009]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1315478576' post='2302077']


Darlene, so much of this could be describing Carmel even today! I think it is so easy to get carried away looking at happy smiley posed photos, and to see sisters at special events, and to forget that that is not the norm. Sisters get tired, they get sick, they get PMS! They have different values and upbringings and opinions. Personally, on a human level, my idea of hell would be living with 20 other women for the rest of my life!!! od gives the grace to live a vocation, but sometimes it does take years to gain the strength of character needed to live it.
[/quote]

You've done it before though

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1315491490' post='2302128']

You've done it before though
[/quote]

And learnt the hard way how important it is to take time, to really learn who I am and to not have unrealistic expectations of myself or others!

[i<3franciscans]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1315498121' post='2302169']

And learnt the hard way how important it is to take time, to really learn who I am and to not have unrealistic expectations of myself or others!
[/quote]
If you could do it all over again, would you do it the same way knowing the out come?

[das8949]

Faith, you made a good point about living together. I would imagine that cloistered life would be very difficult if the mix of personalities does not mesh. I believe that God through prayer assists the superiors with the understanding of each person. You have often spoken of your hopefully future Prioress in that way.

In a non cloistered community there is house rotation as a rule. During formation we were classified by DOB and assigned numbers which we sewed on all of our garments. In my "brotherhood" I was the oldest so me and #40 were always next to me in chapel, classes, referectory...This thread is bringing back so many memories. 95% of our meals were in silence and even at the endof the meal a person went and brought a pan of water to the table and we washed our dishes there and reset for the next day.

One adventure we had as Postulants was to collect the different colored strihgt pins the novices would lose in their veils. This came about as part of the lesson to keep your eyes down when you walk not to engage another with eye contact.

I would love to hear from someone in the Phorum who is re-discerning what there day to day life was like not what the website says.

Someone said in one of the threads that you never get over your experience of entering and leaving. I can testify that my heart is still there and it has been over close to 40 years. The images are so clear.

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='i<3franciscans' timestamp='1315498768' post='2302185']
If you could do it all over again, would you do it the same way knowing the out come?
[/quote]

Its a really hard question to answer to be honest, because I am not a masochist and would never choose to put myself through agony through choice. I wouldn't change it now - I don't believe in regrets - but I would certainly wait longer if I could. I know that, even at 28 having had a huge amount of responsibility for 20yrs by then caring for my sick mother etc, I was simply not mature enough. I was too idealistic, too judgemental (and no, I wouldn't have thought I was at the time!). I was enthusiastic enough, and zealous, and determined, but just not mature enough - and I wasn't 'immature' for my age either. I have never been a romantic, I'm not remotely bothered about not getting dressed up in a wedding dress and I'm not into gushiness. Yet even so I know only too well how much I put my sisters on pedestals, I saw them as so wonderful (regardless of what they say, people are [i]always[/i] on their best behaviours when aspirants visit) that there was no way they could live up to my expectations. I had simply not realised that becoming a nun didn't stop you sniping at each other sometimes, or getting cross when things don't go your way. So if I could go back I would have an extended live-in I think, so that I [i]really[/i] got to see what the life was like. I would also try to work more on accepting criticism - I now know that as a postulant and especially as a novice you are constantly corrected, you have to unlearn and relearn almost every single thing you do and this is important not only for 'fitting in' but in accepting your nothingless. I would certainly work on not giving any thought to what I was good at, what my skills were, etc, and on learning that none of these matter whatsover, to try to be far more humble and accepting of discipline. One of my lowest points ever was the day I was severely told off for cooking frozen peas incorrectly. I was 29yrs old, I had done bulk catering semi-professionally, I was a perfectly capable and competant cook and this was about the easiest task anyone could be asked to do in the kitchen, and there I was being told off for doing it wrong! Humility is always a hard lesson to learn!

Sorry, I have waffled, but ultimately if I could go back and have my time again knowing what I do now, I would definately have waited, and i would not wish what I have gone through on anyone, I would recommend [i]anyone[/i] waits until they are older than they think they need to be and have some good, solid, stable life experience behind them.

[bmb144]

Ok, forgive my stupidity but I guess I don't understand why a percentage of you are in such a hurry. I'm in my mid 30's and as such over the hill for most orders. I care for my mum, so I am not free to fully discern or enter. And yes, I've had depression and spent a year on medication and went through counselling, so for some orders again I am a no no. That though is fine because I am sure God has the right place for me and it will all be worked out in his time, not mine.

I do though sit here and the more I read this forum the more concerned I become and one question keeps hitting me over the head....what's the hurry? You have time to experience some of the best fruits of this world, the beauty in it. Travel a bit, help others, fall in love with the beauty that God has put here. Take the time to prepare yourself well and work on spiritual maturity along with emotional and mental maturity. You have the time, particularly when some of you are still teenagers.

So I'd like to ask....what is the hurry? Are you running towards something better or running from something?

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='In His Light' timestamp='1315539039' post='2302399']
Ok, forgive my stupidity but I guess I don't understand why a percentage of you are in such a hurry. I'm in my mid 30's and as such over the hill for most orders. I care for my mum, so I am not free to fully discern or enter. And yes, I've had depression and spent a year on medication and went through counselling, so for some orders again I am a no no. That though is fine because I am sure God has the right place for me and it will all be worked out in his time, not mine.

I do though sit here and the more I read this forum the more concerned I become and one question keeps hitting me over the head....what's the hurry? You have time to experience some of the best fruits of this world, the beauty in it. Travel a bit, help others, fall in love with the beauty that God has put here. Take the time to prepare yourself well and work on spiritual maturity along with emotional and mental maturity. You have the time, particularly when some of you are still teenagers.

So I'd like to ask....what is the hurry? Are you running towards something better or running from something?
[/quote]

I've heard from a few vocation directors that there is harm in waiting too long, though. If the person discerning has nothing holding them back like debt, dependents, or other obligations, why should that person wait longer than necessary? The longer you wait, the less likely you are to answer the call as time goes by.

Most religious orders want the aspirant to have a few years of life experience such as work or college, and I have these. For those that don't, it would be a great idea to have that experience, but I am 28 years old. I am reaching the age limit of several orders. If I believe God is calling now, I want to go now. I don't want to wait. It's all about His will not mine. If I believed that He was calling me to finish upper-level college studies before entering, I would, but that's not what I feel called to do right now.

In my situation, it's not running away from something -- it's running towards God and His will.

[bmb144]

MM, your one of the people I am less inclined to be worried about. I've watched you and prayed a great for you, its some of the other younger women here that worry me.

[das8949]

IHS I could not agree with you more! there are some who would not last a monthand they change their minds like some people chang hair color. I do see it as a running to but not to GOD but an image they have of "the perfect life". They are rebellious, impertinent and do not want to hear anything that does not agree with their opinions. I guess that we all have to learn the hard way through our mistakes, its just that some are not that strong to bounce back and try a 2nd or 3rd time..

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='In His Light' timestamp='1315540301' post='2302410']
MM, your one of the people I am less inclined to be worried about. I've watched you and prayed a great for you, its some of the other younger women here that worry me.
[/quote]

Thank you.

I want to speak up for the other people here though! Not in a negative sense, by any means, but I can certainly understand the desire to give God everything right now. I used to feel the same way but, over time, those feelings matured into true love and I developed my prayer life. Now, I believe it is the time to act.

I do believe that religious life can be overly romanticized. It is important to understand that it is [u][b]not[/b][/u] all sweetness and light -- it is a real sacrifice and one that can only be done out of love. If someone is running away from life to join a convent, they won't last long at all. That's something I didn't understand before.