Aya Sophia Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Hey, all How to find a spiritual director for your discernment process? I would like to suggest a way that worked for me: [b]contact the office of the Vicar for Religious in your diocese.[/b] The office of the VR in my diocese was able to give me a list of directors (mostly Religious) who specialized in spiritual direction for those in discernment. I chose one and began meeting with her once a month. She helped me stay focused on my goal and provided much needed support, encouragement and understanding. Besides tapping into your local VR's office for SD suggestions, it's good to tie in with them generally in your discernment process - they can be of real (as distinguished from virtual!) support in a variety of ways. Examples of offices for VR: Rockville Center, NY [url="http://www.drvc.org/office-vicars-for-religious"]http://www.drvc.org/office-vicars-for-religious[/url] Worcester, MA [url="http://www.worcesterdiocese.org/vicar/VicarOverview/tabid/280/Default.aspx"]http://www.worcesterdiocese.org/vicar/VicarOverview/tabid/280/Default.aspx[/url] Galveston-Houston, TX [url="http://www.archgh.org/About/Secretariat-for-Administration/Vicars/"]http://www.archgh.org/About/Secretariat-for-Administration/Vicars/[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 This was a point given by some people on this phorum a while back when I was looking for a spiritual director. My diocese is mostly concerned with the spiritual needs of those discerning the priesthood. Several priests that I contacted for spiritual direction pointed me to the Delegate for Religious in our diocese. I tried contacting her several times, but was told she was ill and wasn't able to give direction. I also contacted the Catholic retreat center and they gave me information for a lady in our diocese (a laywoman trained in spiritual direction), but she moved or something. I then resorted to calling the Vocations office, but they also directed me to the routes I had already tried. Every which way I went, I was hitting a brick wall. I had spiritual direction with a priest I knew, but he had to stop because he is the pastor and is so busy. I also met with my parish's pastor and he is VERY busy, but said he would be willing to help any way he could. The point I'm trying to make is to exhaust all your outlets before giving up. God has not seen fit to bless me with a 2nd spiritual director so now my Catholic therapist is "unofficially" acting as my SD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Oh, and another route is to go to your university's Newman Center or Catholic Student Union. Often times, they will have an appointed spiritual director who is available. Unfortunately, we don't have either of these in this area, but I will have to remember it if I go to the university out-of-state or in another town. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 MM, Try a vicar in your parish or a nearby parish. Often time their schedule is not as demanding as that of a pastor. My current SD is a vicar and so was my first one. Prayers that you find one soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissylou Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 [quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1315170529' post='2300179'] MM, Try a vicar in your parish or a nearby parish. Often time their schedule is not as demanding as that of a pastor. My current SD is a vicar and so was my first one. Prayers that you find one soon. [/quote] Vicar = Associate Pastor, if your diocese uses that terminology. Or, if you're a character in a Jane Austen novel, a vicar is typically a highly eligible potential husband! But I'm pretty sure Hopeful didn't mean it like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 [quote name='krissylou' timestamp='1315175969' post='2300237'] Vicar = Associate Pastor, if your diocese uses that terminology. Or, if you're a character in a Jane Austen novel, a vicar is typically a highly eligible potential husband! But I'm pretty sure Hopeful didn't mean it like that! [/quote] I assumed that's what she meant -- associate pastor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faithcecelia Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 [quote name='krissylou' timestamp='1315175969' post='2300237'] Vicar = Associate Pastor, if your diocese uses that terminology. Or, if you're a character in a Jane Austen novel, a vicar is typically a highly eligible potential husband! But I'm pretty sure Hopeful didn't mean it like that! [/quote] Ive always wondered what you all mean by vicar - over here its mainly used for an Anglican priest! (who yes, in many cases would have been considered the perfect 18th/19th century husband!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faithcecelia Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 MM, its such a shame you're not over here, I know someone who would have been the perfect SD for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 [quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1315247544' post='2300569'] MM, its such a shame you're not over here, I know someone who would have been the perfect SD for you. [/quote] Aw! I'm just very thankful to have my therapist right now. She is helping me on a lot of my spiritual and emotional issues. She also knows I'm discerning so she's trying to help me with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Flower Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 I want a SD. i feel like i have no idea what Im doing. and that Im probably doing everything wrong. and I know I don't pray enough. it seems like everything in my diocese is for guys who want to be priests. But they did have an email address for a woman on the vocation page of the diocese website, so maybe she's the person Im supposed to talk to. Now I just need to get up the nerve to do it. sigh. i hate doing stuff like that. emailing people i dont know. ill just have to smell of elderberries it up i guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 [quote name='Little Flower' timestamp='1315260593' post='2300643'] I want a SD. i feel like i have no idea what Im doing. and that Im probably doing everything wrong. and I know I don't pray enough. it seems like everything in my diocese is for guys who want to be priests. But they did have an email address for a woman on the vocation page of the diocese website, so maybe she's the person Im supposed to talk to. Now I just need to get up the nerve to do it. sigh. i hate doing stuff like that. emailing people i dont know. ill just have to smell of elderberries it up i guess [/quote] I'm in the same predicament. No one in my diocese is really that accommodating of those who are discerning religious life. It's all about men discerning the diocesan priesthood. So many people I contacted pointed me in the same direction but I got nothing. The Sister who is the Delegate for Religious is VERY difficult to get a hold of since she is often ill. When I contacted the retreat and spirituality center in my diocese, they gave me the name and contact information for a laywoman -- not a religious or a priest. I finally gave up contacting people. I got nowhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pax_et bonum Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 [quote name='Little Flower' timestamp='1315260593' post='2300643'] I want a SD. i feel like i have no idea what Im doing. and that Im probably doing everything wrong. and I know I don't pray enough. it seems like everything in my diocese is for guys who want to be priests. But they did have an email address for a woman on the vocation page of the diocese website, so maybe she's the person Im supposed to talk to. Now I just need to get up the nerve to do it. sigh. i hate doing stuff like that. emailing people i dont know. ill just have to smell of elderberries it up i guess [/quote] Ask the Franciscan Brothers Minor if one of them could direct you or know of someone who could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Flower Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315261798' post='2300656'] I'm in the same predicament. No one in my diocese is really that accommodating of those who are discerning religious life. It's all about men discerning the diocesan priesthood. So many people I contacted pointed me in the same direction but I got nothing. The Sister who is the Delegate for Religious is VERY difficult to get a hold of since she is often ill. When I contacted the retreat and spirituality center in my diocese, they gave me the name and contact information for a laywoman -- not a religious or a priest. I finally gave up contacting people. I got nowhere. [/quote] well st. therese didn't have a SD while she was discerning. so i guess its not like its the only way to prop its helped me to be emailing with the VD, Sr. Mary Catharine, of the Summit Dominicans (I know you read Phatmass - THANK YOU! ) even if I can't have a SD. I can't really explain why but its really nice. I wish I had friends discerning religious life, especially contemplative life. I have a friend (and a brother!) who want to be priests, but when I was telling my friend I wanted to be contemplative, he seemed to think that was stupid. He has a cousin who just joined the Carmelites in Nebraska, and he was saying he'll never see her again. And most other people and friends I haven't said anything to. They wouldn't understand. They would just think I am the stupidest person ever to walk the planet earth. I know a lot of guys who want to be priests. I know one girl who thinks she's called to religious life, and she wants to be a Consecrated. whatever maybe God wants her to fix the order. but ive heard too many horror stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Flower Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 [quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1315261922' post='2300659'] Ask the Franciscan Brothers Minor if one of them could direct you or know of someone who could. [/quote] hm. good idea! ill have to remember to ask next time i see them! it might be a while though ive been working saturdays. but at least i like my job! FREE PIZZA BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! although actually i like the ham and coagulated milk better wow i hate that fiddler.ARRRGH!!!each of those are separate posts lumped together fyi dont ask me why phatmass did that. but it did. IT MADE MY SANDWHICH SOUND DISGUSTING!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pax_et bonum Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 [quote name='Little Flower' timestamp='1315262938' post='2300669'] I wish I had friends discerning religious life, especially contemplative life. [/quote] I met someone this summer at the discernment night with the Poor Clares in Kokomo who had just moved to Ft. Wayne. It would probably help if I remembered her name, but I can't. You should just go up to random girls and ask if they ever thought about a vocation to the religious life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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