OnlySunshine Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1316824425' post='2309076'] Oh, I meant habit + veil when I say habit. I'm going back and forth in my mind as to whether it's for me or not (HJM). I don't feel fit for total active living, but I also don't know about sitting in Church praying most of the day. I need a balance, with some getting out and some interaction. I need to do a little something. How much and what? I'm still unsure to be honest. The SsEW has the balance I thought best for me. But that's hard to find. [/quote] Maybe you should spend more time in Adoration. It seems like you are still pretty confused about which charism or apostolate you feel called to. You don't have to sort everything out right now since you said you felt it would be best if you waited a while before entering, anyway. There is some harm in writing too many orders of this very reason -- you lose focus. It happened to me a few times and now I just like to concentrate on one order at a time. In fact, I'm planning to write an email to the SsEW explaining that I won't be visiting there anytime soon. I prayed and prayed for a way to get there before I started discerning with the RSMs, but it never happened. I began to understand that it was not God's will that I visit. The RSMs seem so right because I have been praying for peace as I move forward and I am sure that God's hand is in this since He provided a way for me to pay for airfare. Have you talked to your spiritual director lately? What does he/she think? An important quote from a CFR: [quote][size=3]"Our vocations are a gift given by a God who loves us and has called us. Our vocation is not to be found using Google to look up the nearest community that fits all of my personality requirements or desires." - Br. Angelus Immaculata Montgomery, CFR[/size][/quote] Edited September 24, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 JL, I think you should read this blog post by a Dominican friar. It would have been useful to me earlier in my discernment when I kept asking for signs: http://www.dominicanablog.com/2011/09/14/59/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted September 24, 2011 Author Share Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) I haven't told my SD that I've been writing Orders. I rather wait until I have some names that are open to me. But still, I'm not going to thoroughly discern because I realize I'm not in a rush; I wouldn't enter anytime soon. I think my anxiety has been playing a part in my rushing things. I feel better when I know there are some places out there for a possible future. I'm still working on getting a medicine that will help the anxiety properly. My SD wants me to really focus on Jesus when I go on a two week retreat/vacation in October. I hope to get some focus and better see God's plan and timing for my life. A retreat is just what I need. I will have to read that blog you posted. Thank you so much. Edited September 24, 2011 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 I'm just going to keep updating on this thread when an Order I've already contacted sends a response. This will help me keep track, and will help others in the same situation. [url="http://www.immaculateconceptionsite.org"]http://www.immaculateconceptionsite.org[/url] -- They send their candidates to Lithuania, and they think this would be too difficult. It would, and wouldn't work with my medications and doctor visits, plus it sounds stressful living in a whole new country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 SCC had written wanting to know more about my health, so I replied, and didn't hear back for over a week. So, I ended up writing asking if I was to take her lack of response as a no to considering me. She just wrote back and I'm nervous to open the email. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deus te Amat Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 You can do it! Say a Hail Mary and... GO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 Be not afraid- Cast out into the deep! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 (edited) Thank you! I did it! Sister said she couldn't answer and that she asked the Provincial and will have to hear back from her! Good to hear they are so open to seeking further! I haven't replied. Sister mentioned about my health and asked if the doctors thought I could handle the demands of a more active Order and whether I should look into a more contemplative life. I had told her about my mental health, fatigue issue, etc. I had told her I'm going to see a specialist for the fatigue, if my relative will cover it. I'm a little confused. It's my understanding that they are semi and not active? I tried out the Visitation cloister and know first hand that they work a lot, too. Prayer is a lot of work, too. I found the close environment a little harder than a semi-contemplative Order. Things get to you more in a cloister. It's just different. It's an interesting question though, and my doctors don't know what to say. I don't know what to tell her. I don't know what would suit me best for sure, especially since they haven't diagnosed and treated the fatigue yet, plus I'm still getting the depression and anxiety under control. This doctor usually finds it's an adrenal and/or thyroid issue, so I may need to go on cortef and Armour or similar. Edited September 25, 2011 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 (edited) Man, what am I going to say to Orders if they are open to me... since I wouldn't be able to enter anywhere for some years... I guess it's okay to discern while waiting? I'm not sure why I'm in such a rush, I just keep getting compelled to it. Also, my living situation could change at any time and then I'm thrust to enter somewhere for serious reasons. Solissisters of Canada just wrote and they think their prayer schedule, work and fasting would be too much for me, and recommended looking into consecrated virginity or third orders. Sister wrote the most beautiful, thoughtful response about my health of any Order. Sister really believes it makes me special and that I can help souls with my cross. Edited September 26, 2011 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 (edited) I get a semi-contemplative order telling me it would be too much, and then an active or semi but mostly active order telling me I might try a more contemplative order.... Edited September 26, 2011 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1316996744' post='2310120'] I get a semi-contemplative order telling me it would be too much, and then an active or semi but mostly active order telling me I might try a more contemplative order.... [/quote] That's crazy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 (edited) And I know firsthand that it's the cloistered Orders that are most picky about medications and mental health, as it is so confined and more stressful to some. The more active Orders allow an outlet of release and activity. But, I do get stressed some with a lot of activity; I need balance. But now that I'm getting medication, I may handle things better. Edited September 26, 2011 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1316998131' post='2310139'] And I know firsthand that it's the cloistered Orders that are most picky about medications and mental health, as it is so confined and more stressful to some. The more active Orders allow an outlet of release and activity. But, I do get stressed some with a lot of activity; I need balance. But now that I'm getting medication, I may handle things better. [/quote] Yes, I was told by SEVERAL cloistered orders that my needs would not be beneficial to the community and it could exacerbate my problems. They were worried about a relapse. At the time, I was off my medications for about 1.5 years. It turns out that I needed it for life, so I discerned that it was not God's will for me to enter a cloistered order. Semi-contemplative is OK, but I really like the idea of contemplative/active communities like the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal and the Religious Sisters of Mercy. Their lifestyle is centered around prayer but they still get out and meet the people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1316995720' post='2310118'] Man, what am I going to say to Orders if they are open to me... since I wouldn't be able to enter anywhere for some years... I guess it's okay to discern while waiting? I'm not sure why I'm in such a rush, I just keep getting compelled to it. Also, my living situation could change at any time and then I'm thrust to enter somewhere for serious reasons. Soli sisters of Canada just wrote and they think their prayer schedule, work and fasting would be too much for me, and [b]recommended looking into consecrated virginity or third orders[/b]. Sister wrote the most beautiful, thoughtful response about my health of any Order. Sister really believes it makes me special and that I can help souls with my cross. [/quote] This is a very real possibility if you cannot find an order that you are attracted to AND that will admit you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 I don't know how I'll afford to support myself totally on my own someday if that's the case, as I don't know about college. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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