TeresaBenedicta Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Looking back at my entire discernment experience, I think that the times that I was most "confused" were the times when I was not trusting God. I was impatient, like a little child, who wanted to know [i]now[/i]! But once I settled down, focused on Jesus and growing closer to Him, and letting Him work in His own time... I was no longer confused. Granted, I [i]still[/i] didn't know, necessarily. But I was at peace with not knowing, trusting that God would make it clear when He so wanted. Once I was able to abandon myself into His loving arms in the here and now... the future didn't worry me so much. And once that happened, the future made itself clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 One thing that has continued to present itself is the order that I applied to and ended discernment with back in 2009. The thought continues to arise in my mind of whether or not I should contact them again and ask permission for a second chance. So much has changed in these last 2 years and it makes me wonder if I would be able to persevere this time since I am back on my medication. I was not on the medicine the first time and things were very stressful for me. Even my nurse practitioner said when I returned last year that she believed I would return because she believed I had a chemical imbalance (which is the 2nd time I'd heard it). This is definitely something I cannot take lightly. I don't know if I have the courage to contact them again. I haven't heard from the Provincial Superior since I emailed her to tell her that I was repaying the amount for the airfare in January 2010. If only I had a spiritual director. Maybe I should talk to my Catholic therapist when I see her again on September 14th. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dells_of_bittersweet Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 It's human nature to occasionally be confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1314749564' post='2297728'] You might look at the Religious Sisters of Mercy. Many of the Sisters are medical doctors and your love of math and science would be put to good use there. [/quote] You are the third person to tell me that I should look into the Religious Sisters of Mercy! I've met a couple of the Sisters and I've e-mailed the VD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 [quote name='TheresaThoma' timestamp='1314854055' post='2298511'] You are the third person to tell me that I should look into the Religious Sisters of Mercy! I've met a couple of the Sisters and I've e-mailed the VD! [/quote] Ooooo! It must be the Holy Spirit telling you something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 My reply would be when have I NOT felt confused! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissylou Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I have never been confused about anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feankie Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Sometimes you don't feel as if you're confused, but others can spot it right away. It's almost as if "I'm confused!" is lit up on your forehead in neon lights. Perhaps my training in psychology and spiritual direction is rearing it's head up here, but I'm convinced one has a tendency to attribute (or deny the reality of) confusion to other things.....I'm confused because I haven't had my coffee this morning; because I need to eat and haven't had a bite since last night; because I'm too busy to be confused; because I'm just a bit worried, certainly not confused, etc. I'm not confused because I'm too busy keeping all the balls in the air; because if I was confused, I'd surely realize it and do something about it;, etc. Confusion is often just like dysfunctional families, it takes others to gently (or somethings not so gently) related what appears to be the problem. I've had my bouts of confusion in all areas of my life over the years. It's always made me step back and reexamine the situation and my reaction/s to it. Having a close personal friend and/or spiritual director is a great way to sort out whether its true confusion, a denial mechanism, or something else. [size=2][i]O Sacrament Most Holy, O Sacrament Divine, All Praise and all Thanksgiving, Be Every Moment Thine.[/i][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InPersonaChriste Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Not sure... Im confused about this topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 where am I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissylou Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Apparently Francis Clare doubts me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 It says online that "confused" can mean "lacking logical order or sense." I'd say I'm very much in my head and I'm a planner, so confusion doesn't happen so much as uncertainty, worries, doubts, dry times, up times, etc. It puts me in a very uncomfortable place in having to wait and see if an Order is open to my health issues, and in having to consider this in discerning Orders. But, it also helps me because as someone said it's like a "tool" in finding what Order you may be called to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1314906013' post='2298759'] It says online that "confused" can mean "lacking logical order or sense." I'd say I'm very much in my head and I'm a planner, so confusion doesn't happen so much as uncertainty, worries, doubts, dry times, up times, etc. It puts me in a very uncomfortable place in having to wait and see if an Order is open to my health issues, and in having to consider this in discerning Orders. But, it also helps me because as someone said it's like a "tool" in finding what Order you may be called to. [/quote] Yeah, I probably didn't word the title properly. I probably should have said, "Have you ever felt doubtful?" not confused. I think it makes me feel better knowing there are other women on medication who are trying to discern. I don't feel as alone as I used to now that I know this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faithcecelia Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1314912277' post='2298814'] Yeah, I probably didn't word the title properly. I probably should have said, "Have you ever felt doubtful?" not confused. I think it makes me feel better knowing there are other women on medication who are trying to discern. I don't feel as alone as I used to now that I know this. [/quote] But doubts and confusion are very different. Before entering Q I was confused [i]and[/i] I had some doubts. Since I was sent away I have had absolutely no doubts whatsoever, but I've been very, very confused! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feankie Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Apparently Francis Clare doubts me. Ouch! I don't doubt you I'd really have to know you personally (and know you quite well) to doubt you.! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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