Have You Ever Felt Confused?

[OnlySunshine]

Have you ever felt confused during the course of your discernment? Like you weren't sure if you were called or not and all the religious orders you looked at just made it worse? I think I have looked at too many in the course of these 4 years and in the last few months have had to withdraw from my discernment to focus more on my prayer life so that I could better prepare. But now, I'm really wanting to discern again. I'm seriously thinking about visiting an order this fall if I can raise the money in time for the retreat I want to go to.

[faithcecelia]

Yes, yes and a thousand times yes! Until the day I entered Q, even though I had been in contact with them 2years, I changed my mind almost daily. Once they sent me away, I agonised over it and couldnt work out what else I could possibly do to get them to accept me again. Now I believe it all happened as it did because NH is where I am truely meant to be, but it has been unbelievably confusing getting to here! Who knows, it could all get more confusing over again...

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1314734291' post='2297584']
Yes, yes and a thousand times yes! Until the day I entered Q, even though I had been in contact with them 2years, I changed my mind almost daily. Once they sent me away, I agonised over it and couldnt work out what else I could possibly do to get them to accept me again. Now I believe it all happened as it did because NH is where I am truely meant to be, but it has been unbelievably confusing getting to here! Who knows, it could all get more confusing over again...
[/quote]

I can certainly understand that. I remember how confused I was when I applied to the Carmelite DCJ Sisters and found out I wasn't called there after all when I went to work in their apostolate before entering. I think it was probably the most confusing time of my life since I had such a wonderful time with the Sisters at the Motherhouse and then everything changed when I went to the convent in East Chicago. The Provincial Superior tried to explain to me that just because you feel at home in the Motherhouse, it doesn't mean that you are 100% called to that order. That just made it more confusing and I often wondered if I made the right choice in leaving, but really, it was the only option at the time.

Now that event is behind me and I really try not to put so much stock into feelings and rely more on the mutual discernment between me and the order. If I do visit an order and think that I might like to discern more seriously, I would visit more than once to gauge whether or not I made the right choice. I think contact with the community is extremely important. I didn't keep regular contact with the community I applied to, so I didn't feel like I could really talk to them since they were like strangers. Not good at all.

[arfink]

Yes, I am frequently confused. About everything. Which is probably my ADD.

But on a more serious note, I was crushingly confused to the point of despair when I was told I could not continue on in seminary. It took me a very very long time to see God's hand in that one.

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='arfink' timestamp='1314737749' post='2297608']
Yes, I am frequently confused. About everything. Which is probably my ADD.

But on a more serious note, I was crushingly confused to the point of despair when I was told I could not continue on in seminary. It took me a very very long time to see God's hand in that one.
[/quote]

I really can relate. I spent an awful long time thinking 'God, you had and still have my Yes, so whats going on???'

[Strictlyinkblot]

Most definitely. I've been searching for about eight years. For such a long time I prayed to God to know where I belonged. I felt so restless, I longed to join an order but I felt no peace at the thought of joining at the same time.
Mother Teresa was asked one time how did a woman know if she was called to the religious life. She simply answered 'She knows, in the depth of her heart she knows'. After eight years of prayers I finally feel some kind of peace and I'm pretty certain I'm called to religious life. Having said that I still change my mind on a regular basis.

[TheresaThoma]

At one point in my discernment I was very confused because I was torn between my love for engineering(math/sciences) and the pull I felt towards religious life. It took me some time to realize that my love for math and science are gifts from God, something that I should use no matter what my vocation is. I'm now trusting that He will lead me to where I can best put those gifts to use for Him.

[Aya Sophia]

If if I were old enough (I'm still a PM child, with this my fourth post) I'd love to start a thread on the nuts and bolts of discernment. In the meantime (until I grow up), here's a link I found a long ago from a Carmelite community website which presents the vocational discernment process in a lucid and simple way. Hope this is helpful . . . [url="http://www.lafayettecarmelites.org/god_calling.php"]http://www.lafayettecarmelites.org/god_calling.php[/url]

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='TheresaThoma' timestamp='1314740884' post='2297625']
At one point in my discernment I was very confused because I was torn between my love for engineering(math/sciences) and the pull I felt towards religious life. It took me some time to realize that my love for math and science are gifts from God, something that I should use no matter what my vocation is. I'm now trusting that He will lead me to where I can best put those gifts to use for Him.
[/quote]

You might look at the Religious Sisters of Mercy. Many of the Sisters are medical doctors and your love of math and science would be put to good use there.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Aya Sophia' timestamp='1314744360' post='2297649']
If if I were old enough (I'm still a PM child, with this my fourth post) I'd love to start a thread on the nuts and bolts of discernment. In the meantime (until I grow up), here's a link I found a long ago from a Carmelite community website which presents the vocational discernment process in a lucid and simple way. Hope this is helpful . . . [url="http://www.lafayettecarmelites.org/god_calling.php"]http://www.lafayette...god_calling.php[/url]
[/quote]

I believe I read that earlier in my discernment in 2009 when I was looking at Carmelite orders. I'm going to bookmark it so I can come back and read it when I need to. I also found this useful and I am thinking about contacting these Sisters again:

[url="http://www.sistersofthemostholysoulofchrist.com/index-5.html"]Spiritual Direction Quotes from the Sisters of the Most Holy Soul of Christ[/url]

[she_who_is_not]

[quote name='TheresaThoma' timestamp='1314740884' post='2297625']
At one point in my discernment I was very confused because I was torn between my love for engineering(math/sciences) and the pull I felt towards religious life. It took me some time to realize that my love for math and science are gifts from God, something that I should use no matter what my vocation is. I'm now trusting that He will lead me to where I can best put those gifts to use for Him.
[/quote]

One of the Nashville Dominicans has a PhD in Math. I think her name is Sr. Nicolas.
And one of the DSMMEs has a PhD in Engineering.

[MaryJJD]

oh yes. i've spent much time over the last four years being confused BUT its been worth it and helped me grow in ways I don't think I would've otherwise. I've taken a break for now, as there is nothing else I can do but wait, and the more I try to do things, the less able it seems I am able. Although I seem to know more about myself, I know less now about life etc than I thought I did-or perhaps, am more aware of how much I didn't know. That said, I am more peaceful now than I ever was, even in all this not-knowing whats going on.

Confusing. Yep

Edited August 31, 2011 by MaryJJD

[Lisa]

I think everyone feels confused at some point- or at least I hope they do or else I'm more hopeless at this than I thought! Discernment, by definition, is trying to figure out Someone else's will for you. He doesn't always tell us straight out, but lets us experience life on our own before completely surrendering to Him. That means we will get confused; we won't hear him right. Sometimes, we'll even downright ignore what is right in front of us.

It's because we live in a fallen world. Adam and Eve got to talk right to God- imagine how amesome that would be! He told them exactly what to do and what not to do, which they still ignored.

To me, discerning is a bit like being a baby or a young toddler. They aren't quite old enough to exactly understand what their mother/father want for them, but sometimes they get a firm 'no' if they are going to get into something really bad. The rest of the time, their parents let them try things and learn on their own. And sometimes, they just get distracted and look from one person and thing to another, and then just need to be picked up and carried by mom/dad.

[FutureSister2009]

I just feel confused about what Order do I really want to enter. I really want to enter my Franciscan Community but there is still a part of me that feels drawn to the SSVMS

[inperpetuity]

Confusion? Oh yes, and finally figuring out that I'm the one who was confused, not God. I used to actually get frustratrated with Him! And, not only confused, but distracted, attached, mainly to myself, and well you get the point. An illness made me stop and pray more, particularly mental prayer, and daily. This is what helped me to trust God and know that He has accepted the offering of my life, so I am more content to wait for Him now. I just recently had a conversation with a sister who told me she was waiting for God to give her the green light before doing something. I knew what she meant. I guess this is what Mother Teresa was talking about. Apparently, some of us have to wait longer than others. I heard Him call at 27 and was determined to enter the convent by 28, I am now 47.