Scared To Death

[Maggyie]

or just anxious to death, more like. I have an anxiety disorder and it is has been well-controlled with cognitive-behavioral changes but lately I notice I'm developing some of the thought patterns again. I guess it is good that I recognize what's going on, right? It's my brain messing with me again. Thanks, brain.

I don't know if it's the wedding coming up or what but I have a lot of worries - worried the actual wedding day won't come off properly, worried we won't be able to conceive children (I have recurrent cysts and... yeah), worried we'll wind up moving out of state for work (I love it in Cleveland), worried we'll lose our jobs and never achieve our dreams, worried I'll have to work a job I hate forever. Worried worried worried worried. It's a waste of energy and I'm so exhausted lately, I need all the energy I can get.

Pray that I manage to get a hold on this anxiety. And that the wedding day goes well, we can have babies, we get to stay in Cleveland all our lives, and we get to live out our dreams as a family.