Back To The World And Discerning Again

[Muus]

Hi guys!

On 6th march 2010, I was entered by the SSVM. In the end of august I've decided, however He decided this was not my way. My first SD has ever said that I'm contemplative but I'm very stubborn... 'No, I'm want to be a apostolic sister not a contemplative one.' I don't why, but I was very afraid for being a contemplative. So, my first SD let me free to find out.

When the general chapter was started in Bracciano, we make a tour and visit with our novice mistress (she is a member of the general congress) the trappestines in Viterbo. I was very shocked about the difference between the ssvm and the trappestines. My curiosity won and I was start to read a book about the rule of Benedict. I don't why but I've found many answers in his rules what I've had.

After the trip to Palestina, my first novice mother (in the netherlands) send me to know more about mission life, I've to make a call to the general superior to tell (she is also dutch and will decided about dutch postulants and novices) that their congregation is very beautiful but it's not what He want. Yes, they've also contemplative life but I think that He want me to look into life of Benedict. She let me free and I was always free to come back after my research.

It was a very hard time to being back to 'normal life'. A month later I was talking with a vocation director of the organisation of religous life in the Netherlands and he has said that I've to go to the contemplative Benedictines in the Netherlands, their foundress is Mère Cécile Bruyère.
In October of 2010 I've make a visit in their abbey and talked a little with the novice mistress. In the beginning of January 2011, I'm moved to a city near the abbey and found a little room in a house with a couple of students (I'm not a student and this a cheap solution) and found work in the city. I visit the contemplative sister regulary, once a month I've a conversation with the novice mistress and every two months I sleep in their guesthouse for few days (on weekends).

In September, I will meet the abdess. In November I stay for a week in their monastery and then my pre-aspirancy will starts. When it going well and with the permission of the abdess, I can make a life in in april for six weeks in their monastery and will meet the other sisters. It's really exciting!

[sub]- I'm sorry for my language mistakes, my knowledge of English isn't excellent. I'm a dutch [/sub]

[LaPetiteSoeur]

Hi! And welcome (back?) to Phatmass. We will definitely love having you here on VS!

Prayers for your continued discernment to the contemplative life. Thankfully, God gave us free will, and your SD was [i]amesome[/i] and let you try out the apostolic life. God worked through your time in apostolic life to show you His holy way!

It's must be very exciting (although also scary, ) to be meeting the abbess in less than a month! Do you know when in November your pre-aspirancy starts?

And don't worry about your language mistakes, we here make plenty (and many of us speak English as a first language!) and don't mind at all!

[MargaretTeresa]

Yay for discernment!

I'm still at the stage where I don't know if I'm contemplative or apostolic called. Since I've been at home (I'm normally at university), my pastor is making me wait for a list of potential SDs. BUT I GET IT THURSDAY!

And here in a week and a half I'm going to visit a bunch of different communities. I'm super excited.

I'm praying for you!

[Maximilianus]

Your English is good. Welcome back

[dominicansoul]

Welcome back friend!!! Many many prayers for your continued discernment!!! :D

[cmaD2006]

Prayers. The transition back is hard, and to discern again is harder. Sending you a hug and lots of blessings and grace from our Lord.

[InPersonaChriste]

amesome! and welcome back!

[stlmom]

I have great regard for true Benedictine spirituality. Praying that you find clarity in your discernment. Welcome back to the phorum!

[faithcecelia]

Hi! Beginning again is hard and painful, but personally I am glad I am in this position as I know so much more. Im away now til Friday but will look forward to reading more about your journey. God bless you.

[franciscanheart]

Wonderful! Welcome back for the time being and don't worry about your English! We understand it just fine.

[inperpetuity]

Congratulations on finding the Benedictines! Benedictine spirituality is beautiful. It's very hard to leave religious life and go back to the world, I know, I did it too. God will not fail to reward your generosity. I will pray for your discernment.

[vee]

[Clare~Therese]

Hi!