Stuggling With The Catholic Faith

[Guest Ann-Elizabeth]

I'm seventeen years old, and I've been brought up Catholic. When I was a little kid, we (my family) went to church every Sunday. Then, our lives became extremely hectic with family issues and we didn't go as much. Now I go with my dad every Sunday because I'm trying to decide if I really want to be confirmed in the Catholic church.
I believe in God. For a while I thought I didn't, but I now believe I do. What I don't believe are some of the things the church does and doesn't stand for. I don't know if I can confirm myself in a church I don't 100% agree with.
For one, I'm pro-choice. Because I don't think it's my decision for somebody else. I have no idea what I would do in a situation where abortion was an option, but it's not up to me what someone else does.
Also, I don't believe that homosexuality is a sin. I'm not gay, but I have friends and family who are, and I believe that you love who you love.
I also don't think that it's wrong to be an atheist or to believe in another God.
Those are some of my issues with the church. I'm not sure if I want to be a Catholic with those issues, and I'm not sure if the Catholic church wants me because of it.
I love God, and I know that God loves me no matter what church I'm in. I just want to make sure that I chose the right one for me.
Any insight?

[dUSt]

1. The Catholic Church definitely wants you.

2. You probably should not be confirmed with your current beliefs about the church. It may be best to wait until you are ready to accept the Church, and what she teaches.

With that said, let me ask you a question. What exactly do you believe about God? How do you know who God is? Do you believe God changes based on what people believe about Him, or do you think God is who He is, and is a constant, unchanging God--and we are just trying to figure Him out?

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='dUSt' timestamp='1312412613' post='2281084']
With that said, let me ask you a question. What exactly do you believe about God? How do you know who God is? Do you believe God changes based on what people believe about Him, or do you think God is who He is, and is a constant, unchanging God--and we are just trying to figure Him out?
[/quote]
This is the question you need to ask yourself. It's difficult, in a society in which we are taught that everything should conform to our tastes and standards and that everything should be tailor-made for our opinions and preferences, to accept that perhaps some things aren't about what we want as individuals.
As Dust said, reflect on whether you should really be looking for a church that is right for you or whether your should be looking for the true church.

[she_who_is_not]

It's perfectly normal to go through periods where you have doubts or questions about your faith. God meets you where you are. Do not be afraid to go to Him in prayer and talk to him about these things. Being obedient to the Church is not always easy, however, great graces flow from that obedience. You may not always agree 100% with the all of the Churches teachings. It happens, we all have to work through it.

When I became a Catholic, I struggled with the same issues that you are struggling with now. It took me years to come to terms with some of this stuff. I would suggest that you prayerfully engage with the social teachings of the Church. Try to find the work of the Holy Spirit within them. Maybe learn about Theology of the Body as a start. The teachings about abortion and homosexuality strike at the core of the Church's conception of the dignity of the human person. There is great beauty to be found even if you are starting from a position of skepticism.

Religion is not a political statement. It's not about finding the group you agree with and pledging your allegiance. Your beliefs about abortion and homosexuality may change over time but the truth as proclaimed by the Catholic Church will endure forever. Go to God in prayer. Speak to a priest. A good priest or DRE or sister or knowledgeable lay person. Everyone experiences periods of doubt and internal dissent. These frustrations are an opportunity to grow in the faith and not necessarily an indication that you belong elsewhere.

God loves you. God wants you. The Church loves you, wants you, and needs you. God is willing to show Himself to you within the Church. He made your intellect and your free-will. It would be unreasonable to expect us not to struggle from time to time. The key is using that place as a point to meet God and to understand His plan for us in our lives on Earth. Seek and you will find.

I'll be praying for you!!! God bless.

[thessalonian]

To add to what Dust said, you are quite correct God loves you know matter what you do. The problem is our love for him. Jesus said "if you love me keep my commands". Now he must have left a way for us to know what those commands are. He must have left a way for us to know what is moral and what is not for he said "you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". Is truth relative? Is it based on what our human minds, weakened by sin, think? And what is love? Is it to let other people alone? If one is about to slice his wrist is it his body and he can do what he wants with it? Is that loving? No. Neither is allowing one to engage in the killing of their own child in the womb. Nor is it loving to condone homosexual acts (though homosexual temptations are not condemned by the Church) because homosexuality is clearly against natural law. Natural law recognizes that nature as God made it is abundantly lifegiving. It also recognizes that man and woman compliment eachother and in order to give life they come together. I would highly encourage you to go out to [url="http://www.christopherwest.com"]www.christopherwest.com[/url] and do a study on John Paul II's theology of the body.

Further you say that God would love you in whatever church you are in. That again is true but where can you best love him. The Catholic Church is the ONLY church that can trace it's doctrines and it's church structure all the way back to Christ. The Catholic Church is the place where you can get the fullness of the truth on the Eucharist, the breat of Life. Jesus says "unless you eat the flesh of the son of man and drink his blood you shall not have life within you.". It is the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Christ and one cannot knowingly and willingly turn their back on it and still say they love Christ.

Edited August 3, 2011 by thessalonian

[Brother Adam]

First of all thank you for taking the time to think about these things, you are actually thinking about things that matter. Good for you.

I can only echo what others have said. Yes, the Catholic Church wants you and loves you, not for itself, but for your own sake. The Church is a conduit through which the love of Jesus is shared in the Sacraments so that we may grow in grace. If you are going through Confirmation prep now is the time to question and ask questions about what you believe.

dUSt's questions are excellent and how I start every baptism class I do for parents - we believe that God exists, that He has told us something about himself and His plan for us. Some day your life is going to end. You are going to die. What happens then? What we believe about God, this life, heaven, and hell and what is true are often two different things. At one point in history everyone believed the earth was flat and the center of the universe, believing something does not make it true though.

So how can we know that it is true that God exists and that what the Catholic Church believes is true? We examine, explore, pray, think, reflect, and refuse to trust our own understanding. The more we know, the more we realize we don't know.

[quote name='Ann-Elizabeth' timestamp='1312408862' post='2281058']
For one, I'm pro-choice. Because I don't think it's my decision for somebody else. I have no idea what I would do in a situation where abortion was an option, but it's not up to me what someone else does.[/quote]

Okay, sure. Let's say you are walking down the road and you see a baby struggling and drowning in 2 inches of water while her parents are watching and not doing anything. Is it okay for them to let their baby drown in two inches of water? Would you have an obligation to try to save the baby?

[quote]Also, I don't believe that homosexuality is a sin. I'm not gay, but I have friends and family who are, and I believe that you love who you love.
I also don't think that it's wrong to be an atheist or to believe in another God.[/quote]

I have friends who are homosexual as well. I love my friends who are homosexual as well. What is sex? What is it to be used for?

Why isn't it wrong to be an atheist? Can God both exist and not exist?

[quote]Those are some of my issues with the church. I'm not sure if I want to be a Catholic with those issues, and I'm not sure if the Catholic church wants me because of it.[/quote]

It is one thing to have doubts, but if you openly reject the Catholic faith you are right, you should not receive the Sacrament of Confirmation. If you only have doubts about the teachings of the Church but are willing to submit to her out of the love Jesus, then you should be Confirmed. It sounds like you are struggling with relativism.

[MissyP89]

You're basically me when I was 17. I can definitely relate to your post. I'm sorry you're having such a tough time with your faith -- it's definitely not an easy set of beliefs, for sure! Though it's a great sign that you're actually taking the time to learn, explore and ask questions. Good for you! Too many teens just go through Confirmation without thinking or caring about what it means.

I'm 21 now, and very happy as a Catholic. It's true that many of my views [i]have[/i] changed since I came back to the Church five years ago. But I still have quite a few friends who are gay, and of other faiths. One of my closest friends is a Satanist, actually. You can have different views and still love them just as much.

What I would suggest is for you to pick up Catholicism for Dummies. That will give you a good idea of WHY we believe what we do about abortion, birth control, etc. etc. Talk to us here. Ask lots of questions. If you have a priest or sister you trust that you can talk to, that's another good place to start.

The important thing is to learn as much as you can, and to pray about it every step of the way. Make it a point to go to Mass every week, and Confession when you need to. It took a loooong time for me to be OK with a lot of Catholic teaching, but it did happen as I started to learn and understand more.

Good luck.

[To Jesus Through Mary]

Nothing to add to what the others said, but just know I (and many others on here) will be praying for you as you find your way.

[Ed Normile]

Wow, choices, that is what you are struggling with. I was blessed to never even have to consider belief in God or the Church, I just always have believed. Naturally with my belief in God came an awareness and belief in the devil, its one of those things that every denomination believes in, an opposition to God that battles for your soul daily. One of its titles is the deceiver, self explanatory, deceptions always come wrapped in attractive packages, unlike God who gave us clear instructions and asked us to believe in and obey Him, which includes some sacrifice on our part. God is a God of truth, His Church, the repository of these truths.

Those are some tough issues you are dealing with, being pro-choice sounds so noble, not wanting to interfere in anothers life or the choices they make, almost god like in itself, afterall he did allow us freewill and all He asked was for us to love Him. Homosexuality is another issue where it seems we are interfering in anothers life or the choices they make. Its tough to reconcile not wanting to limits another persons freewill and being against the choices they make, even though its clear we must not condone these practises as they both go against the word of God as he wants us to be fruitful and multiply and not to kill his creations. God is life, God is love, He is the One God the Creator, its His mandate to give life or take it away. He also made it clear there are no other gods, so a belief in Him negates no belief in him or belief in another god.

The Holy Catholic church as founded by Jesus Christ who is God has never changed its truths since He walked the earth over 2000 years ago, many protestant sects have sprang forth due to issues of men who believed in a different view than the Church and formed different churches, these sects have formed because of mans inability to believe in the truths of the Church and although they worship the One True God they lack the completeness of the truth in the Catholic Church. I will pray that you join the Communion of Saints in the Catholic Church and are able to accept her teachings, one of which is love, out of this love we want all to worship God in His Holy Catholic Church and never to hate anyone, we can not condone their actions or sins, but we do love them and by our example we hope lead them to the truth of the Church.

Come, partake of the Body of Christ, be filled with His Holy Spirit, be enriched by the goodness and truths of all who came before you in His Communion of Saints, accept God as an adult in the Sacrament of Confirmation and be part of His Holy Catholic Church and bless God by your faith.

ed

[Adrestia]

Ann-Elizabeth,

Much of the advice above is great. I just wanted to share my experience. Like some of the people who have already replied, I've also struggled with some of the same questions that you listed. In my case, it did not cause me to doubt belonging to the Catholic Church. I decided to be Catholic because it seems ridiculous to me that it would take people 1500+ years to figure out what Jesus really meant. Therefore, I knew that if I was to be Christian, I would be Catholic or Orthodox.

It took a lot of prayer & study for me to understand the church's teachings, but I still felt that I belonged. Studying the lives of the saints and the early church scholars helped me a lot. Many of them struggled too.

God bless.

[mortify]

Ann,

If you look at Catholicism as a whole, the issues of homosexuality and abortion make up a very very small partion of it. As long as you know the essence of Catholicism, and see that it is beautiful, smart, and joyful, I think those periphery issues will eventually make sense to you. Always remember that the Church is ancient, and any explicit decision she makes is after centuries of careful thought and reflection.

Out of curiousity, I would be interested in knowing why you think abortion and homosexuality are ok.

[Guest Ann-Elizabeth]

[quote name='mortify' timestamp='1312429271' post='2281283']
Ann,

If you look at Catholicism as a whole, the issues of homosexuality and abortion make up a very very small partion of it. As long as you know the essence of Catholicism, and see that it is beautiful, smart, and joyful, I think those periphery issues will eventually make sense to you. Always remember that the Church is ancient, and any explicit decision she makes is after centuries of careful thought and reflection.

Out of curiousity, I would be interested in knowing why you think abortion and homosexuality are ok.
[/quote]

[Guest Ann-Elizabeth]

Sorry, I'm responding from my phone so it didn't quite work, but to answer your question, I believe that homosexuality is okay because love is love. I can only hope that when I'm older, I'll find a man who I love, and who loves me. And let's say a friend of mine finds a woman who she loves and loves her back, and that's okay. It's love, plain and simple.
I'm not saying that you are wrong by any means, because we are all entitled to our opinions and beliefs.
And I'm not necessarily saying that abortion is always okay. I don't believe that abortion is the way to fix all unwanted pregnancies. It's ultimately not my choice to make for someone else.
And I know that I'm opening a whole other can of worms with what I'm about to say, but someone mentioned birth control, and I don't think it's a sin either. Because I take it. Now before anyone goes after me for it, I'm NOT taking it to prevent a pregnancy. I don't plan to have sex until I'm married. I take it because I have back acne (gross, I know) and it helps to clear it up.
Some girls my age take birth control because they're sexually active, but the way I see it, if the birth control is preventing ovulation, thus preventing an egg from being fertilized, thus preventing an unwanted pregnancy, doesn't that reduce the number of abortions anyway?
And I've been thinking about it, and I'm beginning to see the Catholic church as my mormon friends. I don't agree with everything they believe in ( ie: planets in the afterlife and whatnot) but I'm still their friends, because at the end of the day, they still matter to me.

[add]

[quote name='Ann-Elizabeth' timestamp='1312439740' post='2281394']
Sorry, I'm responding from my phone so it didn't quite work, but to answer your question, I believe that homosexuality is okay because love is love. I can only hope that when I'm older, I'll find a man who I love, and who loves me. And let's say a friend of mine finds a woman who she loves and loves her back, and that's okay. It's love, plain and simple.
I'm not saying that you are wrong by any means, because we are all entitled to our opinions and beliefs.
And I'm not necessarily saying that abortion is always okay. I don't believe that abortion is the way to fix all unwanted pregnancies. It's ultimately not my choice to make for someone else.
And I know that I'm opening a whole other can of worms with what I'm about to say, but someone mentioned birth control, and I don't think it's a sin either. Because I take it. Now before anyone goes after me for it, I'm NOT taking it to prevent a pregnancy. I don't plan to have sex until I'm married. I take it because I have back acne (gross, I know) and it helps to clear it up.
Some girls my age take birth control because they're sexually active, but the way I see it, if the birth control is preventing ovulation, thus preventing an egg from being fertilized, thus preventing an unwanted pregnancy, doesn't that reduce the number of abortions anyway?
And I've been thinking about it, and I'm beginning to see the Catholic church as my mormon friends. I don't agree with everything they believe in ( ie: planets in the afterlife and whatnot) but I'm still their friends, because at the end of the day, they still matter to me.
[/quote]
The sins you speak of, if avoided will maximize and enhance life as we know it on earth.
Faith is something else all together.
Even Jesus struggled, at times and if he did, how can we not also

Edited August 4, 2011 by add

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Ann-Elizabeth' timestamp='1312439740' post='2281394']
And I know that I'm opening a whole other can of worms with what I'm about to say, but someone mentioned birth control, and I don't think it's a sin either. Because I take it. Now before anyone goes after me for it, I'm NOT taking it to prevent a pregnancy. I don't plan to have sex until I'm married. I take it because I have back acne (gross, I know) and it helps to clear it up.
Some girls my age take birth control because they're sexually active, but the way I see it, if the birth control is preventing ovulation, thus preventing an egg from being fertilized, thus preventing an unwanted pregnancy, doesn't that reduce the number of abortions anyway?
And I've been thinking about it, and I'm beginning to see the Catholic church as my mormon friends. I don't agree with everything they believe in ( ie: planets in the afterlife and whatnot) but I'm still their friends, because at the end of the day, they still matter to me.
[/quote]
Hi Ann-Elizabeth. I'm just going to deal with this part for now, if that's OK. I was put on the pill at 17 for dysmenorrhea and menorraghia. I wish I hadn't been. I didn't question it, because I didn't know enough to question, and I was raised to not question doctors, being related to a few to a few of them. I wasn't Catholic at the time, so that wasn't an issue for me at that time. I had never been told about the side effects of the pill, like that it can raise cholesterol (and did for me) or that it [url="http://www.billings-ovulation-method.org.au/act/cervix/ageing.shtml"]ages the cervix[/url] 2 years for every year of being on it, which can adversely affect future fertility. I have a real problem with doctors prescribing the pill for everything, because in most cases, the problem can be fixed with a different, non-hormonal treatment. After being on the pill for years, and not finding a doctor who was willing to try an alternative or even figure out why I had the problems I did, I broke down and asked my uncle, an OB/GYN for advice. He told me about a non-hormonal treatment he prescribed to patients who couldn't/wouldn't take a hormonal medication. So I got my GP to prescribe it. I also started charting and realised that the irregular bleeding was because of bleeding at ovulation, which is actually quite common in teens and probably would've corrected itself given time.

As for preventing pregnancies, well, the pill works in a number of ways. The combined pill first works to prevent ovulation, but this doesn't always work. It also works to change the cervical mucus to prevent the sperm from reaching the egg, should ovulation occur, but this doesn't always work. So it also works to prevent implantation of the embryo. Look at the insert with your pack of pills and it will tell you this, I imagine (every pill pack I've seen has said this). Most medical professionals I've encountered will deny that it is abortifacient because they tend to define the start of pregnancy as implantation, so preventing implantation isn't seen as an abortion in their eyes, but even if you define pregnancy in that way, life still starts at conception, so it is terminating a life. We don't know how often this happens, but women can and do get pregnant on the pill or other hormonal contraceptives, even with perfect use. The Guttmacher Institute [url="http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_induced_abortion.html"]reports[/url] that over half of all women who get an abortion were using contraception the month they conceived, so it's not preventing abortions any way you look at it, really.

Leaving doctrine aside, for your own health, I'd recommend finding an alternative treatment for your acne. Feel free to PM me about anything. God bless.