Crying Rooms

[homeschoolmom]

Pfft... we sometimes stagger Masses just because we want to. Dd likes to go to the same mass (early) as her friends. Ds sometimes prefers going to a later mass because he likes to sleep in. 95% of the time we go together, but there's nothing inherantly wrong with splitting up.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' timestamp='1312906750' post='2284784']
Pfft... we sometimes stagger Masses just because we want to. Dd likes to go to the same mass (early) as her friends. Ds sometimes prefers going to a later mass because he likes to sleep in. 95% of the time we go together, but there's nothing inherantly wrong with splitting up.
[/quote]
No, there isn't. Like I said, I prefer that we don't, but that's me. I'm also weird.

Edited August 9, 2011 by Archaeology cat

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1312907987' post='2284797']
No, there isn't. Like I said, I prefer that we don't, but that's me. I'm also weird.
[/quote]
I don't think you're so weird. In the four months my hubby and I spent apart this spring, the times I missed him most were usually at Mass. (Although, I also severely missed Mass at our parish at home, in general, which really didn't help things)

[Papist]

A big challenge for me is finding a pew that does not have an end-pew hugger. You know, those people that insist on sitting at the end of the pew, typically elderly. It is preferable for a parent to sit at the end for a quick and quiet exit, especially with a nursing infant.

[MissMaro]

My siblings and I weren't allowed to go to Church until we were old enough to understand what was going on. We played in the nursery or went to Sunday School during that time, depending on the Parish. (We moved a lot when we were kids.)

Anyway, I don't mind little kids at Mass, except when they scream the whole time, but I have to admit that not being allowed to go when I was small turned going to Church into a privilege and I was very enthusiastic about Church when I finally was allowed to go. So, while I don't think badly of people who take tiny kids, and I certainly appreciate it when they take the screaming ones to the crying room, there can be some advantages to taking kids to Church only when they are old enough to understand what is going on. (Though we were baptized as babies, of course.)

For example, my sister takes her toddlers to Church with her, and the four year-old thinks anything to do with Christianity is dead boring. I don't know if he'd think that if he'd been raised like my mom raised us, but I must confess I worry about the little kids who seem bored out of their minds at church, even in the crying room. Boredom seems like the worst possible first association a child could have with Church, and so I'm not sure how I'm going to raise my children, if I'm ever blessed with any. But I will certainly consider the fact that all of my siblings and I are enthusiastic Churchgoers, even now that we're adults.

I was also kind of surprised to read that St. Therese wasn't allowed to go to Church until she was five or six. It doesn't really prove anything, but it does kind of show that not going can help make kids be more enthusiastic about Mass, and it certainly didn't seem to do her any harm.

[tinytherese]

[quote name='MissMaro' timestamp='1313099152' post='2286138']
For example, my sister takes her toddlers to Church with her, and the four year-old thinks anything to do with Christianity is dead boring. I don't know if he'd think that if he'd been raised like my mom raised us, but I must confess I worry about the little kids who seem bored out of their minds at church, even in the crying room. Boredom seems like the worst possible first association a child could have with Church, and so I'm not sure how I'm going to raise my children, if I'm ever blessed with any. But I will certainly consider the fact that all of my siblings and I are enthusiastic Churchgoers, even now that we're adults.

[/quote]

To those of you who take babies and toddlers to Mass, what do you do to keep them from being bored?

And concerning infants, wouldn't a parent be preoccupied taking care of the infant during Mass which would pose as a distraction for them?

[dominicansoul]

i'm just wondering where the women with babies went during the Sermon on the Mount???

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1313102828' post='2286179']

To those of you who take babies and toddlers to Mass, what do you do to keep them from being bored?

And concerning infants, wouldn't a parent be preoccupied taking care of the infant during Mass which would pose as a distraction for them?
[/quote]
They look through the missal and/or I point out what's going on and explain a little. They sometimes get bored during the liturgy of the word, but usually pay attention during the liturgy of the Eucharist. Yes, they can sometimes be a distraction for me, but I that's my problem and I think it's more important for them to be there. I brought it up with my priest, and he agreed with me.

My husband says he & his siblings weren't allowed to go to Mass until they were older. It can work like that, I just prefer not to do that. Either way you do it, parents need to make sure they're teaching their children about the faith.
[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1313103845' post='2286191']
i'm just wondering where the women with babies went during the Sermon on the Mount???
[/quote]
They breastfed them in slings.

[JenDeMaria]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1313142301' post='2286464']
Either way you do it, parents need to make sure they're teaching their children about the faith.
[/quote]


So true! That is the essential point, after all, isn't it?

I must confess that I have no children of my own, so my opinion is almost completely irrelevant. Having said that, I do not mind loud (little) children at Mass because I, personally, think it's the sound of the triumph of the Culture of Life trampling the Culture of Death to bits and pieces. However, I also think cry rooms are a good thing and that it's wise for parishes to provide a space for mothers and fathers to parent their children outside the pressure of doing so in front of 500 other Catholics who are very strenuously attempting to concentrate on something else.

I will also confess that I occasionally use the cry room in my parish. On days when I attend Mass and realize I'd really like to hear the homily of the priest who is offering the next Mass I sometimes slip into the cry room and listen from there. Our cry room is also used by people who do not arrive on time to Mass and cannot find seating (our later Sunday Masses always have at least a dozen people standing in the back for each service, often more, so the cry room offers up extra pews at least).

So I vote that cry rooms are useful and I'm glad my parish has one.

[Socrates]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1312798531' post='2283278']
And that's actually what I have a problem with. For one, I think it's important to go as a family, but I'm also thinking through this logistically - I have 2 kids, the younger being 16 months. God willing, I'll be pregnant again in the next few months, meaning I'd have a 4.5-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a newborn. We hope to have many more children, as well. I breastfeed, and I do so past infancy. I will not express for my own kids (I donated, but I don't do it for mine - no need, and Kieran wouldn't take expressed milk anyway; never tried with Charlotte), so that means I also wouldn't be able to leave the baby since he'd likely need to eat at some point during Mass; it's only been recently that Charlotte hasn't needed to breastfeed at Mass as much, though it sometimes still happens, particularly if she's only just awakened prior to going to Mass (a common occurrence). So basically I wouldn't be able to get to Mass for years, at least not on a regular basis, and when I did it probably wouldn't be as a family. I don't see that as an ideal situation. My husband and I did go to different Masses when I was pregnant, because he was a flautist at our old parish at 11.00 but my morning sickness didn't allow me to make it to Mass past about 10.00, so I went to a different parish at 8.00. Definitely wasn't ideal and I was glad when we were able to go as a family again.

Maybe it's possible to do as your pastor proposed if you either don't breastfeed, don't breastfeed full-term, or express, but I don't think that's ideal, either. Pre Vatican II, though, breastfeeding rates weren't great, scheduling feeds was en vogue, and many weaned completely by 6 months, so their time of needing to stay with the child was more limited.

Cry rooms can have their place, I won't deny that. I don't think they're necessary, but they can have their place. I will take my child out to the narthex if he's screaming. It's just common courtesy to try to make sure my children do not unduly distract others, I think.

The one parish in England where I've seen a cry room, I think it was done well. The cry room was to the side of the altar, with a full-length window so everyone could see what was happening on the altar. I think that could help curb the cry room being used as a free-for-all, instead of putting a cry room in the back where the kids can't see anything.
[/quote]
I should have explained better.

My old pastor wasn't saying that parents of small children should not bring them to Mass, simply that they should use the cry room if they become disruptive. He brought up the pre-Vatican II thing simply to illustrate that removing kids from the pews when they become unduly disruptive is not the horrible anti-life modernist heresy some were making it out to be.

The trouble was that some people were refusing to take their kids to the cryroom, even when they were becoming quite loud and disruptive.

And he wasn't saying that nursing women must go to the cryroom; I was just pointing out that some women choose to use it for that purpose, and I don't think they need to be looked down on for making that choice.

And the cryrooms I'm speaking of are simple small rooms with a window and a speaker - they're not nurseries or play pens.

[Archaeology cat]

Sorry for misunderstanding you, Soc. I agree that if the children become disruptive, the charitable thing is to remove them (and to impose consequences, IMO). Today, for example, Kieran wasn't behaving appropriately at Mass. It's not that he was disrupting things or disturbing other people, but he was behaving inappropriately and he knew it. After a couple of warnings, he was taken out to stand in a corner. He did much better when he returned. I'm certainly not averse to taking out a child who needs to be taken out, either for discipline or being inconsolable or whatever. It happens, you deal with it, and move on.

[Amppax]

I just got back from mass about an hour ago, and I thought I'd say a little about this. Sitting in front of my family was a young family, with two babies and a toddler. Although the children were a bit disruptive at times, overall it was just so encouraging to see the whole family together at mass.

That wasn't really on topic so much, oh well.

[Brother Adam]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1313103845' post='2286191']
i'm just wondering where the women with babies went during the Sermon on the Mount???
[/quote]

I quiet imagine given the very large, open space and large numbers that even a screaming baby would have hardly been a distraction.

[dominicansoul]

[quote name='Brother Adam' timestamp='1313343257' post='2287661']

I quiet imagine given the very large, open space and large numbers that even a screaming baby would have hardly been a distraction.
[/quote]
yeah, i think large outdoor Masses are the best!!!

[MissScripture]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1313343704' post='2287664']
yeah, i think large outdoor Masses are the best!!!
[/quote]
Like at WYD with the Pope.