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Using Grief To Proselytize


Lil Red

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[quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1312345981' post='2280670']
That's almost as bad as the guys who break into widow's houses while their husband's funeral is going on. They troll the obituaries. It was so bad for awhile in Oklahoma that people had house sitters come in during funerals.
[/quote]
we had that happen to someone in our city, so i arranged for house-sitters for the vigil and funeral.

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cmotherofpirl

We always have housesitters during a funeral, but you have to make sure if they are a relative that they don't walk off with what they view as their inheritance while you are out of the house.

And if you put a statue of a saint in the front yard JWs usually stay away :)

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I guess I am the hippie, again.

I thought what the lady did was nice....misguided...but nice.

She offers condolences, and then invites you to 'church'....granted HER 'church'...but 'church' nonetheless.

Given that your Dad didn't know her, it would be logical to assume she doesn't know your Dad. How does she know you are 'as Catholic' as you both are???

I guess charity believeth all things... and judging from the responses so far; I am apparantly WAY off in thinking this was (or could have been) somewhat of a christian-type gesture.

Maybe instead of a sending a scathing letter which really won't accomplish anything (unless you are inviting her to your Church), why not just pray for her?

I understand the loss of a parent can be stressful and sorrowful; so I don't mean to reduce you feelings at all...just sometimes those feelings (when so strong) can skew the outlook on other things..(perhaps like this letter)

just my 2 cents...

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This is horrid. I'm thankful that this didn't happen to my Mom and me. To me, this is akin to doing altar calls at a funeral. I have, unfortunately, been there.

There is a time and a place people. Seriously. :love: ya red!

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[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1312373496' post='2280787']I guess I am the hippie, again.

I thought what the lady did was nice....misguided...but nice.

She offers condolences, and then invites you to 'church'....granted HER 'church'...but 'church' nonetheless.

Given that your Dad didn't know her, it would be logical to assume she doesn't know your Dad. How does she know you are 'as Catholic' as you both are???

I guess charity believeth all things... and judging from the responses so far; I am apparantly WAY off in thinking this was (or could have been) somewhat of a christian-type gesture.

Maybe instead of a sending a scathing letter which really won't accomplish anything (unless you are inviting her to your Church), why not just pray for her?

I understand the loss of a parent can be stressful and sorrowful; so I don't mean to reduce you feelings at all...just sometimes those feelings (when so strong) can skew the outlook on other things..(perhaps like this letter)

just my 2 cents...[/quote]my dad did not send a scathing letter in response. I wrote what he put on her letter and sent her letter back.

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I understand and respect how you would feel that way. It certainly is not my proselytizing methodology of choice, to be sure!!

When it happened to me (when my Dad passed), I guess it just hit me differently.

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IcePrincessKRS

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1312373496' post='2280787']
I guess I am the hippie, again.

I thought what the lady did was nice....misguided...but nice.

She offers condolences, and then invites you to 'church'....granted HER 'church'...but 'church' nonetheless.

Given that your Dad didn't know her, it would be logical to assume she doesn't know your Dad. How does she know you are 'as Catholic' as you both are???

I guess charity believeth all things... and judging from the responses so far; I am apparantly WAY off in thinking this was (or could have been) somewhat of a christian-type gesture.

Maybe instead of a sending a scathing letter which really won't accomplish anything (unless you are inviting her to your Church), why not just pray for her?

I understand the loss of a parent can be stressful and sorrowful; so I don't mean to reduce you feelings at all...just sometimes those feelings (when so strong) can skew the outlook on other things..(perhaps like this letter)

just my 2 cents...
[/quote]

I think you're a nicer person than I am. The way I read it she was timing her letter specifically to hit him when all the other condolences and such would be fading away. It seemed very deliberate, and I am sure the condolences were sincere, but the timing paired with the invite just felt shady to me. Had she left off the invite to church or the comment about waiting to send it so it wouldn't "get lost" among the other condolences I don't think it would have struck such a negative chord with me. Also, and I could be totally WAY off base here, but I thought I had read Red's Mom's obituary and I could have sworn it talked at length about her being Catholic. I'm all about prayer and support, just not when it's paired with an agenda. (I'm not trying to pick a fight or anything, obviously, I just wanted to explain why I said what I did because I know I sounded mean.)

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On the one hand, I can see where maybe she thought she was doing the right thing. On the other hand, I'd think an obituary would include funeral arrangements and anyone of sound mind would go "oh that church has the funeral, they'll probably help the family too". I know I would have been far less charitable than your dad.

[quote name='Azriel' timestamp='1312377545' post='2280802']
This is horrid. I'm thankful that this didn't happen to my Mom and me. To me, this is akin to doing altar calls at a funeral. I have, unfortunately, been there.

There is a time and a place people. Seriously. :love: ya red!
[/quote]

Altar calls at funerals, been there, done that. Still find it in awful taste to try and use the dead as some sort of object lesson. x.x

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