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An Honest And Civil Discussion On The Modesty & Bikinis


Cherie

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homeschoolmom

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1310229642' post='2264961']
I, for one, think it's great that you're so close with your designated driver that you shop for swimwear together!
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[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1310230075' post='2264971']
:hehe:
[/quote]

:hehe:

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Lilllabettt

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1310245878' post='2265062']
:blink:

they're proud of their stuff, huh?
[/quote]


Oh yeah, there's an entire section of NYC full of Orthodox Jewish design houses. Very serious about what they do - many of them are educated at Parsons.

They make a mint on "modest" bridal couture alone.

Edited by Lilllabettt
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IgnatiusofLoyola

[quote name='Brother Adam' timestamp='1310243009' post='2265041']
I don't think women want to see a gut hanging out over shorts anyway (or other men). :) Men can be immodest in their swimwear, however there is a biological difference between men and women.
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I wear a modest tankini. Frankly, now that I am over 40, I have become invisible to the opposite sex anyway.

Plus, I think it's a good "life lesson" for teenage boys to see what happens to a woman's body after she is 40. Brother Adam--Tell me when your next youth group swimming outing is, and I'll show up. I guarantee that afterwards at least 5 of your teenage males will suddenly realize they have a vocation! :lol4:

Tiny bikinis, no. Even a T-shirt over them doesn't help much. There are LOTS and LOTS of fashionable modest swimsuits now. Lack of selection is no excuse. The Lands' End catalog has a HUGE selection of modest swimsuits.

To me, a modest one-piece suit or tankini should be fine.

But, half of the responsibility for impure thoughts is the man's. If a man cannot swim near a woman wearing a modest one-piece or tankini without having mortal sin thoughts, then the man should only swim alone or when it's "men-only."

If a woman WANTS to dress even more modestly, that's fine. But, I don't think young women should be guilted into wearing long pantaloons and long-sleeves unless they want to. The young men have to take SOME responsibility for their thoughts.

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[quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1310242320' post='2265036']
Do guys have to be modest too? I often hear guys retort with a joke like "lol there's nothin' sexy about my beer gut hanging out over my swim shorts so I doubt I'm tempting anyone lol" but I guess some women could use the same argument (myself included :sad2:). But is it ok for men to walk around half-naked but not ok for women? And why?
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Wearing a shirt is probably a good idea. Modesty, avoid sunburn (and skin cancer!!), and you don't have to worry about losing your scapular in the water.

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IgnatiusofLoyola

[quote name='XIX' timestamp='1310247450' post='2265077']
Wearing a shirt is probably a good idea. Modesty, avoid sunburn (and skin cancer!!), and you don't have to worry about losing your scapular in the water.
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Wearing a T-shirt for men is good. Women don't necessarily want to look at your beer gut--or the opposite--your scrawny chest.

As for the bottoms, I prefer loose swim shorts on men--and not too short. Speedos make me embarrassed. If a guy feels a need to "show his stuff" in a tight bathing suit, I figure he has his underwear stuffed in there, too, to hide his "shortcomings." :lol4:

Edited by IgnatiusofLoyola
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The argument your DH makes about modesty being a cultural construct is very true. For instance even a very modest woman nowadays (ankle length skirt, wrist length turtleneck) would be considered immodest using the standards of Jesus' time (cover that hair!). It's also true that in other parts of the world the breasts are not sexualized, being seen simply as practical appendages for breastfeeding babies. Men don't blink twice at seeing breasts; those cultures tend to get hot and bothered about women's legs instead. Keep in mind a topless native woman once did a reading at a papal Mass (I forget which of John Paul II's trips it was).

However I don't think it's true just yet that women 's chests have been de-sexualized in the US. Clearly not. Maybe one day? If all the people who should NOT be wearing bikinis from an aesthetic point of view keep wearing bikinis, maybe the female form will lose some its intrigue. The muffin top bikini does not turn anyone on!!!!

Shabby Apple has some nice, more modest swimwear. It's not full-coverage by any stretch of the imagination but it's quite good enough I think. [url="http://www.shabbyapple.com/c-55-swim.aspx?pagesize=9999"]http://www.shabbyapple.com/c-55-swim.aspx?pagesize=9999[/url]

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ThePenciledOne

[quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1310242320' post='2265036']
Do guys have to be modest too? I often hear guys retort with a joke like "lol there's nothin' sexy about my beer gut hanging out over my swim shorts so I doubt I'm tempting anyone lol" but I guess some women could use the same argument (myself included :sad2:). But is it ok for men to walk around half-naked but not ok for women? And why?
[/quote]

Um.....I don't necessarily get that argument at all. Plus, women and men are wired differently in that way, from my experience so I would say no.

I come from beach town, so nothing surprises me at all anymore...

But if women would learn exactly what size they are, that would save a lot of modesty talk to begin with.....

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carmenchristi

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1310245185' post='2265058']
both my son (2 years old) and my daughter (4 years old) wear swim shorts and a swim shirt. i also got a hand-me-down one piece for daughter that fits nicely.
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When I was 4 years old I wore my birthday suit to go swimming.... at most a pair of undies! Then again, my parents never could get me to stay dressed at that age. I never was a big fan of overly constricting clothing... and look where I ended up!

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MissScripture

[quote name='carmenchristi' timestamp='1310249013' post='2265087']
When I was 4 years old I wore my birthday suit to go swimming.... at most a pair of undies! Then again, my parents never could get me to stay dressed at that age. I never was a big fan of overly constricting clothing... and look where I ended up!
[/quote]
When my uncle was little, before his bath, he would take off all his clothes, run out to give his dad a goodnight kiss out in the garden and then back into the house, take a bath and go to bed. He said that stopped the time the little girls from down the street were coming up the driveway to use the phone. :hehe:

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Basilisa Marie

[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' timestamp='1310247450' post='2265076']
But, half of the responsibility for impure thoughts is the man's. If a man cannot swim near a woman wearing a modest one-piece or tankini without having mortal sin thoughts, then the man should only swim alone or when it's "men-only."

If a woman WANTS to dress even more modestly, that's fine. But, I don't think young women should be guilted into wearing long pantaloons and long-sleeves unless they want to. The young men have to take SOME responsibility for their thoughts.
[/quote]

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/like.gif[/img]

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IgnatiusofLoyola

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1310249205' post='2265090']
When my uncle was little, before his bath, he would take off all his clothes, run out to give his dad a goodnight kiss out in the garden and then back into the house, take a bath and go to bed. He said that stopped the time the little girls from down the street were coming up the driveway to use the phone. :hehe:
[/quote]

How old was your uncle when that happened? 15? ;)

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Oh yes, men need to dress modestly, too. I'm reminded of the commercial on TV where Ryan Gosling takes his shirt off to reveal pecs and a six-pack. There are women out there that go ga ga for that stuff. So, I agree with the poster about girly mags and men needing a shirt out of water.

I think the Splash Gear that I wear could modestly be pinned to the elbows and knees and perhaps still be modest. I prefer them to the others mentioned because they aren't tight and revealing in that manner.

I saw a woman on the "19 and Counting" show wear a swim wear outfit that went to the knees and elbows, as I recall. It was all very loose and baggy, and a thick material. Those ladies always wear skirts, too.

Edited by JoyfulLife
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Speaking a someone who struggled with modesty/chastity in a big way for several years, I used to wear a bikini. And even though I told myself "I bought it because it was cute, it doesn't matter what anybody else things, etc," I was really buying in hopes that my boyfriend at the time would like it. In looking for real, meaningful, and authentic love, I invited other people to use me by what I wore, said, and did. A bikini might not always send that message, but it's much more likely to send the message of "use me" than a more modest one piece, tankini, etc.

Also, on the note of where to find modest swimsuits: I only go swimming about once a year, so in preparation for a weekend trip over memorial day, I ran into Walmart. They had a inexpensive and CUTE swimdress! It wasn't old-ladyish and reminded me of the cute 50's swimwear. Something a little bit like this but less poofy at the bottom.

[url="http://www.roamans.com/Product.aspx?PfId=76641&ProductTypeId=1&affiliate_id=017&affiliate_location_id=13&mr:trackingCode=F32CEF83-2391-E011-9F24-0019B9C043EB&mr:referralID=NA"]http://www.roamans.com/Product.aspx?PfId=76641&ProductTypeId=1&affiliate_id=017&affiliate_location_id=13&mr:trackingCode=F32CEF83-2391-E011-9F24-0019B9C043EB&mr:referralID=NA[/url]

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Those skirt bathing suits look just like a nighty for hubby in the bedroom. And who would wear that in public? This boggles my mind... :idontknow:



[img]http://refashioner.com/images/libs/garment/c/1797-annabelle-joule-silk-nighty-285x420.jpg[/img]


[img]http://media.redcatsusa.com/is/image/roamans/mm/0528_61666_mm.jpg?wid=269&hei=387&qlt=95&op_sharpen=1[/img]

Edited by JoyfulLife
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