Lilllabettt Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I'm doing Teach for America. Currently in Phoenix doing the murderously intense teacher training. Surrounded by liberal social-justic-y types, which I happen not to be, but its cool. Interesting folks. In late July I am moving to Tulsa for 2 years. I'd made friends with this chick here. She is a real nice person, we have similar take on things, she seemed pretty easygoing and normal. We talked, and agreed, that we should be roommates in Tulsa. Its good to live with people doing the program, because they can be a major support. Anyway. She knew I was religious because I told her I wanted an apartment close to a Catholic Church. That was okay. Yesterday our little group of teacher trainers had a "share out" where we had to go around and tell life stories. Long story short, I had to say that I'd been in the convent. They all thought it was cool, I was happy. But this morning she texted me. Her: "i am not religious, do you think we would have trouble living together?" I said: "Last time I shared an apartment it was with an atheist and a jew. The only thing I don't want is drugs and heavy drinking." To which she said: "Ok, then. Are you 100% in tho? If you aren't, you can back out, no hard feelings." I said: "No i am 100% ... as long as you are, lol. If you feel you want to do something else, I understand." Her: silence Me: (2 hours later): let me know what you decide Her: I'm just talking to my fam. Sorry I will text later. So she's has to break it down with her family whether she wants to live with me or not. to which my response is, do I really even want to live with HER anymore???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 maybe she's not talking to her family about you. though I would add to the drugs and heavy drinking that you don't want lots of guys in and out at all hours of the night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 [quote name='missionseeker' timestamp='1309635454' post='2262194'] maybe she's not talking to her family about you. though I would add to the drugs and heavy drinking that you don't want lots of guys in and out at all hours of the night. [/quote] maybe not. although from the context i kind of doubt it. I don't care that much about guys. I'll have my own bedroom with a lock, so its not a huge concern. Living with someone whose judgmental of religious people on the other hand ... I just don't get it. Maybe she had some bad experience with "religious" people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed Normile Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1309636030' post='2262196'] maybe not. although from the context i kind of doubt it. I don't care that much about guys. I'll have my own bedroom with a lock, so its not a huge concern. Living with someone whose judgmental of religious people on the other hand ... I just don't get it. Maybe she had some bad experience with "religious" people? [/quote] or maybe she is afraid she is a bit too wild in her lifestyle for you to handle? ed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MithLuin Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Most likely, she's afraid that your being religious will make you judgemental or critical of her. Or that you will somehow be pushy about asking her to come to church with you or put pictures of fetuses on the fridge or something. This may be based on someone she knows. It would be better to have the 'So, do you still wanna be roommates?' conversation in person rather than over text. That way, you can ask her to her face what her concerns are. Religion and politics are hotbutton issues. Finding out that you disagree on them can make people think twice about wanting to hang out together, let alone live together for a year! So, I wouldn't be too worried that she has concerns....as long as you both adress these concerns before you make final plans to be roommates. Maybe in her mind 'religious' means 'in a cult' or 'fundamentalist Mormon' or something, and she's afraid you're a creepy psycho. If that's honestly what she thinks of you...no, you probably [i]don't[/i] want to be roommates! My current roommate considers me super-religious (she doesn't go to church). We're friends, though, and discussing faith and morality isn't a problem at all - it comes up from time to time, we listen to each other, and there's no hard feelings or argument. Which is interesting...because I'm much more likely to pick fights over things than most people - I'm quite argumentative! (I know....you [i]never[/i] would have noticed.....) So, sometimes how well the differences will get along or clash really depends upon the two particular people and what dynamics the relationship has aside from the 'contentious issue' where you differ. I agree that living with another Teach for America person would be [i]far[/i] preferrable to random roommates, so I hope it works out! If not, your next best bet might be to plug into the local Catholic community and find a roommate that way.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 I guess I don't understand why she would think I would be judgmental. I know her type of personality pretty well. She knows I am a chilled out person. Maybe the convent thing has her thinking "woah, extreme." We'll see. Its just kind of disappointing you know? We'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faithcecelia Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1309638060' post='2262218'] I guess I don't understand why she would think I would be judgmental. I know her type of personality pretty well. She knows I am a chilled out person. Maybe the convent thing has her thinking "woah, extreme." We'll see. Its just kind of disappointing you know? We'll see. [/quote] Oh bless you, I think its just a bit scary for some people. I was on pilgrimage at Easter and we stayed with parisioners en route one night. A couple of hours into the evening my host said 'I am so glad you are normal, someone had been winding me up and told me you had been a nun' she was quite shocked when I confirmed that yes I had! And she was Catholic! Hopefully your friend is just having a wobble and needs time to get her head around it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4588686 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I'm kind of sad and disappointed to learn that you use 'lol' in text messages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed Normile Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 [quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1309640826' post='2262243'] I'm kind of sad and disappointed to learn that you use 'lol' in text messages. [/quote] Whats wrong with using lol, its a lot easier than typing out " little old ladies" afterall. ed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice_nine Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Lol is actually a word in dutch that means "to have fun" or something like that clearly, she was flossin her bilingual skills Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I learned it means "laugh out loud." Some say "lots of love." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissylou Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 [quote name='Lilllabettt' timestamp='1309638060' post='2262218'] Maybe the convent thing has her thinking "woah, extreme." [/quote] This is my guess. She wasn't bothered by your wanting to choose an apartment close to a church. But now something has thrown her for a loop. Maybe you can help educate her that nuns are people too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I would suspect, but it's just a guess, that maybe she's afraid that she'll be told how to live or be unable to live how she normally does?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I am guessing it's the fear that you are super religious and will act "weird" and she won't know how to act around you. I know when my sister just TOLD people she was going to the convent, some of her friends started acting weird, and they'd known her almost her whole life. And even people who I told started acting differently around ME. I think, if given the chance to see that you're a normal human being, and don't spend every spare minute on your knees praying or something, she could come around. But she might be awkward for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 [quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1309637777' post='2262216'] My current roommate considers me super-religious (she doesn't go to church). [/quote] Ditto with mine that just moved out. And I think personally it's the convent thing that threw her for a loop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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