Question About Being A Volunteer

[OnlySunshine]

I have a question about being a long-term volunteer. As some of you know, I've been stuck in neutral these last few years because of situations with jobs and school and my discernment is going the same way. I don't know what I want for my life. I don't know what God wants for my life, either. I would like to be a social worker, but I don't know if this is my will or God's will. I'm rather confused and I need some time away from home in order to become my own person. I've lived with my parents for 28 years and I've been feeling lately like I'm not who I should be. I haven't had time away from home to mature. My younger sister moved away when she went to college and she changed into an adult. I'm an adult in age, but I don't feel like an adult since I don't have adult responsibilities of living in my own apartment and taking care of myself.

I think that being a long-term volunteer would be really good for me. It would give me a chance to move out of my home and be challenged for once. I'm tired of being stuck in neutral--always taking the easy route and being boring. I want some excitement in my life that will give me a chance to blossom. I also want to give back to God and my community.

I was, unfortunately, not able to get to Church this week to ask my pastor for a reference since I've been having problems with fatigue and sleeping too late (again a product of not having anything fulfilling to do). I am going to shoot him an email, instead. I am supposed to see my therapist next week (Tuesday), and I'm afraid I won't have anything good to tell her unless I do this and finish reading the book she sent home with me (I'm only on page 87 of 700). I only need one more reference and I was thinking of volunteering last year when I lost my job, but my pastor didn't know me since he just started last July. Now that he has been there for a year and I am active in parish ministry as an EMHC and have had a conference with him about my discernment, I'm hoping he will support my plans.

Have any of you volunteered away from home? Do you feel it helped you discern better and help you make better decisions? I'm hoping to be a long-term volunteer with a Catholic organization (hopefully with religious) so I can mature in my faith as well.

[krissylou]

I spent some time with the Jesuit Volunteer Corps after college. Wanna chat?

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='krissylou' timestamp='1309482672' post='2261342']
I spent some time with the Jesuit Volunteer Corps after college. Wanna chat?
[/quote]

Unfortunately, I can't at this time. I need to get off the computer to read my book. If you want to send me a PM, I'd be glad to chat that way.

[OnlySunshine]

Well, I just got done reading a chapter of the book. I don't know why I thought it was 700 pages. I must be confusing it with another book. It's actually only 398 pages long and now I'm on page 135. It's a little difficult to follow, but I'm trying my best. It takes a little bit of thought since it is a psychotherapy book after all.

[MithLuin]

I did Cap Corps (Capuchin Franciscan Volunteer Corps) my first year out of college. My sister did Catholic Medical Mission Board, since she is a nurse. Currently, I'm applying to the Salesian Lay Missioner program to go to Africa. There's positives and negatives, of course. Doing a volunteer year allows you to 'try out' living in community - you'll be living with other young adults who also have an interest in getting involved with a religious community and helping 'save the world'. So, that can be very good. Of course, you'll also be living with people from very different backgrounds from you (likely from different states). They may not understand your desire to discern. And, any problems you've had with depression/mental health may become more pronounced under the more stressful situation of doing a volunteer year. But it is good to get out of the house and try something new, so, hey, go for it!

Check out these resources:

[url=https://www.catholicvolunteernetwork.org/volunteers/response_directory.php]CNVS Response Directory[/url]

[url=http://www.pallotticenter.org/index.php?m=cd]Pallotti Center's Connections Directory[/url]

[AccountDeleted]

Anything that gets you out of your current situation would be good just because the change will help you to get some distance and perspective and although you won't be responsible for bills, rent etc, you will be learning more self-discipline, which it sounds like you need if you are sleeping your life away right now (depression can get worse through too much sleep or irregular sleep habits such as staying up all night and sleeping all day).

If you can do this, give it a shot and don't start thinking about all the obstacles or challenges that will face you - these are the things that will help strengthen you as well. And when your time with them is up, you might have a much clearer picture of what you want to do next with your life, hopefully something that doesn't involve going back home to live. All animals know when it's time for their young to leave the nest, but it's harder for humans to send their kids away when they worry about them so much!

I hope it really works out for you and I will pray for you. And if you can, try setting the alarm and getting up even if you have nothing to do. Jump into the shower and have some breakfast and then thing won't look quite as bad - low blood sugar in the morning doesn't help! I would say good luck, but I don't believe in luck... Pray as if everything depended on God and act as if everything depends on you!

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1309489285' post='2261397']
I did Cap Corps (Capuchin Franciscan Volunteer Corps) my first year out of college. My sister did Catholic Medical Mission Board, since she is a nurse. Currently, I'm applying to the Salesian Lay Missioner program to go to Africa. There's positives and negatives, of course. Doing a volunteer year allows you to 'try out' living in community - you'll be living with other young adults who also have an interest in getting involved with a religious community and helping 'save the world'. So, that can be very good. Of course, you'll also be living with people from very different backgrounds from you (likely from different states). They may not understand your desire to discern. And, any problems you've had with depression/mental health may become more pronounced under the more stressful situation of doing a volunteer year. But it is good to get out of the house and try something new, so, hey, go for it!

Check out these resources:

[url=https://www.catholicvolunteernetwork.org/volunteers/response_directory.php]CNVS Response Directory[/url]

[url=http://www.pallotticenter.org/index.php?m=cd]Pallotti Center's Connections Directory[/url]
[/quote]

Yeah, that was one of my worries was that I could have problems with my depression or anxiety while I'm there, but I'm on my medication and will continue to take it while I'm volunteering. The only thing is, I will have to look into where I can get refills since I will most likely be going out of state. I'm only looking at the ones that offer medical insurance since I don't have that now, but a lot of them will not cover pre-existing conditions. I really hope that doesn't hold me back.


[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1309491055' post='2261405']
Anything that gets you out of your current situation would be good just because the change will help you to get some distance and perspective and although you won't be responsible for bills, rent etc, you will be learning more self-discipline, which it sounds like you need if you are sleeping your life away right now (depression can get worse through too much sleep or irregular sleep habits such as staying up all night and sleeping all day).

If you can do this, give it a shot and don't start thinking about all the obstacles or challenges that will face you - these are the things that will help strengthen you as well. And when your time with them is up, you might have a much clearer picture of what you want to do next with your life, hopefully something that doesn't involve going back home to live. All animals know when it's time for their young to leave the nest, but it's harder for humans to send their kids away when they worry about them so much!

I hope it really works out for you and I will pray for you. And if you can, try setting the alarm and getting up even if you have nothing to do. Jump into the shower and have some breakfast and then thing won't look quite as bad - low blood sugar in the morning doesn't help! I would say good luck, but I don't believe in luck... Pray as if everything depended on God and act as if everything depends on you!
[/quote]

Well, I'm hoping that during my time there, I will be living with religious since there are so many programs available where you can do that very thing. One of them that I am interested in is the Dominican Volunteers in Atlanta, GA. Their actual deadline has passed, but they still accept applications if they have open spots.

I'm also hoping that I'll get a clearer prospective of where I should go from there. I hope that if I am called to religious life, I will be able to discern more clearly and if I'm called to married life, then I pray that I will know that, too. It's so hard to discern at home where you feel stifled by parents who don't quite understand what religious life is all about. My mom is a little bi-polar on the subject--some days she's supportive and other days she says that I should think about something other than religious life. I depend on her a little too much so that's something that I really want to change. I don't want to feel like a baby all my life and be dependent on my parents for everything. I eventually want to be independent and if this volunteer gig helps me do that, I'll be so grateful to God.

[Sarah147]

I must commend you for being so aware of what's going on and really trying to change things about yourself and your life. With that determination, I think you will eventually find what God wants for you.

I also think live-in volunteering sounds like a lot of fun. What a new and exciting experience that ought to be!

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1309534901' post='2261580']
I must commend you for being so aware of what's going on and really trying to change things about yourself and your life. With that determination, I think you will eventually find what God wants for you.

I also think live-in volunteering sounds like a lot of fun. What a new and exciting experience that ought to be!
[/quote]

Thank you. I appreciate the compliment. The benefits largely outweigh the risks so I am very excited. I am still looking at the various opportunities available to try to decide which would be best for me. I was considering one that is about 2 hours from me, but they want 3 references and I only have 2 from clergy members that I know. I don't know who I would ask since I cannot ask my former employers.

[MithLuin]

Often times, they are as interested in personal references as professional. Get a close friend (or even a family member) to fill it out, unless of course they request you not use family! Also, if your former boss is not an option, maybe a former coworker you got along with? A former roommate? Professor? There's lots of people who could potentially vouch for you, so be creative!

This time around, I knew I could not use my pastor for a spiritual reference, because I've moved around so much in the past year or so that finding a priest who knows my name would be a bit of a challenge. It doesn't help that I attend about 5 different churches semi-regularly rather than having a home parish. (And the church I do attend most often tends to have rotating priests....) The priest I am seeing for spiritual direction is very supportive of my going abroad for a volunteer year, but he only just met me this spring and has seen me a grand total of...twice.

So, for a spiritual reference, I had to choose between the director of my house when I was in Cap Corps 8 years ago or the director of the Missionaries of the Eucharist when I did the Walk two summers ago. Both know me well enough to vouch for my 'Catholic' life, and also know me as a person and know something of my character. The first is a religious brother, and the second is a lay person who is my own age. I felt that either one fit the bill of spiritual reference, even though neither was anything like my pastor. When I was younger, of course I would have asked the parish priest who knew me since I was a little girl and knew my whole family...but currently, I had to be more creative in identifying a spiritual reference. I'm involved in the Church, and there are people who know that!

So, don't be deterred if your references don't fit neatly into the requests, and always ask if someone would be suitable rather than assume they are not!


It sounds as though you are being very sensible in how you choose a volunteer group, so I would say just continue to ask questions and be willing to do something a bit daring...even if it might mean you'll 'get ruined for life' as the JV's say!

[cmaD2006]

You could consider a shorter term volunteer position as well. I did a 4 month volunteer position in Mexico, and was able to take a leave of absence from my job to do so. It was wonderful -- it really gave me a new focus.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1309564124' post='2261805']
You could consider a shorter term volunteer position as well. I did a 4 month volunteer position in Mexico, and was able to take a leave of absence from my job to do so. It was wonderful -- it really gave me a new focus.
[/quote]

Yes, this is true. I'm considering only ones that allow you to do shorter long-term assignments like 3 months. I'm not sure if doing one year would be a good idea for my first time.

[Chamomile]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1309564124' post='2261805']
You could consider a shorter term volunteer position as well. I did a 4 month volunteer position in Mexico, and was able to take a leave of absence from my job to do so. It was wonderful -- it really gave me a new focus.
[/quote]

Was that through a program or with a religious order?

[To Jesus Through Mary]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1309480677' post='2261320']
I have a question about being a long-term volunteer. As some of you know, I've been stuck in neutral these last few years because of situations with jobs and school and my discernment is going the same way. I don't know what I want for my life. I don't know what God wants for my life, either. I would like to be a social worker, but I don't know if this is my will or God's will. I'm rather confused and I need some time away from home in order to become my own person. I've lived with my parents for 28 years and I've been feeling lately like I'm not who I should be. I haven't had time away from home to mature. My younger sister moved away when she went to college and she changed into an adult. I'm an adult in age, but I don't feel like an adult since I don't have adult responsibilities of living in my own apartment and taking care of myself.

I think that being a long-term volunteer would be really good for me. It would give me a chance to move out of my home and be challenged for once. I'm tired of being stuck in neutral--always taking the easy route and being boring. I want some excitement in my life that will give me a chance to blossom. I also want to give back to God and my community.

I was, unfortunately, not able to get to Church this week to ask my pastor for a reference since I've been having problems with fatigue and sleeping too late (again a product of not having anything fulfilling to do). I am going to shoot him an email, instead. I am supposed to see my therapist next week (Tuesday), and I'm afraid I won't have anything good to tell her unless I do this and finish reading the book she sent home with me (I'm only on page 87 of 700). I only need one more reference and I was thinking of volunteering last year when I lost my job, but my pastor didn't know me since he just started last July. Now that he has been there for a year and I am active in parish ministry as an EMHC and have had a conference with him about my discernment, I'm hoping he will support my plans.

Have any of you volunteered away from home? Do you feel it helped you discern better and help you make better decisions? I'm hoping to be a long-term volunteer with a Catholic organization (hopefully with religious) so I can mature in my faith as well.
[/quote]

I have been serving as a lay Catholic missionary in NYC for almost 3 years now. It has been extremely helpful for me in my growth and discernment. The women live in community with the Blessed Sacrament, pray Morning and Evening Prayer together, common Holy Hour, share meals and household responsibilities, and so on.

www.lampministries.org.

But regardless, for me this volunteer/mission experience has changed my life. It has been worth every moment.

Praying for you in your discernment!
TJTM

Edited July 2, 2011 by To Jesus Through Mary

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='To Jesus Through Mary' timestamp='1309571938' post='2261885']
I have been serving as a lay Catholic missionary in NYC for almost 3 years now. It has been extremely helpful for me in my growth and discernment. The women live in community with the Blessed Sacrament, pray Morning and Evening Prayer together, share meals and household responsibilities, and so on.

www.lampministries.org.

But regardless, for me this volunteer/mission experience has changed my life. It has been worth every moment.

Praying for you in your discernment!
TJTM
[/quote]

I've actually heard about that ministry from the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal. It was one they suggested in January 2010 when I talked to Sr. Francis. At the time, I was off my medication and she said that I would have to be off it a while and that it would be beneficial for me to be a missionary for a while. I'm back on my medication per doctor's orders, but God is STILL pointing me in the direction of being a missionary or long-term volunteer. It's avvesome but also a little unnerving since I'm being forced to step out of my comfort zone and do something fulfilling for a change. I'm really having to rely on God which, sometimes, is easier said than done. Thank you for your prayers!