Gay Bullying Is "peer Pressure"

[Ice_nine]

Yeah Kujo, it seems to me he was saying that a lot of times kids will call other kids "gay" and "fa****" not necessarily because the victim identifies himself as a homosexual, it's just because they often use those words to try to emasculate kids and make them feel weak and powerless. Although I don't think that's the kind of "gay bullying" the Tea Partier was talking about.

[kujo]

[quote name='southern california guy' timestamp='1309820055' post='2263127']
That "gay bullying" by kids isn't about peer pressure -- it's about bullying only. At that age you don't know who's going to end up as a homosexual as an adult.
[/quote]

I agree that it has nothing to do with peer pressure, but I totally disagree that children don't know what being gay is. When I was in 2nd grade, there was this kid at my summer camp named Carlos Lopez. Carlos NEVER played any sports and NEVER hung out with other boys. Now, those two things, in and of themselves, weren't indicators that he was gay; however, we knew [i]without a shadow of a doubt[/i] that he was. It was just something that you could tell, even without a full understanding of what being gay means.

Carlos is currently a neighbor of mine, and he lives with his very nice boyfriend Marc. I was always fascinated by him because of how [i]young[/i] he was when it was clear that he was gay. That always stuck with me, and continues to frame my opinions on the subject. Even before he knew anything about sex, he [b]knew[/b] he was gay. He, and some other gay guys that I've spoken to, said that they don't even remember ever having crushes on girls when they were little. Instead, they were more interested in playing with the girls, doing whatever tasks they were prone to do. Again, liking dolls and brushing hair aren't predictors for sexuality. But in this case, in the absence of a sexualized conception of homosexuality, they were part of the person's identity.


[quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1309843870' post='2263199']
Yeah Kujo, it seems to me he was saying that a lot of times kids will call other kids "gay" and "fa****" not necessarily because the victim identifies himself as a homosexual, it's just because they often use those words to try to emasculate kids and make them feel weak and powerless. Although I don't think that's the kind of "gay bullying" the Tea Partier was talking about.
[/quote]

I won't deny that I have used those words a lot in my life. In fact, if I'm being honest, I still sorta do; the couple I mentioned above--Carlos and Marc-- are huge fans of the old school show Fraggle Rock. So much so, that they came up with a nickname for themselves--the Faggles.

In any case, you hit the nail on the head as it pertains to why those words are so hurtful. Our culture has a set of deep-seeded norms and attitudes towards homosexuals, namely men. Ask any guy in here and they'll tell you that they've undoubtedly done or said something throughout their lives that was judged by other men to have been lacking in whatever they felt constituted "manliness." As a result, they were [b]insulted[/b] by being referred to as gay, or a f*ggot, or any derivation of those words. The underlying message is that if you're not a "man" (i.e.- a red-blood, vulgar, stout heterosexual) then you are somehow [i]less[/i] than a real person. That's why those words have such a lasting effect--it doesn't matter whether the person being called one of them is gay or not; rather, it perpetuates the notion that [i]being[/i] gay is pejorative and indicative that you are something to being [i]derided[/i].

That is where the peer pressure comes in. It's not the sort of peer pressure that you see on Degrassi High, where a bunch of leather-jacket clad teens pressure the "new guy" to smoke a cigarette. No, this is a more insidious kind, where children, from a young age, are indoctrinated into a culture that views masculinity as superior to femininity. And when you happen to lie somewhere in between those two things, you're vulnerable to derision from both.

[Jesus_lol]

^great post, kujo.