Voluntary Single Parenthood

[tinytherese]

I know that the catechism speaks of how each child has a right to both a mother and a father, and I don't debate in how important it is to have both, but there are some situations I was wondering about.

What if the child is an orphan or abandoned and no married couple wants them? Sure they'd like to have a mom and dad but they'd like a loving home somewhere. What if the only one willing to do that was single? A single adult might even find them out on the street and take them in for the night at least and come to love them.

Would it be wrong for a couple to choose say a single uncle or grandparent to be the guardian of their children should they pass away? Perhaps they would get married later on.

Also from a pastoral standpoint, what would you say to a single person who chooses to do foster care or adopt? Children are certainly not a commodity or a right, but what do you tell someone who hasn't been able to find a spouse who wants to be parent? That is a very sensitive issue because they long to love a child and be loved by them in return.

[CatherineM]

There are lots of single parents in the world. There are people who have lost their spouses. There are times when parents are single because their spouses are overseas in the military, in jail, or ill. I knew a priest who had adopted two children. How about a single woman who makes the difficult decision to continue a pregnancy caused by a rape? I was the named guardian for some of my brothers' kids, and I was single at the time. I'm glad that I didn't have to fulfill that role. I did raise two kids without a man in the home. It was harder, especially when they became teenagers. I relied on coaches and scout masters to help give them good male roll models. I'd rather see single parents adopt or foster than couples who model immoral lifestyles.

Single parents aren't ideal, but life isn't perfect. My mom's first husband had a mental breakdown during Korea, and she was a single parent for five years until my dad came along. In life we have to strive for the best, but adapt to what life might throw at us. That does not condone a woman purposely choosing to visit a sperm bank in order to become a single mom. There are lots of children who need parents, especially special needs kids, so that should never be necessary.