Consecration To Celibate Chastity

[Chamomile]

[quote name='BarbaraTherese' timestamp='1307578538' post='2251467']
Thank you for very much for the quote, it spoke to me - is there a title to the work? I will try to get it.
[/quote]

You're welcome, and God bless you for sharing your life of grace with us.

The book this is from is [i]The Spiritual Life and How to be Attuned to It.[/i] St. Theophan was a Russian Orthodox monk and bishop.

[Ephrem Augustine]

I am currently an Augustinian Friar.

There was a time, I was certainly certain that I could never be good enough for religious life. (In fact I am more certainly certain after having joined religious life, with the assurance that God qualifies the called, not God calling the qualified).

I had a vision of my vocation with hip hop music. I wanted to be a monastic, and knew how unholy unworthy I was. I imagined being a benedictine lay oblate, connected to a benedictine abbey near la, and live and work in the world. I also imagined myself unworthy for any woman's heart, and wanted to do penence by being a celibate lay person. I imagined that being an oblate would somehow officiate me being celibate too. LOL!

However, God showed me up, and called me to religious life anyways.

I am an Augustinian Friar now.

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='Chamomile' timestamp='1307584126' post='2251494']
You're welcome, and God bless you for sharing your life of grace with us.

The book this is from is [i]The Spiritual Life and How to be Attuned to It.[/i] St. Theophan was a Russian Orthodox monk and bishop.
[/quote]

Thank you very much, Chamomile. I will try to order it this weekend (Thursday 5.06pm here in Sth. Aust).

It would be excellent if others who may be living the celibate lay state as their call would share their stories too.

God bless - Barb
Edit: Emailed my Catholic Book supplier whether they have it or can obtain it for me. I can see though that it is readily available on the net if they can't help.

Edited June 9, 2011 by BarbaraTherese

[BarbTherese]

[quote]I am currently an Augustinian Friar.[/quote]
God richly bless you, in your vocation, Ephrem Augustine.

[quote]There was a time, I was certainly certain that I could never be good enough for religious life. (In fact I am more certainly certain after having joined religious life, with the assurance that God qualifies the called, not God calling the qualified).[/quote]

This is spot on. God qualifies and provides for those whom He calls. Just as He has provided all that is necessary for Pope Benedict and his role as our Holy Father and Jesus' representative on earth - and will continue to do so. So has He provided all that is necessary for you to attain sanctity and great holiness as an Augustinian friar.

[quote]I had a vision of my vocation with hip hop music. I wanted to be a monastic, and knew how unholy unworthy I was. I imagined being a benedictine lay oblate, connected to a benedictine abbey near la, and live and work in the world. I also imagined myself unworthy for any woman's heart, and wanted to do penence by being a celibate lay person. I imagined that being an oblate would somehow officiate me being celibate too. LOL![/quote]

God writes straight with very crooked lines, huh! Not exactly the most usual for a vocations to religious life to be visioned through hip hop music
We are all unworthy always, especially when we consider that we all receive the Body and Blood of Jesus and that we are all members of His One Body on earth, The Church. The great dignity of vocation and call is not so much, to my mind, what that vocation and call actually may be, but that The Lord of Hosts has called to us in the first place and qualifies whom He may call for whatever that call may require.
I must admit, I was wary of another marriage after mine broke up - but I clung to a dream almost subconsciously to live again if possible the roles of wife and mother in a family situation if at all possible. It just never happened and as I journeyed with 'not yet happened' I found that I was experiencing another call that just unfolded in my path and that my hopes, dreams were changing and then had changed. It began after work one afternoon watering the front garden, when two passing teenages said hello. That's how istarted and unfolded from that. I soon had a sign on my front door "Open" and "Closed". I had a 3ft statue of Our Lady (it was actually a funeral monument I had taken a shine to and purchased) on a wooden stand on my front verandah, this was attracting curiousity.

I have searched the a various Third Orders and also Secular Institutes but have never really followed through as no real attraction was ever present despite the fact that it would have offered a Rule, structure and community - and a form of 'being accepted', 'belonging to'. Truth is, I guess, I have a Rule, structure and my community is anyone I come across regardless. I did once put my Rule and structure into writing with much time and careful prayerful effort spent on doing so and gave it to my then director/confessor. He read and gave it back with an "Ok with me". But I had to report next visit, I had left it on the bus stop and couldn't rememberif I had put my telephone numberon it. Which he thought was truly hilarious! I didn't understand then, I do now. The Lord provides sometimes in the strangest of ways (my Dad used to say).

In the final analysis where belonging is concerned, our common denominator no matter who or where we are is that we are all beloved children of The Father.

[quote]However, God showed me up, and called me to religious life anyways.[/quote]

....and let us give thanks!
[quote]I am an Augustinian Friar now.[/quote]

Please keep us in your prayers........God bless - Barb

[BarbTherese]

Rather than start a new thread on the single celibate life. I will attempt anyway to keep this one going so everything (hopefully) is in the same thread.

If you were (or are) called to the single celibate state and made private vows to the evangelical counsels. How would you define and strive to live out these vows (poverty, chastity and obedience) both in a negative and positive aspect. One other question, would "community" be important to you and how would you define your community and live out community in your daily life? This would not be in a Third Order or Secular Institute or anything similar (i.e. already structured) but as a single celiibate and as an individual only outside of anything already structured within The Church. Hope that makes sense! This would have a very remote similarity to the eremitical/hermit life in The Church, where each individual has their own rule and way of life including a lifestyle that included prayer and penance.

The rest of my day today is committed as are tomorrow and I think the following day as well. But I will try to come back to this thread and hope it has some activity. I am hoping Phatmassers will contribute even if they are not in the single celibate state, nor called to it. In that IF THEY WERE, they will contribute how they think they might live their call out in the lay state in the terms mentioned above. If I may seem absent from the thread, I will be back pronto as soon as I can.

Thanks heaps.....God bless......Barb

[AccountDeleted]

Barb - when I fisrt started living as a hermit (after coming back from Carmel last time), one of the posters here (CatherineM I think) suggested that my lifestyle was more that of a poustinic than a hermit because I do have interaction (however limited) with the outside world.

This is a term from the Russian Church and perhaps it is similar to what you are living? You live a single life but you also do good in the world?

wikipedia article
[url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poustinia"]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poustinia[/url]


I live alone and pray the Office seven times a day, do meditation and pray the Rosary. I only go into town now for supplies or when I have business needs, although I have gone back to Melbourne to visit my family on occasion as well, especially when my brother needs babysitting for his four children over a weekend or several days. Apart from that, my life is one of prayer, solitude and silence. The parish community is very small but I do attend either Mass or a lay led liturgy in town (depending on whether we have a priest) and have participated in the Readings or Gospel when asked. I have a key to the church and can go there to pray alone if I want before the Blessed Sacrament, which I do when I can afford the petrol. I have a very limited fixed income so can't do this daily.

This lifestyle will change as soon as I get a job back in Melbourne (which I am trying to find now) because I want to earn money to go to England at the end of year for discernment visits. But even when I have a job, my life outside of working hours will be much as it is now - prayer and silence. I will miss the time and solitude, but rejoice at being able to attend daily Mass!

[Orans]

[quote name='BarbaraTherese' timestamp='1307759317' post='2252252']
Rather than start a new thread on the single celibate life. I will attempt anyway to keep this one going so everything (hopefully) is in the same thread.

If you were (or are) called to the single celibate state and made private vows to the evangelical counsels. How would you define and strive to live out these vows (poverty, chastity and obedience) both in a negative and positive aspect. One other question, would "community" be important to you and how would you define your community and live out community in your daily life? This would not be in a Third Order or Secular Institute or anything similar (i.e. already structured) but as a single celiibate and as an individual only outside of anything already structured within The Church. Hope that makes sense! This would have a very remote similarity to the eremitical/hermit life in The Church, where each individual has their own rule and way of life including a lifestyle that included prayer and penance.

The rest of my day today is committed as are tomorrow and I think the following day as well. But I will try to come back to this thread and hope it has some activity. I am hoping Phatmassers will contribute even if they are not in the single celibate state, nor called to it. In that IF THEY WERE, they will contribute how they think they might live their call out in the lay state in the terms mentioned above. If I may seem absent from the thread, I will be back pronto as soon as I can.

Thanks heaps.....God bless......Barb
[/quote]

Barb, the first thing that I would look at is, why would I make private vows to the evangelical counsels? What would be the attraction or the push to make them? what is the desire, the goal of making those vows? I think this is what is most important to keep in mind ALWAYS. Also the answer to these questions may change overtime as we grow in the vocation, which would be fine.

The "how" of living out those vows would depend on the reasons and appeal for making them, and also on the circumstances of the person.

I don't see this case necessarily similar to that of the hermit because the hermit is called specifically to a life of prayer in the silence of solitude in the search for God. Thus the way of living out the vows is different for a hermit than for a person living in the world with private vows.

To me what you are talking about sounds more like something similar to Secular Institutes. From what I know, many members of secular institutes live in the world as lay people but have private vows or promises or some form of commitment to the evangelical counsels. They gather every so often with other members but they may live as ordinary lay people, on their own, with their job etc and of course have a life of prayer and dedication to God, but not separated from ordinary life.

I think there is a jump from the call of a lay person living in the world with a private vow of chastity, to the lay person who wants to make private vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience. These are two different calls. I'm not sure what are you talking about.

I would also point out that we all are call, as Christians, to live out at least the spirit of the evangelical counsels but to commit oneself to follow Jesus with private vows of the evangelical counsels is quite a step towards a life that has to be externally different, the decisions and lifestyle would be different in this case, at least to people who knows you well, like family and friends. It might be very normal ordinary life for someone who doesn't know you closely.

So again, I will go back to my first paragraph in this post, what is the sense of calling, the desire or goal, the invitation, and also the motivations to respond in this way?

I'm not sure if this is helpful for clarity or I'm just adding confusion ... [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif[/img]

Peace,
Orans

[BarbTherese]

[quote]Barb - when I fisrt started living as a hermit (after coming back from Carmel last time), one of the posters here (CatherineM I think) suggested that my lifestyle was more that of a poustinic than a hermit because I do have interaction (however limited) with the outside world.

This is a term from the Russian Church and perhaps it is similar to what you are living? You live a single life but you also do good in the world?[/quote]
Hi Nunsense - I read a bit about the poustinic and it was very interesting. It seems to me that I am a bit of this and a bit of that but nothing in particular. I guess I have never really sort in these later years nor been attracted to fitting into anything already established in The Church. There have been times when I thought that I could, but closer investigation, prayer and thought seemed to isolate the differences rather than affirm the similarities.


[quote]I live alone and pray the Office seven times a day, do meditation and pray the Rosary. I only go into town now for supplies or when I have business needs, although I have gone back to Melbourne to visit my family on occasion as well, especially when my brother needs babysitting for his four children over a weekend or several days. Apart from that, my life is one of prayer, solitude and silence. The parish community is very small but I do attend either Mass or a lay led liturgy in town (depending on whether we have a priest) and have participated in the Readings or Gospel when asked. I have a key to the church and can go there to pray alone if I want before the Blessed Sacrament, which I do when I can afford the petrol. I have a very limited fixed income so can't do this daily.[/quote]
I am in an suburban situation on the edge of Adelaide CBD. Adelaide is the capital city of South Australia. I am a student and this means that I can only attend Sunday Mass, or Saturday Vigil Mass for me. Lack of vehicle and also the fact that Mass is only once weekly at the Church I can access by bus and that on a school day, meaning I am unable to attend. I do have a prayer schedule but not the whole Office, rather Morning, Evening and Night Prayer along with quiet personal prayer. Fridays Chaplet, Saturdays Rosary and Sundays Lectio. I live alone and in silence. My lifestyle is also very simply penitiential.

I shifted to this area (not at my choice) and it has brought about dramatic change in my lifestyle in that my previous address where I had lived for 30 years tended to be often like Kennedy Airport in the goings and comings and constant interruptions etc. if not by doorbell, then via phone. It was a very poor area beset by every kind of social problem that exists. The Housing Authority, of whom I am a tenant, shifted me to what is really an almost upmarket suburb on the edges of Adelaide. And in my previous accommodation, I could walk to our parish Church - here, The Church is too far and I can only travel by bus. The change to this residence has also very dramatically changed my lifestyle. I take in ironing 3-4 days each fortnight to earn an extra dollar


[quote]This lifestyle will change as soon as I get a job back in Melbourne (which I am trying to find now) because I want to earn money to go to England at the end of year for discernment visits. But even when I have a job, my life outside of working hours will be much as it is now - prayer and silence. I will miss the time and solitude, but rejoice at being able to attend daily Mass! [/quote]
I will keep you in prayer for work and sufficient to do your discernment visits. As well as accommodation in Melbourne. If you ever come Adelaide way, Nunsense, do get in touch with me.

God bless - Barb


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#22 Orans Posted Today, 01:08 PMPM Peep




[quote]
Barb, the first thing that I would look at is, why would I make private vows to the evangelical counsels? [/quote]
Hi Orans
My decision to make private vows goes back over 35 years ago now and mainly because there was unwillingness to consider an application from me due to the fact that I suffer Bipolar Disorder. My confessor/director was the one really who guided me towards private vows and towards a more formal structure of the life I was already living, although he was hopeful for a long time that a community may consider me for religious life, before he too realized what I already knew. I did enter monastic life in my early forties and after Father‘s death. However, it became apparent to me that I did not have a vocation to the life and I left at my own request. I knew because of that entrance and then leaving the life where I was called \ and that was a return to private vows and what was by that time an established way of living that I had left temporarily to try a vocation to monastic life.
It is all a bit more involved than the above, but in essence that's it. I was under the spiritual direction of a priest theologian at the time of making private vows............and it is all now back 35 years ago. An ancient story! Prior to making life private vows or perpetual private vows and probably about 15 years later, I consulted a priest who knew me extremely well.
My previous post with the questions was in the hope of other members contributing their views on private vows and not so much to determine my own thoughts.

[quote]What would be the attraction or the push to make them? what is the desire, the goal of making those vows? I think this is what is most important to keep in mind ALWAYS. Also the answer to these questions may change overtime as we grow in the vocation, which would be fine.[/quote]

I think I understand the above and I do have a spiritual director over some five or more years now after a long patch of seeking a priest director/confessor but meeting with reluctance to undertake my direction and due to the private vows for what struck me as very strange reasons. In those years, my best friend who is a contemplative prioress acted as my, well I guess, more spiritual companion and sometime advisor than director per se. My current director is a religious sister and an ex novice mistress of her Order.

[quote]The "how" of living out those vows would depend on the reasons and appeal for making them, and also on the circumstances of the person. [/quote]
Since only Nunsense and yourself have contributed since I posed the questions, it seems obvious that there is no interest and this is ok. I realized when I posted that there may not be any interest. My post was not to define myself or my way of life, but rather to discern the thinking of others. I have long realized that insofar as Church structure is concerned, I am a patchwork quilt in process. Smiling!
[quote]
I don't see this case necessarily similar to that of the hermit because the hermit is called specifically to a life of prayer in the silence of solitude in the search for God. Thus the way of living out the vows is different for a hermit than for a person living in the world with private vows.[/quote]
I only meant a remote similarity to the hermit life in that ONLY one would have their own rule of life and a life that incorporated prayer and penance. It was a most remote similarity only and that only inthe rule of life, prayer and penance and there any similarity ended. I have posted ratheroften on the subject of the single life in the lay state under the private vows to the engelical counsels - both here on Phatmass and other Catholic Discission sites. I always underscore that in my opinion such a way of life should not be considered without sound spiritual direction and on an ongoing basis.

[quote]To me what you are talking about sounds more like something similar to Secular Institutes. From what I know, many members of secular institutes live in the world as lay people but have private vows or promises or some form of commitment to the evangelical counsels. They gather every so often with other members but they may live as ordinary lay people, on their own, with their job etc and of course have a life of prayer and dedication to God, but not separated from ordinary life.[/quote]
I have looked into a couple of secular institutes but have no real attraction. I have attended in the past a couple of meetings of a Third Order, but had no attraction there either.
[quote]
I think there is a jump from the call of a lay person living in the world with a private vow of chastity, to the lay person who wants to make private vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience. These are two different calls. I'm not sure what are you talking about.[/quote]
It is the poverty of my expression. What I was talking about was indeed making private vows to the evangelical counsels and as a lay person and how one would define them and live them out as a lay person. However, I would not recommend in any way whatsoever any lay person considering such a move without spiritual direction and on an ongoing basis.
The reason I posted in to this thread on a lay person living in the world witha privatge vow of chastity, was because there was a simillarity but only in the living in the world and with the vows being private. A lay person. It seems I have confused~!~~~

[quote]I would also point out that we all are call, as Christians, to live out at least the spirit of the evangelical counsels but to commit oneself to follow Jesus with private vows of the evangelical counsels is quite a step towards a life that has to be externally different, the decisions and lifestyle would be different in this case, at least to people who knows you well, like family and friends. It might be very normal ordinary life for someone who doesn't know you closely. [/quote]
Yes, I understand that all Christians are called to live in spiritual poverty, spiritual chastity and in a spirit of obedience, however to make private vows is to commit oneself to them very literally and radically. I have lived this way now for over 35 years and very literally and very radically, although not overtly so. My family, in the main, have no idea that I have made private vows and live as radically as I do because I do not tell them. I live alone and while my brothers live near me and we are close, I simply do not talk about my life in intimate details, rather in quite general terms. I don’t know what they think about me, but I rather suspect they think that I simply have never remarried for whatever reason - and after 35 years of me showing up at family social gatherings without a ‘date‘, they are used to it and the unusual thing about me and my life for my family would be if I did turn up at a family gathering on the arm of a ‘date’. Then they would wonder what on earth was going on! Smiling The poverty and obedience that I live and quite radically can be lived out quite radically without overt expression. Chastity and celibacy is obvious in that I do not date, live alone and am not married - and primarily because I am Catholic and single and single Catholics most know are called to celibate chastity.
My friends simply think of me as an unmarried Catholic I am sure. I am quite overt about the fact that I am Catholic, but keep my private vows private not because I made an active decision to do so, but because the necessity to state them has rarely occured.
My post posing questions was only to determine what the thoughts of others on Phatmass may be.

God bless - Barb

Edited June 12, 2011 by BarbaraTherese

[Orans]

[quote name='BarbaraTherese' timestamp='1307870339' post='2252724']
My post posing questions was only to determine what the thoughts of others on Phatmass may be.

[/quote]

Hi Barb. Thanks for all that you have shared about your personal journey. It is always amazing how God works in people's lives.

It seems that I misunderstood your question. In any case my suggested questions were meant for self reflection in order to have a starting point, but I can see that you have a defined way of living your vows already and wanted to hear from other people their ideas about, or how they are living private vows.This is an interesting topic and hopefully there will be more responses.

Thanks again,
Orans

[Chamomile]

[quote name='BarbaraTherese' timestamp='1307759317' post='2252252']
If you were (or are) called to the single celibate state and made private vows to the evangelical counsels. How would you define and strive to live out these vows (poverty, chastity and obedience) both in a negative and positive aspect. One other question, would "community" be important to you and how would you define your community and live out community in your daily life?
[/quote]


Although this is a hypothetical answer for me right now, I would say that the poustinik is a wonderful description of someone in private vows.

[font="sans-serif"][size="2"][quote]A [i]poustinik[/i] is one who has been called by God to live life in the desert (poustinia), alone with God in the service of humanity through prayer, fasting, and availability to those who might call upon him or her.[/size][/font]
[font="sans-serif"] [/font]
[font="sans-serif"][size="2"]~Wikipedia[/quote] [/size][/font]



It leaves a great deal of flexibility so one can respond to the Holy Spirit according to whatever is presented. But prayer is still the root of everything...

Orans had great questions for discernment, but I'm not at that stage yet, so this is all I can write at the moment.

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='Orans' timestamp='1307910949' post='2252853']
Hi Barb. Thanks for all that you have shared about your personal journey. It is always amazing how God works in people's lives.

It seems that I misunderstood your question. In any case my suggested questions were meant for self reflection in order to have a starting point, but I can see that you have a defined way of living your vows already and wanted to hear from other people their ideas about, or how they are living private vows.This is an interesting topic and hopefully there will be more responses.

Thanks again,
Orans
[/quote]

It is indeed amazing in the great diversity of ways in which God works in people's lives! And no matter where we are in our journey, we can be assured that God is working in our lives. His school of formation is lifelong and always leading us towards Unity with Himself.

I think it was my fault that you might have misunderstood, Orans. Firstly, I posted into a thread where the topic was consecration to chastity - and my topic was private vows to the evangelical counsels. And as you point out, they are entirely different calls. Your points for discernment were really excellent - and ideally in conjunction with a spiritual director. The other point is that because I may have shared much about my journey on Phatmass and elsewhere, it doesn't mean that every member has read those posts and I can forget this.

At some point, I will probably initiate a thread on the private vows to the evangelical counsels and the questions I asked - with a link to your post re discernment (or even reposting your post if this is ok?). What I should have done in the first place was open a different thread. At this point, there may not be much interest it seems although by posting into this thread, I was way off topic.

Thank you very much for your generosity and kindess..........regards and God's Blessings - Barb

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='Chamomile' timestamp='1307925205' post='2252921']
Although this is a hypothetical answer for me right now, I would say that the poustinik is a wonderful description of someone in private vows.

[font="sans-serif"][size="2"] [/size][/font]



It leaves a great deal of flexibility so one can respond to the Holy Spirit according to whatever is presented. But prayer is still the root of everything...

Orans had great questions for discernment, but I'm not at that stage yet, so this is all I can write at the moment.
[/quote]


Hi Chamomile - Firstly, as you point out, Orans questions were excellent questions for consideration for those discerning private vows to the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity and obedience. Ideally too in conjunction with spiritual direction.

I am grateful to Nunsense for raising the subject of the poustinia which I had never heard about before. Both the poustinic way of life (the Wikepedia entry is interesting; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poustinia .....also http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/poustinia) and the sacred space aside for prayer was very interesting to me.
The book by Catherine Doherty may be worthwhile as well: http://www.madonnahouse.org/publications/doherty/poustinia.htm
I also found pictures of an actual poustinia sacred space and it did occur to me that such a space would be beneficial even for married couples. It would not be all that expensive to build or have built. In fact since sighting the pictures and giving a bit of thought, I could probably build one on this property here for well under $AU1500 and feasible for me to save towards building. http://www.madonnahouse.org/tour/poustinia.html Building a poustinia is now top of my list. I have an ideal spot for it near the main house and an area I can make even more private by tree and shrub planting. All I would really need is a cross, bed, small desk and chair, bookcase. Thank you very much, Nunsense!

Someone once emailed me too about beguines http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02389c.htm

And while personally I dont fit, I dont think, precisely into any pre-established category, my way of life has some features of some of the above if not precisely so. I dont think it is strictly necessary to fall into a pre-established category or compartment - while all categories and compartments may have some aspects that appeal and could be embraced if defined somewhat differently. Be that as it may, if one is drawn to something in particular then that may be the way to journey. And of course, all ideally and very wisely considered with sound spiritual direction. It all depends on where God is leading and very often it will take spiritual direction and always best affirmed by spiritual direction. And I will be talking about building a poustinia with my director next visit in July.
Of course with consecration by The Church, there may be definitions already in place and how to live them out.

God's richest blessing on your discernment, wherever you may be, and may The Holy Spirit be your guide and every inspiration..........regards........Barb

[Sister_Laurel]

The consecration of virgins and widows is a very ancient tradition in the Church, it is the most primitive -early- form of consecrated life. It is a significant step that we now have Canons 604 and 603 in the new Code of Canon Law of the early eighties after VCII.

I know that there is a significant movement of women, single parents of adult children, and others, yearning for some meaningful avenue to live their life in consecrated celibacy dedicated to the spiritual journey and service to the local church community.

There is no doubt about what the Canons say so far. But Canon Law is a work in progress which follows life and doesn't create it. That is, you don't look for the latest movements of the Spirit in the Canons. The Spirit works in the people primarily, and it is from the people -the Christian faithful and their Pastors- that life is born and later recognized, and rules or canons are created to serve the existing life.

I can tell you for sure that this woman I know was publicly (canonically) consecrated by the bishop around ten years ago and she continues living out her consecration today. Don't take my word about her being "divorced" as her ultimate marriage condition, I never cared to probe the specifics although I have the sense that she had a declaration of nullity of her marriage too. Even though I don't know all the technical details of her case -like for presenting them to a canonist, I assure you I know the person, her ministry, and at least one of her sons, that is, I'm not talking from hearsay but from a real case.

Besides the groups you mention, I know there are also men who don't have a vocation to become hermits seeking some avenue for consecration to a life of celibacy recognized by the Church -different from religious life and the priesthood. One well known case is that of Brother Wayne Teasdale, consecrated as a solitary monk (not a hermit) in the hands of archbishop Francis Cardinal George of Chicago in 2003. Br. Wayne, very well known and respected in the Inter-religious Dialogue atmosphere, died in 2004.

Canon Law, as necessary and important as it is, is not going to open the channel for these vocations unless people who have the call start living it out and becoming significant to the Christian community through their charismatic gift of consecrated celibacy.

Thus, Barb, my question to you -or to any single parent woman with this desire for consecration to celibacy, would be,

How would your life look like if you were allowed to proceed towards public consecration? What would change that would make a different in your life and be clear enough for the Church to be visible? And my suggestion: Go for it! Start living AS IF.

As a diocesan hermit I've experienced that the consecration comes only after there is evidence that the vocation, the life, is lived by the candidate hermit. At least in most cases. There are many more true hermits than those recognized by the Church. And even Canon 603 #1 recognizes the life and the vocation of lay hermits. It was because there were significant numbers of individuals living the solitary vocation that some bishops requested from the Vatican to have the vocation recognized within the umbrella of Consecrated life.

I would really encourage you and others to pursue your felt vocation. In God's time it will be recognized by the Church, like every movement of the Spirit. Don't give up. Pray, discern, look for serious spiritual direction, and network with other like minded -or rather like spirited- women. Follow the lead of the Spirit through prayer and discernment. Live out your baptismal consecration in imitation of Christ Chaste with the fullness that you envision a future charismatic consecration would express in your life

Your question brings to mind this passage of scripture:
Lk 1, 34, "How will this be, since I am a virgin?" Which could be paraphrased into How would this be, since I am not a virgin?
And we know the Angel's response:
vs. 37: Nothing is impossible with God.

Praying for you and for this intention, your sister in Christ,
Orans

The problem, of course, is that if there is no canon to govern the consecration (and no recognized Rite of consecration), the person cannot be canonically consecrated. A public consecration means that one publicly assumes LEGAL rights and obligations which are in fact spelled out in canon law; it does not simply mean the service took place in public. While I know of women whose Bishop's accepted them as "consecrated" (dedicated) widows, and while I hope one day this will truly be a canonical reality which allows initiation into the consecrated state of life, it is not one yet. Canon 605 requires Bishops to be open to new forms of consecrated life but these must be ratified by Rome (the Pope) before becoming canonical. Consecrated widowhood is not, at this point in time, a recognized (canonical) vocation to the consecrated state. That does not diminish the significance of this woman's dedication or ministry, however. It does suggest her Bishop jumped the gun, probably anticipating the presence of this vocation in the Revised Code of Canon Law (1983).