Religious Life

[Sister Marie]

I've never started a new topic about something, haha, but I've read some things - here and other places - recently that I've really been praying about.

It's a really exciting but difficult time in the Church to be discerning a vocation to the religious life. Unless you discern to enter one of the three or four communities that have classes of 10 or 20 postulants each year, you are going to be forced to live with complete uncertainty as to the future of your community and your religious life. I wish God called me to one of them - it would have been much easier for me. The consequences of this uncertainty are totally unpredictable and unknown to anyone but God. The bottom line is the community you enter will change while you are a member - no matter what. You may not be in charge of the decisions that are made and you may have to just do what you are told - even if it is incorrect (obviously you don't obey immoral things but practices that have no moral value are a different story).

I know - I'm trying to get to the point... the point is that the externals that are certainly important are not the heart of what makes a community. To be judged on externals that can/will change and transform with no moral value is an injustice at the least. The importance of a community, at it's heart, is it's charism, apostolate, and spirituality. There is no other community that I have found that has the same charism, spirit, and apostolate as my community does and it is written forever on my heart. So - if their veils are not long enough, habits not penitential enough, prayers not beautiful enough - it is still where I belong. Each community is like a piece of the puzzle of the mystery of Christ and the Church. Each charism and spirituality is essential to understanding the mystery of Christ in the world. So what if a community is not "faithful" right now? How can their gift be preserved if not through new vocations? Does cutting them down help, or, should we be praying that they are able to return to the true spirit of their particular institute so that we can all benefit through their gift? If it is the latter, we must pray and show support. How can we so easily dismiss them? I say this because I do the same thing sometimes. I am not without fault in dismissing people and communities that I don't believe "have it right." The truth is that NO community has it right. It's impossible. Some of our faults are more obvious than others though.

In my own life, there is a community nearby who is very liberal and I really can't stand them most of the time. At the same time, there is a community who wears a full habit who I studied with... not a single sister talked to me the entire time I took a class with them. I heard them talking about my habit and criticizing my community openly. What they didn't know was that it was the best my community was able to afford for the number of sisters we have to clothe. We were living poverty and simplicity. I was uncharitable to the first group of sisters and sisters were uncharitable to me. We forgive and move on.

What I'm trying to say is that we have to be patient and open with ourselves and others - not tolerating things that are wrong, but accepting that we are all sinners. We all miss the mark in one way or another. That is part of the cross of religious life. If you haven't been in religious life, it is easy sometimes to make judgments and be vocal about what is "right" and "wrong." However, all congregations of religious life have the SAME acceptance of their Rules from the Vatican. That means that the community in full habit and monastic schedule and the habitless, independent living community have the same acceptance by the Church. No one has to agree with either of them - but to condemn or judge them puts one persons opinion above the decree of Church. Put yourself in the position of the sisters in those communities who are faithfully trying to save their communities because that spirit and charism is written on their hearts forever as well. What would you do? It isn't as cut and dry as it seems.

It isn't wrong to question practices... It isn't wrong to say, "I wouldn't wear that if you paid me." It is wrong to judge the hearts and beliefs of women who have given up everything to follow Christ by the way their community dresses or prays. I have never been offended by someone saying to me, "Why did your community modify your habit?" Please ask! haha. I have, however, been deeply hurt by hearing, "Oh, they have a modified habit, they aren't real sisters." This is an appeal for charity and for honest discussion. It's great... I'm just trying to introduce another way of looking at religious life and communities that might have more spiritual value.

I hope no one takes this as a singling out - it isn't. I have been thinking like this for years and I've seen things recently that have led me in my personal and online life to feel like I needed to say something. So anyway, I am continually amazed and graced by your reflections on here and your dedication to following Christ. I ask you to pray for my perseverance as I continue to pray for your vocations. God bless!

Sister Marie

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306701252' post='2247469']
I've never started a new topic about something, haha, but I've read some things - here and other places - recently that I've really been praying about.

It's a really exciting but difficult time in the Church to be discerning a vocation to the religious life. Unless you discern to enter one of the three or four communities that have classes of 10 or 20 postulants each year, you are going to be forced to live with complete uncertainty as to the future of your community and your religious life. I wish God called me to one of them - it would have been much easier for me. The consequences of this uncertainty are totally unpredictable and unknown to anyone but God. The bottom line is the community you enter will change while you are a member - no matter what. You may not be in charge of the decisions that are made and you may have to just do what you are told - even if it is incorrect (obviously you don't obey immoral things but practices that have no moral value are a different story).

I know - I'm trying to get to the point... the point is that the externals that are certainly important are not the heart of what makes a community. To be judged on externals that can/will change and transform with no moral value is an injustice at the least. The importance of a community, at it's heart, is it's charism, apostolate, and spirituality. There is no other community that I have found that has the same charism, spirit, and apostolate as my community does and it is written forever on my heart. So - if their veils are not long enough, habits not penitential enough, prayers not beautiful enough - it is still where I belong. Each community is like a piece of the puzzle of the mystery of Christ and the Church. Each charism and spirituality is essential to understanding the mystery of Christ in the world. So what if a community is not "faithful" right now? How can their gift be preserved if not through new vocations? Does cutting them down help, or, should we be praying that they are able to return to the true spirit of their particular institute so that we can all benefit through their gift? If it is the latter, we must pray and show support. How can we so easily dismiss them? I say this because I do the same thing sometimes. I am not without fault in dismissing people and communities that I don't believe "have it right." The truth is that NO community has it right. It's impossible. Some of our faults are more obvious than others though.

In my own life, there is a community nearby who is very liberal and I really can't stand them most of the time. At the same time, there is a community who wears a full habit who I studied with... not a single sister talked to me the entire time I took a class with them. I heard them talking about my habit and criticizing my community openly. What they didn't know was that it was the best my community was able to afford for the number of sisters we have to clothe. We were living poverty and simplicity. I was uncharitable to the first group of sisters and sisters were uncharitable to me. We forgive and move on.

What I'm trying to say is that we have to be patient and open with ourselves and others - not tolerating things that are wrong, but accepting that we are all sinners. We all miss the mark in one way or another. That is part of the cross of religious life. If you haven't been in religious life, it is easy sometimes to make judgments and be vocal about what is "right" and "wrong." However, all congregations of religious life have the SAME acceptance of their Rules from the Vatican. That means that the community in full habit and monastic schedule and the habitless, independent living community have the same acceptance by the Church. No one has to agree with either of them - but to condemn or judge them puts one persons opinion above the decree of Church. Put yourself in the position of the sisters in those communities who are faithfully trying to save their communities because that spirit and charism is written on their hearts forever as well. What would you do? It isn't as cut and dry as it seems.

It isn't wrong to question practices... It isn't wrong to say, "I wouldn't wear that if you paid me." It is wrong to judge the hearts and beliefs of women who have given up everything to follow Christ by the way their community dresses or prays. I have never been offended by someone saying to me, "Why did your community modify your habit?" Please ask! haha. I have, however, been deeply hurt by hearing, "Oh, they have a modified habit, they aren't real sisters." This is an appeal for charity and for honest discussion. It's great... I'm just trying to introduce another way of looking at religious life and communities that might have more spiritual value.

I hope no one takes this as a singling out - it isn't. I have been thinking like this for years and I've seen things recently that have led me in my personal and online life to feel like I needed to say something. So anyway, I am continually amazed and graced by your reflections on here and your dedication to following Christ. I ask you to pray for my perseverance as I continue to pray for your vocations. God bless!

Sister Marie
[/quote]

Thank you for posting this, Sr. Marie! It is not the externals that matter, but the internal life dedicated to Christ.

Merci, merci, merci.

Dieu vous benisse!

[abrideofChrist]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306701252' post='2247469']
I've never started a new topic about something, haha, but I've read some things - here and other places - recently that I've really been praying about.

It's a really exciting but difficult time in the Church to be discerning a vocation to the religious life. Unless you discern to enter one of the three or four communities that have classes of 10 or 20 postulants each year, you are going to be forced to live with complete uncertainty as to the future of your community and your religious life. I wish God called me to one of them - it would have been much easier for me. The consequences of this uncertainty are totally unpredictable and unknown to anyone but God. The bottom line is the community you enter will change while you are a member - no matter what. You may not be in charge of the decisions that are made and you may have to just do what you are told - even if it is incorrect (obviously you don't obey immoral things but practices that have no moral value are a different story).

I know - I'm trying to get to the point... the point is that the externals that are certainly important are not the heart of what makes a community. To be judged on externals that can/will change and transform with no moral value is an injustice at the least. The importance of a community, at it's heart, is it's charism, apostolate, and spirituality. There is no other community that I have found that has the same charism, spirit, and apostolate as my community does and it is written forever on my heart. So - if their veils are not long enough, habits not penitential enough, prayers not beautiful enough - it is still where I belong. Each community is like a piece of the puzzle of the mystery of Christ and the Church. Each charism and spirituality is essential to understanding the mystery of Christ in the world. So what if a community is not "faithful" right now? How can their gift be preserved if not through new vocations? Does cutting them down help, or, should we be praying that they are able to return to the true spirit of their particular institute so that we can all benefit through their gift? If it is the latter, we must pray and show support. How can we so easily dismiss them? I say this because I do the same thing sometimes. I am not without fault in dismissing people and communities that I don't believe "have it right." The truth is that NO community has it right. It's impossible. Some of our faults are more obvious than others though.

In my own life, there is a community nearby who is very liberal and I really can't stand them most of the time. At the same time, there is a community who wears a full habit who I studied with... not a single sister talked to me the entire time I took a class with them. I heard them talking about my habit and criticizing my community openly. What they didn't know was that it was the best my community was able to afford for the number of sisters we have to clothe. We were living poverty and simplicity. I was uncharitable to the first group of sisters and sisters were uncharitable to me. We forgive and move on.

What I'm trying to say is that we have to be patient and open with ourselves and others - not tolerating things that are wrong, but accepting that we are all sinners. We all miss the mark in one way or another. That is part of the cross of religious life. If you haven't been in religious life, it is easy sometimes to make judgments and be vocal about what is "right" and "wrong." However, all congregations of religious life have the SAME acceptance of their Rules from the Vatican. That means that the community in full habit and monastic schedule and the habitless, independent living community have the same acceptance by the Church. No one has to agree with either of them - but to condemn or judge them puts one persons opinion above the decree of Church. Put yourself in the position of the sisters in those communities who are faithfully trying to save their communities because that spirit and charism is written on their hearts forever as well. What would you do? It isn't as cut and dry as it seems.

It isn't wrong to question practices... It isn't wrong to say, "I wouldn't wear that if you paid me." It is wrong to judge the hearts and beliefs of women who have given up everything to follow Christ by the way their community dresses or prays. I have never been offended by someone saying to me, "Why did your community modify your habit?" Please ask! haha. I have, however, been deeply hurt by hearing, "Oh, they have a modified habit, they aren't real sisters." This is an appeal for charity and for honest discussion. It's great... I'm just trying to introduce another way of looking at religious life and communities that might have more spiritual value.

I hope no one takes this as a singling out - it isn't. I have been thinking like this for years and I've seen things recently that have led me in my personal and online life to feel like I needed to say something. So anyway, I am continually amazed and graced by your reflections on here and your dedication to following Christ. I ask you to pray for my perseverance as I continue to pray for your vocations. God bless!

Sister Marie
[/quote]

Amen, Sister! It's amazing how judgmental both religious and laity can be when looking at certain externals (even if they are approved and permitted by Rome). I have talked to religious who have anguished about whether to return to the habit as a whole community and decided that it helps weed out discerners who can't look beyond the clothes and who refuse to really have a hard look about what the true essence of religious life is (not necessarily modeled by those famous communities that have large classes of postulants every year). I have talked to religious in habit who have anguished about the abuses they suffer in their community (like being treated as disposable commodities with their retreats being interrupted by being on call because their livelihood depends on caring/teaching or whatever apostolate and they don't have enough warm bodies for a balanced lifestyle or others who sew till the wee hours of the morning because they don't havesufficient income.... ) Oh yes. I forgot that one community of male habited religious who are growing very fast and they basically are Feeneyites. Basically, one has to know where one truly fits with the abuses and all.

[faithcecelia]

When I began my discernment first time round I was very torn between 2 communities - Quidenham Carmel where I eventually entered, and the Community of Our Lady of Walsingham, who were the first community I visited. At the time, COLW were brand new - the 2 founding sisters were novices and the had one postulant. I loved them immediately and spent quite a lot of time visiting them for weekends, going on pilgrimages with them, etc etc. It was on their advice that I chose Quidenham as the Carmel I would visit, and Arundel as the Poor Clares. Very quickly, I realised that I was called to enclosure, but I still had to give an awful lot od discernment to be sure that I truely was answering a call to Carmel and that it wasnt just fear of entering a brand new, energetic and attractive new community (they have AMAZING denim habits with hooded scapulars rather than a veil! )

With hindsight now, I can see that at Q there was some negative talk about some of the other communities, especially those that sisters had transferred from following tough starts, mainly communities who had been slower making changed after V2 than Q had been. One UK Carmel are part-time habit wearers and have ensuite cells, this caused some, erm, 'talk' about whether they were really living poverty or not and were they ignoring tradition too much. I have spent some time learning about thios community while I am out, and while I don't feel called there at all, can see their point that the ensuite cells help them embrace solitude more fully - they have no reason to see each other at all between the last Office at night and Lauds the next morning.

I feel very strongly now that its about finding where is right for me, not for which is trendy, not for putting another community down or questioning their decisions. We all have slightly different beliefs and opinions on things, we need to know what God is calling us to, it is not our business or problem where He calls someone else.


When I was 14, and studying to become a full adult member of my former denomination, I was taught something that I continue to use through my life - somethjing that actually eventually led me to leave that denomination and vecome Catholic. It was: [i]You need to learn what the church teaches, then decide what parts you believe, what parts you can accept, and what parts you have doubt about. You then need to decide whether you can live with those doubts.[/i] I think this works for religious life too.

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1306703650' post='2247496']
When I was 14, and studying to become a full adult member of my former denomination, I was taught something that I continue to use through my life - somethjing that actually eventually led me to leave that denomination and vecome Catholic. It was: [i]You need to learn what the church teaches, then decide what parts you believe, what parts you can accept, and what parts you have doubt about. You then need to decide whether you can live with those doubts.[/i] I think this works for religious life too.
[/quote]

I love that! No matter what community anyone here enters - they will have doubts and disagreements about things - geez... I could write a list right now of things I disagree with but I accept them because my heart has been made for the spirit and charism of this community. I know also that my disagreement, my point of view is part of the community because my person is part of as well. The spirit, charism, and apostolate far outweigh any practical things that annoy, sadden, bother, or grate upon me. There is definitely a decision that must be made - not once, but everytime in obedience you are asked to do something against your natural inclination. It definitely is that decision that brings one to holiness in community life and in ones vocation. Thanks for sharing!

[Santa Cruz]

Sister Marie,

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Personally, I am friends with Religious who wear no habit at all, who wear a modified habit and who wear a traditional habit. But, as someone who has discerned a call to Religious life, it is important to me that the Community I enter wears a habit. Why is that? Well, for one, the habit is a clear symbol to myself and to others that I am a Bride of Christ. Also, I am influenced by what I am personally wearing and I do believe that what I wear has an effect on others. I do find that external matters have an effect on my interior.

It is also important to me that the Community I enter is faithful to the Magisterium on all matters. I do not agree with picking and choosing what one likes or does not like as this will inhibit the action of the Holy Spirit and can cause great damage. If there is something that one disagrees with, then it should be brought to one's Confessor with the intent of one's own conversion. I entirely disagree with voicing one's 'issues' with the Magisterium. Yes, we are all human and we all fall short, so no one will live out the perfect life but I do believe that one should try and not accept mediocrity as the end result.

I am so glad you mentioned that a Communities charism is more important than their prayer life! Please could you explain a bit more on this? Why not prayer or both? In my discernment, I came across Communities that said the charism is the most important and others that said the prayer life is the most important.
I am not at all qualified to answer that question until I celebrate my golden Jubilee God willing. One Community told me the charism will never change, but prayer life changes. Another Community told me that the prayer life will never change but the way the life is lived out will change. I reflected back upon my own life, to see what has been consistent throughout for me personally. It is my prayer life. So, in my discernment, I have paid particular attention to prayer within the Community and how the time of prayer 'sits' with me and my relationship with God. Surely, I also paid attention to the charism and what lie within my own heart, also looking at my own person.

One Sister whom I have tremendous respect for is Sister Barbara Long OP. What I see in Sister Barbara is a woman who is prayerful, obedient, humble and who serves the marginalized, the poor and outcast. She is strong but never rude. She does not gossip, she does not complain, she is obedient, she is honest and very hardworking in serving the Church. To me, that is a Sister. As a side note, Sister Barbara does not wear a habit and she lives individually.

Sister Marie, I would love to hear why your Community modified the habit? I appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for taking the time to share with us and thank you for your perseverance.

Edited May 29, 2011 by Santa Cruz

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

[quote name='abrideofChrist' timestamp='1306702605' post='2247491']
Amen, Sister! It's amazing how judgmental both religious and laity can be when looking at certain externals (even if they are approved and permitted by Rome). I have talked to religious who have anguished about whether to return to the habit as a whole community and decided that it helps weed out discerners who can't look beyond the clothes and who refuse to really have a hard look about what the true essence of religious life is (not necessarily modeled by those famous communities that have large classes of postulants every year). I have talked to religious in habit who have anguished about the abuses they suffer in their community (like being treated as disposable commodities with their retreats being interrupted by being on call because their livelihood depends on caring/teaching or whatever apostolate and they don't have enough warm bodies for a balanced lifestyle or others who sew till the wee hours of the morning because they don't havesufficient income.... ) Oh yes. I forgot that one community of male habited religious who are growing very fast and they basically are Feeneyites. Basically, one has to know where one truly fits with the abuses and all.
[/quote]

Hi! I don't want to change the topic subject but I thought I would share some information you might not know. I don't know what congregation of men you are speaking about but perhaps you don't know that the "Feenyites" have full approval by their bishop and are a Society of Apostolic Life? They were "regularized" under the tenure of a certain C. Ratzinger when he was the head of the CDF! The male Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary are not growing much at all, though. God bless you!

[Santa Cruz]

[quote name='Sr. Mary Catharine' timestamp='1306709028' post='2247523']
Hi! I don't want to change the topic subject but I thought I would share some information you might not know. I don't know what congregation of men you are speaking about but perhaps you don't know that the "Feenyites" have full approval by their bishop and are a Society of Apostolic Life? They were "regularized" under the tenure of a certain C. Ratzinger when he was the head of the CDF! The male Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary are not growing much at all, though. God bless you!
[/quote]

Please, can you inform me, what is a "Feenyite"? Thank you!

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='Santa Cruz' timestamp='1306708612' post='2247520']
Sister Marie,

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Personally, I am friends with Religious who wear no habit at all, who wear a modified habit and who wear a traditional habit. But, as someone who has discerned a call to Religious life, it is important to me that the Community I enter wears a habit. Why is that? Well, for one, the habit is a clear symbol to myself and to others that I am a Bride of Christ. Also, I am influenced by what I am personally wearing and I do believe that what I wear has an effect on others. I do find that external matters have an effect on my interior.

It is also important to me that the Community I enter is faithful to the Magisterium on all matters. I do not agree with picking and choosing what one likes or does not like as this will inhibit the action of the Holy Spirit and can cause great damage. If there is something that one disagrees with, then it should be brought to one's Confessor with the intent of one's own conversion. I entirely disagree with voicing one's 'issues' with the Magisterium. Yes, we are all human and we all fall short, so no one will live out the perfect life but I do believe that one should try and not accept mediocrity as the end result.

I am so glad you mentioned that a Communities charism is more important than their prayer life! In my discernment, I came across Communities that said the charism is the most important and others that said the prayer life is the most important.
I am not at all qualified to answer that question until I celebrate my golden Jubilee God willing. One Community told me the charism will never change, but prayer life changes. Another Community told me that the prayer life will never change but the way the life is lived out will change. I reflected back upon my own life, to see what has been consistent throughout for me personally. It is my prayer life. So, in my discernment, I have paid particular attention to prayer within the Community and how the time of prayer 'sits' with me and my relationship with God.

One Sister whom I have tremendous respect for is Sister Barbara Long OP. What I see in Sister Barbara is a woman who is prayerful, obedient, humble and who serves the marginalized, the poor and outcast. She is strong but never rude. She does not gossip, she does not complain, she is obedient, she is honest and very hardworking in serving the Church. To me, that is a Sister. As a side note, Sister Barbara does not wear a habit and she lives individually.

Sister Marie, I would love to hear why your Community modified the habit? I appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for taking the time to share with us and thank you for your perseverance.
[/quote]

Dear Santa Cruz,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I agree there is right and wrong but there is also a temptation to put right and wrong on one's own opinions and that is where things get a little sticky. My community wears a habit. It is in our rule. The style of our habit is described in our Rule which has been approved by the Church. Is it the most beautiful habit I have ever seen? On one hand, no. On the other hand, it is my habit so it is the most beautiful to me. Either way, it is a "correct" habit - the Church has said so! The other thing I would bring up is the spirit behind the externals. I live with a sister who is very traditional but is completely uncharitable to everyone around her - actually she is downright mean. I live with another sister who is totally untraditional but is kind, patient, and full of love for her sisters and God's people. So... looks can be deceiving! The heart is important too!

You are absolutely right that externals do matter! I have heard many people who feel like it is only the "full habit" and nothing less. However, it was the Church who asked religious to update their habits. It is unbelievable sometimes when I hear people get down on the modified habit nuns when the Church was the one who asked us to modify in the Decree on the Renewal of Religious Life. They called us to adopt a habit that was "poor, simple, and becoming." I wouldn't, but I could, make the case that those who wear the traditional habit are the disobedient ones - because they did not update as the Church asked us to. Obviously, I do not feel that way! I feel that each congregation is called to what they are called to and that the full habit is beautiful and has its place as does the modified habit. I only say this as a way to contextualize this conversation on habits. Again - I do not feel that way!

Thank you for so graciously asking why my community modified our habit! We are apostolic sisters who serve God's people in education. As you can imagine, most Catholic schools do not have air conditioning. This is not the main reason, however, as temperatures hit the 90's in Philadelphia this week, I can't help but think of that first! haha. I don't know how our sisters used to wear surge during the summer with all the starch while still teaching children. Education is a full-time ministry and the full habit was not practical. There were sisters with open sores on their foreheads from the bonnet, passing out from the heat, getting infections from the thick stockings worn 12 hours a day. After the habit was modified it became very difficult to procure the habits. My community is quite large and there is no practical way for any sister(s) to be in charge of making habits. We ordered habits from a place that closed two years ago and now we are stuck trying to find somewhere to make our habits. Everytime we find a place - they go out of business after the first set of habits come out! We all look different but it isn't on purpose - it is because of poverty and simplicity. We still wear blue but the fabric and style are different due to the availability of the habits. However, what is still the same is that we all say the same prayers as we dress in the morning, we all wear a garment blessed by a priest, and we all wear the same crucifix and ring indicating our consecration to Christ and the Church. The inside of our ring reads, "Ego te Sponsabo" - "to you I am espoused." When a sister dies, after her viewing, her ring and crucifix are taken off and put away for the use of a future sister. It is a custom that is very meaningful to me as I know that I am wearing the ring and crucifix of a sister who built the community I now inherit. Our habit is poor - it does not cost a great deal and is easy to keep up. It is simple - one or two pieces - that do not require starching, dry cleaning, or any other special treatment. And it is becoming - we look like women religious - a modest and attractive (in a nunly way) habit that shows our consecration but allows us to do our work. It is a practical habit and it allows me to do the work of my institute while still witnessing to religious life in a radical way.

Hopefully, a few inches of material does not negate my entire vocation. However, I must say, I have felt that way after reading some comments here and elsewhere. Anyway, thank you for replying and asking! I hope some of this makes sense. God bless you!

[TeresaBenedicta]

Thank you for this, my dear Sister. Much of what you said has been on my heart and mind lately.

It's very easy for us who are on "the outside" of religious life (even if discerning!) to focus on the ideal. Ask any discerner and I'm sure they'll agree that there is no "perfect" community... yet when looking or discussing, the focus is on the 'ideal'. The ideal habit, the ideal prayer life, the ideal 'name what you will', etc. I know that I'm especially guilty of doing this sort of thing, no matter what the subject is... what can I say, it's the philosophy major in me! But when the ideal is not connected to reality and returned to reality... There can be a lot judgmental statements and conclusions made.

Reality is that, as we mention time in and time out, there is no 'perfect' community- in regards to externals... and internals. And the imperfections? Those are most of what is going to perfect us... not the 'perfect' aspects. The imperfect is used by God to perfect us. It is learning how to accept these imperfections and allow them to purify us... that's the difficult part!

Of course, I'm not advocating complacency or relativism! Just to recognize that God [i]does[/i] use the weak (and imperfect) to make the strong. And that we need to be careful when discussing the ideal that we don't forget that truth.

[Yaatee]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306710247' post='2247530']
Dear Santa Cruz,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I agree there is right and wrong but there is also a temptation to put right and wrong on one's own opinions and that is where things get a little sticky. My community wears a habit. It is in our rule. The style of our habit is described in our Rule which has been approved by the Church. Is it the most beautiful habit I have ever seen? On one hand, no. On the other hand, it is my habit so it is the most beautiful to me. Either way, it is a "correct" habit - the Church has said so! The other thing I would bring up is the spirit behind the externals. I live with a sister who is very traditional but is completely uncharitable to everyone around her - actually she is downright mean. I live with another sister who is totally untraditional but is kind, patient, and full of love for her sisters and God's people. So... looks can be deceiving! The heart is important too!

You are absolutely right that externals do matter! I have heard many people who feel like it is only the "full habit" and nothing less. However, it was the Church who asked religious to update their habits. It is unbelievable sometimes when I hear people get down on the modified habit nuns when the Church was the one who asked us to modify in the Decree on the Renewal of Religious Life. They called us to adopt a habit that was "poor, simple, and becoming." I wouldn't, but I could, make the case that those who wear the traditional habit are the disobedient ones - because they did not update as the Church asked us to. Obviously, I do not feel that way! I feel that each congregation is called to what they are called to and that the full habit is beautiful and has its place as does the modified habit. I only say this as a way to contextualize this conversation on habits. Again - I do not feel that way!

Thank you for so graciously asking why my community modified our habit! We are apostolic sisters who serve God's people in education. As you can imagine, most Catholic schools do not have air conditioning. This is not the main reason, however, as temperatures hit the 90's in Philadelphia this week, I can't help but think of that first! haha. I don't know how our sisters used to wear surge during the summer with all the starch while still teaching children. Education is a full-time ministry and the full habit was not practical. There were sisters with open sores on their foreheads from the bonnet, passing out from the heat, getting infections from the thick stockings worn 12 hours a day. After the habit was modified it became very difficult to procure the habits. My community is quite large and there is no practical way for any sister(s) to be in charge of making habits. We ordered habits from a place that closed two years ago and now we are stuck trying to find somewhere to make our habits. Everytime we find a place - they go out of business after the first set of habits come out! We all look different but it isn't on purpose - it is because of poverty and simplicity. We still wear blue but the fabric and style are different due to the availability of the habits. However, what is still the same is that we all say the same prayers as we dress in the morning, we all wear a garment blessed by a priest, and we all wear the same crucifix and ring indicating our consecration to Christ and the Church. The inside of our ring reads, "Ego te Sponsabo" - "to you I am espoused." When a sister dies, after her viewing, her ring and crucifix are taken off and put away for the use of a future sister. It is a custom that is very meaningful to me as I know that I am wearing the ring and crucifix of a sister who built the community I now inherit. Our habit is poor - it does not cost a great deal and is easy to keep up. It is simple - one or two pieces - that do not require starching, dry cleaning, or any other special treatment. And it is becoming - we look like women religious - a modest and attractive (in a nunly way) habit that shows our consecration but allows us to do our work. It is a practical habit and it allows me to do the work of my institute while still witnessing to religious life in a radical way.

Hopefully, a few inches of material does not negate my entire vocation. However, I must say, I have felt that way after reading some comments here and elsewhere. Anyway, thank you for replying and asking! I hope some of this makes sense. God bless you!
[/quote]

Sister,

I am blown away by your charitable responses.

I think that your community's attitudes towards the habit are very reasonable and in accord with church teaching.

I think that the giving up and 'recycling' of the crucifix and rule are the epitome of the expression of poverty.

Only one comment: your uncharitable 'room'-mate must be very trying. It is possible that she is depressed, suffering from other mental illness, or, if older, showing early signs of dementia. .

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306701252' post='2247469']
I've never started a new topic about something, haha, but I've read some things - here and other places - recently that I've really been praying about.

It's a really exciting but difficult time in the Church to be discerning a vocation to the religious life. Unless you discern to enter one of the three or four communities that have classes of 10 or 20 postulants each year, you are going to be forced to live with complete uncertainty as to the future of your community and your religious life. I wish God called me to one of them - it would have been much easier for me. The consequences of this uncertainty are totally unpredictable and unknown to anyone but God. The bottom line is the community you enter will change while you are a member - no matter what. You may not be in charge of the decisions that are made and you may have to just do what you are told - even if it is incorrect (obviously you don't obey immoral things but practices that have no moral value are a different story).

I know - I'm trying to get to the point... the point is that the externals that are certainly important are not the heart of what makes a community. To be judged on externals that can/will change and transform with no moral value is an injustice at the least. The importance of a community, at it's heart, is it's charism, apostolate, and spirituality. There is no other community that I have found that has the same charism, spirit, and apostolate as my community does and it is written forever on my heart. So - if their veils are not long enough, habits not penitential enough, prayers not beautiful enough - it is still where I belong. Each community is like a piece of the puzzle of the mystery of Christ and the Church. Each charism and spirituality is essential to understanding the mystery of Christ in the world. So what if a community is not "faithful" right now? How can their gift be preserved if not through new vocations? Does cutting them down help, or, should we be praying that they are able to return to the true spirit of their particular institute so that we can all benefit through their gift? If it is the latter, we must pray and show support. How can we so easily dismiss them? I say this because I do the same thing sometimes. I am not without fault in dismissing people and communities that I don't believe "have it right." The truth is that NO community has it right. It's impossible. Some of our faults are more obvious than others though.

In my own life, there is a community nearby who is very liberal and I really can't stand them most of the time. At the same time, there is a community who wears a full habit who I studied with... not a single sister talked to me the entire time I took a class with them. I heard them talking about my habit and criticizing my community openly. What they didn't know was that it was the best my community was able to afford for the number of sisters we have to clothe. We were living poverty and simplicity. I was uncharitable to the first group of sisters and sisters were uncharitable to me. We forgive and move on.

What I'm trying to say is that we have to be patient and open with ourselves and others - not tolerating things that are wrong, but accepting that we are all sinners. We all miss the mark in one way or another. That is part of the cross of religious life. If you haven't been in religious life, it is easy sometimes to make judgments and be vocal about what is "right" and "wrong." However, all congregations of religious life have the SAME acceptance of their Rules from the Vatican. That means that the community in full habit and monastic schedule and the habitless, independent living community have the same acceptance by the Church. No one has to agree with either of them - but to condemn or judge them puts one persons opinion above the decree of Church. Put yourself in the position of the sisters in those communities who are faithfully trying to save their communities because that spirit and charism is written on their hearts forever as well. What would you do? It isn't as cut and dry as it seems.

It isn't wrong to question practices... It isn't wrong to say, "I wouldn't wear that if you paid me." It is wrong to judge the hearts and beliefs of women who have given up everything to follow Christ by the way their community dresses or prays. I have never been offended by someone saying to me, "Why did your community modify your habit?" Please ask! haha. I have, however, been deeply hurt by hearing, "Oh, they have a modified habit, they aren't real sisters." This is an appeal for charity and for honest discussion. It's great... I'm just trying to introduce another way of looking at religious life and communities that might have more spiritual value.

I hope no one takes this as a singling out - it isn't. I have been thinking like this for years and I've seen things recently that have led me in my personal and online life to feel like I needed to say something. So anyway, I am continually amazed and graced by your reflections on here and your dedication to following Christ. I ask you to pray for my perseverance as I continue to pray for your vocations. God bless!

Sister Marie
[/quote]

Thank you very much, Sr. Marie, for this beautiful insight. It is so easy to forget that each and every community has different expressions of the same goal--to belong totally to Christ and live for Him alone. I have come to the conclusion that it is not what the Sister wears that makes a Sister, but what is in her heart that makes her truly orthodox in the Church. I was not always this way, though. I used to think that only habited Sisters were real religious--a real flawed way of thinking--but my mind was changed when I met a very beautiful and kind non-habited Sister who came to our diocese to give a retreat. She was glowing because she was imbued with the Holy Spirit and you could see that in everything she did. She had a huge smile on her face and appeared truly happy--this was a real bride of Christ!

I pray that none of my responses on this forum or elsewhere were uncharitable. I guess I'm sort of a "doubting Thomas" when it comes to these things as I had to see it for myself to know that the habit doesn't make the Sister. Everyone kept telling me this, but I didn't want to hear it. I can remember a thread I made under a very old, retired screen name that was about non-habited Sisters and the lack of charity they showed to those who wore the habit. I think it is a two way street. If habited Sisters don't have respect for their non-habited counterparts, it reflects poorly on them, and vice versa. We must all remember that we are daughters (and sons, if men are reading this) of God and must be charitable and loving towards our brothers and sisters. Christ does not care about what we are wearing as long as we keep His commandments and love God with all our minds and hearts--today's Gospel actually!

I hope that if I do become a Sister (God-willing), I will continue to look beyond the dress. I do feel, though, that God is calling me to a habited community, but I do not have disrespect for those who are called to walk with Christ without one. To each his/her own.

Again, thank you, dear Sister, for your message. It is very powerful, moving, and thought-provoking. May God bless you always.

[Lisa]

Thank you Sister! You definitely gave us all things to think about as we discern. I am currently discerning a community with a full-habit, but have also looked at some dear sisters in Northern Indiana: the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration. Before discerning, they were the only sisters I had ever seen, so I never associated the modified habit with being less faithful to the church. Especially for some of their nursing habits, those few inches off mean they can serve God's people better! So thank you very much for reminding us that "the habit does not make the nun!" Your description of why your community modified the habit was inspiring.

May we all see beyond the externals and look only at the heart of the community and God's call for each one of us.

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='Yaatee' timestamp='1306712190' post='2247539']
Sister,

I am blown away by your charitable responses.

I think that your community's attitudes towards the habit are very reasonable and in accord with church teaching.

I think that the giving up and 'recycling' of the crucifix and rule are the epitome of the expression of poverty.

Only one comment: your uncharitable 'room'-mate must be very trying. It is possible that she is depressed, suffering from other mental illness, or, if older, showing early signs of dementia. .
[/quote]


She is trying but of course, she does more for my vocation and religious resolve than the most charitable sister with whom I live... the challenge is one to call me to virtue... but it is also a lesson of the difference in appearance and heart. Jesus had to do this all the time with the Pharisees who cleaned the outside of their cups but left the inside full of filth - metaphorically obviously. I pray for her and love her, but, yes, she is trying. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/amen.gif[/img]

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1306714745' post='2247553']
Thank you Sister! You definitely gave us all things to think about as we discern. I am currently discerning a community with a full-habit, but have also looked at some dear sisters in Northern Indiana: the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration. Before discerning, they were the only sisters I had ever seen, so I never associated the modified habit with being less faithful to the church. Especially for some of their nursing habits, those few inches off mean they can serve God's people better! So thank you very much for reminding us that "the habit does not make the nun!" Your description of why your community modified the habit was inspiring.

May we all see beyond the externals and look only at the heart of the community and God's call for each one of us.

[/quote]

Yes, a few inches and layers do make a difference sometimes! This week I was exhausted in a hot classroom with all those teenagers - ugh, gross[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blink.gif[/img]. I could have gone to sleep right when I arrived home after dismissal each night because the heat took so much out of me. I can't even imagine what it would be like with even more clothes on than I already wear. Back in the day - teachers taught from their desk and students did seat work and workbooks/sheets. Now teachers have to "edu-tain (education + entertainment)" which means not a moment all day off your feet or without a million kids all over you. It takes a lot of energy in school but then after you have prayers, dinner, charges, and recreation - plus more schoolwork. It is a very active life that calls for a lot of energy.

I wanted to say, before I entered the convent, I took care of our sisters in our convent/nursing home for them as a nurse's aide. When I was a novice I continued that service and I was forever (gasp) hiking up my habit to make room for my knees to bend to lift without breaking my back, haha... or my habit. One time a dear sister who was suffering greatly grabbed my collar so tightly I couldn't get out from her grip. We tried with no avail to get her hand out of my collar but the collar was too tight to peel her hand away. The woman working with me had to unzip my habit to get Sister's hand out of my habit! It was hilarious. Not everything can be perfect! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img]