Finding It Hard

[faithcecelia]

Well I have now spoken to my old prioress, I needed to find out if I could what had changed in a fortnight to result in such different references. She assures me (and I trust her as she is the most wonderful of people) that she actually sent almost word for word the same to Wolverhampton as she did Kirk Edge! Okay, so this means my confidence was breeched twice, but it also highlights to me that interpretation means as much as what is said in the first place!

My issue now is, given that they have taken the reference as bad at Wolverhampton, is it really worth visiting? Im really not sure at the moment. I am tempted to send another message to the prioress there asking if she considers the reference to be prohibitive of any chance of me entering, bit dont want to come across as defensive if she is being open minded. Whilst I know too well that not every visit will result in a positive response (by either them or me) but with my time and budget as tight as they are I am wary of spending out if its futile.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1306354631' post='2245910']
Well I have now spoken to my old prioress, I needed to find out if I could what had changed in a fortnight to result in such different references. She assures me (and I trust her as she is the most wonderful of people) that she actually sent almost word for word the same to Wolverhampton as she did Kirk Edge! Okay, so this means my confidence was breeched twice, but it also highlights to me that interpretation means as much as what is said in the first place!

My issue now is, given that they have taken the reference as bad at Wolverhampton, is it really worth visiting? Im really not sure at the moment. I am tempted to send another message to the prioress there asking if she considers the reference to be prohibitive of any chance of me entering, bit dont want to come across as defensive if she is being open minded. Whilst I know too well that not every visit will result in a positive response (by either them or me) but with my time and budget as tight as they are I am wary of spending out if its futile.
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Well, that's very strange, indeed. If they are reading a supposedly positive review as negative, then there could be some friction there already. It's hard to say whether you should visit or not. If you already have the travel arrangements and everything, I would say go, but if not, then maybe you should pray about it a while. It could be God's way of telling you that you are not called there.

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1306356185' post='2245927']
Well, that's very strange, indeed. If they are reading a supposedly positive review as negative, then there could be some friction there already. It's hard to say whether you should visit or not. If you already have the travel arrangements and everything, I would say go, but if not, then maybe you should pray about it a while. It could be God's way of telling you that you are not called there.
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From what I have been told today, it was a balanced reference - the basic facts of what happened while I was at Q that led to me being sent away and what has happened since, together with extremely positive views of me as a person and my vocation, but also her belief that the sisters there are sceptical about me being ready to return. KE seem to have focused on the good bits and Wv on the bad - almost like the glass half empty or half full in a way I suppose?

I may wait another 24hrs or so and if I have heard nothing more I may ask if they have already decided they don't want me (but not so bluntly of course!!).

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1306354631' post='2245910']
Well I have now spoken to my old prioress, I needed to find out if I could what had changed in a fortnight to result in such different references. She assures me (and I trust her as she is the most wonderful of people) that she actually sent almost word for word the same to Wolverhampton as she did Kirk Edge! Okay, so this means my confidence was breeched twice, but it also highlights to me that interpretation means as much as what is said in the first place!

My issue now is, given that they have taken the reference as bad at Wolverhampton, is it really worth visiting? Im really not sure at the moment. I am tempted to send another message to the prioress there asking if she considers the reference to be prohibitive of any chance of me entering, bit dont want to come across as defensive if she is being open minded. Whilst I know too well that not every visit will result in a positive response (by either them or me) but with my time and budget as tight as they are I am wary of spending out if its futile.
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faith - I think you are amazing. You had the courage to phone your old Prioress and ask about the reference, and although I recommended doing this, I am the last person in the world who would have the courage to do so, especially since I hate communicating by phone! I would much rather write than use the phone. But the phone is a much better way to get to the bottom of something because it is interactive and there is a chance to ask questions and tell from tone of voice what the other person means. So, first congratulations on that phone call!

But because you are so brave - I would suggest that you not write to WV but phone Mother. She is a very wonderful and understanding woman - she was my Novice Mistress and then became Prioress. She has a very kind nature and wouldn't like you to be hurting. May I suggest that you phone her and say that you spoke to your old Prioress and now you don't understand why she thinks the reference is negative... and tell her that you are still interested in WV but don't know if you should spend the money and the time if she has already made a decision about you. I think that you might be able to sort a few things out now that you now what was in the reference. At least that way you will get it all out in the open and be in a better position to know if a trip there is worth it. She is a very fair woman. And I say that even though she didn't want to accept me back into WV - I trust her judgment and if she (and the community) made that decision, that I know it was out of love and concern for me as well as for the good of the community. It wasn't easy for me to be told 'no' but I have no doubt that there wasn't any malice in that decision at all! Be brave again!

Well done, faith

[faithcecelia]

Well after some brief further correspondance, I am still going to go to Wolverhampton this weekend. I am nervous, I think mainly because I am afraid I may love it there and then be rejected, but to me thats not good enough reason to not go. If I go and it doesn't work out I have lost a weekend and £50 in travel; if I don't go I could potentially miss the chance to live my vocation.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1306413947' post='2246172']
Well after some brief further correspondance, I am still going to go to Wolverhampton this weekend. I am nervous, I think mainly because I am afraid I may love it there and then be rejected, but to me thats not good enough reason to not go. If I go and it doesn't work out I have lost a weekend and £50 in travel; if I don't go I could potentially miss the chance to live my vocation.
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Well, good for you! "The coward dies a thousand deaths; the brave [wo]man dies but once."

The way I look at it, if you don't go, you definitely won't have a chance - but this way - well, it's fifty-fifty - right?

Give my love to all at WV. I am keeping you in my prayers.