Please Help

[Shana]

Dear Phatmassers,

I need some input. I was browsing the internet looking up something innocent (related to clothing) and trying to gain practical knowledge about it so I was reading forums and stuff. (The following is going to be intentionally vague b/c I don't want to lay it out in detail and possibly lead anyone else into sin). I came across a comment on what seemed to me to be an otherwise wholesome forum where someone posted something about what she wore this one time and how it made her feel naughty--this comment was I would say inappropriate or at least would indicate that this lady is sort of strange but not so much the one I'm worried about but rather a commenter that responded to her comment. Basically he got into talking about a sexual experience between him and his girlfriend. It was pretty explicit but I feel that by the time I had a clearer sense that I really should not be reading this I was already hooked and felt compelled to finish the paragraph even though at one point I conciously thought that I should probably stop as this could be seriously bad. I feel horrible because I'm worried that I committed a mortal sin. For a bit of context-- lately, since I've begun discerning the vocation of consecrated virginity more seriously, I've been on the scrupulous side when it comes to possible impure thoughts. I just am trying to figure out if I should receive communion this week as I go to daily Mass. I could drive myself crazy trying to figure out what "deliberate consent" and "adequate knowledge" mean and assessing if whether what I did met the criterion for being a mortal sin. On the one hand I don't want to go without communion if my sin was just venial because I feel I really need Jesus in the Eucharist to survive. On the other hand I don't want to profane the body and blood of the Lord if I did commit a mortal sin.

Prompt replies would be much appreciated!

Edited August 17, 2011 by Lil Red

[CatherineM]

Calm down. I worked at a movie theater when I was 14 years old, and had to walk the aisles making sure no one was smoking or whatever. We were playing Cinderella in a back theater. It wasn't the Disney version, but I didn't know that until I'd seen more that I should have. It is next to impossible to completely shield yourself from everything in life unless you become a hermit in a cave.

The most important thing is to not dwell on it, if you think about it again by accident, get it out of your head as quickly as possible, and do not act upon any thoughts you may have about it. In my former profession I had to hear people tell me all sorts of gruesome to lascivious things. I saw crime photos that even Penthouse wouldn't publish. Doctors, Lawyers, therapists, cops, they all have to deal with the worst things that humans can do to each other, or with each other. It's not a mortal sin to be exposed to something, but it can become a sin to dwell on it or to actively seek it out.

[cappie]

When you commit a serious sin, you always know it, there is no room for doubt. That is because[b] mortal sin requires full consent of the will and knowledge that the action is sinful[/b]. If you wonder if something is serious before you do it, then don’t do it until you find out. [b]If you wonder if something is a serious sin after you do it, the answer will be, “No, it is not.”[/b]