Getting To Mass

[Debra Little]

This is very hard for me to write and there may be some here who judge me on this but oh well, I write it anyway.

For me, getting to Mass the last 5 weeks has been impossible. With the couple people I can rely on for rides
things keep getting mixed up. One keeps forgetting (take into account she is elderly), or she says she's not
going and to ask the other woman So I do that but then something comes up with her family and she needs
to attend to that.. A couple of others who live here have seen her get up the next day and go to Mass after she told
me she wasn't going. I had a ride last Saturday but she forgot to call me. This has been kind of a bummer. I can take
the bus but only now and then because it gets expensive and then I can't afford it. Also, I can do that only til the
time changes again and then it will be dark to early to do this. Besides that it can only be on Satufday because the
buses here don't run on Sunday. There is Mass on TV, if the channel comes in. I can't afford
cable so that I can get EWTN. So I've been making the best of it and just remembering my prayers and to think of Him as
often as I can.

I do not like the missing Mass is a mortal sin thing and that Mass in as obligation. To my mind it isn't right to do this
to the faithful. But whatdo I know? I hate feeling like I'm in terrible sin but then my communion with Our Lord hasn't
been broken. He still loves me and moves in my life. I don't know what to do anymore. All Catholic churches are out
of walking distance. I called my own parish to see if someone could come and get me and they said no one could
do that but they would send a Eucharistic minister out for me once in awhile. I said thank you but nothing has ever come
of that. I guess they forgot.

I am epileptic so I don't drive and couldn't borrow a vehicle from someone. My brother isn't Catholic but lives in the same
building I do so once when my rides fell through again I asked him. He said,"you mean I have to take you all the way to
church, then come back here again, then go pick you up and then come back here again. Forget it." So much for that but
I thought I would try. I even said I'd pay him for gas but the answer was still no.

I am reaching out for suggestions and help. Please try to understand.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Debra Little' timestamp='1306188460' post='2245064']
This is very hard for me to write and there may be some here who judge me on this but oh well, I write it anyway.

For me, getting to Mass the last 5 weeks has been impossible. With the couple people I can rely on for rides
things keep getting mixed up. One keeps forgetting (take into account she is elderly), or she says she's not
going and to ask the other woman So I do that but then something comes up with her family and she needs
to attend to that.. A couple of others who live here have seen her get up the next day and go to Mass after she told
me she wasn't going. I had a ride last Saturday but she forgot to call me. This has been kind of a bummer. I can take
the bus but only now and then because it gets expensive and then I can't afford it. Also, I can do that only til the
time changes again and then it will be dark to early to do this. Besides that it can only be on Satufday because the
buses here don't run on Sunday. There is Mass on TV, if the channel comes in. I can't afford
cable so that I can get EWTN. So I've been making the best of it and just remembering my prayers and to think of Him as
often as I can.

I do not like the missing Mass is a mortal sin thing and that Mass in as obligation. To my mind it isn't right to do this
to the faithful. But whatdo I know? I hate feeling like I'm in terrible sin but then my communion with Our Lord hasn't
been broken. He still loves me and moves in my life. I don't know what to do anymore. All Catholic churches are out
of walking distance. I called my own parish to see if someone could come and get me and they said no one could
do that but they would send a Eucharistic minister out for me once in awhile. I said thank you but nothing has ever come
of that. I guess they forgot.

I am epileptic so I don't drive and couldn't borrow a vehicle from someone. My brother isn't Catholic but lives in the same
building I do so once when my rides fell through again I asked him. He said,"you mean I have to take you all the way to
church, then come back here again, then go pick you up and then come back here again. Forget it." So much for that but
I thought I would try. I even said I'd pay him for gas but the answer was still no.

I am reaching out for suggestions and help. Please try to understand.
[/quote]
If you can't make it to Mass because of circumstances beyond your control, you're not in mortal sin for missing Mass. Of course it is better to make it to Mass than miss, and does wonderful things for the spiritual life, but when you are putting forth a good faith effort (and it sounds like you are) then it's not your fault, and it cannot be a mortal sin, since it clearly was not your intention to miss Mass. You can't accidentally or unintentionally commit a mortal sin.

I don't know of any suggestions, but I'll say a prayer for you, that you can find some way to go! And don't be too hard on yourself, since you're trying to go.

[CatherineM]

I've have had similar problems in the past. Look at alternative places that offer mass. I went to church for years at the chapel of the Catholic hospital near where I lived. I have gone to mass at convents, at nursing homes, and even at a chapel at the airport. I've attended mass conducted by a retired priest who was confined to his home. Also, EWTN is broadcast without being scrambled. Any satellite dish can pick it up. We have a friend who picked up a small dish at a pawn shop, just so he could watch Mother Angelica. It also broadcasts on the internet. In some places you can pick it up on the radio. Think outside the box, but if you can't make it to mass, even with diligent effort, that's okay. You'll get no judgment from me about it.

[penguin31]

First of all, if you're going to every effort you can to attend Mass but genuinely can't find transportation either through your own means or the assistance of the parish - then mortal sin isn't an issue.

[quote]"Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge [b]and deliberate consent[/b].[/quote]
Yup. Definitely not mortal sin. You're not deliberately choosing to do it, based on the details in your post. If any of the three criteria aren't met, by definition it is [b]not [/b]a mortal sin.

That said, I'm genuinely surprised your parish doesn't offer *some* sort of transportation. Every church I can ever recall visiting offered some sort of transportation program, be it bus/van service, volunteers from the parish driving you, etc. Fact is that if your parish *isn't* offering these sorts of services, they may not be fully fulfilling their obligation to tend to the needs of the members of the parish.

Are *any* of the churches within a reasonable *driving* distance from you offering transportation services? If not, consider calling around - I'm sure *somewhere* in your area is a kind-hearted soul who can help. If *that* fails to bear fruit, you might even consider contacting the Diocese office to see what sort of help they can offer. At the very least it might do them good to hear that a parish is failing the needs of it's parishoners.

I'm also rather shocked that your brother (who has my prayers) wouldn't even provide you with assistance. I've driven family and friends places at all times of the day, in all weather conditions, because I've found that basic kindness goes a long way in this world and the next.

Assuming you have access to a computer either Sunday morning, mid-afternoon, or Sunday night, EWTN broadcasts their Masses online. There's even a streaming video box for EWTN in the site chat.

Edited May 23, 2011 by penguin31

[Debra Little]

[quote name='penguin31' timestamp='1306189794' post='2245077']
First of all, if you're going to every effort you can to attend Mass but genuinely can't find transportation either through your own means or the assistance of the parish - then mortal sin isn't an issue.


Yup. Definitely not mortal sin. You're not deliberately choosing to do it, based on the details in your post. If any of the three criteria aren't met, by definition it is [b]not [/b]a mortal sin.

That said, I'm genuinely surprised your parish doesn't offer *some* sort of transportation. Every church I can ever recall visiting offered some sort of transportation program, be it bus/van service, volunteers from the parish driving you, etc. Fact is that if your parish *isn't* offering these sorts of services, they may not be fully fulfilling their obligation to tend to the needs of the members of the parish.

Are *any* of the churches within a reasonable *driving* distance from you offering transportation services? If not, consider calling around - I'm sure *somewhere* in your area is a kind-hearted soul who can help. If *that* fails to bear fruit, you might even consider contacting the Diocese office to see what sort of help they can offer. At the very least it might do them good to hear that a parish is failing the needs of it's parishoners.

I'm also rather shocked that your brother (who has my prayers) wouldn't even provide you with assistance. I've driven family and friends places at all times of the day, in all weather conditions, because I've found that basic kindness goes a long way in this world and the next.

Assuming you have access to a computer either Sunday morning, mid-afternoon, or Sunday night, EWTN broadcasts their Masses online. There's even a streaming video box for EWTN in the site chat.
[/quote]



I thank you. I will look up Mass on ETWN for now. My brother is the kind who expect others to be there for him but if doesn't want to he's
not going to help someone else. Nothing anyone can do about it. Only God can change him. I was incredibly disappointed when my last
attempt failed. It's nice to know that I'm not in mortal sin, a huge relief if you can imagine.

Maybe I will have to change parishes. Thanks too for the suggestion of calling the Bishop. Not a thrilling thought though as I hear is he
very progressive and not in the good sense. But this is hearsay so not entirely to be believed. I will check around with other parishes
to see if there's a ride for me somewhere. I always have wondered why this is a service the Catholic Church doesn't offer. There is
something we can learn from the fundamentalists here. The thought of changing parishes isn't a cheerful one but maybe that's what
God wants me to do. Change is not always comfortable. I have been in that parish for a long time and in spite of what's happened
with getting to Mass I feel at home there.

I appreciate your suggestions. Thanks.

[Lil Red]

you have my prayers, Debra Little.

[Debra Little]

[quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1306189197' post='2245072']
I've have had similar problems in the past. Look at alternative places that offer mass. I went to church for years at the chapel of the Catholic hospital near where I lived. I have gone to mass at convents, at nursing homes, and even at a chapel at the airport. I've attended mass conducted by a retired priest who was confined to his home. Also, EWTN is broadcast without being scrambled. Any satellite dish can pick it up. We have a friend who picked up a small dish at a pawn shop, just so he could watch Mother Angelica. It also broadcasts on the internet. In some places you can pick it up on the radio. Think outside the box, but if you can't make it to mass, even with diligent effort, that's okay. You'll get no judgment from me about it.
[/quote]

I can't afford a satallite dish, even a used one but there is a nursing home not far from me. I will check that out. Do you
think they would let me attend if they have Mass there? That would nice.

[Lisa]

[quote name='Debra Little' timestamp='1306191706' post='2245094']
I can't afford a satallite dish, even a used one but there is a nursing home not far from me. I will check that out. Do you
think they would let me attend if they have Mass there? That would nice.
[/quote]

I'm certain they would; you might just call ahead the first time. I went to Mass at a nursing home one time, they were thrilled that I was there- and I just showed up! Just for your info, those Masses aren't always on Sundays, but if that is what you can get to, it's still a huge blessing to be able to receive our Lord in the Eucharist anytime!

[Debra Little]

[quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1306192429' post='2245103']
I'm certain they would; you might just call ahead the first time. I went to Mass at a nursing home one time, they were thrilled that I was there- and I just showed up! Just for your info, those Masses aren't always on Sundays, but if that is what you can get to, it's still a huge blessing to be able to receive our Lord in the Eucharist anytime!
[/quote]

I know. I haven't received Our Lord in Holy Communion and I am so hungry for Him.

[Vincent Vega]

Ditto what others have said: if you have no control over the situation, it's impossible for it to be mortal sin.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Debra Little' timestamp='1306191706' post='2245094']
I can't afford a satallite dish, even a used one but there is a nursing home not far from me. I will check that out. Do you
think they would let me attend if they have Mass there? That would nice.
[/quote]

I used to work in a nursing home and told my former spiritual director that I wanted to attend daily Mass and he suggested that I attend Mass at the nursing home. Of course, I was unable to because I never got a break during that hour, but it was nice to have the option. I doubt that any priest would turn you away.

[havok579257]

a bus pass is really cheap. are you that poor you can't afford a bus pass? it usually costs less than 2 dollars a ride. so there and back is less than 4 dollars a week. i am not mocking you, i honestly want to know. if the buses come on satuday you could always go to vigil mass. you said they don't come on sunday but i imagine they come on saturday.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='havok579257' timestamp='1306201851' post='2245184']
a bus pass is really cheap. are you that poor you can't afford a bus pass? it usually costs less than 2 dollars a ride. so there and back is less than 4 dollars a week. i am not mocking you, i honestly want to know. if the buses come on satuday you could always go to vigil mass. you said they don't come on sunday but i imagine they come on saturday.
[/quote]
i don't know about Debra, but I know that even in my town of over 100k people, the buses don't run on Sundays, and has shorter hours/reduced routes on Saturdays. as in, they don't run past 5.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='havok579257' timestamp='1306201851' post='2245184']
a bus pass is really cheap. are you that poor you can't afford a bus pass? it usually costs less than 2 dollars a ride. so there and back is less than 4 dollars a week. i am not mocking you, i honestly want to know. if the buses come on satuday you could always go to vigil mass. you said they don't come on sunday but i imagine they come on saturday.
[/quote]
Is it really our business how poor she is? If she says she can't afford it, I'm inclined to believe her. She's obviously trying to get to Mass and not just using it as a cop-out, or she wouldn't have even bothered to bring it up. I also would definitely not be inclined to use public transportation in some places if I were a traveling alone, because it is not always that safe for women.

[CatherineM]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1306203943' post='2245207']
Is it really our business how poor she is? If she says she can't afford it, I'm inclined to believe her. She's obviously trying to get to Mass and not just using it as a cop-out, or she wouldn't have even bothered to bring it up. I also would definitely not be inclined to use public transportation in some places if I were a traveling alone, because it is not always that safe for women.
[/quote]
What she said.

Our church is 3 blocks away. Before we had a car, I walked. I always passed at least a half a dozen prostitutes and drug dealers on the way. My husband wouldn't let me walk alone.