Spiritual Depression Due To Vain Discernment

[FutureSister2009]

[quote name='Yaatee' timestamp='1306163865' post='2244868']
But, once again, what does[i] the community[/i] want? Maybe they would like you to have another year of school. If you lose your vocation in a year of school, maybe you didn't have one. Can you and your mother visit these sisters? Even the application takes time and money for the tests. Is there a dowry? You'll have to buy clothing, shoes, etc. All of this will take time, even after your mother's assent. Once you are of age, 18?, 21?, you can go ahead. Your parents may come around during your formation.

Waiting build maturity. Everyone, but especially the young, want everything[i] now.[/i] But you often can't have it [b]now[/b].

If my daughter wanted this, I would require that she be 21, same as if she wanted to marry.
[/quote]


Well I don't know what the exact requirement is since one Sister I know entered long after she was done college (only because she never wanted to be a Sister when she was in college) And the other one I know went in when she was 17 without going to college. My mom and I know some of the Sisters. A majority of the others are in France, Italy and even Africa. I'd like to go out and meet them all someday. The age she wants me to be is 21. I'm almost 20.

[beatitude]

FutureSister, it would be unreasonable if your mum was asking you to delay your vocation indefinitely, but this is different. A request to wait a year seems fair, especially as you are so young. Many of the saints had to wait a while at the request of close family - Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity didn't enter Carmel until she turned twenty-one out of respect for her mother's wishes, delaying her entrance by two years. She used those two years well by deepening her prayer life and helping others, especially children in need. You could do the same. Remember, you can love God and your neighbour wherever you are, and following your mum's advice will be a good taste of religious obedience. In the convent you might often be asked to do things that you don't like at first, but later they may well turn out to be for the best.

God bless you.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

I used to think I had it all planned out (insert laughs here).

I would go to university, marry a wonderful Catholic guy, have twelve kids, homeschool them, and quilt.

Then junior year of HS came and boy o boy was I suprised. I thought I'd fully gotten the "Religious life" out of me (not happening, ever). I started to stop denying God and asked Him what I was supposed to do. The answer I got was to serve Him by devoting myself to helping others through religious life.

Then I discovered the NDs. I really liked them. I wrote to them twice and thought about visiting. But I still didn't feel so "at home." I looked then into the DSMMEs. Great order as well.

But I can't find where I belong. I really like the Dominican spirituality. But no Dominican order I found was really dedicated to helping the poor and abandoned, an apostolate I feel called to. So now I'm searching for where I'm supposed to be.

I'm looking into the SSVMs and the Carmelites of the Divine Heart of Jesus. I know God leads us where we're supposed to go, but I wish I knew now. Patience, patience, patience.

My parents told me to finish univeristy; I have a scholarship and the rest is paid easily by my family (thank you, merciful Lord) so loans aren't a huge deal. I'll finish early, too, probably. Waiting isn't an issue, it's the not knowing where I'm supposed to be.

I'm praying for all of you, I hope you can do the same for me.


Dieu vous benisse.

[FutureSister2009]

[quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1306164766' post='2244875']
FutureSister, it would be unreasonable if your mum was asking you to delay your vocation indefinitely, but this is different. A request to wait a year seems fair, especially as you are so young. Many of the saints had to wait a while at the request of close family - Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity didn't enter Carmel until she turned twenty-one out of respect for her mother's wishes, delaying her entrance by two years. She used those two years well by deepening her prayer life and helping others, especially children in need. You could do the same. Remember, you can love God and your neighbour wherever you are, and following your mum's advice will be a good taste of religious obedience. In the convent you might often be asked to do things that you don't like at first, but later they may well turn out to be for the best.

God bless you.
[/quote]

That is really helpful. Thank you!

[Yaatee]

removed-double post

Edited May 23, 2011 by Yaatee

[Yaatee]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1306164910' post='2244877']
I used to think I had it all planned out (insert laughs here).

I would go to university, marry a wonderful Catholic guy, have twelve kids, homeschool them, and quilt.

Then junior year of HS came and boy o boy was I suprised. I thought I'd fully gotten the "Religious life" out of me (not happening, ever). I started to stop denying God and asked Him what I was supposed to do. The answer I got was to serve Him by devoting myself to helping others through religious life.

Then I discovered the NDs. I really liked them. I wrote to them twice and thought about visiting. But I still didn't feel so "at home." I looked then into the DSMMEs. Great order as well.

But I can't find where I belong. I really like the Dominican spirituality. But no Dominican order I found was really dedicated to helping the poor and abandoned, an apostolate I feel called to. So now I'm searching for where I'm supposed to be.

I'm looking into the SSVMs and the Carmelites of the Divine Heart of Jesus. I know God leads us where we're supposed to go, but I wish I knew now. Patience, patience, patience.

My parents told me to finish univeristy; I have a scholarship and the rest is paid easily by my family (thank you, merciful Lord) so loans aren't a huge deal. I'll finish early, too, probably. Waiting isn't an issue, it's the not knowing where I'm supposed to be.

I'm praying for all of you, I hope you can do the same for me.


Dieu vous benisse.
[/quote]

[i]The poor and abandoned?[/i] You mean, like the original Daughters of Charity, featured so prominently on your info page and avatar? (They wear a modified habit now-for the habit seekers.)

[url="http://www.daughters-of-charity.org/"]http://www.daughters-of-charity.org/[/url]

They mention serving the "poor and marginalized" in the first sentence of[i] [b]Who We Are[/b][/i][b].[/b]


...or the Franciscans? "Poor and abandoned " is their signature.

Edited May 23, 2011 by Yaatee

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='Yaatee' timestamp='1306166745' post='2244887']
[i]The poor and abandoned?[/i] You mean, like the original Daughters of Charity, featured so prominently on your info page and avatar? (They wear a modified habit now-for the habit seekers.)

[url="http://www.daughters-of-charity.org/"]http://www.daughters-of-charity.org/[/url]

They mention serving the "poor and marginalized" in the first sentence of[i] Who We Are[/i].


...or the Franciscans? "Poor and abandoned " is their signature.
[/quote]


Yep. I know. I'm working on getting a spiritual director to help me.

One reason I like the Carmelites of The Divine Heart of Jesus is because of the work they do with children who are abused/abandoned/negleted.

I feel called to a more traditional habit. But we'll see. God's running this rodeo, not me.

Edited May 23, 2011 by LaPetiteSoeur

[carmenchristi]

I don't know how old you are or where your discernment has led you so far, but I believe that what you are experiencing is something that will bring about fruit. It is very important that you find a good spiritual director. I'll pray for you.

Although I don't know anything about the books she mentioned, I completely endorse what Catherine Therese said.

[Yaatee]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1306166804' post='2244888']
Yep. I know. I'm working on getting a spiritual director to help me.
[/quote]

Good !



(PS: love the French! Where are you, or will you say?)

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='Yaatee' timestamp='1306166915' post='2244890']
Good !



(PS: love the French! Where are you, or will you say?)
[/quote]

Je suis

Edited May 23, 2011 by LaPetiteSoeur

[organwerke]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1306164910' post='2244877']
I used to think I had it all planned out (insert laughs here).

I would go to university, marry a wonderful Catholic guy, have twelve kids, homeschool them, and quilt.

Then junior year of HS came and boy o boy was I suprised. I thought I'd fully gotten the "Religious life" out of me (not happening, ever). I started to stop denying God and asked Him what I was supposed to do. The answer I got was to serve Him by devoting myself to helping others through religious life.

Then I discovered the NDs. I really liked them. I wrote to them twice and thought about visiting. But I still didn't feel so "at home." I looked then into the DSMMEs. Great order as well.

But I can't find where I belong. I really like the Dominican spirituality. But no Dominican order I found was really dedicated to helping the poor and abandoned, an apostolate I feel called to. So now I'm searching for where I'm supposed to be.

I'm looking into the SSVMs and the Carmelites of the Divine Heart of Jesus. I know God leads us where we're supposed to go, but I wish I knew now. Patience, patience, patience.

My parents told me to finish univeristy; I have a scholarship and the rest is paid easily by my family (thank you, merciful Lord) so loans aren't a huge deal. I'll finish early, too, probably. Waiting isn't an issue, it's the not knowing where I'm supposed to be.

I'm praying for all of you, I hope you can do the same for me.


Dieu vous benisse.
[/quote]

Maybe you could give a look to this order too:
http://www.msptm.com/

[vee]

To quote the thread title "Spiritual Depression Due To Vain Discernment" I can only add that trying to figure out or discern God's will for one's life is never ever in vain. The safest place to be is in His will. The struggle might be that you are exactly where He wants you to be but its not where you want. To quote St Ignatius of Loyola "I must first of all place before my eyes the end for which I have been created, which is to praise God our Lord and to save my soul." Also from him a prayer
Eternal Word, only begotten Son of God,
Teach me true generosity.
Teach me to serve you as you deserve.
To give without counting the cost,
To fight heedless of wounds,
To labor without seeking rest,
To sacrifice myself without thought of any reward
Save the knowledge that I have done your will.
Amen.

[vee]

And another prayer from St Ignatius

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.


You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.


Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me.

[das8949]

[quote name='Santa Cruz' timestamp='1306163786' post='2244867']
Nunsense is communicating some good counsel tested through time. Do you have a spiritual director as he will know you across time and will have the training to help you battle this. Also in the case of acedia, manual labor is recommended by the Desert Fathers. If you can get out and garden, clean the house or go for a brisk walk or jog on a regular basis? When I do manual labor or exercise, it surely helps clear my mind.

I will be praying for you and all struggling with this.
[/quote]


We emailed one time and I remember you saying that the DSMME's asked you to wait a year as well. Also recently you posted about be jealous of friends who are in relationship. As far as losing one's vocation I don't personally believe that is possible. It may be redefined but not just vanish. I hear so much yearning in your posts for now, now now. Try college for a year, get to know yourself better, your community better and earn your mom's support.

Remember I am 62 so if this is sounding like a mother... or harsh it is only because I have been where you are now when I was 18 and wish that I had done some waiting.

Darlene

[Santa Cruz]

[quote name='DarleneSteinemann' timestamp='1306171972' post='2244921']
We emailed one time and I remember you saying that the DSMME's asked you to wait a year as well. Also recently you posted about be jealous of friends who are in relationship. As far as losing one's vocation I don't personally believe that is possible. It may be redefined but not just vanish. I hear so much yearning in your posts for now, now now. Try college for a year, get to know yourself better, your community better and earn your mom's support.

Remember I am 62 so if this is sounding like a mother... or harsh it is only because I have been where you are now when I was 18 and wish that I had done some waiting.

Darlene
[/quote]

Hi Darlene, You have addressed me in your post? I don't think I am the person you are intending as what you are saying does not apply to me, well, at all.