For Those Who Are Discerning Or Discerned Religious Life

[OnlySunshine]

Such a good question!

I think my biggest hurdle is impatience. I am very impatient, especially these days, where I feel like I'm playing a waiting game on both employment and discernment. I am working on calming down and focusing more on Christ rather than the future.

I also have an issue with getting angry and judgmental a little too quickly, especially if someone or something sets it off. I think my biggest issue is driving because of all the annoying drivers out there who do dumb things, but that is something I have confessed and trying to make a change in. I'm not doing too well, but there is always room for improvement.

I am really worried about my ability to be able to commit to time in the convent. I've had problems in the past with committing to a job, especially when the work started to become repetitive and mundane. It starts happening a few months in to the job. That's something I feel I need help with from a therapist.

Also, since I've been out of the workforce for so long, I have trouble relating to others. I used to be really good at empathizing with people, but my patience level is really low since I don't deal with it everyday. My mom comments sometimes on how I'm not listening to her and I talk too much about my own problems. I have also been hurt in the past by people who I considered to be my best friends. One of them hurt me so much that it was very difficult to trust someone enough to have friends, so I have very few. I've tried to work on this with a counselor in the past, but we didn't get to the root of the issue. I felt wounded and insecure and not ready to handle change at the time, but I hope I have matured enough that I am willing to work on making the change and trusting people again. I can be a little too suspicious of others and at the first sign of something going wrong, I usually shut down and turn away. I'm a little too protective of myself and I need to learn to be more open. My biggest fear is that I will end up alone and deserted with no friends. That is something I definitely do NOT want to have happen.

ETA: I think that one of the reasons I have problems trusting others is that I don't trust myself enough. I need to work on my confidence and self-esteem levels, too.

Edited May 17, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae

[MargaretTeresa]

I have a problem with over thinking things as well being very outspoken sometimes. I think this is partially due to being raised to be very independent. So, something I'm really working on is simply letting go and letting God.

[faithcecelia]

My 'protestant' sense of justice was a big problem for me. I found it very hard when something was said or done that I didn't consider right, I was too busy sticking to the rules that I forgot to love at times.

[Santa Cruz]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1305660088' post='2242911']
even him?

[img]http://h2omom.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/prince-charles-kilt-3.jpg[/img]
[/quote]

Pardon my American ignorance. But, I have only seen men in kilts with a bagpipe in hand. I always thought they went together as an outfit? Do men wear kilts even if they are not playing the bagpipes? Perhaps I need to research kilts to gain a better understanding. This is fascinating!

[Sister Marie]

I hope a response is welcome from someone who has relatively recently entered. I think this is an amesome question to be asking yourselves. In fact, although I thought about what would be hard before I entered religious life, I never consciously thought about what IN ME would be the most difficult. As I look back on my journey through formation - I realize that I was clueless as to what I really had to work on, haha. It seems to me that I was always eager to work on things that I was already doing okay with... that way I could still feel like I was "doing well" or "being good" without working on the really raw and difficult stuff. When I was finally able to surrender to the things that others saw in me that needed to be formed in the light of God's grace, I found much more peace and many more blessings than when I was making plans to "fix" things that didn't really need to be.

Community is great for letting you know what it is that still needs to be perfected in you - so you never have to worry [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/like.gif[/img]. And nunsense is right that it won't ever be perfected... the practice of perfection comes in weakness. So there will never be a day when in the convent, every single sister thinks you're the nicest/holiest/most wonderful sister ever. There will always be, everyday, something you could have done better. In fact, right now I can think of about twenty things I could have done better today[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img].

Anyway, after all of that... my biggest weakness and hardship that I brought with me to the convent was a desire to be liked by everyone. It was so hard for me to realize that in the convent it wasn't about me. Because it wasn't about me I didn't get feedback all the time (positive or negative) and I couldn't figure out where I stood most of the time. I can be really self-centered. Notice I speak in the present... because it's still not over! and it probably won't be! I still find myself bending over backwards to be liked and be right. I'm an obnoxious perfectionist[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blush.gif[/img]. Sometimes it actually comes in handy and other times it causes huge problems. Either way it is what God has given me and it is part of me that is consecrated to His service just as the rest of me is. I trust hat He will use it for good no matter.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Santa Cruz' timestamp='1305670546' post='2243000']
Pardon my American ignorance. But, I have only seen men in kilts with a bagpipe in hand. I always thought they went together as an outfit? Do men wear kilts even if they are not playing the bagpipes? Perhaps I need to research kilts to gain a better understanding. This is fascinating!
[/quote]

It is a big Scottish tradition to wear the tartan of your family at special occasions, especially weddings. In ancient/medieval times, soldiers would wear the tartan kilt of their families to show which side they were from. I am of Scottish ancestry and we have a tartan pattern that is green and blue. Scots are the big bagpipe players--that's probably why you associate them as such, but you definitely would see more tartan kilts in Scotland without bagpipes than with.

The one thing I have never understood is why men do not wear underwear under the kilts. That drove me crazy.

Here is my fave celebrity kilt photo:

[img]http://justperioddrama.com/EyeCandy/data/media/18/Gerard_Butler_-_Kilts_2009.jpg[/img]

[jkaands]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1305682720' post='2243053']
It is a big Scottish tradition to wear the tartan of your family at special occasions, especially weddings. In ancient/medieval times, soldiers would wear the tartan kilt of their families to show which side they were from. I am of Scottish ancestry and we have a tartan pattern that is green and blue. Scots are the big bagpipe players--that's probably why you associate them as such, but you definitely would see more tartan kilts in Scotland without bagpipes than with.

The one thing I have never understood is why men do not wear underwear under the kilts. That drove me crazy.

Here is my fave celebrity kilt photo:

[img]http://justperioddrama.com/EyeCandy/data/media/18/Gerard_Butler_-_Kilts_2009.jpg[/img]

[/quote]


Looks nice. Longer than usual.

Er...are you sure about the ...underwear thing? Nowadays...? Maybe in the past...

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='jkaands' timestamp='1305683285' post='2243057']
Looks nice. Longer than usual.

Er...are you sure about the ...underwear thing? Nowadays...? Maybe in the past...
[/quote]

Oh, yes. If you do a Google image search on "kilts", you'll see what I'm talking about (though I warn you, some of the photos are graphic). It's a tradition, apparently. Not a very good one, though...
[quote]
Underwear may or may not be worn, as the wearer prefers, although tradition has it that a "true Scotsman" should wear nothing under his kilt. The Scottish Tartans Authority, however, has described the practice as childish and unhygienic.[/quote]

Edited May 18, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae

[Lisa]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1305684531' post='2243067']
Oh, yes. If you do a Google image search on "kilts", you'll see what I'm talking about (though I warn you, some of the photos are graphic). It's a tradition, apparently. Not a very good one, though...

[/quote]

I'm kinda thinking I'll skip the google image search... [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/huh.gif[/img] Google image search scares me sometimes!

Reading all of these, I find myself nodding "I do that. Yup, I struggle with that too..."
Impatience, pride, a desire to be loved/liked

I'm thinking of starting this:
[font="Arial"][quote] O Jesus! meek and humble of heart,[/font][b][font="Arial"]Hear me.[/font][/b][font="Arial"]
Fromthe desire of being esteemed,[/font][b][font="Arial"]
Deliver me, Jesus.[/font][/b][font="Arial"]From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
Fromthe fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...[/font]

[font="Arial"]That others may be loved more than I,[/font][b][font="Arial"]
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.[/font][/b]

[font="Arial"]That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I,[/font][font="Arial"]provided that I may become as holy as I should…[/quote][/font]

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1305685209' post='2243072']
I'm kinda thinking I'll skip the google image search... [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/huh.gif[/img] Google image search scares me sometimes!

Reading all of these, I find myself nodding "I do that. Yup, I struggle with that too..."
Impatience, pride, a desire to be loved/liked

I'm thinking of starting this:
[font="Arial"][/font]
[/quote]

Yeah, I didn't expect to see such graphic pictures. I even have my Safe Search set to "strict", but it still showed stuff I don't wanna see.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='jkaands' timestamp='1305683285' post='2243057']
Looks nice. Longer than usual.

Er...are you sure about the ...underwear thing? Nowadays...? Maybe in the past...
[/quote]

YOU NEED TO SEE THE HAIRY KNEES. Sorry.

My auntie's from NI and at my cousin's wedding, many men wore kilts (or the plaid pantaloons...cheating!). One older guy was so annoyed at this other guy because the kilt was so long! He was discussing how one needs to see the "hairy knees."

It ws funny.

Sorry for hijacking this thread

[LaPetiteSoeur]

As far as problems needed to overcome:

pride (I don't take criticism well, but I'm working on it as it is a process)
slacking. O my goodness, I keep slacking on the Divine Office and I honestly don't know why.
Many other things, but I can't think this early!

[HopefulBride]

Thank you everyone for your openness in answering these questions. I always wondered if I was the only one who worried bout these things and adjusting to life in the convent. Very glad to know that I am not the only one who worries about being charitable toward others.

[Santa Cruz]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1305682720' post='2243053']
It is a big Scottish tradition to wear the tartan of your family at special occasions, especially weddings. In ancient/medieval times, soldiers would wear the tartan kilt of their families to show which side they were from. I am of Scottish ancestry and we have a tartan pattern that is green and blue. Scots are the big bagpipe players--that's probably why you associate them as such, but you definitely would see more tartan kilts in Scotland without bagpipes than with.

The one thing I have never understood is why men do not wear underwear under the kilts. That drove me crazy.

Here is my fave celebrity kilt photo:

[img]http://justperioddrama.com/EyeCandy/data/media/18/Gerard_Butler_-_Kilts_2009.jpg[/img]
[/quote]


Thank you for clarifying! Fascinating...

[Lil'Monster]

this got weird like Max always says