For Those Who Are Discerning Or Discerned Religious Life

[HopefulBride]

Those who are close to me know that I am as sweet as can be but I have a temper out of this world (which with the grace of God is slowly becoming a thing of the past) what I am still struggling with is the fact that I tend to get impatient. I get that it is not necessarily a sin to get angry or frustrated at others and I am not aching over that. My biggest hurt comes from the fact that I beg the Lord to help me grow in patience and charity and when the opportunity is presented to me, I throw it away by giving in to my feelings of frustration.

That is one of my biggest fears that I will find myself being short with another sister or a student just because the particular sister or that particular student might be driving me insane. I mean whenever these things happen I am driven to tears because I am so saddened, especially when I think of our Lord. I am sure he was tired, hungry and in serious need of alone time sometimes but yet he took the time to heal others and listen to them.

So my question is two-fold - to those of who are waiting to enter (discerning, applying, accepted and working on debt) What is your biggest concern about life in the convent, what I mean is what perceived fault of yours do you fear might be a hindrance to community life and as such you need to work on the most?

For those who were in religious life, what did you perceive as your biggest fault before entering and once you entered how was it like to try to improve in that area daily?

Feel free to PM me your response if you are so inclined.

Thanks!
Hopeful

[AccountDeleted]

It is admirable of you to care so much about offending Our Lord, but just remember that we are not ever going to be perfect. He set us an example and we certainly need to strive to emulate Him, but if we thought we were without fault, then we would be full of arrogance, vanity and pride. Be glad that you can see your weaknesses and thank Him for this blessing. I am learning to accept my failings, not as something I want to ignore or even tolerate, but as something that reminds me of how much I need Him and how grateful I am for His kindness.

And as St John the Apostle tells us, if we think we are without sin, then we are liars and calling God a liar too! Having something to work on keeps us humble.

My main fault is always trusting my own judgment more than that of anyone else, including superiors and senior sisters. I had to be independent and learned to trust myself at an early age, and it has always been hard to put my trust into others, and into trusting that God knows, cares, and is taking care, even when it seems like things don't make sense to me! Now I see that this fault is teaching me to trust Him more and more as I let go of my own judgments and ask Him to show me what He has planned for me.

Interesting thread!

[FutureSister2009]

I am in basically the same situation as you. I have a pretty bad temper as well. My mom wants to take me to a psychiatrist before she lets me enter any convent. But my concern is I know you have to go through all these psychological papers and whatnot when you apply to enter. I'm hoping it doesn't affect me getting accepted or if that's what she's trying to do to prevent me from getting accepted.

[Santa Cruz]

Wow! Great topic!

Indeed you take your faults with you when you enter religious life or in any vocation. Also, in a short amount of time you start to notice other faults that you were not aware of within yourself. Thank God you also become aware of gifts received that you never discovered in yourself or appreciated.

For me, I am a people person but also cherish solitude with God. One thing I learned is that solitude with God can indeed happen in the presence of others as a cenobite. One thing I knew before entering and indeed caused me suffering is that I am sensitive and care too much what other people think. It is not that I am a people pleaser, but I want to get along with everyone and if there is discord, I want peace right away and sometimes this is not possible. For me, it is important that I am in a Community that loves God and loves neighbor for the sake of God. I found that some Communities focus entirely upon solitude, union with God and do not value the relationship with their neighbor. In that type of environment, I struggle when conflict arises because I see union with God as including peace with neighbor. Thus Sister X is focusing upon getting her job done perfectly, being devout in chapel etc. while I am agonizing that Sister X and I have had a misunderstanding and I want to work things out with Sister but our discord is not important in the eyes of the Sister X or the Community.

Indeed, I have much to grow in this area and also have come to realize that I will not thrive in a Community that focuses solely upon union with God and is not concerned about relations with ones neighbor. I'd love any input on this!!!!!

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1305643515' post='2242771']
I am in basically the same situation as you. I have a pretty bad temper as well. My mom wants to take me to a psychiatrist before she lets me enter any convent. But my concern is I know you have to go through all these psychological papers and whatnot when you apply to enter. I'm hoping it doesn't affect me getting accepted or if that's what she's trying to do to prevent me from getting accepted.
[/quote]

Please don't be afraid of therapy. I was, and resisted it fearing it would go against me with the community. With hindsight, accepting it sooner could have meant me not having to leave.

[Yaatee]

I am an old lady, but in 2008 received a valuable insight.

My family told me that they were going to visit India, but that I was not invited. They were going in a non-luxury fashion and felt that I would not tolerate the difficulties. I was furious. I didn't say anything, but fantasized blowing up the house, etc. (Of course, they were right but that was beside the point. (!)) Then a friend came to town whom I chauffered around for 9 days. She drove me crazy. Then I had a hip replaced--out of town. THEN I returned and remembered that my family was going to India without me. I had completely recovered from my anger and wished them well. Of course, the trip was canceled because of their other obligations.

I learned something from this. Ever since, whenever I get angry or annoyed by something, I do something else and break my concentration. Invariably the anger dissipates.

[vee]

My faults?

Pride
Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy

edited to add that I think all of these will die ten mins after I do.

Edited May 17, 2011 by vee8

[dominicansoul]

Men in kilts

[JulianofLdn]

[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blush.gif[/img] Pretty much all of the above.

My biggest fear? That I can't commit. That I have to be ornery, just for the sake of it. That I have a very low boredom threshold...

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1305656103' post='2242863']
Men in kilts
[/quote]


Oh me too!

[Santa Cruz]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1305656103' post='2242863']
Men in kilts
[/quote]

Your doomed. That is major!

[vee]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1305656103' post='2242863']
Men in kilts
[/quote]

even him?

[img]http://h2omom.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/prince-charles-kilt-3.jpg[/img]

[dominicansoul]

vee just cured it!

[Lil'Monster]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1305660189' post='2242914']



vee just cured it!
[/quote]

[Lil'Monster]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1305660088' post='2242911']
even him?

[img]http://h2omom.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/prince-charles-kilt-3.jpg[/img]
[/quote]




ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww