How Do You Cope?

[OnlySunshine]

How do you cope with waiting? I know several here are either discerning religious life and haven't found the right order yet, or they received their acceptance and it is a matter of time before their entrance, or they are still paying off loans. After TB posted the topic about Pope Benedict's quote, I wondered how people were keeping themselves busy and serving the Church in the meantime. Everyone is called to strive for personal holiness, so how do you?

I am an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion at my Church. I take my ministry very seriously and I always look forward to the days I am scheduled or get to fill in for someone. I used to sing in the choir as well, but our new pastor decided that each parishioner should only participate in one ministry each Mass. So you can't be a reader and an EMHC, or a choir person and a reader, or a choir person and an EMHC.

I really need to work on my prayer life, though. I am strongly considering a daily Holy Hour since the Church with Perpetual Adoration is right down the street from me. I feel like I'm ignoring Jesus when I don't go. I also have been slacking in attending daily Mass, too. My car's battery died today so I won't be able to get there until later this week after my dad fixes it.

What are your ministries and activities?

[cmaD2006]

How do I cope with the waiting (and in my case -- the unknown with respect to what is next)? I take it day by day and focus on three things -- a) my relationship with the Lord, b) doing whatever I need to do to better/improve my relationships with others, and c) work on my sanctification - i.e. eliminating sin in my life.

I am not great with respect to prayer -- I do try to incorporate a daily prayer time, it is just really hard. I also try to attend Mass at least 3 times a week (sometimes 4, sometimes 5). Confession every 2 weeks, spiritual direction about every month to two months.

I don't have an adoration chapel close by (its about 30 minutes away). But when I had one 5 minutes away, I made it a point to stop by every day immediately after work or whatever ministry/church event I had. I would sometimes spend 10 minutes, other times 2 hrs. Whatever I could do at the time. It was really a grace filled time to have adoration so close by.

Ministries -- music, helping set up for Mass, bulletin, translations for the parish, parish council, lectoring. I will be becoming a EMHC (my spiritual director did not realize that I was not). Although honestly I don't know what direction my ministry will take.

[Tally Marx]

I teach Theology of the Body for Teens and organize events for my parish's youth group, etc.
I'm in choir.
I evangelize and do a lot of Pro Life stuff.
I read A LOT of books on saints and Theology and the history of the Church and apologetics.
I teach my godchild her Catechism.
Go to Mass and Adoration and say my Little Office...
among other things.

[TeresaBenedicta]

Waiting is tough. But it's an important time and one that I am constantly thanking God for (even if the next minute I'm begging Him to get me to the convent!).

One of the key lessons for me during this time of waiting is learning to love God's will [i]in the here and the now[/i]. Learning that abandoning myself completely to His will is not simply something for or about the future... but it's about [i]now[/i]. Accepting in faith the circumstances that He has placed me in and responding as best I can in love and humility.

But God is too good to me. I am so engulfed in His grace!! Heaven knows how much I need it!! He gives me so much!! He provides for me as for a little child!!

Seriously, though. I am currently working at a parish as the director of faith formation. And it is so clear to me that this is where God wants me right now. I can see His grace working so many amazing and good things in the parish... and it is humbling to see these works being done through me. I couldn't even count to you the amesome things I've seen. It is beautiful. There can be no doubt in my mind that they are orchestrated by God. And I am learning [i]so[/i] much. About people. About how God works in their lives. About prayer. About service. About loving my parishioners with the love I have for God.

It's actually a really strange feeling... I love my parish so much. And I love my parishioners. And I desire so much to stay with them, to be with them, to continue working with them. I can't imagine leaving. Of course, it's all God's work, so He can absolutely keep the work going. But I love them so much and I want to continue working with them.

Yet, at the same time, my heart longs for the convent. To be completely and totally His. To be a part of my community- how I long for community life! (Working in the parish, alone, with no support system has completely convinced me of my need for community life!) To become who I know I am meant to be, which is, in a way, to completely lose myself in Him. There is nothing I desire more. I've begun to see religious life more as an aid to holiness than anything else. I mean... I've already given myself to my Beloved. Certainly I desire to do so concretely, through vows. But I live now as one destined for the religious life, which means I am only His. And one of the clearest things to me in all of my circumstances... is how much I need the vows, and the community life, to help me in my struggle for holiness. There is so much that I cannot do on my own. I see how living as I do now, while good since it is God's will for me right now, is NOT a long term vocation. I [i]need[/i] to give myself, concretely to Him. I [i]need[/i] community life. I [i]need[/i] that chisel.

Two completely opposite desires that burn within my heart. I can't logically make sense of it. Nor do I really try. Instead I offer my heart back to God as a living sacrifice and let Him do with it as He pleases.

The beautiful thing about my life right now is that it's completely in His hands. Everything. I might enter this summer, I might enter a year from now or three years from now. I know the end goal. And I know what He wants me to do in the mean time. I just don't know the timing of it all. Nor do I need to, really... All according to God's will. I accept each moment and each day according to His will. It's so completely up to Him.

God is too good to me. He has made it abundantly clear that there is a reason and purpose to my waiting. He has, as Pope Benedict's quote mentioned, endowed the present with meaning. The present is always endowed with meaning, precisely because it is God's will. It is one thing to be able to accept that present, God's will, when you can [i]see[/i] that meaning. It is a whole lot more difficult when you can't see the meaning with which the present is endowed. Yet, whether we see meaning in the present or not, we must offer it back to God whole heartedly, abandoning our wills to His, with faith and hope and love.

PS I love Jesus!!!

[TeresaBenedicta]

Also, regarding prayer...

It's difficult to keep up a decent prayer life. Part of community life, it seems, is to help create that consistent schedule for prayer. I think, for those of us 'waiting', it will always be a struggle to pray in the way that we desire. Not to say that we should give up and say 'Well, it's impossible to be in the world and prayer well'. Just to recognize that that's a common struggle. I'm sure God brings much good out of the struggle itself. So, we keep at it! Doing the best we can. Falling down and picking ourselves back up. Recognizing that it's okay to struggle. That even prayer isn't something we can do on our own. It requires God's grace. [i]We can't love God perfectly, in the way He deserves to be loved, without His grace.[/i] So each time we fail at prayer, and each time that it causes us sorrow for not loving God the way we wish to love Him... remember that you are a little child, that you can't do it on your own. Don't be prideful and get angry at yourself. Just present yourself to the Father and say to Him, "[i]Abba, Father... I can't do it on my own. I want to love You perfectly, but I can't. Give me the grace to love You as You ought to be loved. Pick me up. Help me to try again.[/i]"

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1305183692' post='2240412']
Also, regarding prayer...

[b]It's difficult to keep up a decent prayer life[/b]. Part of community life, it seems, is to help create that consistent schedule for prayer. I think, for those of us 'waiting', it will always be a struggle to pray in the way that we desire. Not to say that we should give up and say 'Well, it's impossible to be in the world and prayer well'. Just to recognize that that's a common struggle. I'm sure God brings much good out of the struggle itself. So, we keep at it! Doing the best we can. Falling down and picking ourselves back up. Recognizing that it's okay to struggle. That even prayer isn't something we can do on our own. It requires God's grace. [i]We can't love God perfectly, in the way He deserves to be loved, without His grace.[/i] So each time we fail at prayer, and each time that it causes us sorrow for not loving God the way we wish to love Him... remember that you are a little child, that you can't do it on your own. Don't be prideful and get angry at yourself. Just present yourself to the Father and say to Him, "[i]Abba, Father... I can't do it on my own. I want to love You perfectly, but I can't. Give me the grace to love You as You ought to be loved. Pick me up. Help me to try again.[/i]"
[/quote]

You can say that again! No matter how hard I try, I cannot get myself on a regular prayer schedule. Since I don't have the luxury of an horarium or a community to back me up, I find myself failing over and over. Sometimes I try to pray the Rosary or Divine Mercy chaplet but I get distracted. I have also tried to say the Divine Office on my own and I can't keep up with it. I have resorted to spontaneous short prayer which works the best for me at this point in time. Other times, after Confession, I do go to the Adoration chapel and meditate for a while.

[AccountDeleted]

There are quite a few nice poems about waiting... just google poem waiting.

I personally like this one...

[center]Wait
by Russell Kelfer [/center]

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Edited May 12, 2011 by nunsense

[LaPetiteSoeur]

Um, let's see.

I teach religious education
lector
altar servered
I am a Eucharistic minister (sometimes). It became if no one was there, it was me.
Cantor/choir member
Try NOT to slack on the Divine Office (Compline and Lauds)
Read books about the church or the saints.
Serve others.
Communion service/Mass (depends where I am)

Since I'm moving, I'll have to find new parish activities to get involved in.

Holy Hour is WONDERFUL. I haven't been in a while, but it's seriously one of the greatest things about our faith. Jesus Christ is [i]right there[/i].

[HopefulBride]

For me the thing that is always in the forefront of my mind is that there is a reason for my wait. It may seem that financial is the only hindrance but I trust and I [i]know [/i]that there is a reason the Lord is calling me to wait another year before entrance. I gave a talk about the Lord's faithfulness and while preparing I realized that in this year of waiting, the Lord is speaking to me. It is up to me to not focus on what I am not getting (entrance as soon as possible) and focus rather on listening to what He is saying and the reasons why He is calling me to another year "on the outside"

As TB said it is very difficult when your heart is already in the convent but yet you find yourself being happy with the here and now. I know God is teaching me what true abandon is among other things and it is up to me to be open and receptive to that while living out my faith day by day. I am seeing many fruits and many blessings from this extra year of waiting and I know there is much more to come. My only wish and request is that the Lord continues to walk with me and keep me faithful to him.

As far as my ministries go I am the Coordinator for VBS in my parish so I work on that and I teach religious education. I am also involved in our women's guild, youth ministry and Eucharistic adoration. What I have learned above all as I wait is that it is not so much about what I am doing but about [i]how [/i]I am living my faith. As much as I love the ministry work that I am doing I recognize that the most important thing is spending time with the Lord and growing closer to Him. This is one of the things that is leading me to consider not doing VBS next year and not teaching Religious Education. As much as I enjoy the service and time with my fellow parishioners I yearn more than anything for alone time with Jesus (this is one of the reasons I sometimes think I might have a hint of Carmelite in me ) I mean if I could I would spend all of my days in front of the Blessed Sacrament just contemplating on His wonderfulness

As far as prayer life, I actually have a schedule that I have made for myself (modified for the weekends) that helps me to keep the routine of doing my daily prayers, daily mass and daily visits to the Blessed sacrament. I am slowly trying to ease myself into saying all of the offices. (I currently say 4) and so I am working on finding ways that helps me weed out the things that I feel are not helping in my spiritual growth (sometimes that is an active ministry) and keep only the things that I feel will help me in my growth.

I should point out that I am doing all of this with the help of my SD, he is very good at helping me focus on the the reason for it all. All I want while I wait is to grow more and more in love with our Lord and I know the best way to do that is to spend time with him so I have made that my priority.

Edited May 12, 2011 by HopefulBride

[Sarah147]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1305178030' post='2240395']
How do I cope with the waiting (and in my case -- the unknown with respect to what is next)? I take it day by day and focus on three things -- a) my relationship with the Lord, b) doing whatever I need to do to better/improve my relationships with others, and c) work on my sanctification - i.e. eliminating sin in my life.
[/quote]


I totally agree!

I agree with much of what Teresa said, too. There was a thread similar to this a while back. I remember posting about being abandoned and accepting of the life I have now. I trust this is where God's wants me right now, and so I can find love and joy in it and in the people in my life. I love my life right now.

I agree that keeping at a certain prayer time is tough. My aim is a Holy Hour w/Office every day, but some days things come up and I don't make it. My confessor recently has me reading/meditating 10-15 minutes on a small pocket Bible, so I can do it anywhere; I love it and it's great for my short attention with the short paragraphs and the book size isn't intimidating to my comprehension issues.

Tally, wow! You are active in A LOT. You seem to be a true gem for the SsEW!

[JenDeMaria]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1305189264' post='2240426']
There are quite a few nice poems about waiting... just google poem waiting.

I personally like this one...

[center]Wait
by Russell Kelfer [/center]


[/quote]

This is wonderful, Nunsense, thank you!!

[FutureSister2009]

I don't have any entrance date set up. I am just waiting to hear back from the Orders I've been in touch with so I can visit them and then set up an entrance date. In the meantime, I've been going to Adoration, doing spiritual reading and hanging out on here. I also enjoy being with my Sisters every chance I get.

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1305186530' post='2240423']
You can say that again! No matter how hard I try, I cannot get myself on a regular prayer schedule. Since I don't have the luxury of an horarium or a community to back me up, I find myself failing over and over. Sometimes I try to pray the Rosary or Divine Mercy chaplet but I get distracted. I have also tried to say the Divine Office on my own and I can't keep up with it. I have resorted to spontaneous short prayer which works the best for me at this point in time. Other times, after Confession, I do go to the Adoration chapel and meditate for a while.
[/quote]


Word ... agreed, agreed, agreed.

[Santa Cruz]

Such a good question MM! I appreciate all the answers.

I try to keep things in perspective, not allowing my emotions to rule and keeping the bigger picture in mind to avoid getting lost in my little world. Maintaining a grateful attitude and awareness plus persevering in joy helps a lot. Also, I find pm is great, connecting with others upon the same journey. I also try to attend gatherings of like minded folks, such as Frassatti Fellowship in NYC. Above all, daily Mass, prayer (Adoration, the Liturgy of the Hours, Lectio, the Rosary, spiritual reading, the Mercy Chaplet...), frequent Confession and staying in touch with my spiritual director I find to be essential. Oh, yeah, EWTN, Zenit news...help me stay in touch with the Universal Church. I am waiting to answer what I perceive is God calling me to religious life however I can still serve God now, give Him my all as I wait.

This time is really a gift, time with family, with friends...Surely, I have my moments but that is The Way of the Cross, falling down and getting back up again...

Thank you!

Here is a song you may enjoy:

http://youtu.be/Bb7TSGptd3Y

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Santa Cruz' timestamp='1305315936' post='2240982']
Such a good question MM! I appreciate all the answers.

I try to keep things in perspective, not allowing my emotions to rule and keeping the bigger picture in mind to avoid getting lost in my little world. Maintaining a grateful attitude and awareness plus persevering in joy helps a lot. Also, I find pm is great, connecting with others upon the same journey. I also try to attend gatherings of like minded folks, such as Frassatti Fellowship in NYC. Above all, daily Mass, prayer (Adoration, the Liturgy of the Hours, Lectio, the Rosary, spiritual reading, the Mercy Chaplet...), frequent Confession and staying in touch with my spiritual director I find to be essential. Oh, yeah, EWTN, Zenit news...help me stay in touch with the Universal Church. I am waiting to answer what I perceive is God calling me to religious life however I can still serve God now, give Him my all as I wait.

This time is really a gift, time with family, with friends...Surely, I have my moments but that is The Way of the Cross, falling down and getting back up again...

Thank you!

Here is a song you may enjoy:

http://youtu.be/Bb7TSGptd3Y
[/quote]

I love that song from "Fireproof"! I was crying during that movie.