For Those Who Have Tried Religious Life...

[faithcecelia]

Like so many here, I tried religious life and then had to leave. In my case I had been there for 16mths and was sent away very soon after the community had taken the first of 3 votes to allow me to continue, where they had voted unanimously to stay, which I think added to the shock and absolute devastation I felt.

How long did some of you stay in a community? Did you choose to leave or was the decision theirs? Please don't feel obliged to give any details, Im just interested as I had been told that it is usually clear quite quickly if someone is not suited to the life and that my mths was quite a long time.

[Lilllabettt]

18 months. Decision was theirs. It was certainly the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. I cried every day for an entire year! But looking back on it, I can see that it was the right thing, and I am glad they did what I myself lacked the courage to do.

Edited May 8, 2011 by Lilllabettt

[cmaD2006]

9 months in community #1 (my choice to leave).

Well the months I was in the community in Argentina (community #2)... depends on how you count them:
it can be: 6 months or 12 months. 6 months in the community, 6 months in a new foundation (branching off of the new community). I was yet wasn't a postulant of the 1st (original) community. Note -- this last experience is 100% NOT the norm.

And even the leaving part -- it was yet it wasn't my choice? To explain:
a) I agreed to being part of the new community (same founder), a decision honestly made out of pressure to do so
b) when I wanted to return to the other community I was told by a priest from our institute (they're separate institutes but under one family) that I could not. Never discussed it with the mother general nor the mother vicar of the community
c) even my leaving -- I was to stay until we were able to make certain arrangements in the states; but there was a big misunderstanding/miscommunication between the sister that was placed in charge of our experience (towards the end of my stay, after 5 months being in the new order it was decided to have a sister from the original community give us an experience of religious life) and the priest from the community that I was in contact with. She misunderstood -- and thought that I could leave whenever while waiting for arrangements. She was wrong ... and she convinced me to leave months in advance.

Looking at the two communities (counting the 12 months in Argentina as one community) I properly discerned entrance to both. Both communities had a lot in common, just that the 2nd community was more active (more of what I was looking for). I am still convinced that it was where I was supposed to be, and until I find something else or stumble upon where the Lord really wants me now I don't think I will completely get over what happened. It was quite hard -- it did bring on a lot of growth, but geez I don't wish that type of experience on anyone even someone who I dislike.

[Cherie]

5 years, 2 months. My decision, but no less difficult. For me, it wasn't God's will. I had wanted religious life very badly since I had been in 8th grade, and being the stubborn mule I am, I kept at it even though there [i]were[/i] signs that it wasn't my vocation. Finally, through the intercession of St. Raphael, I made the decision to leave. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life, but I can honestly say I have never regretted it. Now I am married to a wonderful man and we have a beautiful, precious baby boy. Being a wife and mother now, it's more clear to me than I can possibly express that THIS is my vocation, and I love every second of it! But I would NOT be the wife, mother, or [i]woman[/i] that I am today had I not spent the time in the convent that I had. I am truly grateful for all the time I spent there. My former community and I still keep in touch and we are on good terms.