Does Anybody Have A Quick Minute To Read Through This For Me?

[TeresaBenedicta]

I'm part of a three person panel presenting at a parish retreat tonight. Our prompt was:

As a member of the Pastoral Team, what do you want for the parishioners of St. Rita's?
As a member of the Pastoral Team, what do you see as missing and could improve if that were in place?

The name of the retreat is "Belonging leads to believing" and it's based of this hoaky program that I really don't care for at all. Anyways, there's a lot of background to my talk and why it might be a bit controversial. (My parish is huge on building "community" but, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between our community and the cub scouts... the spiritual is all but missing.)

Anyways, if anyone has time to take a quick read/look at my talk and give some feedback, I'd greatly appreciate it. PS I'm still working on the ending.

[spoiler]The question posed to this panel tonight is one that I have considered and prayed about often during my time here at St. Rita’s. What do I want for the parishioners at this parish? This question, ultimately, is one that I find defines and directs my role on the staff. This question, and the answer to this question, determines how I can best serve the parish in my position as director of faith formation. Everything I do, from my prayer to my work, revolves around this question and its answer.

What is the answer to this question? My answer is the same one to every question ever asked by mankind: Jesus Christ. My deepest and most authentic desire for each and every one of you is that you come to know and love Jesus in an intimate, life-changing way. That each of you echo, with great conviction, the words of St. Paul, “Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ” (Philippians 3:8). That each of you experiences the joy of falling in love with God.

“Nothing,” writes Fr. Pedro Arrupe, “Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.”

These are powerful words. These words are the essence of the Gospel. Fall in love. Do you know that God is head over heels in love with you? That He’d do anything to have you fall in love with Him? That is why Jesus came to earth, according to John’s Gospel, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

We hear Jesus’ words in the Gospels, beckoning us to come to Him. “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink.” “Come to me all you who labor and I will give you rest.”

This rest, this drink, this eternal life that Jesus gives to us is Himself. His own life. And it is not just a reward to be enjoyed after we die… it is a promise of true life today and everyday. Life that is love.

Fall in love. One taste of this eternal life that Jesus gives is enough to capture our hearts. And I think many, if not most of us, have had this experience. It’s what brings us here today.

Falling in love is easy, but staying in love…now that’s a different story. Love is hard-work. This is as true for marriage as it is in our relationship with God. It is this ‘staying in love’ that is part two of my desire for the parishioners of St. Rita’s. Vatican II calls this ‘staying in love’ the universal call to holiness. Universal because it calls all of us, regardless of our state or walk in life, to the fullness of Christian life, the perfection of love. St. Paul writes of it in his letter to the Thessalonians, “This is the will of God, your sanctification” (1 Th. 4:3) and Jesus commands it of us when He says, “Be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect” (Mt. 5:48).

Holiness. Sanctification. Perfection. All of these are different ways of saying…we must constantly be living a life of continual conversion. Always turning back to God. Each and every day making a concrete effort to advance in the virtues of faith, hope, and love. To be conformed to Christ, to do God’s will in everything, to devote ourselves to the glory of God and to the service of our neighbor. To end each day saying, ‘I know and love God more today than I did yesterday.’

This is crucial. And I don’t think we- and I include myself in this statement- I don’t think we take it seriously enough.
Part of taking this call to holiness seriously, of taking our spiritual lives seriously, is being a part of a community that likewise takes it seriously.

Speaking of community: We have an amesome sense of community here at St Rita’s. We really do. It’s contagious. Almost everyone who comes here comments on it- they feel welcome. They can sense the energy of the community. It’s often what draws people to our parish. It’s a beautiful thing! And it’s a great foundation to building a community that is committed to continual spiritual growth.

I’d like to draw your attention to three questions from the ‘Keys to Engagement’ survey that most, if not all, of you have filled out. The first is this: There is someone in my parish who encourages my spiritual development. Only 62% of survey takers rated this with a four or a five. Here’s another: The other members of my parish are committed to spiritual growth. Only 49% voted with a strongly agree or agree. And perhaps the most sobering is this: In the last six months, someone in my parish has talked to me about the progress of my spiritual growth. Only 28% of survey takers rated this with a 4 or a 5. And mind you, these statistics are taken from those most active in our parish. It doesn’t speak for the everyday, Sunday parishioner.

Forgive me for being blunt… but this is unacceptable. We should be doing better than this! We can do better than this. We are a Catholic parish. We are the Church. Bringing people to Jesus is our main mission! That’s how we best love people! To bring them to Jesus!
So the question now is… how do we transform our vibrant, welcoming community into one that is also a place of profound spiritual nourishment? Or better yet, how do elevate and ignite our community with the Divine Love that encourages and nourishes the spiritual growth of ourselves and our neighbor?

First, each of us, individually, needs to recommit ourselves to living out our baptismal promises. To respond whole-heartedly to that universal call- and it is a calling- to holiness; to spend time each day in private prayer; to receive the sacraments frequently; to avail ourselves of the resources that help us to grow in the knowledge and practice of our faith; to put our God-given talents to use, serving God and our neighbor.

St. Francis of Assisi tells us: “Sanctify yourself and you will sanctify society.” There is a great truth to this statement. Our greatest evangelization tool, if you will, is our own holiness and love of God, present in our lives.

Second, we need, as a parish, to make a communal commitment to spiritual growth. To, as a community, offer and take advantage of opportunities for spiritual nourishment. Things such as adult faith formation classes, bible studies, book clubs, Eucharistic adoration, daily Mass, Marian devotions, prayer groups, Lenten stations of the cross, small faith groups, retreats, Walk-in-Faiths, etc. Our Catholic tradition offers us a wealth of resources!

We devote our selves to this not just for our own good, but also for our neighbor. In order for us to serve, we must be nourished. Service without nourishment leads to burnout.

I’d like to end with a short story about Mother Teresa.

Mother Teresa, model of true Christian love, began each day with an hour of prayer before Jesus- a holy hour. Before she went out to take care of the poor, the sick, the most needy, she put herself before her Lord and her God. “Unless we have Jesus,” she used to say, “we cannot give Him.”

One day she met a parish priest who was in charge of a very large parish. He remarked to Mother Teresa that it was truly amazing that she was able to spend an hour in prayer each day, considering all that she did to serve the poor and that he himself was so busy that he could not find time to pray for an hour. Mother Teresa took his hand and looked him in the eye and said, “If you are that busy, my son, then you must certainly be praying two holy hours a day!”

We cannot give Jesus if we do not have Jesus. Each and every day we must return to Him and ask Him to give us drink, to give us rest, to give us Eternal Life. Individually and as a parish.

[/spoiler]

[Lil Red]

It sounds beautiful and if I could come support you, I definitely would!

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='Lil Red' timestamp='1304724117' post='2238125']
It sounds beautiful and if I could come support you, I definitely would!
[/quote]

Thanks.

I'm a bit nervous at the reception I'll get with it. The group that is hosting the 'retreat' (more like a workshop... there's not even PRAYER!!) is the older leadership who, bless them, are very service and community oriented. To the exclusion of, well, as I've pointed out in my talk, spiritual nourishment and direct talk of Jesus.

[Brother Adam]

I will say a prayer. Let us know how it goes. As with everything you do, it is stellar.

[Ed Normile]

I read it every word of it, and then I read it again. That was profound. Your premise of falling in love with Jesus is right on track and should hit home with everyone present. I had a few thoughts, coming from just a regular guy who has been a catholic his whole life and is married (26 years), you touched on staying in love as being hard work, that is true in human relationships, you can let each other down at times, you can also hurt each other, intentionally or by a careless word or deed, but in a love relationship with God, only you can let Him down, he will never let you down, he will always be there for you, and he will never hurt you. Therefore it should follow that it would be easier by halves to stay in love with God, if in your love relationship with your spouse you were the attentive loving spouse each weekend and after, during the week you never gave your spouse a kind word, conversation or your time that relationship would suffer, it may even fail. On the other hand God will always love you even if you ignore him except for on the weekends, this level of love, when realized by the recipient should command your respect, command your awe, inspire you to return that love that is unconditional knowing that only you can let him down, and even when you ultimately do, he will be there to welcome you back, to love you unconditionally, to embrace you with his love. you have nothing to lose offering your love to God, and everything to gain.

Sorry for rambling, I enjoyed your speech, great job.

ed

[Cherie]

amesome!!! GREAT talk, and I love the way you put it; perfect for your audience. Really, great job TB!!! Please let us know how it goes! You definitely have my prayers!

[TeresaBenedicta]

Thank you all for your feedback- I really appreciate it!

I have mixed feelings about how it went.

On the one hand, it seemed to go really well. The crowd was responsive. I had a lot of positive feedback. Even a few people who came up to me and told me the profound impact that it had. I think it was powerful. Definitely something people needed to hear.

On the other hand, I wonder if people really got it. I mean... after the talks, we split into groups and the participants answered the same two questions. And it was ridiculous. Some of their responses were just... I don't know. Frustrating.

"What I want for the parish" turned into we need to shake hands and learn peoples names. We need to be more welcoming. People should open their arms while they pray.

Those were some of the group responses. (The same things that come up at every meeting, by the way.) And to be honest... I kind of wanted to bang my head against the table.

The thing is... I don't think they know how to think beyond those terms. When they try to think what can improve the parish... all they can think of is the 'natural' things. Which of course made me want to bang my head against the table even more.

Everything centers around 'being welcoming' and how to best do that. Don't get me wrong- I think hospitality is important... But that's not what our parish needs to focus on right now. We've got the natural 'glue' of a community down pretty well. Our parishioners are SPIRITUALLY HUNGRY. Thanks be to God we did get a few "we need small faith groups" and "book clubs" and "adult education". And a comment that parishioners don't "have the language" to talk about spiritual things... which I think is true and is why the minute somebody says "community" or "welcoming", you can forget any more talk about the spiritual.

-sigh-

And the frustrating thing is that every meeting is like this. We have an "Engaged Church" committee that discusses how we can be more welcoming to engage more people. Pastoral council talks about the same darn things. And I just want to shake people and say, "Don't you get it?! It's not about that!! We're missing the most essential element!!"

Which I tried to portray in my talk. And for the five minutes after my talk, people seemed to get it. But then that darn "w" word came into play and poof! There goes any talk about anything that really matters.

I don't think people are comfortable about letting God's love invade everything they do. The Mass is where everything spiritual happens and then the rest of parish life is all about human accomplishment.

Well. Here's to hoping we can get to them someday. Step by step, little by little. With a whole lot of grace poured out by the Holy Spirit.

Sorry for the rant. I'm feeling a little right now.

Edit to Add: I think that if we would have had time to sit and think and reflect and pray after the talks, things would've gone much better overall. Or heck, even if the night would've ended after them. But it's like when the entire congregation starts chit-chatting immediately after the last verse is sung after Mass. There's this mindset of "okay the spiritual is over let's get on to the real stuff". And there's no time to really sit with the spiritual.

So part of my frustration was with the layout of the evening itself because it was not conducive. And the behavior of the participants was pretty predictable. Again... they just don't have the language. So they go with what they do know.

[Brother Adam]

[b]I don't think people are comfortable about letting God's love invade everything they do.[/b]

Yes, that has been my frustration the past four years. My catechists have a difficult time understanding why I make them practice receiving both ways, when they just want to make it as feel good for the kids as possible. Behind everything we do is our love for God and our desire to give Him the glory so that we might have an intimate relationship with him. Parents are more concerned by what's "cute".

I actually hate the idea of greeters standing everywhere and shaking peoples hands as they come in. This is not a town meeting - this is worship and needs to be worship from the moment we step out of our car. If you want to be hospitable, save the liturgy. Save the liturgy, save the world. If we are going to compete for people based on cuteness and friendliness we've already lost, because on a purely natural level if there were no worship or encounter with God, then, yes the liturgy would be boring! We are not going to win converts by shaking hands. We win them by true evangelization. On a supernatural level it is the most incredible amesome encounter with God this side of heaven.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='Brother Adam' timestamp='1304766903' post='2238380']
[b]I don't think people are comfortable about letting God's love invade everything they do.[/b]

Yes, that has been my frustration the past four years. My catechists have a difficult time understanding why I make them practice receiving both ways, when they just want to make it as feel good for the kids as possible. Behind everything we do is our love for God and our desire to give Him the glory so that we might have an intimate relationship with him. Parents are more concerned by what's "cute".

I actually hate the idea of greeters standing everywhere and shaking peoples hands as they come in. This is not a town meeting - this is worship and needs to be worship from the moment we step out of our car. If you want to be hospitable, save the liturgy. Save the liturgy, save the world. If we are going to compete for people based on cuteness and friendliness we've already lost, because on a purely natural level if there were no worship or encounter with God, then, yes the liturgy would be boring! [b]We are not going to win converts by shaking hands. We win them by true evangelization. On a supernatural level it is the most incredible amesome encounter with God this side of heaven.[/b]
[/quote]

Yes. This. All of it.

Oh man there is so much pent up frustration in me right now! Haha. Partly because I'm about ready to go to part two of the "retreat" which is nothing but more small group reflection on lame questions (for example, "What is your earliest memory of parish community? How did it affect you?"). Six hours of this nonsense.

There's this group (the old leadership) trying to do this "Engaged Church" thing in our parish... and it's based off of this non-denominational book written from a gallup survey about "engagement". The whole premise is "belonging leads to believing." If we can be hospitable, make people feel like they belong and have a place, then everything will be honkey-dorey. You could take this book and give it to the cub scouts or any other 'community' and it'd be just the same. Of course it's loaded with Biblical language, but it's not the Gospel. It tries to be. But it just masks itself with Scripture.



I'll save my continued rant.

All I can say is that we need to rediscover and teach the distinction between the natural and the supernatural. Nature and grace.

[Brother Adam]

God bless you for putting up with 6 hours of that. I would interrupt it with what is truly important, what you have mentioned here ("Remember my talk yesterday?"). Maybe you will save a few souls.

[Brother Adam]

PS - I stole your quote from Father Arrupe for my catechists.

[Ed Normile]

[b]I don't think people are comfortable about letting God's love invade everything they do. The Mass is where everything spiritual happens [u]and then the rest of parish life is all about human accomplishment.[/u]
[/b]
The tell tale sentence, and most likely[b] [/b]the crux of the matter,[b] n[/b]ot only in your parish but in reality in the whole church, at least the american church. The trend to hail human accomplishment is firmly entrenched in the american church and will be tough to root out. When I was a young man you would not dare dream of clapping for the choirs rendition of a song no matter how well performed, now its the norm in most parishes. I travel and visit a lot of parishes, I see the priests leading the parishioners to clap for a good song, placing human accomplishment above the celebration. This seems to say to the "audience" that the "performance" is a central part of the service, something worthy of applause, not just something to accompany your worship.

I have sat embarrassed during mass when a priest has suddenly announced, I see some new faces, stand up and introduce yourself so we can welcome you. I always feel welcome in church, and I do not want to stand out or be the center of attention, and it seemed to send the message that the parishioners, or in this case the visitor was more important than the celebration of the mass. This has been slowly becoming accepted and it will take a long time to change, the change really needs to come from the pulpit, that is to say from the priest who should be looked at as the authority, not as a community organizer.

ed

[JenDeMaria]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1304780293' post='2238404']

<snip>



I'll save my continued rant.

All I can say is that we need to rediscover and teach the distinction between the natural and the supernatural. Nature and grace.
[/quote]

I really loved the opening of your speech. I'm glad it went over well -- I would have been thrilled to have heard it, myself.

And I completely agree with what your saying here. I think I belong to an amazing parish that is super reverent about the liturgy, that goes the extra mile in engaging in continuing education and formation, that strikes a good balance between being "welcoming" and understanding that Sunday Mass is really for the initiated. However, I still can't think of a single homily that I've heard within the last year that pointed to the supernatural dimension of our faith as integral to our understanding of it. There is never any discussion of sin or redemption or the miraculous.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. We have a really fervent and motivated parish priest who mentioned in one of his homilies that a high school student told him that Catholicism can be summed up in these words "Don't be a jerk", which seemed to take our priest by surprise. But what if there were no supernatural dimension to our faith? If we stripped out the entire concept of sin, the power of God to intervene in our lives with the miraculous, the redemptive qualities of Christ's passion, death and resurrection, and our hope of eternal life, we would wind up with a religion that, along with an aesthetically pleasing bundle of rituals, could be summed up as the nicer, kinder, gentler Sharia law: don't be jerk.

And doesn't this explain the mindset of the 60+% of all Catholics who see weekly attendance at Mass as being optional, who pick and choose their dogmas as interesting life suggestions? Because if the goal of Catholicism is mundane and temporal -- if it simply exists to make us nicer people here and now with Heaven registering as a kind of dim maybe -- then why would the details like cannon law matter, as long as we're good people? And wouldn't it be more important to welcome people into our parish (so that we can demonstrate what good friendly people we are) than worry about the state of their soul, their relationship with God and their eternal future?

The thing is, I don't think you can really intellectually explain the supernatural -- you can only indicate it. An understanding of the supernatural has to coincide with an experience of the supernatural. People need to see saints in order to believe that a supernatural life is possible, let alone desirable or preferable to the one they're focused on living.

And if this is so, then is it possible that by engaging in an extremely frustrating and generally fruitless "retreat" God is getting you to live out a level of holiness that will leave a deeper impact than 100 amazingly insightful speeches put together?

On a separate note, my initial reaction to "Belonging leads to believing" was "Only if by 'belonging' we mean membership in the Body of Christ!" Sheesh.

Do you think you could get away with addressing the reality that while, on the one hand, engaging in charity and loving each other is an integral part of our lives as Christians (fulfillment of the Greaterst Commandment and all that), nevertheless, if we only ever introduce newcomers to ourselves and not Christ, the limited nature of our love will never be satisfying because our love is finite but we were born with a thirst for the infinite. And, too, if belonging means belonging to a parish club or commission or any other purely human community, then we're playing bait and switch with those seekers who enter our churches looking for an encounter with the divine.