Is This Weird? (Attraction)

[Anastasia13]

Is this weird that I have only come across about 1.3 guys per year ion person who were sexually attractive to me since graduating high school? Is that low or normal? I just always kind of wondered.

Edited April 26, 2011 by Light and Truth

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='Light and Truth' timestamp='1303841230' post='2233466']
Is this weird that I have only come across about 1.3 guys per year ion person who were sexually attractive to me since graduating high school? Is that low or normal? I just always kind of wondered.
[/quote]

I think many (most?) women are different than men in this way. Even a heterosexual woman (that is, one who does not find other women sexually attractive at all) may only be physically attracted to a small proportion of the men she meets. She may like men, but actual sexual attraction? Likely to a much smaller number of men. I've also heard some women say they didn't have much interest in sex until they met "the right man."

As for whether your proportion is low or not, I don't know. It's normal for you. I think younger women may tend to find a higher proportion of men sexually attractive, simply because younger women have higher estrogen levels.

Not all women are the same, obviously. Some women find a lot of men sexually attractive, which is just fine. I think Hollywood would like to have us believe that most women are like this. Why? Because I think most men would like to believe that a lot of women find them sexually attractive.

In the end, the ONLY man that matters is the one you marry. It's only fair to him that you find HIM sexually attractive.

Otherwise, if you are concerned, you can talk with your (preferably female) OB/GYN about it, and have your estrogen levels checked. You can also talk to your priest, but I seriously doubt that most women are honest in talking about this subject, particularly to a man. It's a private matter.

[MithLuin]

I think for women especially, attraction is a combination of physical attributes...and knowing the person. I don't mean it can't be superficial, but I do mean that even a movie storyline adds something to the appeal of an actor that a simple poster or modeling ad wouldn't have. So, maybe it's that you haven't gotten to know that many guys well, and that's why you're not as attracted to them.

I'm more likely to notice that guys are cute in the springtime, for some reason. So maybe you just live in a dismal dreary environment .

Anyway, I don't think there's anything unusual about finding a limited number of guys attractive. The problem comes if you're dating a guy and don't find him attractive!

[ParadiseFound]

How well do you know all these men? I often find that I only find out if I'm truly attracted to someone if I get to know them well enough first.

[Anastasia13]

[quote name='ParadiseFound' timestamp='1303844882' post='2233495']
How well do you know all these men? I often find that I only find out if I'm truly attracted to someone if I get to know them well enough first.
[/quote]
I'm including a cute guy I never spoke a word to at a store I don't usually go to. I know some guys that I have gotten to know, but then they are not saved or I just don't find many of them physically attractive. How much of getting to know a guy should it take?

What is non-superficial sexual attraction like?

Also, is superficial attraction wrong like some would have us believe?

Ignatious, I'm not concerned, just trying to understand better. I'm not sure what a priest could add and this was the same when I was on birth control for non-birth-related reasons. I said since high school because I was homeschooled and probably had a smaller social circle than others.

Edited April 26, 2011 by Light and Truth

[Jaime]

How often do you come across .3 of a guy?

[missionseeker]

[quote name='jaime (the artist formerly known as hot stuff)' timestamp='1303846057' post='2233510']
How often do you come across .3 of a guy?
[/quote]


That was my question!


In my whole life, I've really only found found about 6 guys that I was really attracted to. Three of them are on TV. One of them is gay. One of them I dated.


I've never really questioned whether or not that was normal. Just figured it was it was.

[AudreyGrace]

[quote name='Light and Truth' timestamp='1303845772' post='2233507']
What is non-superficial sexual attraction like?

Also, is superficial attraction wrong like some would have us believe?

Ignatious, I'm not concerned, just trying to understand better. I'm not sure what a priest could add and this was the same when I was on birth control for non-birth-related reasons. I said since high school because I was homeschooled and probably had a smaller social circle than others.
[/quote]

I would think that non-superficial sexual attraction would be that you are attracted to someone not only because of what they look like. The whole attraction is a combination of their values, personality, and physical appearance. Ideally, this is the "better" sexual attraction, because you are accepting the entirety of the person God created, not just bits and pieces. In my opinion, this type of attraction is more important for lasting relationships.

Superficial attraction is not wrong, granted you don't enter into relationships only because of physical attraction. There's nothing bad about seeing a person and thinking "wow" lol, it's what you do with it. Do you entertain lustful thoughts? Or do you acknowledge God's creation, possibly approach them in a respectful way, or move on?

I have heard that birth control pills can have effects like the ones you're experiencing, but I don't know enough on the topic to say much about it.

I wouldn't be too worried about not finding a lot of men attractive. Keeps you focused on other things. Trust me, being able to think that a lot of men are attractive is not the greatest thing in the world...lol.

[AudreyGrace]

And in addition to what missionseeker said, I've only sincerely liked a few guys, about 4 or 5. One guy's uncle ended up marrying my mom 2 years ago, so that was a no-go lol, another experiences same-sex attraction. At the time, I didn't know it. He was, and still is, very secretive about it. We all have our strike-outs lol. Don't be dismayed.

Edited April 26, 2011 by AudreyGrace

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='AudreyGrace' timestamp='1303847022' post='2233525']
I wouldn't be too worried about not finding a lot of men attractive. Keeps you focused on other things. Trust me, being able to think that a lot of men are attractive is not the greatest thing in the world...lol.
[/quote]

The only time I found a lot of men attractive was right after my wedding, when I'd look at a guy and think, "I'm never going to be able to date him," and a short time later see another guy and think, "I'm never going to be able to date him," etc etc. Thank goodness this phase was very short lived. Forbidden fruit and all that.

Right now, one of my many medications has the side effect of essentially removing one's sex drive. It is a considered a bad side effect, and it would be if I were still married. But, as an unmarried woman (my marriage ended in divorce--totally HIS idea), I find it kind of restful to not have to wrestle with unwanted thoughts. If God grants me the miracle of meeting "Mr. Right," I will have my doctor change my medications. Until then, I have plenty of other sins to deal with, so having one less to worry about is not a bad thing.

[Anastasia13]

[quote name='jaime (the artist formerly known as hot stuff) (the artist formerly known as hot stuff) (the artist formerly known as hot stuff)' timestamp='1303846057' post='2233510']
How often do you come across .3 of a guy?
[/quote]
Well, I divided and then rounded up. I guess really it should be closer to 1, but that is including the slightly cute guys.

I guess compared to years past starting adolescence, I am probably not that different from some of you who posted. Thank you guys.

Edited April 26, 2011 by Light and Truth