How Young Is Too Young?

[tnavarro61]

A lot of times I was told before that I was too young to discern. I was even told by someone to enjoy life, as if I were not to enjoy life as a religious! I was told to finish high school, which is, of course, a sound advice. When I graduated high school, some would tell me to finish college first. Then what's next? I suppose I will receive an advice that says "go get girls" after college.

One time at the Cathedral, I've met some postulants and novices of my age. I then thought of minor seminarians, of priests who were inside the seminary when they were 13 years old. I've met a lot of religious since then who entered religious life at 17 and are now superiors. And they are not a few, there are a lot of them. This made me think: why should I postpone discernment [b]when I could[/b]? Why should I postpone my discernment because I am "too young" when a lot of religious started when they were of my age, some even younger?

Then, I "blasted off." I decided to answer the Lord's call promptly. The Lord doesn't deserve second thoughts. I've read good books regarding vocation (I suggest [b]Come Follow Me[/b] by Fr. Manelli and [b]Give Me Your Heart[/b] by the IVEs) and there I learned that we should not keep the Lord waiting, that one can follow the Lord as a religious at a young age. [i]It's possible.[/i]

I know and I understand that one must not take religious vocation lightly. One must discern seriously because this is a major decision. But does one has to be old to say that discerner is discerning seriously? Yeah, I understand that age contributes a lot because as one grows, he matures in thinking. But does graces come to us according to our age?

Any thoughts?
[img]http://www.turnbacktogod.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/jesus-with-children-1201.jpeg[/img]

[AccountDeleted]

Speaking from the other end of the spectrum (an older vocation), I would say that one should discern when the Lord calls. I don't think age matters to Him as much as it does to us. David was very young when God called him, and so was Jeremiah, and some of the other prophets and saints. On the other hand, Abraham was so old that he couldn't believe the Lord was going to give him and Sarah a son - but He did!

There are a lot of obstacles to religious life, so why make age one of them? If there are legal barriers to discernment regarding age (whether civil or canonical), then one should see this as God's will for them and learn patience, but that doesn't mean that one can't still keep their focus on God and continue to discern in an interior way. There are reasons why age llimits are set on acceptance into religious life, and these are usually very practical or designed for the welfare of the applicant or the community. The best thing IMHO is to place one's desire before the Lord and then let Him handle the fine tuning of how/when/where etc.

There will be as many opinions about any topic as there are people who are asked so for one person to judge another about their discernment is just silly. We all have opinions, but that's all they are, unless we are the one who is making the decision.

I praise anyone who tries to do God's will, whether that be in religious life or as a lay person. All He asks for is that we love Him and each other.

Edited April 26, 2011 by nunsense

[krissylou]

It seems to me it varies so much from person to person.

Most of my friends have gotten married in their late 20s to early 30s. That's perceived as "normal." But one of my college roommates got married a few months after her 21st birthday. For lots of people that would be too early and they wouldn't be mature enough yet. But these two were, and it would have been crazy to wait for another seven years because people aren't "supposed" to get married until their late 20s.

[Tally Marx]

When I broached the subject of waiting with my spiritual director, he gave me some advice I found very sound:

1) on the subject of maturity- God doesn't call someone who cannot answer that call. Just because you are young doesn't automatically mean you are too immature to discern or enter. If you truly have a calling, then you are capable of responding to that call, and it is up to you and your SD and Superiors to decide whether or not that call is genuine, no one else. To people who tell me I'm too immature, I just ask them how they can expect me to handle college life and the world and dating relationships, even marriage, but not religious life. If I'm mature enough to handle the one, then I can handle other.

2) on living life- Jesus didn't let His Apostles 'live life' when He called them. There wasn't any waiting to go to college, date a bit, or bury mothers. He called, and they had to drop everything they were doing and go. So many young people who feel, right out of highschool, a call, wait to go to college "for one year". One year becomes two, two becomes four, and then they find a guy/girl...
Not responding to God's call promptly, waiting to "live life", only gives you more time to get distracted. To people who tell me I need to live life more, I just ask them, "What life?". Religious life IS life!! That is the life God wants me to live, and because He wills it, I am promised perfect happiness in it. Why waste time and energy doing anything else?

Edited April 26, 2011 by Tally Marx

[LaPetiteSoeur]

From the book of Jeremiah:
"I know not how to speak; I am too young."
But the LORD answered me, Say not, "I am too young." To whomever I send you, you shall go; whatever I command you, you shall speak. "

God calls each of us in his own time. Some are called when they are young, seventeen, sixteen, etc. Some are called even younger. Some enter at that age. Others cannot. I can't because I have to finish university first.

Some religious sisters I've talked to actually suggest attending university or waiting a year or two doing service work. It allows for more time for discernment. Also, it's a great way to start helping souls get to heaven. It's really, though, between you and God. You'll know when the right age is, be it seventeen or sixty.

[MargaretTeresa]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1303835738' post='2233409']
From the book of Jeremiah:
"I know not how to speak; I am too young."
But the LORD answered me, Say not, "I am too young." To whomever I send you, you shall go; whatever I command you, you shall speak. "

God calls each of us in his own time. Some are called when they are young, seventeen, sixteen, etc. Some are called even younger. Some enter at that age. Others cannot. I can't because I have to finish university first.

Some religious sisters I've talked to actually suggest attending university or waiting a year or two doing service work. It allows for more time for discernment. Also, it's a great way to start helping souls get to heaven. It's really, though, between you and God. You'll know when the right age is, be it seventeen or sixty.
[/quote]

Very sound advice. I am in college an so know the feeling. But I just got back from breakfast with an older friend (my RCIA sponsor) and she is the first person I have told aloud (and that I know like, face to face) about my discernment.

She was really excited and told me to talk to Fr. Joe. And to pray. And that no matter how old you are or what your position in life is, you are still discerning God's will all the time.

Pax and God bless.

[tnavarro61]

Thank you very much for your responses, especially for the biblical passages. All of what you have said are sound to me. I hope people would read your responses.It is a common complain that we lack vocations. Instead of encouraging the youth, many seems to discourage them [i]at first[/i].. Then what happens? Vocation is then "lost".

[LaPetiteSoeur]

About this topic:

Last night, I suddenly remembered about Abraham, our faith father! He wasn't called until he was 75! So one is never "too young" or "too old" to hear the voice of God!

[dominicansoul]

i think 3 years old would be too young...

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1304087648' post='2234584']
i think 3 years old would be too young...
[/quote]

I guess....

[krissylou]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1304093515' post='2234606']
I guess....
[/quote]

Well, Hannah sent Samuel off as soon as he was weaned.

I would not recommend that, though.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1304087648' post='2234584']
i think 3 years old would be too young...
[/quote]

What?! You're crazy. If a three year old shows an affinity toward religious life, they should be allowed to grow up in the monastery so as to test out their vocation.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1304095532' post='2234622']
What?! You're crazy. If a three year old shows an affinity toward religious life, they should be allowed to grow up in the monastery so as to test out their vocation.
[/quote]

[krissylou]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1304095532' post='2234622']
What?! You're crazy. If a three year old shows an affinity toward religious life, they should be allowed to grow up in the monastery so as to test out their vocation.
[/quote]

TB, is your real name Hannah?

[MithLuin]

You laugh, but it wasn't uncommon in medieval times for parents/relatives to drop off a child at a monastery.

Venerable Bede entered the Benedictine Abbey at age 7, was ordained to the diaconate at age 19, and was ordained a priest at age 30. He was born c. AD 672. I somehow doubt that any sort of 'discernment' on his part was part of this process. The decision was made, and he lived the life.

As we all know, St. Therese petitioned the pope to be permitted to enter Carmel at the age of 15. Teresa of the Andes was 18 when she entered, but had the desire to do so since the age of 14.


Basically, I think you can discern at *any* age. There are children who 'play' mass, and talk about religious life. I don't think there's any need to discourage them...nor to take them seriously. When my sister was 6, she wanted to be a priest. If everyone had told her she was a horrible/evil person for even thinking such a thing, she may have taken a dim view of the Church. Instead, she was mostly encouraged, even by priests, and eventually grew out of it. She worked as a youth minister for several years, and is now a wife and mother.

If parents or communities have age restrictions on when a young person may begin to correspond, that is reasonable and acceptable. After all, the community doesn't want to get in trouble for 'kidnapping' young people, so if they say 'We won't write to you until you are 18' that's fine.